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Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#1: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:25:20 PM

Recently, I took a long look at my fiancee's abdomen, and felt ashamed. She is amazingly fit, with a bloody six-pack, and I. . . am not.

I'm pretty much good in all areas except two, the plague of middle-class America: the abs and chest.

I have a decent amount of muscle in my abdomen, but instead of forming an appealing 'pack, it's just sort of shaped like a wall. No bulges, period.

My chest is another story. I have what can be positively described as 'pecks' and negatively described as 'a really deep chest with little man titty things.'

Because of carpal tunnel and severe nerve damage in my right hand, I can't do push-ups without cringing in pain.

I have no steady income, being a student and all, and thus cannot obtain workout equipment or a membership to the YMCA.

Does anyone here know any effective exercises I can do to fix this? Help me, TVTropes, you're my only hope.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#2: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:45:19 PM

If you have adequate abs, it still doesn't matter because if you have a thin layer of fat, it covers them. It doesn't have to be a lot, it takes a really low body fat percentage.

BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#3: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:47:24 PM

You are just plain not going to get six-pack abs. It is redonkulously difficult to get six-pack abs, and should only be attempted if you are trying to compete as a body builder.

Even professional weightlifters don't have six-pack abs.

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#4: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:49:21 PM

Then how the bloody Hell did my fiancee get them? She dances recreationally and not much else, and eats more than you'd think her tiny body could hold.

On the same token, I'm pretyy much okay with the abs thing, if a bit miffed. My main issue is getting my chest into good shape.

edited 2nd Feb '11 6:50:08 PM by Diamonnes

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan Since: Jan, 2010
PARTY HARD!!!!
#5: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:51:53 PM

Thai Kickboxing.

If you can handle it. Just be sure to find an Asian practitioner. Western folks tend to teach a toned down version.

It has lots of focus on the abs, as they are necessary for good knee strikes and the like; further, you have to train to get in the chest and such, as a result you'll really compact your muscles.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#6: Feb 2nd 2011 at 6:55:12 PM

Like I said, no income.

Also, I live in the middle of Absolutely Nowhere, Ohio. And, for obvious reasons, I can't drive. I'm mostly stuck with stuff I can do at home or in the woods.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan Since: Jan, 2010
PARTY HARD!!!!
#7: Feb 2nd 2011 at 7:00:37 PM

Awwww... so much for spreading the gospel of my art...

K'then.

This or this perhaps?

Personally, I know of a whole slew of exercises, though I'm unsure of how to describe them.

Bicycle crunches are pretty good. You lay on your back and move your legs like you are riding a bike. Be sure to extend your legs all the way and pull them back all the way.

edited 2nd Feb '11 7:01:24 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
BlackHumor Since: Jan, 2001
#8: Feb 2nd 2011 at 7:06:12 PM

That second site, ad at the bottom: I actually think the doodle woman looks best in the second thinnest picture.

Had to note that down, don't mind me.

Aprilla Since: Aug, 2010
#9: Feb 2nd 2011 at 7:29:54 PM

@Anonym: There are plenty of Westerners who teach Muay Thai and perform at or above the level of Easterners, so race or region should not be a factor in training. A bad instructor is a bad instructor regardless of nationality or ethnicity, watered down or not. I've trained with some pretty shitty Asians before (more frequently than you might think), so I have to say that the "Asians are better at martial arts" stereotype is just that - a stereotype. Sorry, but that misconception really gets under my skin.

As for conditioning, I'd recommend looking through the Cross Fit website or Body Rock TV for exercises that don't involve equipment. If you have a wall and a decent-sized floor, you can get really creative with chest and ab routines. I know you said you don't have income, but try finding some cheap weights below thirty dollars (two 15 lb weights) and go from there. You don't need much weight to make progress.

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#10: Feb 2nd 2011 at 7:40:40 PM

I recommend a chest press and pushups for a better chest.

^

Agreed. Best Jiujitsu teacher I ever had was Filipino.

edited 2nd Feb '11 7:41:35 PM by Barkey

TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan Since: Jan, 2010
PARTY HARD!!!!
#11: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:07:19 PM

@Aprilla: Not necessarily; I said tend to. Though, I should have mentioned nationality rather than race. I mention this because of how foreign cultures tend to be more intense about these things.

For example, tournaments in Thailand will be more brutal than one would see in America. Ultimately, what qualifies as abuse in the west is OK in some parts of the east. This isn't the rule, but it is more common than not.

Also, I said "Asian" instead of "Filipino", my mistake.

My instructor himself was raised as a monk over in Thailand. He actually has a relative who died in the ring when he got kneed in his kidney.

He said himself that if were to teach normal classes the way he teaches the authentic classes, very few people would stick around, so he has to tone it down. Thus, he has different classes that focus on such. Another part of this is he won't teach many of the "killing" techniques to kids and the like.

edited 2nd Feb '11 8:34:59 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
#12: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:32:02 PM

Maybe the reason your girlfriend has a sixpack but you don't is related to the differing distributions of fat on males and females. From memory, in women it sits in the thighs, while in men it sits in the abdomen.

Be not afraid...
Aprilla Since: Aug, 2010
#13: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:37:21 PM

[up][up]"More brutal" does not translate to "better", especially in the context of physical fitness and safety. For the OP's purpose, it would actually be to his benefit to study a toned-down version of Muay Thai because most modern instructors enforce proper stretching and first aid. I've had this argument with cage fighters several times, and the consensus is that if you want to train hard, there is a certain threshold you need to set for yourself, especially if you're like the OP and you have a wrist problem.

An instructor from a violent and corrupt country who will push you to your breaking point, while authentic martial arts training, could land you in a wheel chair by the time you're 40. Granted, there are plenty of professional fighters who take good care of themselves and maintain decent skeletal integrity well into their 50s. However, I have to rule in my advice as a teacher by recommending to the OP that you don't have to go the "hardcore Asian" route to be a competent fighter or athlete. And since he just wants to look good naked, the entry-level courses you'd find at a YMCA or UFC gym are perfectly fine. If the topic was about his getting ready for a fight in Thailand, I'd completely agree with you, but that's not his aim.

And to avoid misunderstanding, I also agree with you that some training facilities in non-US countries tend to be more brutal, so that might have been my fault in misinterpreting what you were saying.

edited 2nd Feb '11 8:43:38 PM by Aprilla

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#14: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:48:45 PM

Pull-ups are kinda tolerable, but they still leave me unable to do much of anything for a few days. Is there anything that can trade out intensity for repetition and still be effective?

Also, if I were preparing for a fight, I'd rather stick with my boxing and MMA, thanks :P

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Trivia Depository
#15: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:50:29 PM

Out of curiosity, who IS the most fit troper? In terms of physical fitness, not fighting skill or anything like that.

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#16: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:51:26 PM

Probably Kino.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Trivia Depository
#17: Feb 2nd 2011 at 8:53:34 PM

Yeah? How so, I figured it would be one of the military ones, like Major Tom or Barkey.

Aprilla Since: Aug, 2010
SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Trivia Depository
#19: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:02:46 PM

Steel Cage match? 8D

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#20: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:04:20 PM

Probably some combination of Aprilla, Kino, Scrye, and myself.

To be honest I'm pretty sure Scrye is in better shape than me, being USMC and all. I'm in good shape because I keep myself in good shape, but being in the Guard means no mandatory PT, so I'm the only thing pushing myself not to become a fatass. I think it's a requirement to make SNCO in the Guard though, so I'm shit out of luck on promotion opportunities until I decide to start skipping gym and eating fast food every day.

I have experience on my side though, been deployed plenty and I've studied martial arts for a while. Also fought plenty of motherfuckers since I'm military police, and my rowdy motherfuckers are all soldiers. tongue

Aprilla definitely is our local Martial Arts dude though, so I guess I'm the jack of all trades, master of none. Tom hasn't even gone to basic yet, he's just preparing himself for it physically so it isn't quite as hard, he'll still get smoked to the point of exhaustion, everybody will be.

edited 2nd Feb '11 9:05:14 PM by Barkey

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#21: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:06:01 PM

SS, I was thinkng more "naked parade" but OK.

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#22: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:07:00 PM

Lord no, I'm way too self-conscious for that shit. I hate being naked.

SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Trivia Depository
#23: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:07:15 PM

...Wait, Major Tom isnt even IN the military yet? From his hawkish behavior I expected him to be stationed in Iraq by now.

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#24: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:13:17 PM

No, he's just a hawkish individual. He didn't officially join until several months ago, and has not gone to boot camp yet.

Sometimes I have to give him a little reminder nudge that he isn't allowed to give the general state of opinions on what soldiers think until he actually is one, right now he doesn't have any real experiences to back up his thoughts on what the military is really like, aside from DEP, which is a poor example.

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#25: Feb 2nd 2011 at 9:17:14 PM

lolderail.

<<

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.

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