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Bisected8 This is what happens when you're raised by birds from Her Hackette Cave Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
This is what happens when you're raised by birds
Jan 17th 2011 at 4:49:27 PM

I'll post an Evil Plan of some sort below.

The next poster should explain how they're going to foil it and then post a plan for the next poster;

I shall steal the world's supply of metal rulers and use them all to build my Doomsday Device!

edited 17th Jan '11 4:49:46 PM by Bisected8

If you ask a baker for proof of bread, she shall rise!
Anomalocaris20 Salty AF from Sagittarius A* Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
Salty AF
Jan 17th 2011 at 4:55:16 PM

Build a counter-doomsday device out of measuring compasses to combat it.

I am going to contaminate the entire ocean with alfredo sauce

The fact that the world exists means nobody has had a TRUE 'everything bagel' yet. Twitch
SheWhoChewsGum Teeny hat. from Kilt-land!
Teeny hat.
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:14:16 PM

I have already drank the sauce!

I shall train my fellow fangirls, then take over the world!

"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
Bisected8 This is what happens when you're raised by birds from Her Hackette Cave Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
This is what happens when you're raised by birds
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:15:48 PM

^^ I shall drop hundreds of tonnes of pasta into the sea, along with a Big Eater. Problem solved.

^ I will call the Team Of Justice! Then have them engage in a Ho Yayish scene. Your fangirls are now distracted.

I will summon an array of Crazy Frog expy ringtones to annoy everyone into a pschotic rage, thus destroying society as we know it.

edited 17th Jan '11 5:16:59 PM by Bisected8

If you ask a baker for proof of bread, she shall rise!
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:18:39 PM

I've switched every single ringtone with Final Countdown.

I plan to steal all the world's supply of Dr. Pepper.

I now go by Graf von Tirol.
StolenByFaeries Believe from a reprogrammed reality
Believe
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:19:32 PM

[up][up]Employ an army of competent therapists armed with tranquilizers.

[up] Utilize the piracy markets to track it down again, thus rendering your theft useless.

Amass a number of followers in different internet societies under a number of aliases before convincing them to take over small parts of the world until I can finally unite them as one.

edited 17th Jan '11 5:21:09 PM by StolenByFaeries

"You've got your transmission and your live wire, but your circuit's dead." - Media
SheWhoChewsGum Teeny hat. from Kilt-land!
Teeny hat.
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:24:01 PM

Release a picture of you kicking a cat. Your plan will crash and burn.

I shall make a huge mirror that will reflect sunlight, concentrate it, and blow up the Earth!

"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:26:35 PM

Throws a huge rock at the mirror, shattering it.

I have assembled an army of BLU Heavies to invade Japan and rule with an iron fist FISTS OF STEEL!

edited 17th Jan '11 5:26:42 PM by EarlOfSandvich

I now go by Graf von Tirol.
Eyedol829 HELLOTHERE from The Extra Stage
HELLOTHERE
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:28:10 PM

Bribe them with sandwiches

I shall turn everyone in the planet into anime freaks!

I want flies in on a dragons!
Anomalocaris20 Salty AF from Sagittarius A* Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
Salty AF
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:38:55 PM

Ban television channels airing anime, making them quit cold turkey.

I have stolen keys from under people's doormats! They'll freeze to death in the cold!

The fact that the world exists means nobody has had a TRUE 'everything bagel' yet. Twitch
Bisected8 This is what happens when you're raised by birds from Her Hackette Cave Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
This is what happens when you're raised by birds
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:44:51 PM

The Locksmith to the rescue!

I will steal all the caffeine from coffee, leaving everyone but me with decaff!

If you ask a baker for proof of bread, she shall rise!
StolenByFaeries Believe from a reprogrammed reality
Believe
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:50:44 PM

I will give everyone tea and gurana berries which have more caffeine than coffee!

I will rally the cat army by promising the earth to them (face it: we know they're already plotting world domination)

"You've got your transmission and your live wire, but your circuit's dead." - Media
Shichibukai Permanently Banned from Banland
Permanently Banned
Jan 17th 2011 at 5:55:54 PM

Then I will poison them with catnip.

I shall build millions of destroyer mecha in my secret factories, and have them burrow deep underground and conquer the World overnight!

Requiem ~ September 2010 - October 2011 [Banned 4 Life]
Anomalocaris20 Salty AF from Sagittarius A* Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
Salty AF
Jan 17th 2011 at 6:04:17 PM

I use an earthquake machine to destroy them preemptively. Nothing wrong with that plan!

I have kidnapped world leaders and have them suspended over a pool of acid

The fact that the world exists means nobody has had a TRUE 'everything bagel' yet. Twitch
StolenByFaeries Believe from a reprogrammed reality
Believe
Jan 17th 2011 at 6:07:34 PM

Drop them. They're just figureheads anyway: It's not like you have the whole party over there.

I mean,

Mix in a base rendering your acid useless. (I think)

Force the world into sumission by playing Beiber on all the radios and Twilight on all the T Vs until they submit to me.

edited 17th Jan '11 6:11:13 PM by StolenByFaeries

"You've got your transmission and your live wire, but your circuit's dead." - Media
SabresEdge Show an affirming flame from a defense-in-depth
Show an affirming flame
Jan 17th 2011 at 6:18:50 PM

I have all the world's jammer aircraft on standby. They override the Twilight audio feeds with Rifftrax and add in colorful MST-style commentary on Bieber's singing. (True, half the world would die of laughter, but that's another matter entirely...)

Soon, my army of trained mimmoths shall supplant the world's rat population!

edited 17th Jan '11 6:19:36 PM by SabresEdge

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.
Bisected8 This is what happens when you're raised by birds from Her Hackette Cave Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
This is what happens when you're raised by birds
Jan 18th 2011 at 6:44:57 AM

I genetically engineer an army of smalladons to hunt the mimmoths.

I shall buy stocks in several small non-hyrdocarbon based plastic producers disguise myself as Mr. Rogers' zombie, go on a killing spree and claim I rose from my grave out of anger with the way oil is being misused. A few of my lackies stepping in to placate "Mr. Rogers" with the news of their companies' products.

If you ask a baker for proof of bread, she shall rise!
GreatGodPan Gimmie the sit-rep. from The Woods. Where else?
Gimmie the sit-rep.
Jan 18th 2011 at 6:54:57 AM

I shall gather a combined force of Care Bears, My Little Ponies, Mickey Mouse's friends, Winnie the Pooh, and The Residents of Sesame Street, and banish your false happiness back into the Darkness.

I'll gather up my cult and raise not One Great Old One, but all of them. Then I'll direct them to the nearest superpower and watch as the world literally just crumbles.

Spooky.
Jan 18th 2011 at 8:25:41 AM

I already destroyed the nearest superpower's economy. Now you just look like an asshole kicking people when they're down, rather than someone evil and original.

I will unleash a deadly nerve gas on the crowd at Cowboys Stadium during Super Bowl XLV... in the fourth quarter after the two minute warning.

edited 18th Jan '11 8:26:57 AM by SeanMurrayI

Tropers Watching Movies
Bisected8 This is what happens when you're raised by birds from Her Hackette Cave Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
This is what happens when you're raised by birds
Jan 27th 2011 at 9:53:16 AM

I will introduce rugby, thus no one will bother attending a version of it played by a bunch of pansies who need body armour and breaks every few minutes to play.

I will steal all the cookies from the cookie jar and frame the UN for it, thus starting a riot.

If you ask a baker for proof of bread, she shall rise!
KuroFox Forum lurking fox from under a rock
Forum lurking fox
Jan 27th 2011 at 9:57:01 AM

I shall have video proof of you doing it, and will blackmail you to not frame the UN for it, or you will be be severly punished if you do.

I shall create a fearsome monster of such unbelivable horror, it will plug all the sewer systems, disable the internet and steal everyones left shoe!

Sonic hates SOPA
SabresEdge Show an affirming flame from a defense-in-depth
Show an affirming flame
Jan 27th 2011 at 10:22:51 AM

Left-shoe replacement factory is standing by. After all, that's the important threat to global stability. The other two can wait.

I shall summon Cthulhu with a steamboat, two rabbits, a carrot, and the essence of Steam!

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.
mst3kluv Badass Bookworm from British Columbia, Canada
Jan 27th 2011 at 10:25:05 AM

I steal the carrot, therefore making summoning impossible.

I shall take over the world using my cuteness!!

My MSTing liveblog
Jan 27th 2011 at 10:26:57 AM

[up][up]I persuade Gabe Newell to shut Steam down temporarily to put in some new coding. He does it in such a fashion that summoning an unspeakable is nigh impossible.

[up] -impersonates the famous F Zero OVA scene- FALCON GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP! -perishes with her-

I put VERY powerful rocket boosters on the moon to send it hurtling towards the earth, and I put them on tight with no chance of sabotage

edited 27th Jan '11 10:30:55 AM by EarlOfSandvich

I now go by Graf von Tirol.
SabresEdge Show an affirming flame from a defense-in-depth
Show an affirming flame
Jan 27th 2011 at 10:28:58 AM

I acquire the Ocarina of Time and a kid dressed all in green. Your plan shall come to naught, Skull Kid!

I shall go parasailing with an airfoil large enough to stir up hurricanes in its wake!

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

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