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Things 18+ Girls Look For in a Guy/Man/Boy

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cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#51: Jan 16th 2011 at 3:59:02 PM

Yeah, the media doesnt give us any goddammed credit....

myrdschaem Since: Dec, 2010
#52: Jan 16th 2011 at 3:59:21 PM

[up][up]I would hope so.

Also, which kind of guy they are more likely/willing to approach on a certain day is linked to their menstruation cycle.

edited 16th Jan '11 3:59:44 PM by myrdschaem

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#53: Jan 16th 2011 at 3:59:40 PM

I'm kind of an oddity in this department I guess, I get shit from my friends all the time over having standards that are "lame".

What can I say? I like talk and debate, a woman who is intelligent and has a curiosity about the world around her is a requirement for me to be romantically involved. I don't settle because boring women are more hassle than they are worth, I'd just as soon go occupy my own time with hiking and videogames before I'd spend time with someone who bores me.

BalloonFleet MASTER-DEBATER from Chicago, IL, USA Since: Jun, 2010
MASTER-DEBATER
#54: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:00:12 PM

Actually, IIRC from 1st-year psychology, females tend to be a bit more careful who they mate with than males (as in "eggs are expensive sperm are cheap" and all that) therefore females will tend to have a higher variety of traits they select for than males will.

[up]it was from a marriage and family course and the professor had the males post lists and the femals post the list. granted like 80-90% of the class's population was female but haha oh wow.

Also for another way to see this, post that question on an internet forum -_-

I've often seen guys go out with some rather plain-looking girls they met in online communities because they appreciated said girls' personalities. When I see stuff like that, I'm inclined to doubt that guys are as shallow as they're made out to be. o.o

Yes I have done the same (well it was a girl I knew IRL), I did that in the past because the girl was nice/shy/knewwhathehellireferenced etc etc.

edited 16th Jan '11 4:02:20 PM by BalloonFleet

WHASSUP....... ....with lolis!
rmctagg09 The Wanderer from Brooklyn, NY (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
The Wanderer
#55: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:05:28 PM

What can I say? I like talk and debate, a woman who is intelligent and has a curiosity about the world around her is a requirement for me to be romantically involved. I don't settle because boring women are more hassle than they are worth, I'd just as soon go occupy my own time with hiking and videogames before I'd spend time with someone who bores me.

That's lame? What is wrong with your friends?

Hugging a Vanillite will give you frostbite.
BalloonFleet MASTER-DEBATER from Chicago, IL, USA Since: Jun, 2010
MASTER-DEBATER
#56: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:06:32 PM

[up]He's in the military. As in he's an NCO dealing with enlisted soldiers and not an officer so his social situation is different.

edited 16th Jan '11 4:08:43 PM by BalloonFleet

WHASSUP....... ....with lolis!
myrdschaem Since: Dec, 2010
#57: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:08:00 PM

[up]Maybe they feel the need to pic up his slack when it comes to adhering to non-flattering male stereotypes?

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#58: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:20:28 PM

Something like that, it's usually when they point out a girl with a smoking hot body who is dumb as a brick, and start fawning over her. If I know who she is and I've talked with her before, I'll pass judgement with either "She's shallower than a puddle" or "Yeah, she's pretty cool."

The usual response that comes back to me is "Dude, that's not the point, she's fucking hot!"

I think it's because I don't have a massive value on sex as being the end-all and be-all of why I would deign to speak to a female. I'm in the market for a best friend, partner in crime, get-it-right-the-first-time wife sort of woman, not a sex partner for a few months until we get bored of eachother.

Yeah, that's pretty gay of me I guess.

BalloonFleet MASTER-DEBATER from Chicago, IL, USA Since: Jun, 2010
MASTER-DEBATER
#59: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:23:54 PM

The usual response that comes back to me is "Dude, that's not the point, she's fucking hot!"

you shouldve said

"The real qquestion is IS SHE NICE to you" [lol]

WHASSUP....... ....with lolis!
cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#60: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:26:17 PM

[up][up] I agree with everything you said there.

I hate the media controlling us guys, telling us that we shouldn't be "sensitive."

And unsurprisingly, this reminds me of this song:

myrdschaem Since: Dec, 2010
#61: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:26:31 PM

[up][up][up] Personally, I would declare that as intelligent. And consinderate. And a way of getting a lot of plus points.

On the beard thing: You should probably [[bold:not]] make decisions by asking: What could girls want? but rather: What personal appearance would I prefer? If you look goofy with a beard, don't grow one because you heard they like them. Some do, some don't, some decide on the compatility of beard to wearer's face. Some like the scratching, some don't. Most of the other "I heard girls like..." should be handled like that.

Edit: Why did I type bird?!

edited 16th Jan '11 4:27:57 PM by myrdschaem

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#62: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:31:34 PM

^

In the time it takes to tell a woman about that concept they usually are thinking "Damnit he needs to stop talking and start fawning over me more!"

Honestly I can be a rather bad boyfriend too. I like lots of time alone to recharge and wind down, I love video games, and I talk way too much about my job.

myrdschaem Since: Dec, 2010
#63: Jan 16th 2011 at 4:35:24 PM

^Well, bringing that up while flirting of course sounds like boasting but if the sentiment in any way comes accross, I doubt that many would see it as a negative thing.

Also, since we're all humans, forgiving faults is one of the skills for a successful relationship.

Erock Proud Canadian from Toronto Since: Jul, 2009
Proud Canadian
#64: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:08:47 PM

Barkey: "Something like that, it's usually when they point out a girl with a smoking hot body who is dumb as a brick, and start fawning over her. If I know who she is and I've talked with her before, I'll pass judgement with either "She's shallower than a puddle" or "Yeah, she's pretty cool."

The usual response that comes back to me is "Dude, that's not the point, she's fucking hot!""

Have you ever thought that even if she is stupid, she might be nice, thoughtful, and funny? Forget looks, why does intelligence have to be such a turn-off? It's not like it's her choice.

I consider attractiveness and personality before intelligence, even though I'm increidbly smart myself. Then again I'm 15 and haven't had a legit relationship yet.

edited 16th Jan '11 5:10:00 PM by Erock

If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.
myrdschaem Since: Dec, 2010
#65: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:11:08 PM

^I think dumb used in this context was more like zero personality, not nice and so forth...

OOZE Don't feed the plants! from Transsexual,Transylvania Since: Dec, 1969
Don't feed the plants!
#66: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:21:55 PM

I love the Suspiciously Specific Denial of pedophilia in the title.

I'm feeling strangely happy now, contented and serene. Oh don't you see, finally I'll be, somewhere that's green...
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy Since: Jan, 2001
DUMB
#67: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:25:01 PM

Actually, I think that's just because he's worrying about college (as opposed to his present locale, high school).

EDIT I don't know what that word means

edited 16th Jan '11 5:25:21 PM by Tzetze

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
cutewithoutthe Góðberit Norðling Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Star-crossed
Góðberit Norðling
#68: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:26:45 PM

Boy- High School, Guy- wimpier Man, Man- Manly guy.

neoYTPism Since: May, 2010
#69: Jan 16th 2011 at 5:32:17 PM

"I think it's because I don't have a massive value on sex as being the end-all and be-all of why I would deign to speak to a female." - Barkey

Sex nothing, even then unattractiveness might not necessarily be that drastic a drawback. There just needs to be some sexual arousal during sex; if anything being with a plain-looking woman might mean less unwanted arousal is caused. Besides, some would argue that the less physically attractive girls are actually better in bed...

edited 16th Jan '11 5:33:22 PM by neoYTPism

Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#70: Jan 16th 2011 at 6:21:14 PM

^

I've noticed the same, they usually try to make up for not being supermodels by being.. Attentive?

I'm not really into nice girls who aren't terribly smart, they make good friends, but not girlfriends(for me).

They don't have to be knowledgeable, just have a curiosity about life and a lust for knowledge.(lol insert lust joke here)

neoYTPism Since: May, 2010
#71: Jan 16th 2011 at 6:27:53 PM

"I'm not really into nice girls who aren't terribly smart, they make good friends, but not girlfriends(for me)." - Barkey

Meh, I've never had a girlfriend, but to me kindness is a higher priority than intelligence. I'd rather be with a girl who I could be surer was a good person but turned out to be a little on the slow side than be with a girl who I could be surer was smart but turned out to be a horrible person.

Ideally, of course, a combination of intelligence and kindness would be preferable...

tnu1138 Dracula Since: Apr, 2009
Dracula
#72: Jan 16th 2011 at 6:28:16 PM

Girls just want to have rfun.

We must survive, all of us. The blood of a human for me, a cooked bird for you. Where is the difference?
Barkey Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#73: Jan 16th 2011 at 6:37:47 PM

My girlfriend is a bit of a bitch sometimes, not to me, but one of our favorite activities is what we call "People Watching", usually done at the mall or another public place full of people, we privately make sarcastic observations about the people around us. It's good fun.

She's a redhead, so I can't blame her too much, it's in the blood. tongue

BalloonFleet MASTER-DEBATER from Chicago, IL, USA Since: Jun, 2010
MASTER-DEBATER
#74: Jan 16th 2011 at 7:15:53 PM

^^ a 'bit of a bitch'? seems like an understatement given the slippery slope snarking on "weird people in the mall" can turn into. Also sarcasm -_-

I'm not really into nice girls who aren't terribly smart, they make good friends, but not girlfriends(for me).

Not trying to change your preferences, but it's not like you have to engage in politics and whatnot all the time. You don't have to discuss that all the time, relationships are for loving each other etc etc evil grin

I think it's because I don't have a massive value on sex as being the end-all and be-all of why I would deign to speak to a female. .... Yeah, that's pretty gay of me I guess.

Hey, at least your friends don't manipulate dozens of females to think that he loves them and cares for them and tricks them into thinking there are no other girls like that......I have a wrestler acquaintance who does that and it's immoral.....as in his stories could come out of 'I hope they serve beer in hell' level of immoral....actually I don't think the guy who did that manipulated multiple women to the point of saying he'd marry them and buying cheap-but-good-looking marriage rings for that purpose. just bugs me

edited 16th Jan '11 7:23:13 PM by BalloonFleet

WHASSUP....... ....with lolis!
Nika-senpai The Golden Girl from Mitakihara Since: Nov, 2009
The Golden Girl
#75: Jan 16th 2011 at 7:21:44 PM

Gee, I dunno. I speak for myself here, but I look for:

- kindness - intelligence - a sense of humour - empathy - treats me well and is not a jerk.

Looks are secondary. I find my husband incredibly handsome and arousing. And it's partly because he really is just that good looking but also because there's something that clicks between us. :3

It also helps that we have similar interests: anime, video games, movies, martial arts, our taste in music overlaps quite a bit, etc. Honestly, I don't think I could stand being with someone who didn't like those things, or at the very least, didn't mind that I liked those things. Or, a big deal breaker would be if they couldn't appreciate that I like to draw and make up characters in my head. Basically, I'm a giant nerd, deal with it.

Anyhow, every girl is different. If I'm going to generalize a bit, it would be safe to say that most girls would like someone who makes them feel happy, and appreciates them.

Want my advice? My husband was my best friend even before we started dating. I was happy to transition into dating because I felt comfortable and happy with him, because I already knew the kind of person he was. Your Mileage May Vary on this one though because some girls will feel awkward dating a former friend.

Don't think about it too much. Trying to go about finding a [good] girlfriend methodically is precisely what's not going to work. :p Just let it flow, man. If you meet a cute girl, make a move. If she's not interested, move on to someone else.

Shine

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