GAME OVER: PRESS 'R' TO TRY AGAIN

Someone else had hired said Ninja to Assassinate me, and they're paying more than i am.

TNP is a wild Pokemon.

I turn out to be a Farfetch'd, and get shot by a hunter for food.

Based on the EP049 'Dex entry., where it mentions they were implicitly preyed on by humans.

TNP went on 4chan.

You are too nice for 4Chan and get blacklisted by everyone.

I touch a weed in the ground.

(Uh, that's supposed to the The Next Poster, not yourself...)

The weed was a potato mine. SPUDOW!

There's a rake underneath an invisibility cloak lying in the next poster's path.

Stepping on it not only whacks me in the face, but activates a land mine that just so happened to be beneath it. Why under an invisible rake? Hell if I know.

TNP is crossing the street when there are no cars for miles.

I get struck by a meteor crashing into the planet's surface and die from horrific burns.

TNP has had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!!

The floor directly below me collapses from the weight of all the snakes and I fall to my death.

TNP and their friends are the masters of a power driven to the far reaches of the universe, and they have but one desire!

We mistake that for literally driving to the far reaches of the universe, and Reality Ensues.

TNP is walking through a hospital.

Edited by CustardAndPie on Sep 10th 2018 at 3:07:49 AM

I slip on blood, and end up getting a scalpel in my throat.

TNP is fishing.

I accidentally hit myself with the hook, simultaneously drowning and being impaled to death.

TNP is browsing the TV Tropes forums.

The sheer awesomeness of the forum makes you explode.

TNP is a pirate, on a ship!

A storm happens, knocking me off the ship and into the ocean. My pirating days ended as quickly as they began...

TNP gains a sweet-ass mustache by magic.

Edited by CustardAndPie on Sep 9th 2018 at 7:37:54 AM

Unfortunately it's quite literal. I die from getting a point-blank fart directly up my nostrils by my "sweet-ASS mustache".

TNP is practicing their handwriting.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Sep 10th 2018 at 7:51:35 AM

...on an enemy's body. Out of their blood. My crush notices and immediately abandons me, leaving me to literally die of a broken heart.

TNP is hunting for a Non-Standard Game Over in this thread.

I'm so good at it that I somehow manage to cause the universe to implode in the process for being "too meta".

TNP asks TNP to ask TNP to ask TNP to do something innocuous.

Edited by CustardAndPie on Sep 10th 2018 at 3:06:32 AM

My head explodes from trying to figure out which TNP I'm meant to talk to.

TNP is trying to get their toast out with a fork.

Thankfully it was a plastic fork. It still catches fire and so does my shirt and i burn to death.

TNP wishes for immortality from an all powerful genie.

It turns out he was only faking being a genie, and I die after testing my immortality by jumping into the sun... somehow.

TNP is SCP-682.

Okay, have you even read SCP-682’s article? It’s a giant lizard that literally cannot die outside of one test that is both unexplainable and took place in an alternate universe. Your “deaths”, both times I’ve used this, have been things that kill average humans, not immortal eldritch lizards.

Edited by Emperor_Ing on Sep 14th 2018 at 5:34:46 AM

You explode.

TNP wishes for a pecan pie, and does not go overboard in wishing for one.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Sep 14th 2018 at 3:04:06 AM

I get a Pecan Pie in the Face, blinding me long enough for some assassin to take advantage.

The next poster is a guest star on the Mythbusters.

I accidentally mix blur with blur, causing an explosion that kills me and not SCP-682.

TNP is wearing a hat.

The hat has a bomb.

TNP is playing this game, and gives the deaths of SCP-682 as things that kill normal humans, not immortal eldritch lizards.

Every single one of those things kills me, because I am a normal human and not SCP-682.

TNP is watching a movie on Blu Ray.

I get put in the pillories and pelted with produce for breaking the rules of the game. I die after one too many garlic cloves get shoved somewhere unpleasant.

I'm sitting too close to the screen (like Mom always warned me not to do) when lightning strikes, frying the electronics and me. My Profane Last Words cause a second Bolt of Divine Retribution to strike me for overkill.

The next poster has an obnoxious Ear Worm song stuck in their head.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Sep 14th 2018 at 6:15:11 AM

I blow my brains out to get the ear-worm out.

TNP is Missing No