Overpriced energy drinks aside, I suffer a heart attack from a caffeine overdose. Due to having wasted the money on overpriced energy drinks, I can't afford the operation to save my life and get dumped in the hallway and die.
TNP is in a Showdown at High Noon
My opponent cheats and draws his gun early. I am shot to death by about 900 million of his guys who were hiding in the saloon, reducing my body to a fine soup.
TNP is pulling a ding dong ditch.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”I pulled it on the house of a serial killer, and he shortly catches up to me.
TNP is a Pokemon trainer.
I get brutally mauled to death by a rivals Pokemon.
TNP is forced to commit an act of terrorism or there loved ones will die.
look at this mom i have a normal signature are you proud of me now mom?I agree to do the act of terrorism but I accidentally detonate the bomb at home, killing me and my loved ones.
TNP is buying new running shoes.
The shoes I bought were later recalled due to the rubber they were made with turning into a contact poison when mixed with sweat, for obvious reasons I don't live long enough to learn this.
TNP is on a criminal rampage in a Giant Mecha
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.The mecha malfunctions and explodes. It was only a prototype, after all. At least I have my backup mecha. I enter in the escape pod and continue the rampage... only to encounter the army when I get back. I unleash every single bullet, missile, and laser on the army. They have a giant mecha of their own, and I crash my mecha into it. I hijack the army's mecha, only to realize that I don't know the controls. The mecha stumbles and falls down, killing me in the explosion.
TNP is a Master participant of a Holy Grail War. (You don't have to list your Servant for this, but it'd be interesting.)
Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Oct 25th 2020 at 2:41:18 AM
...and then the batteries run out. The army makes short work of my mecha when its standing still and a squadron of B-52 bombers begin their final approach...
Alas, I never figure out the rules in time. And the berserker in front of me doesn't explain. I don't have an anime high schooler's luck and get pasted in the first fight.
TNP is the captain of a space exploration vehicle.
Edited by CenturyEye on Oct 25th 2020 at 2:37:37 AM
Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our livesI, having no qualifications, am quickly subject to a mutiny. The crew decides that it is best to throw me out of the airlock so I won't take up resources.
- - - -
TNP works in an Apple store.
So, let's hang an anchor from the sun... also my TumblrI am manned at the doors... during the launch of the newest iPhone. I shortly get trampled to death by the resulting stampede.
TNP is making obscure references.
Aton of Frustrated tropers beat me up because the references are so obscure.
TNP is tasked a job that requires stealth, espionage, and manipulation tactics.
look at this mom i have a normal signature are you proud of me now mom?I fall over because I'm clumsy as heck and get shot to death.
- - - -
TNP works as a hotel receptionist.
So, let's hang an anchor from the sun... also my TumblrIs shot by a foreign guy after I misunderstand his language and accidentally insult his entire family.
TNP gives out free hugs.
Kumatora needs to be appreciated more. Appreciate her.I eat some food and choke.
TNP just did a murder.
Ok bitch it's Weezer and it's WeezyThey're gonna fry me this morning! fry me this morning! (aka I get sent to the electric chair).
TNP is handing food to trick and treaters.
Edited by Superjohn on Oct 26th 2020 at 11:38:16 AM
"I think... we just hit the jackpot."One of the kids is asymptomatic for COVID. I catch it and die.
TNP is watching football in a bar.
So, let's hang an anchor from the sun... also my TumblrI get beaten up by a bunch of raging drunkards for supporting the wrong team
TNP is chilling at a restaurant A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!
I'm "chilling" in the sense that I've been locked in the freezer to die of hypothermia.
The next poster is on a submarine.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.I attempted a coup, and get shoved into a missile tub and shot into the ocean.
TNP is at a abandoned Toys R Us store.
"I think... we just hit the jackpot."It's abandoned because it was condemned for No OSHA Compliance. The aisle shelves fall over on top of me and crush me to death.
The next poster is at the dentist.
If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.The dental work goes fine. But when I get home, my roommate has a covid party, and I stab everyone to death. I succumb to the virus in prison.
The next poster cannot die. Or can they?
Edited by SkyCat32 on Oct 26th 2020 at 4:08:25 AM
Rawr.I survive until the heat death of the universe when there is only perpetual darkness. Alternatively, I survive until the Big Crunch, where my body is crunched into the universal singularity to become the new universe created by a new Big Bang.
TNP gets a JoJo Stand.
Oops.
Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Oct 26th 2020 at 1:19:01 AM
A last stand, specifically. My position is quickly overrun.
The next poster is fixing a fence.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
A group of angry soccer hooligans think I made the movie and beat me to death.
The next poster drank a bunch of 5-Hour Energy drinks.
I talk real good 'cuz I'm smart and stuff.