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I suck at accepting constructive criticism of my writing

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feotakahari Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer from Looking out at the city Since: Sep, 2009
Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer
#1: Dec 3rd 2010 at 11:26:25 AM

Thread title, really. When I thought I was an artistic genius, I reacted angrily to any criticism, thinking the critic was stupid for not understanding my writing (when I should have been thinking about how to make my writing make sense.) Now that I'm more aware of my weaknesses, I go into despair and start thinking that I'm a horrible writer and I'll never get better. Either way, I react like I'm being beaten with sticks. But they say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so: who else here has difficulty with criticism? How do you handle (or not handle) it?

Edit: Don't know if you read this section, Kaschei, but if you're wondering why I reacted so well to the changes you suggested in my stories: I really didn't, comparative to the scale of the changes. I calmed myself down just enough to be cheerful when PMing you, and I made most of the changes, but I did feel more crushed than I should have, especially since a lot of what you wanted to change was minor.

edited 3rd Dec '10 11:29:04 AM by feotakahari

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful
mmysqueeant I'm A Dirty Cowboy from Essairrrrcks Since: Oct, 2010
I'm A Dirty Cowboy
#2: Dec 3rd 2010 at 11:37:38 AM

Sometimes 'constructive' criticism requires a total demolition of and restructuring of your work. Often, it's a criticism of your individual 'voice'. In these cases, it's ultimately not as constructive to follow the advice of constructive critics as taking a less drastic route would be.

I love criticism, but like you I tend to react with despair when people do make criticisms. I keep going and make the changes, though.

Then again, I also react badly to praise — either with total disbelief and denial, or just handling it so badly I outright insult the complimenter by mistake.

Remember that they're criticising the work and not you. By making constructive criticism they're implicitly suggesting they believe you have the talent to write something better than what you've already done — that has to be good, right?

Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#3: Dec 3rd 2010 at 12:33:29 PM

I don't really have this problem unless it isn't actually constructive in a way I want it to be, but a lot of the time when I do get criticism on something I am satisfied with I feel kind of annoyed. I don't go into despair or think i'm a genius or some shit like that though.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
ShayGuy Since: Jan, 2001
#4: Dec 3rd 2010 at 2:02:25 PM

I have this problem to the point that I haven't shown any fiction writing to anyone for years, or completed enough that I could post anything, for fear of what I might be told about it. Not fear of any particular criticism, really. Or even rude criticism. Just a nebulous fear.

Remember that they're criticising the work and not you.

That's kind of obvious. It has also never done me any good as advice. The distress and fear remain.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#5: Dec 3rd 2010 at 2:06:11 PM

I tend to be the type that makes it especially hard for others to swallow critique. So, feel free to blame me for this sort of thing.

And, because the world likes to fuck with you, here is MY problem with getting criticism

edited 3rd Dec '10 2:08:42 PM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
Edmania o hai from under a pile of erasers Since: Apr, 2010
o hai
#6: Dec 3rd 2010 at 3:40:04 PM

I am also annoyed by vague general comments like "It isn't very good", "It isn't original", etc. which hardly tell you which part to actually work on. Oh, and straight up insults that don't do anything but discourage you.

If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
mmysqueeant I'm A Dirty Cowboy from Essairrrrcks Since: Oct, 2010
I'm A Dirty Cowboy
#7: Dec 3rd 2010 at 3:40:31 PM

[up][up] I know what you mean about the nebulous 'fear', I think. I power thru it with energy drink, usually.

I certainly find some kinds of praise (especially the type that categorises my work as something I never thought it was, especially 'difficult' or even worse from the other side, 'quirky') just as morale-breaking as criticisms.

ACDrawings YOSH! from MY PERSONAL REALITY Since: Jan, 2001
YOSH!
#8: Dec 3rd 2010 at 3:48:36 PM

I have the same problem of getting nobody to read my crud. However I no longer have that issue, thank you very much for the critique, AHR.

Also, in terms of accepting criticism, it's simple to simply accept it. I beleive the problem was that you thought you were good, you do not go into the arts with that train of thought, you always go into the arts know there are too many people superior to you and the criticism is instrumental to your growth to be as good a the people who you should know are vastly superior to you and probably always will be better to you.

Their level is like an asymptote. You will always get better but never approach that level but you want to get as close to there as possible.

edited 3rd Dec '10 3:49:18 PM by ACDrawings

When All Else Fails, you have fun and flirt wit da ladies, dats da Drawings way!
Ronka87 Since: Jun, 2009
#9: Dec 3rd 2010 at 3:51:42 PM

Develop a thicker skin. If you want to show off your work, you have to accept that some people will hate it and won't be afraid to tell you. Suck it up and move on.

For con crit specifically, read the criticism thoughtfully and calmly. If you have to step away from the situation and take a walk/read a book/drink some water to calm down, do it. Then sift through what you think is good advice and bad advice. Keep the good, trash the bad, and don't agonize over it.

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#10: Dec 3rd 2010 at 3:51:52 PM

[up][up]...:D I understood the metaphor.

I KNOW MATHZ I AM MULTI TALENTED RENAISSANCE PERSON

edited 3rd Dec '10 3:52:00 PM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
colbertimposter Since: Dec, 1969
#11: Dec 5th 2010 at 2:21:47 PM

I've found that what helps the most is having someone whom you're certain will always love and support you. When I didn't have this, I responded to criticism metaphorically and viscerally.

I just wish I had tips to offer for finding someone like that.

Of course there are a lot of total douchebags out there whose ideas about what comprises quality criticism exactly parallel my thoughts on what I'd say to Osama bin Ladin if I got the chance. Those are the real sociopaths who need to be locked up (by which I mean the douchebags).

JewelyJ from A state in the USA Since: Jul, 2009
#12: Dec 5th 2010 at 2:39:05 PM

I am also annoyed by vague general comments like "It isn't very good", "It isn't original", etc. which hardly tell you which part to actually work on. Oh, and straight up insults that don't do anything but discourage you.

Yes exactly. Telling me I suck does not do anything for me. Neither does discouraging me from writing. Ain't going to happen bro.

^Um I dunno if I'd call them sociopaths. More like extremely negative and unpleasant people.

edited 5th Dec '10 2:42:08 PM by JewelyJ

KingTyrantLizard E is for Extinction! from Pfft, like I would tell. Since: Nov, 2010
E is for Extinction!
#13: Dec 5th 2010 at 5:44:11 PM

You simply aren't going to get constructive criticism on the internet. All you're going to hear is "lol wtf is dis shit go fuk urself dood."

Grr. Argh.
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#14: Dec 5th 2010 at 5:47:01 PM

That's untrue. It's been given before on the internet, and it will be given again.

edited 5th Dec '10 6:55:21 PM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
ACDrawings YOSH! from MY PERSONAL REALITY Since: Jan, 2001
YOSH!
#15: Dec 5th 2010 at 6:54:32 PM

@ Tyrant:You can get criticism if you find the right people. It'll just be few and far in between.

edited 5th Dec '10 6:55:02 PM by ACDrawings

When All Else Fails, you have fun and flirt wit da ladies, dats da Drawings way!
drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
#16: Dec 5th 2010 at 8:10:15 PM

I like it when people tear my writing to pieces. It gives me more impetuous to re-assemble it in a better way.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
KingTyrantLizard E is for Extinction! from Pfft, like I would tell. Since: Nov, 2010
E is for Extinction!
#17: Dec 5th 2010 at 9:37:20 PM

Guys, I was mostly joking. In fact, the comments I get on the stuff I post online is actually overwhelmingly positive.

But, you know, internet. Mostly illiterate fucknuts screaming at each other.

Grr. Argh.
RalphCrown Short Hair from Next Door to Nowhere Since: Oct, 2010
Short Hair
#18: Dec 6th 2010 at 9:08:21 AM

First step in reading criticism of anything: filter out the opinion. Most of a critique is based on the writer's viewpoint, on how he/she reacts to your type of work, and on how he/she perceives the creative process. An opinion like "I hated character X" doesn't tell you anything about your work, only how the writer reacted to it.

If the critique talks about technical stuff, pay more attention. "I hated character X because he stepped out of character" tells you something.

If the critique points out gaffes, well, that's one reason you want criticism.

You can take a critique as a personal attack, but that doesn't help you as a writer. Take the constructive remarks and forget the rest.

Under World. It rocks!
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#19: Dec 6th 2010 at 1:54:14 PM

It's not necessarily easy, though. Even many professional writers are bad about it.

A brighter future for a darker age.
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#20: Dec 6th 2010 at 1:55:05 PM

It's why critics tend to be Butt-Monkey s of any artistic story.

edited 6th Dec '10 1:56:20 PM by MrAHR

Read my stories!
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#21: Dec 6th 2010 at 2:58:18 PM

I do wonder how often writers model the looks/mannerisms of the villain on their "favorite" critics?

A brighter future for a darker age.
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#22: Dec 6th 2010 at 3:11:51 PM

Well, Shyamalan certainly did..and...er...well...Christian Weston Chandler...

Read my stories!
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#23: Dec 6th 2010 at 3:13:24 PM

But those were really obvious — I'm wondering how often it's more subtle.

Shyamalan should be ashamed that he did something CWC-level, though.

A brighter future for a darker age.
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#24: Dec 6th 2010 at 3:14:04 PM

Seltzer and Frie—

I should stop typing now.

Read my stories!
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001
Nemesis
#25: Dec 6th 2010 at 4:12:57 PM

Not familiar with that, probably fortunately grin

A brighter future for a darker age.

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