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Dumb things you did in video games as a kid.

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TheBigSock what is this i dont even from Israel
what is this i dont even
Sep 4th 2010 at 10:29:14 AM

I would try to play the Starcraft single player the Command and Conquer way. You know how LONG it takes to harvest enough resources for constructing 40 siege tanks?!

ShirowShirow Be creative from Land of maple syrup Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
Be creative
Sep 4th 2010 at 10:58:31 AM

Do you remember the first kill you ever got in a first person shooter? I mean, the first one of all time. Maybe not those DOOM games because they're so far removed from the shooters we play today... But your first, honest to god kill as you looked down the sights of your poorly rendered 3D gunbarrel for the first time. Was it an enemy Space Marine from Quake? Maybe if your a part of the younger set it was a little harmless grunt from Halo? But it probably doesn't matter, because after the thousands upon thousands of mooks you've slaughtered, they will always start running together.

I remember mine.

The year was... Uh... A few years ago. I was watching my cousin play GoldenEye for the first time on that shiny new N64 he had gotten for christmas... Or his Birthday... Or something. It was crazy. I was totally blown away by the fact that you where actually shooting enemy soldiers instead of mutants or aliens or demons or whatever. I needed to play it. So, after my constant nagging, he finally found a "Safe" spot inside a little bunker after he had "Cleared out all the enemies". He handed the controller to me. I still just had a Sega Genesis at the time, so this big bulky thing felt so alien in my hands. There was this JOYSTICK on it and everything. And just as he was about to start to explain the controls to me... He came in.

Now i can't remember what this guy looked like. Some random henchman that was cruising around Dam like he owned the place. They're all just masses of polygons to us now, right? But when i played the game this guy was freaking terrifying. I tried switching weapons. I haphazardly picked something called an "Assault rifle". What's an assault rifle, i asked myself? Who cares! I need a gun! I need a gun right now!

So there i was surrounded by concrete walls. I held the gun in my hand, but Mr. Randomook was blocking the only exit. He fired at me. I saw those distinctive blue and red bars appear on the sides of my screen. "What do i do? What do i do!?" i asked aloud. "Shoot him! Just shoot him!" the people around me said. Mr. Randomook shot me again, and what i would later call a health bar lost anoether notch.

Now, today if i was in the same situation i could do any number of things. As a more experienced player, in a more advanced game, that mook could have died in any number of ways. I'd probably just choke my aim up and put a few rounds in his skull. Maybe i'd quickly switch to my shotgun and blow him out the door. Maybe if it where Call of Duty i'd stick my knife into him, or ninja-kick him if it where F.E.A.R.

But this was anoether time, anoether game. So what did i do? I pulled down on the fire button like i was holding on for dear life and spun around 360 degrees repeatedly and emptied my entire clip into all the walls around me. I was absolutely stunned by the fact that the bullet holes appeared, but my euphoria was short lived as my nemesis was still pumping bullets into me. So i reloaded and did it again this time finishing off Mr.Randomook.

My cousin, other cousin and cousin's friend all looked at me in stunned silence for about a full minute before bursting into laughter.

I actually went into a cold sweat over that. I think i had an adrenaline rush. My heart was pounding like a drum. I needed to do that again. Mr.Randomook truly was the first of many.

edited 4th Sep '10 8:24:39 PM by ShirowShirow

He'd want you do be doing something awesome right now.
Sep 4th 2010 at 11:47:47 AM

Running off to fight Hooktail without the FX R badge... repeatedly...

I think I did that...and beat him on my first attempt.

The man was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the best at both killing and not killing - Stranger
Sep 4th 2010 at 11:56:44 AM

Shirow Shirow, that post was freakin' epic. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Sep 4th 2010 at 12:25:06 PM

Whenever I saw an item I liked in an RPG, I'd pawn off everything I owned to pay for it, usually to find out that it wasn't that cool. The only time this worked to my advantage was in FF 10, when I did it to buy the Yojimbo aeon.

M0therBrain Target acquired. from Tourian
Target acquired.
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:28:49 PM

Spamming Growth in Pokemon and then mistakenly believing it would power up Body Slam. Needless to say, my Ivysaurus Rex got pwn'd pretty quickly by my sister's Vulpix. ;N;

YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER. WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME, ON WHORE ISLAND?!
GorramBats from Bat Country
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:30:31 PM

From Banjo Kazooie alone:

1) Freaking out when I saw Clanker for the first time and refusing to play the game for about a month, due to fear.

2) Freaking out after failing to get to the end of that maze in that pyramid and refusing to play the game for about a month, due to fear.

3) Spending ages getting all the information about Gruntilda from her sister for the quiz, only to discover that that really wasn't necessary.

Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL SEX.
M0therBrain Target acquired. from Tourian
Target acquired.
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:36:48 PM

^ This. Especially #3...I've lost count at how many times I pestered Brentilda for useless information.

In Banjo-Tooie, I kept glitching Kazooie into Atlantis. It was fun, but I always had to save and quit afterwards because she'd get stuck to the ceiling. x) Also, 3 words. CANARY FREAKING MARY. I always tried button mashing, but it turns out she's a rubber-band AI.../sob

edited 4th Sep '10 12:37:42 PM by M0therBrain

YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER. WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME, ON WHORE ISLAND?!
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:37:07 PM

^^ Heh. I used to get scared by the stupidest things in games as a kid too. After I first encountered redeads in OOC I practically went on a video game hiatus. I'd literally put a game into the console and turn it off immediately if I thought something mildly frightening was about to happen.

edited 4th Sep '10 12:37:18 PM by randomtropeloser

GorramBats from Bat Country
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:40:42 PM

I think I once spent an entire day trying to beat the running guy from Oo T.

I also used Ghost Pokemon against Sabrina on several occasions because that's how it worked on the tv show, even though I'd get creamed every time.

Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL SEX.
Glowsquid gets mad about videogames from Alien Town
gets mad about videogames
Sep 4th 2010 at 12:43:05 PM

W Hen I was like... 6-7 years old, I got Super Metroid and promptly sold it because I couldn't get past the noob bridge.

edited 4th Sep '10 12:43:45 PM by Glowsquid

Sep 4th 2010 at 2:53:05 PM

On my first playthrough of Pokemon Red, I deleted charizard's Flamethrower for Fire Spin. :<

Polarity Nightmare Fetishist from Caracas, Venezuela Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Sep 4th 2010 at 4:43:08 PM

Oh I rember various things:

  1. 1: In Luigis Mansion, I would always replay the first area, for MONTHS, just beacause the 2nd area "was too hard"

  2. 2: In Melee, I would NEV Er use the A button attacks, cause I thougth they were weak. (cue me getting owned by my cousins.)

  3. 3: In the Thousand year door (I was ten then, BUT it was my first RPG) I would use my level up to only up my hp stats.

  4. 4: I would never pass Rouge's secong stage in sonic adventure 2 battle because the invinsible robot scared me.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
SgtRicko from Guam, USA Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
Sep 6th 2010 at 7:30:43 AM

The first time I ever played Jolly Roger Bay from Super Mario 64. Oh man, the memories on that one. I actually loved water levels back then, and wasn't too frightened by the deep diving sections in the first Turok game, which is saying something since those cave leapers in the game could swim.

It started when I got the mission to raise the sunken ship from the bottom of the bay. I didn't know how deep the lake was, so I just started swimming toward the area... only to look down and realize how godamned deep down it was. It took me about a full day's worth of trying to muster up the courage to dive down, only to chicken out as soon as I started. And when I finally did get to the bottom, I thought to myself "OK, now I gotta find a way inside before I run out of -OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING IN IT'S WINDOW!?!?!?!" I screamed out loud, dropped the controller, and Mario ended up drowning. Only got the courage to try again when a friend at school told me how to coax the giant eel (I think it's name was Unagi) out and get inside the ship.

Hell, I'm STILL scared of swimming to the bottom of the lake because of the Eel!

Would you believe I never fully watched the original Indiana Jones trilogy? I gotta correct that someday.
Desertopa Not Actually Indie
Not Actually Indie
Sep 6th 2010 at 8:18:46 AM

I think I got past most of my dumb player tendencies when I was really young, and thus don't remember them, but one particular case stands out.

In the strategy game Brigandine, you control territory stretching across a significant portion of a continent. From the beginning of the game, your most distant provinces from each other are several territories apart.

I played that game for nearly a year (understandably without winning) before I realized that you could move your troops more than one territory per turn.

You can only attack enemy territories adjacent to ones you have troops in, when your troops were already there from the beginning of the turn, but you can move your troops between any provinces you own (as long as they're not cut off from each other) in a single turn. On one occasion I spent about ten turns moving my strongest troops from one frontier to another. A competent player might conquer another country in ten turns, and I spent it waiting for my troops to get from one location to another.

Also, I sent a ridiculous proportion of my knights out on quests, even though my limited playing style meant that the things they were bringing back didn't do me much good, and I valued my knights almost entirely on the basis of their physical stats, rather than their rune power (which determines how many monsters can accompany them into battle, and is generally much more important, especially once you build up some strong monsters.) Also I never noticed that the knights who start at low levels frequently have the best stat and rune power growth, and just avoided using them.

I was pretty sucky at that game.

edited 6th Sep '10 8:27:30 AM by Desertopa

...eventually, we will reach a maximum entropy state where nobody has their own socks or underwear, or knows who to ask to get them back.
Emptyeye R Lee Ermey Looks At YOU
R Lee Ermey Looks At YOU
Sep 6th 2010 at 8:39:34 AM

One that's simultaneously dumb and a Crowning Momentof Awesome for my little brother.

We rented NHLPA '93 in...well, about 1993. My brother was about 4 years old at this point, I was 8 or 9. Anyway, my brother plays a game against the computer and wins 4-0. Not a huge feat by itself, even for a 4-year-old; the game's AI was vulnerable to certain tricks that you could exploit.

The dumb/awesome part: He won 4-0...taking zero shots on goal, officially. He somehow managed to pass the puck into the opposing net 4 times.

He's gotten a lot better at sports games since then. :)

Stormtroper from Little Venice Relationship Status: I-It's not like I like you, or anything!
Sep 6th 2010 at 11:35:11 AM

I would try to play the Starcraft single player the Command and Conquer way. You know how LONG it takes to harvest enough resources for constructing 40 siege tanks?!

Replace Siege tanks with Goliaths, Ultralisks and Carriers, adjust the number and you've got me.

And that's how I ended up in the wardrobe. It Just Bugs Me!
Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest
NOT THE BEES
Sep 6th 2010 at 1:20:11 PM

The very first time I played Mario 64 at the in-store demo, I didn't know what the analog stick was and tried to use the D-pad, but while grabbing the controller I accidentally bumped the stick forward and pushed Mario in the water.

I drowned sad

WillyFourEyes ...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy from High Above the Mucky-Muck
...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy
Sep 7th 2010 at 8:58:41 AM

@Emptyeye: That's funny on so many levels. [lol]

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse." - Jesus "Soos" Alzamirano Ramirez, Gravity Falls
toiletbomber 納豆 post-processor from Nowhere in Everywhere
納豆 post-processor
Sep 7th 2010 at 4:48:45 PM

In the early '90s, as a kid, I was really into flight simulators (still am...), but not actually playing them properly. I did the usual crashing and shooting stuff, whatever, but in Microprose F-117A Stealth Fighter I got the bright idea to flip the plane over and eject upside down. Pretty spectacular given the computer itself crashed.

edited 7th Sep '10 4:49:27 PM by toiletbomber

americanbadass Banned from [CENSORED]
Banned
Sep 7th 2010 at 7:25:43 PM

Does it have to be as a kid?

[[User Banned]]_ My Pm box ix still open though, I think?
GorramBats from Bat Country
Sep 8th 2010 at 3:39:41 AM

Diddy Kong Racing: Trying to collect 3 magnet balloons to get the strongest magnet power-up. This usually cost me a few places because a) the magnet balloons tended to be out of the way and b) the magnet is bloody useless.

Paper Mario: In the final battle against Bowser, swapping out my partners repeatedly so that they all could have a crack at him. Without the badge that lets you swap and attack in the same turn. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL SEX.
SweetMadness Everything's going to be okay!
Everything's going to be okay!
Sep 8th 2010 at 1:57:11 PM

Looking back on my old Pokemon playthroughs, I realized that I was an idiot with the movesets I used for my party members.

I had a Hitmonlee and taught it Metronome. METRONOME, seriously what was I thinking? (although that did lead to one funny moment when it used Fly against the Elite Four. xD )

Also, I never ever used any sort of status-affecting moves whatsoever. If it didn't dish out direct damage to my opponent, poof! I got rid of it.

Corgis are a Welsh bread. I'm delicious.
Clarste One Winged Egret Relationship Status: Non-Canon
One Winged Egret
Sep 8th 2010 at 9:59:36 PM

This topic makes me feel old.

For me... I guess it was playing Mega Man 3 and not realizing I could slide. This made some of the stages unbeatable, but I didn't even realize that they were supposed to be beatable. I was absolutely shocked the first time I encountered a boss. I guess i just assumed it was an exploration game or something.

Sep 8th 2010 at 10:21:02 PM

In Super Mario 64, there's a level called "Bowser In The Fire Sea," right? Anyway right before you start the level, Bowser says something along the lines of "I'll take all of your stars."

So, no one was ever allowed to play that level.

She's playing with fire! He's not ready for Nibbly Pig!

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