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Misquoting Historical Figures for Fun and Profit, Mostly Fun

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TolkienOtaku Having a good time! from Utah Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#1227: Sep 20th 2017 at 1:09:48 PM

"Wait, stop the car, I need to grab the map" -Franz Ferdinand's not-so-famous second-to-last words.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
SantosLHalper Since: Aug, 2009
#1228: Oct 15th 2017 at 7:42:11 PM


This post was thumped by the Stick of Post Thumping

n3rd_d4sh Since: Oct, 2014 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
#1229: Oct 15th 2017 at 8:48:22 PM

"brb guys someone at the door lol" - Osama Bin Laden, Last Words

CodyTheHeadlessBoy The Great One from Parts Unknown Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
The Great One
#1230: Oct 16th 2017 at 6:18:45 PM

"To be the man, you gotta beat the man. WOOOOOOO!"- Benjamin Disraeli

"If everybody is thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking"- George S. Patton
Teemo from Nottingham, UK (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: In another castle
#1231: Jan 3rd 2018 at 7:44:15 PM

"Black humor is like food. Not everybody gets it".-Joseph Stalin

Gaon Smoking Snake from Grim Up North Since: Jun, 2012 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
#1232: Jan 4th 2018 at 10:07:48 AM

[up] Jesusevil grin

"You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby! You're gonna dieeee!"

- Ho Chin Minh's official message to American troops in Vietnam c. 1967.

edited 4th Jan '18 10:07:57 AM by Gaon

"All you Fascists bound to lose."
AlityrosThePhilosopher from Over There Since: Jan, 2018
#1233: Jan 15th 2018 at 3:56:09 AM

“Vyatcheslav Mikhailovitch, please transmit this cyphered message to the German ambassador. It contains the names of several of our spies who keep blathering about an imminent Nazi attack.
Tell him we intend to keep this cordial relationship of mutual trust, along with conveying my respects to the Führer.”

Stalin to Molotov, 1941

Just as my freedom ends where yours begins my tolerance of you ends where your intolerance toward me begins. As told by an old friend
AlityrosThePhilosopher from Over There Since: Jan, 2018
#1234: Jan 16th 2018 at 5:27:37 AM

“Go ahead now and ask who just died and made me Emperor.” - Meiji to the assembled daimyo of Choshu, Satsuma, and elsewhere, ca 1869

Ana Baghdadi !” - George W Bush, upon bare-handedly toppling Saddam Hussain’s statue down Firdaus Square, 2003

edited 16th Jan '18 6:00:48 AM by AlityrosThePhilosopher

Just as my freedom ends where yours begins my tolerance of you ends where your intolerance toward me begins. As told by an old friend
thevideogameempire Since: May, 2015
#1235: Apr 8th 2018 at 7:00:06 PM

"I AM the senate!" -Mitch Mc Connell

edited 8th Apr '18 7:05:30 PM by thevideogameempire

TropesForever God forbid women do anything from wait where is she Since: Sep, 2016 Relationship Status: I wanna be your dog
God forbid women do anything
#1236: Apr 8th 2018 at 11:08:59 PM

"If you wanna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right." — Kenny Rogers

thebeatles.com/careers
thevideogameempire Since: May, 2015
#1237: May 12th 2018 at 6:43:51 PM

"I am the walrus" - Vladimir Lenin

"The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation." - John Lennon

edited 12th May '18 6:44:07 PM by thevideogameempire

AlityrosThePhilosopher from Over There Since: Jan, 2018
#1238: Jun 15th 2018 at 4:56:52 PM

“Look at my office door behind you: does it say ‘divorce’ lawyer?
’Thought so.
Now let that door show you the way out.”

Gandhi to Nehru, Jinnah, and Mountbatten, about Partition, 1946

edited 15th Jun '18 5:08:31 PM by AlityrosThePhilosopher

Just as my freedom ends where yours begins my tolerance of you ends where your intolerance toward me begins. As told by an old friend
AlityrosThePhilosopher from Over There Since: Jan, 2018
#1239: Jun 15th 2018 at 4:58:25 PM

“You do brevity, and let me provide the soul of wit.”

Winston Churchill to the War Cabinet, demanding that papers be concise and to the point, 1940

Just as my freedom ends where yours begins my tolerance of you ends where your intolerance toward me begins. As told by an old friend
AlityrosThePhilosopher from Over There Since: Jan, 2018
#1240: Jun 15th 2018 at 5:03:42 PM

Nique la Mérique ! That’s French for #MAGA, says Melania.
I got the best teachers.”

Donald Trump to trade representatives from Quebec, circa 2019

Just as my freedom ends where yours begins my tolerance of you ends where your intolerance toward me begins. As told by an old friend
WillyFourEyes from [Hyperlink blocked] (Troper Sage) Relationship Status: Abstaining
#1241: Oct 14th 2019 at 5:13:19 PM

"Fuck all these limp-dick lawyers and chickenshit bureaucrats. Fuck this 24-hour Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit! Fuck American pride! Fuck the media! FUCK ALL OF IT!" - George W. Bush, one week before the launch of Twitter

"It ain't about whether you win or lose, unless you got money on the game, because...damn. That's your money, son."
WilliamRadarStorm my current job from News Station NT Since: Oct, 2013 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
my current job
#1242: Feb 18th 2020 at 10:43:40 PM

"Would it kill you to pay once?!" -Anon, to Jesus.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Teemo from Nottingham, UK (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: In another castle
#1243: Feb 29th 2020 at 7:29:49 PM

"I've seen the Bloomberg Plan, you know what it is? It's a forty year old virgin, wearing beige pajamas, drinking a banana-brocoli milkshake and singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer wiener". It's just sad."-President Trump

ChicoTheParakeet Since: Oct, 2019 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#1244: Mar 2nd 2020 at 11:01:38 PM

I found out "...arrow to the knee." is not the actual quote.

Smasher from The 1830's, but without the racists (Don’t ask) Relationship Status: The best thing that ever happened to a bum like me
#1245: Mar 29th 2020 at 12:22:26 PM

"There will not be another debate because after the previous debate, Biden and Sanders were arguing over who had the better pet dodo bird." -Official Statement from the Democratic convention.

Spottedleaf Fit check for my napalm era! (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Fit check for my napalm era!
#1246: Mar 30th 2020 at 5:30:08 AM

"I like big butts and I cannot lie." -Abraham Lincoln

>^owo^<
BackSet1 I <3 Zinnia from I'm sure you'd love to know that, wouldn't you? (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I <3 Zinnia
#1247: Jun 5th 2020 at 5:27:51 AM

"The book was better." -Abraham Lincoln

(Yeah, yeah, low hanging fruit I know).

Read Pokemon Ultimate Emerald
Smasher from The 1830's, but without the racists (Don’t ask) Relationship Status: The best thing that ever happened to a bum like me
#1248: Jun 5th 2020 at 10:20:21 AM

"All I wanted was a friend!" -Qasem Soleimani.

BackSet1 I <3 Zinnia from I'm sure you'd love to know that, wouldn't you? (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I <3 Zinnia
#1249: Jun 5th 2020 at 11:23:24 AM

"The gun's not loaded and I'll prove it." -Adolf "genocide is the logical solution to not getting into art school" Hitler

Read Pokemon Ultimate Emerald
Smasher from The 1830's, but without the racists (Don’t ask) Relationship Status: The best thing that ever happened to a bum like me
#1250: Jun 20th 2020 at 10:40:28 AM

"Sorry guys, but you come over to play D&D so late mom is forcing me to make you pay to sleep here. (Though I could make a business out of this...)"

-Conrad Hilton


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