The cursed dice event from Classic Battletech, where after losing the remainder of the company, a single Wasp goes on to through-armor critical hit three Clan heavies, winning the game.
My opponent took the first one, a Mad Cat Delta taking a through-armor triple engine critical from a medium laser, in good grace; he'd been lucky up to then. The second, a Linebacker of some sort taking the same triple-engine through-armor critical from a single SRM hit, he wasn't happy about it. When the Nova Cat took a through-armor triple engine critical from a medium laser the next turn, there was a good deal of cursing and he swept the minis to the floor and threw the dice in the trash.
Nous restons ici.
Reminds me of the duel of honour my group was called out to by some Duke who liked to lick Katherine's boots a few sessions ago. Two Lances vs two Lances, three players, rest NP Cs. So we all basically pair off against a single opponent, more or less by pure chance, making this sort of a mass dueling event. Our entire group is taking heavy damage, our commander has internal structure hanging out of every hit location, but we're giving more than we're taking by and by.
Then our NPC in an outdated Assault 'mech finally closes to range with his opponent — Atlas with Adamantine armour, mace, full bells and whistles. He stops, pops off a few medium lasers with absolutely no effect, then fires off an AC/5, gets a through-armour hit on the center torso, rolls 12 for crits, then proceeds to crit the engine three times. K.O.
The game also included me ripping apart a Barghest without killing it — by the end, it had absolutely no armour and less than ten internal structure on all sections, but I just wasn't rolling any criticals. Or even repeat hit locations.
When you remember that we are all mad, all questions disappear and life stands explained.THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF THORAZ RUGDUMPH, CENTIPEDE JESUS!
While walking through the jungle of his homeland, his party was attacked by a viscous Fire-Elemental T-Rex! He did not panic, however, but was unable to use Diplomacy or Handle Animal to calm it down. He then proceeded to Awaken it, leaving us with a Neutral Good T-Rex who got a level in Druid in the process. Knowing we can't take it with us on the ship, we sent it back to the main settlement of the island.
Now, a few weeks later, we were done hunting for one of the Mac Guffins. We come back to find out there's a wedding.... between Thoraz's bastard son and the female T-Rex.
...and that's terrible.I killed an NPC using Marshmallow Hell and a knife to the back. My action was deemed Neutral as he was the happiest man in the world as he died.
Started a new campaign (There's only a single player at the moment, but he's gonna recruit more players.). I was running a thief through a Megadungeon with Alien Geometries. He ran into a single orc. The orc had a club. The thief won initiative, missed, and the orc proceeded to roll a natural 1 on its to-hit roll. I rolled on a fumble table, and the orc hit itself in the head with its club, killing itself instantly. That's right, an orc fumbled so badly trying to hit a 3rd level thief, that he caved his own skull in. It was hilarious. That, and by visiting the library of the dungeon, the thief decided that it was built by either a women or an effeminate man that had a fetish for small things and liked to use small dogs as ingredients in cooking.
"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. ClarkeLet's see... It all began as a stealth check when our dwarf fighter was given leaves to put into his armor in order to reduce the sound he made as he moved. When we arrived at a town to pick up a Kobold NPC, we are attacked by mechanical dogs. After my character, a Revenant Assassin for the curious, climbed onto a nearby rooftop to get a better vantage point, I helped the dwarf up, who, on his next turn did a flying elbow from the roof onto the dog, who had full HP and bloodied the thing. All the dog saw was a shrub flying at it, but we knew that it was really our dwarf companion being a badass.
Hello again tropersI was in a game once where people tried to negotiate selling my character into sex slavery. I explained OOC that if this came to my character's attention there would be a bloodbath and given where they were negotiating, a bloodbath would prevent us from continuing the current plotline since none of our contacts would speak to us.
When that didn't work I freaked them all out by describing my character's preferred sexual activities in detail. They dropped it to shut me up.
Remind me not to play any version of "Vampire" with you.
So, I just found more stories of Kribnefka in the DM's notes.
We're walking along the road in a swamp, just after a nice sleep in an inn. The Warlock has had a chat with his hellish benefactors, the Cleric is checking our finances, the druid's animal companion (a tortoise) is carrying our stuff, and our Bard (who spent a week after the dragon incident trying to write a ballad about Kribnefka) is sitting on its back playing a jaunty tune. It all seems so peaceful.
Suddenly, a Hydra jumps out of the swamp and starts going nuts. the others are taken aback, but Kribnefka is Genre Savvy (magical item keeps him from being caught flat-footed) and the Hydra rolls poorly for its attack. It leans in to bite Krib when he smacks it across the nose.
"NO."
The other four heads try again. Four more smacks.
"NO."
"STOP IT."
"THIS IS STUPID."
"Fine, you want to play?"
Now, my turn rolls around. Kribnefka raises his hands skyward and casts Sturdy Cottage... which promptly drops from above the hydra, crushing its entrails and trapping it. The hydra continues trying to snap at Kribnefka, until he just walks up, grabs the Hydra by its cheeks and glares into its eyes. 20 on an intimidate roll.
"STOP. BEING. A. JACKASS."
The Hydra recoiled, throwing the house off its back and retreating while yelping like a scared dog back into the swamp.
—
Another time, we faced off against an intelligent ghost. Kribnefka eventually got sick of the intangible creature touching his bladder and cast Phantasmal Killer. The ghost suddenly found itself in a black corridor with glowing white walls and mysteriously floating orbs. Suddenly, it heard a horrific gnashing as a monster rounded the corner and ate one of the large orbs.
"WAKKAWAKKAWAKKAWAKKA."
edited 19th Sep '11 7:45:54 AM by Krautman
...and that's terrible.I was at the game store last night with my new buddy Greg and I saw some 2nd Edition AD&D manuals on the shelf, so I decided to flip through them and make fun of some of the art. (Sea wolf FTL) At one point I asked Greg if I could play a myconid in his game. The store owner, being a very good mood that day, started singing a little song about them.
"I'm a little mushroom man with a spear. Please don't come near. If you lick me, things will get weird."
"Correction: can I play a myconid bard named Ken(the store owner's name)?"
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)I have a GM who has homebrewed a Tron game with Wo D d10 rules. I made a paladin-like security program uncreatively called "Palace". The GM has, as a story, some kind of zombie virus -Zombie-werewolf I called it, since they turned into beasts. And it's apparently caused by vampiric programs- infecting programs and my character becomes infected himself. He asks a superior to have someone nearby to kill him in case he goes mad. His superior hands him a grenade.
"Do it yourself."
Palace accepts this and now is laid up in a hospital bed, disarmed since he was infected except with a grenade cradled to his chest. Then a guy runs in who's able to transform his arms into zombie arms at will and bisects a security guard chasing him, this guy is a vampire program. Understandably, Palace chucks his grenade at him because that shit doesn't fly with him. The vampire is able to neutralize it mid-flight by means I didn't understand but a whole pack of security guards are coming and he tries to convince Palace that he is a friend -Palace's infection, which originated from the vampire's programing type, makes my infected arm green and monstrous, like what the vampire could transform. Palace is curious and when the vampire hides and the security pack comes, Palace misleads thems but points out since he is infected he could go mad and should have a grenade to end his life just in case. Palace is a security program, they are security programs, they trust him and the leader hands him his grenade and they take off. The vampire comes out of hiding very thanful but Palace holds out his new grenade.
"I have a grenade again, and this time I will not throw it."
This makes the vampire very pliable to Palace's demands for answers for a little while until he calls for a guard and then grabs him and sucks him dry of energy. Palace throws his grenade again -He just said he wouldn't but it was a reflex- and this time the vampire catches it and crushes it before it can detonate (Because... Tron). Then Palace calls for more guards, warns them to stay out of mellee range and the ruckus attracts the other P Cs and we manage to knock out the vampire. We bring him to my superior for interogation. I tell my superior I used my grenade on the vampire and ask for another one, which I recieve. The P Cs are allowed to partcipate in the interogation and I wake up the vampire by leaning into his ear and speaking.
"I have a grenade again."

Makes sense to me. How else did the ponys get so popular?