YMMV / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Abridged

• Alternate Character Interpretation
  • Standard Abridged Series fare, but Iggy stands out, being re-imagined as something akin to Handbanana.
  • N'Doul as a Blaxploitation character/Toots Shout-Out complete with borderline Tear Jerker death scene.
  • Vanilla Ice is pretty much like his namesake.
  • George Joestar as a steak-obsessed drunkard who does not believe in heaven or hell but believes in karma and reincarnation.
  • Jack the Ripper is a brony.
  • Speedwagon here is Pops.
  • Tarkus and Bruford are The Big Show and Chris Jericho respectively. For Bruford, he's mostly heel Y2J Jericho, but his death scene references Jericho's old "Lionheart" gimmick.
• Aluminum Christmas Trees: Yes, "I wanna fuck a dog in the ass." is an actual song lyric.
• Awesome Music:
  • The theme song used for the Stardust Crusaders OVA, a cover of "Holy Diver" by Ronnie James Dio (The first half of Dio's namesake), preformed by Killswitch Engage. The original is used at the end of Dio's proper debut episode as well.
  • When Dio pulls an Out of the Inferno with Senator Philip's body, the intro to "March of Mephisto" by Kamelot is used to startling effect.
  • Hoes and Wine, ALL ZE TIME!
  • The full version he put out in MP3 form on St. Patrick's Day 2010 is even better.
• Crosses the Line Twice:
  J. Geil: "Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. I raped her. Then I killed her. Then I dressed her up as Liza Minnelli. Then I raped her again. I know. I'm f*cked up like that."
  • Dio making a dinner out of Danny, giving it to Jonathan
• Heartwarming Moments: "MANLIEST HUG!!!"
• Ensemble Dark Horse:
  • Dio's hipster underlings steal the whole damn show in the first PB episode.
  • Barry the Slinger
    Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna sling ya.
• Growing the Beard: Most fans agree that the series noticeably jumped in quality either on episode 4 or 6, depending on who you ask.
• Genius Bonus: In episode 8, Polnareff's quip on how Vanilla Ice is about to be under pressure before killing him refers to his namesake getting into legal trouble, having been acussed of sampling the bassline of Queen song "Under Pressure" for "Ice Ice Baby".
• Harsher in Hindsight: Speedwagon, after being hit by Zeppeli, states that he'll never have kids, which would explain things.
• Hilarious in Hindsight:
  • Speedwagon at the end of the comment special, commits that he has tanning oil in case of encountering half naked men. Years later, he meets the Pillar Men who all qualify for this.
  • The bonus video "Doppio was phone?" has a guy drunk calling Hirohiko Araki and asking if they would ever make another Jojo anime. It took two and a half years, but he got his wish.
  • Jotaro notes that "Fountain of Blood" would make a cool band name. The name of the 2nd OP for the anime is named "Bloody Stream".
  • From the Epilogue episode: "What if JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was on Cartoon Network?" Come October 2016, that dimension will technically be our own.
  • Also from the Epilogue episode: "The ultimate reality in which I, DIO, defeat the Joestars!" It also exists, but he's purple in that dimension for some reason. And Jotaro still kicks his ass in that one.
  • The premise to the Epilogue sounds awfully similar to the Interdimensional Cable episodes of Rick and Morty.
  • Kakyoin's rant on how Keanu Reeves was a talentless hack is rather hilarious now that he got into everyone's goodwill thanks to the John Wick trilogy and his apperance in Cyber Punk 2077.
  • The episode where Jotaro battles a brainwashed Kakyoin and then gets into an argument with him on how to pronounce Hierophant Green‘s name is similar to a scene in Part 4 where Okuyasu meets the borderline senile Joseph and the latter can’t understand him when Okuyasu says that he’s a Stand user, thinking that he’s saying “I can’t stand losers” or that he “wants to sell a used computer”.
• Ho Yay:
  • Kakyoin to Jotaro.
  • And the whole STFU-Dio-Brando-is-a-sexy-motherfucker thing.
• Memetic Badass: Barry the Slinger
• Memetic Mutation: What is this I don't even?
  • Oh, my sexy Hand!
  • You thought x but it was I, DIO!
  • The Joestar sex drive cannot be diminished by mere sickness!
  • At this point the entire series, go look on videos of Jojo on Youtube and try to see how fast you can find comments relating to the series.
  • The hammy, profane variation of Jotaro’s “call or fold” line when he’s about to defeat D’Arby:
    Call or fold, D’Arby. What’s it gonna be, D’Arby? WHAT’S IT GONNA FUCKING BE?!
• Moe: Erina
• Nightmare Fuel - Hol Horse's dreams are...unsettling, to say the least.
  • To the point where the 5th episode's stinger is nothing but Hol Horse screaming as Mr. Popo does... something to him. Now remember what happened to Garlic Jr. and the fact that this is Hol Horse's final appearance in this series...
  • Dio. The fact that this is an Abridged Series and he still manages to be as menacing as he was in the original source material is a credit to Antfish's writing skills.
  • Two words in Episode 10: "Snack Time!"
    • Made worse by the fact that Dio didn't even need the blood: he just did it For the Evulz.
  • When Jotaro seemingly gets blown up, Dio gives a surprisingly creepy monologue about the new world he's going to set up, storyboarded with disturbing art and ominous music.
    Dio: A world ruled by me, a world ruled by fear. A world where the times of unity, peace, and light will be cloaked by the sheets of hate, war, and darkness. A world where hellfire will be considered a safe haven. A world where the streets will run a river of blood, with the corpses of those who would defy me: they will be boats to the crows, and the rats, and the vermin: gnawing and picking at their flesh. A world in my hands, ruled by me, ruled: by I, DIO!
  • Making it worse is the screams of the people in the picture where Dio mentions that hellfire will be considered a safe haven. Then: "Why can't I move?"
  • Earlier, Dio tries to see if Jotaro died with the same kind of creepy monotone and ominous music, only broken by the brief jokes of Dio wanting to take off Jotaro's pants and his "WELP! He's dead!" line.
  • J. Geil is creepy as hell in this adaption, raping Polnareff's sister twice (with one of those times coming after her death), and Hol Horse mentions that J. Geil has been bragging about it. Then he proves to be pretty cunning by forcing the heroes into a Sadistic Choice: either be killed by his Stand, or to kill innocent civilians... and still die by his Stand. And he's played completely seriously.
  • And then we meet Enya, who forces Hol Horse to shoot himself in the head after stabbing him in the arm. Why? She (wrongly) claims he abandoned her son, and she's going after anyone who was involved. Anyone.
    Enya: A winner is me.
    *A gunshot is heard offscreen*
• One-Scene Wonder: Episode 2 of 2012 Jojo Abridged has Barry the Slinger:
  Barry: Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna sling ya!
• Squick:
  • Joseph's description of the picture he offers D'Arby is rather...descriptive. Amusingly, D'Arby does indeed demand "that photo of the old guy naked" on top of the other bets made during that scene.
    Joseph: That's a picture. Of me. Sitting on a couch. With my legs spread open. Naked. This picture was on the cover of GDILFs Magazine's 'Top Ten Sexiest, Most F***able Grandpas. I was number one. Beating both Monkey D. Garp from One Piece, and Uncle Iroh from Avatar.
    D'Arby: How...recent...is that picture?
    Joseph: VERY...very...recent.
  • Even more hilarious/disturbing is the fact that there really is a picture out there that matches that description quite closely, despite it being unlikely for Antfish to have inspiration for the joke from it.
• Tear Jerker
  • Iggy's death. Who knew one change to Handbanana's catchprase could be so sobering? "Tonight... me."
  • Kakyoin's death is even sadder. Set to music from The Land Before Time, no less! Even with the following letter sequence accompanied by Ren & Stimpy music, nobody's laughing by the time Kakyoin gives his final Emerald Splash and Joseph realizes Kakyoin is dead.
    • Kakyoin mentions his parents "never had time to read" the letter he sent them. That means they probably don't know that their son is dead.
  • Abdul's second death. Note that Polnareff is the one who's the most broken up about it: when Vanilla Ice finishes his taunt, Polnareff can't even speak for a few seconds.
    Vanilla Ice: YO I'M TALKING STRAIGHT UP PASSED THE F*CK AWAY! PASSIN' BY THE RIVER OF STYX! BITCHIN AT THE PEARLY GATES MOTHERF*CKER!!!!
    DIO: Poetry...
    Polnareff: (Choking back sorrow and gritting teeth) ...CHARIOT!!! (Calls forth his stand)
  • Antfish's tribute to Ronnie James Dio
  • N'Doul's death scene of all things, especially when the sad music starts up and N'Doul relates his tragic backstory to Jotaro. Sure it hits Mood Whiplash when Jotaro points out that said backstory was lifted from a flashback from Ray, but it goes back to emotional when Jotaro buries him and wonders if they could have been friends.
  • A minor one in the Comment Special of all things. Dio's response to Jotaro's dig at the fact he has no real friends showed some serious insecurity. It becomes funny almost immediately afterwards, but it was clear Dio was actually pretty darn hurt by that observation.
    Jotaro: You're a jerk...because you don't have any friends.
    Dio: ...I got friends...I got LOTS of friends...!
  • George's death in episode 3, complete with He Lives In You.
  • Zeppeli's backstory in the comment special around the time he recounts his father's death.
  • Zeppeli's dying scene in episode 4, with all the hilariousness aside, was still tear-worthy, especially with the funeral pyre.

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