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What An Idiot / Bleach

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Ah, Tite Kubo's Bleach. The delightfully popular shonen with many interesting characters, abilities and factions of soldiers. Considering the sheer bureaucracy of the groups, you'd expect there to be impressive strategies and tactics incorporating the great variation of abilities in series, would you not?

In a word, no.

  • In Bleach almost every sword fight will end with one character severely injuring or incapacitating their opponent.
    You'd Expect: The winner would finish off the loser, or at the very least, check to make sure they're actually dead. Or tie them up, confiscate their weapon, and take them prisoner in situations where bringing them in alive for questioning would be fruitful.
    Instead: The winner will always make some snide comment about how badly the loser was beaten, and leave them for dead.
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  • Yamamoto orders Byakuya and Kenpachi Zaraki to bring Rukia and Renji back to the Soul Society with whatever force necessary when Rukia and Renji wanted to go to Hueco Mundo.
    You'd Expect: Byakuya to do so.
    Instead: Actually he does take them back but then makes some stupid line about there's no order about them leaving the Soul Society again which means Rukia and Renji are free to go to Hueco Mundo. While the sentiment is nice, the strategy is incredibly stupid. Renji, being a lieutenant, and Rukia, being a 3rd Seat, are completely outclassed by the Espadas. Rukia manages to kill one but ends up almost dying anyways while Renji gets completely curb stomped. In the end, Byakuya, Kenpachi Zaraki, as well as Mayuri and Unohana had to go save them. Byakuya letting them go to Hueco Mundo, a place where there are captain class Espadas, is literally the equivalent of sending them to death. This is lampshaded in-universe. Ichigo's group going to Hueco Mundo and Byakuya helping Renji and Rukia get there to support him did screw up Yamamoto's plans.
  • Then there's two Arrancar, Loly and Menoly, who believe they're Aizen's chosen hand-maidens, and who therefore see Orihime as a threat to their positions. Driven by jealousy, most of their interactions involving her are examples of idiocy that get acknowledged in various ways in-universe. Two examples include:
    • When Aizen captures Orihime, she's placed under Ulquiorra's guard with orders for no-one to harm her. Loly and Menoly disregard the order, sneak into her room and beat her up. They're interrupted by Grimmjow who wants Orihime for his own plans.
      You'd Expect: For them to get the hell out of there since they are already in violation of Aizen's orders by attacking an important hostage and Grimmjow is an Espada who is way out of their league.
      Instead: Loly smartmouths Grimmjow and gets slapped across the room resulting in Menoly trying to attack him with a Cero. Grimmjow vaporises her, causing her to scream that Aizen won't let him get away with this. When she won't stop insulting him, he rips off her leg (manga) or stamps on her face (anime).
    • When Orihime heals them from the injuries Grimmjow causes...
      You'd Expect: Them to call a truce with Orihime as a result of her unsolicited kindness thereby ending the vendetta, or at least avoid her in future given that her willingness to heal the people who beat her black-and-blue terrifies them.
      Instead: When Ulquiorra is distracted fighting Ichigo, the pair attack Orihime again even though she's mere feet from Ulquiorra and Ichigo. They get beaten to a pulp by Yammy just for being in his way.
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  • Let us not forget the infamous incident early in the "Rescue Orihime" arc, where Ichigo and friends come to a series of different passageways in Las Noches, and have to decide where to go.
    You'd Expect: them to pick one pathway (since they don't know where any of them lead), and stick together. After all, they're in the middle of an enemy hide-out they know nothing about, the enemy has superior numbers (and superior firepower on a one-to-one basis), and since it's a rescue mission, they need to get Orihime and get the hell out of dodge—which would be delayed if they had to go tracking down scattered team members.
    Instead: They split up due to comments from Rukia and Renji about "warriors not fearing death" (never mind that they're on a rescue mission, not to get into Epic Fights... in-universe, that is), something that is so idiotic that Ichigo (of all people) points out how stupid an idea it is. Yet everybody goes along with it, and the exactly predictable happens - they get split up, and attacked separately. The only thing that saves them is that Aizen, instead of simply overwhelming them with his superior numbers and firepower, sets them up in one-on-one battles, most likely because his motive is to draw other Soul Reapers into his trap using Ichigo and friends as bait.
  • Urahara knew Aizen would take an interest in Orihime's powers as a means to activate the dormant Hogyoku.
    You'd Expect: Mister Hat And Clogs would explain to her up front what Aizen no doubt has planned for her and insist that she stay at his shop where, if Aizen's mooks come to get her, they'll first have to contend with him, Yoruichi, Tessai, Ururu, Jinta, Renji, and Chad.
    Instead: He makes her feel useless because her one and only means of attack broke, prompting her to go off to one of the Visoreds to get it repaired, go to the Soul Society to train with Rukia, and then get kidnapped on the way back to the World of the Living. All the while, he didn't so much as keep tabs on her whereabouts and/or status.
  • During Byakuya's fight with Zommari:
    You'd Expect: Zommari to simply attack Byakuya, kill Rukia and Hanataro and leave, right?
    Instead: Zommari explains each of his attacks to Byakuya, including the total number of items/body parts/whatever he can control. Byakuya points out Zommari's been a complete idiot then demonstrates why by thrashing the guy. It's later revealed in-story that Zommari was a symbol of death by intoxication.
  • Zanpakuto Filler Arc Villain Muramasa comes to the World of the Living. Orihime sees him there and goes to him, and not only does she reveal in the ensuing conversation that she knows he's Ichigo's enemy, but Uryu and Chad are backing her up in the shadows. CLEARLY they've been expecting him.
    You'd Expect: Orihime to call them over, or them to tell her to get out of the way, leading to them coming out and finishing him then and there.
    Instead: Orihime heals the man she knows is the enemy, and they don't even come out until after he's gotten up and attacked her.
    The Result: A complete asshole is freed from a stabbed and chained coffin.
  • Minor example: so, you are a foot soldier for the Vandenreich and your leader tasks you with very important job—deliver the war declaration to Soul Society. Well, it's dangerous mission, but hey, you got mooks to back you up.
    You'd Expect: Do your job and get the hell out.
    Instead: You set the date for invasion, even though you weren't told to do so. Yeah, lowliest grunt makes essential decisions for his boss. Although it doesn't change much at all, and couldn't even deceive Yamamoto, it still gets Luders killed by The Emperor.
  • The Shinigami recognize that the Vandenreich has an unknown Anti-Bankai ability but that Bankai is needed to be strong enough to win.
    You'd Expect: The captains would coordinate which Shinigami would sacrifice their Bankai to understand the sealing process, so that the other Bankai-wielders could co-ordinate defence of the realm and the sacrificial Shinigami.
    Instead: Four captains independently sacrifice their Bankai to assess the sealing process without coordinating with the rest of the captains. This catches all of the them off guard and doesn't allow them to formulate a response that can protect either Soul Society or the sacrificial captains. Shinji and Mayuri lampshade in-universe how stupid this is.
  • Renji has seen that the Quincies can steal Bankai and use it against the Shinigami owner.
    You'd Expect: Him to not use his bankai.
    Instead: He attempts to use his Bankai, despite Byakuya's complete lack of stoicism when trying to stop Renji from doing so.
  • Chapter 505: Yamamoto goes to save Shuuhei from one of the Vandenreich, Driscoll, who was also the one who killed his lieutenant.
    You'd Expect: Driscoll would keep his mouth shut and either run away or fight Yamamoto as cautiously as possible.
    Instead: He boasts about killing Chojiro, then tries using his bankai to kill Yamamoto. Cue Curb-Stomp Battle.
  • Chapter 506: Yamamoto is about to confront Yhwach.
    You'd Expect: Everybody stay the hell out and let the big guys do their thing.
    Instead: Bazz-B, Nanana and As Nodt try to ambush Old Man Genocide. No points for guessing how it works out for them. It's especially painful in As Nodt's case, who earlier proved to be a capable and cunning villain. In the end, he doesn't even bother using Byakuya's Bankai or his Scarecrow style powers against Soul Society's most dangerous man.
  • Bazz-B is not happy with Yhwach's choice of successor. Specially because he is friends with Haschwalth, whom everyone thinks as the biggest candidate for becoming next Emperor
    You'd Expect: Eager support of your Emperor's choice while imagining all sorts of nasty things.
    Instead: He shouts at Yhwach and rushes to the podium, only to be stopped by Haschwalth. Thankfully for Bazz-B, he's still in one piece when Yhwach just shuts him up. Later, Bazz-B is still mad and tries to enter Emperor's chambers to bitch about how Uryuu is not good enough to lead Vandenreich. Again, Haschwalth stops him. Also of note, this is the guy who tried to ambush the late Old Man Genocide. So yeah.
  • Shuhei recovers enough to try attacking Mask De Masculine when he is about to leave to go see what fell from the sky.
    You'd Expect: Him to attack Mask's smaller companion James due to Mask being invincible if he has a supporter cheer for him.
    Instead: He wraps a chain around Mask and is pulled in to get stomped before Kensei and Rose show up and prevent him from getting stomped, leading to him failing to warn Kensei and Rose about Mask being invincible just as Mask is being restored by his fan.
    The Result: Kensei is launched into a tower while Rose is the only person around capable of fighting Mask, making Mask pretty much unbeatable instead of a Zero-Effort Boss as Rose and Kensei could've taken Mask and his fan out at the same time if Hisagi had spoken up earlier.
  • Byakuya vs Pepe. Pepe attacks Byakuya with his love control power.
    You'd think: Byakuya would just physically dodge the power as he'd already proven he could do and restrain Pepe with Kido or outspeed him to strike him down.
    Instead: He slashes with his sword, despite having figured out Pepe controls hearts, and despite having two experiences with opponents taking control of zanpakutou spirits (whom Shinigami know have hearts).
    End result: He throws away his sword and doesn't know how to take down the nearly-dead, love-controlled Hisagi without killing him in the process.
  • In the past, it's shown that Neliel used to be Nnoitra's superior (Neliel being the former third Espada, Nnoitra the eighth) - despite Nnoitra making it perfectly clear he despised Neliel and wanted her dead, she insisted on following him on dangerous missions and attempting to rein him in because "he was weaker than her" but still a comrade, angering Nnoitra, who found it the ultimate insult that Neliel would repeatedly defeat him but never killed him:
    You'd Expect: For Neliel to either kill Nnoitra, who has proved over and over to be a dangerous, violent individual who resents her higher rank and wants her dead, or just avoid him in general until he gets himself killed and no longer poses a problem.
    Instead: Neliel repeatedly rubs it in Nnoitra's face that she considers him no better than an animal and assumes that because of their respective rankings, he would never actually retaliate against her. So Nnoitra teams up with Szayel, critically injures Neliel's Fraccion to lure her into a trap, then brutally attacks her, shattering her mask and devolving her into a childlike form (Nel) and thereby kicking her out of the Espada and paying her back for her pity by leaving her to die in the desert rather than giving her a quick death.\\

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