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Western Animation / The D.A.R.E. Report: The Land of Decisions and Choices

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Yes, it's just as bizarre as it looks.
The D.A.R.E. Report: The Land of Decisions and Choices is a 1993 drug abuse educational animated video produced by D.A.R.E.note  It features four pre-teen kids that are working on a report about drug abuse and resistance for the D.A.R.E. program. But things go awry on the way to school when Officer D.A.R.E.'s puppy swipes the backpack containing said report, and the kids end up chasing him into the titular (and very surreal) Land of Decisions and Choices, where a drug dealer named Iggy and his kid Bumbling Sidekick Benny attempt to push drugs like cigarettes, alcoholic beverages, marijuana and cocaine to the four preteens while dressed like a rabbit and a bee, respectively. It is here that the kids' learned knowledge about drugs is put to the test...

It was unavailable in English for many years until late 2018, when it resurfaced on YouTube.

This drug video provides examples of:

  • The Aggressive Drug Dealer: Iggy starts out as an aversion to this, acting really friendly to the kids, until near the end when he begins to get like this, especially when he begins to advance on Benny and the other kids in an alleyway with living anthropomorphic hard drugs.
  • Alcoholic Parent: Lisa has an alcoholic father, and it helps her out for her part of the drug abuse report about the dangers of alcohol.
  • Animate Inanimate Object: The Land of Decisions and Choices is also the home of large anthropomorphic cigarettes, beer and liquor bottles, an Ursula-esque joint, a glue tube (for sniffing glue), a postage stamp (when referencing acid/LSD), and a heroin needle. It's quite surreal.
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  • Bumbling Sidekick: Benny is this to Iggy through and through. It also leads to Benny turning against Iggy and joining the good kids.
  • Deranged Animation: VERY prominent throughout the video. At times it feels similar to something Klasky-Csupo would make, and had a few of the same artists.
  • Descent into Addiction: Iggy begins to show traits of this after the kids refuse his offer to try sniffing cocaine. When a gust of wind blows the coke away, Iggy panics and lights up a crack pipe in desperation.
  • A Dog Ate My Homework: The plot, as is, gets underway when Officer D.A.R.E.'s hyperactive puppy steals Tommy's backpack containing their drug report and the kids must go after him.
  • Drugs Are Bad: Well, this is a drug abuse education video. The four "good" kids even write a report for school about this subject.
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  • Expressive Mask: The attached mask on Iggy's rabbit costume is very expressive with Iggy's real face, complete with moving mouth and eyelids, and even has similar facial features to Iggy's true face, at least if he really were a rabbit. It even gives Iggy buck teeth. Though this may be due to the Deranged Animation throughout the video.
  • Full-Body Disguise: Iggy's full-body rabbit costume that completely covers him from head to toe. After he puts it on after his introduction, Iggy doesn't take it off until near his defeat when he removes the attached mask. Benny's bee costume, however, shows his true face and arms.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Benny eventually realizes how bad drugs can be, and decides to leave Iggy and join up with the "good" pre-teens and eventually becomes one of them.
  • No More for Me: Benny as he keeps hearing from the "good kids" how bad drugs can be.
  • No Name Given: We never learn the names of the male black friend to Tommy, or the girl with the brown hair. Only Tommy (the Asian boy with the bowl cut) and Lisa (the girl with blonde pigtails) are given names out of the group of kids, alongside Iggy (the drug dealer) and Benny (his kid assistant.)
  • Reduced to Dust: Happens to the giant anthropomorphic joint after the good kids cut off the drugs' power. A bolt of lightning zaps the joint and reduces her to ashes.
  • A Round of Drinks for the House: Iggy presents this when he attempts to persuade the "good" kids to start drinking alcohol, accompanied by large anthropomorphic beer bottles.
  • Smoking Is Cool: Iggy tries to present this to the kids, featuring smoking characters like "Nicotina" (a beautiful woman smoking from a long cigarette holder), "Smokin' Jim" (an Expy of the Marlboro Man) and "Cool Rex" (a cigarette-smoking dinosaur). But when Nicotina gets close and speaks, she suddenly gets hideous-looking, and Tommy considers trying a cigarette until his friend discourages him and explains the truth and dangers of tobacco, and even Benny starts to realize that Smoking Is Not Cool.
  • The Stoner: A giant talking anthropomorphic joint reminiscent of Ursula fills this role, initially saying nonsense that doesn't answer the kids' questions if she's seen the puppy go by.


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