Two Lumps is a webcomic about two purebred Russian Blue cats. Ebenezer Dusk, Esq. (usually referred to as "Eben" or "Benny"), is a scholarly cat with a never-fully-described position in the feline conspiracy to take over the world. His brother Snooch is overweight and not exactly bright, but gets a great deal of enjoyment out of life (aided by large quantities of alcohol). The two cats live with "Mom," their human
owner provider of food and attention.
The comic is written by Mel Hynes, and drawn by James Grant. It was inspired by Mel's two purebred Russian Blue cats, Raistlin and Caramon (named for the Dragonlance characters — three guesses why they were renamed for the comic). It updates three times per week, and can be found here.
This webcomic contains examples of:
- And I Must Scream: Snootch's second brain, possibly.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In this strip, Eben's reaction to Snooch's scream is, "WHAT?! FIRE! LOCUSTS! BRITISH LOYALISTS!"
- Brain Bleach: A vodka variant followed one Olympics event:Snooch: Th' Men's Volleyball Teams're wearin' th' same uniforms azza Women's. It wuz Italy vs Greece...
- Brand X: Eben wears "Squishypaws" (real product is SoftPaws) to minimize claw damage to furniture.
- One story arc involved the cats' human "Mom" getting a "uRobot" (Roomba).
- Brick Joke: From the first comic. Comes up again on the first anniversary.
- The Casanova: Eben thinks he qualifies. Nightmare disagrees.
- Cats Are Mean: Eben, frequently.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Snooch
- Cone of Shame: Snooch had to wear a cone, and was using it as a megaphone.
- Deadpan Snarker: Eben.
- Did You Just Pee On Cthulhu: See the third entry under Eldritch Abomination.
- Eldritch Abomination: Automatic litter boxes possessed by demons, a gate to the Silent Hill world in the bathroom of their new home, a new mop that's a Cthuloid critter in disguise ....
- Extreme Omnivore: Snooch, sometimes deliberately, sometimes by accident. Among the things he's consumed are (in alphabetical order):
- The Faceless: Most humans ("Mom" in particular) appear either from the knees down or as voices issuing from off-panel.
- Filk Song: Mel enjoys writing strips where all the dialogue is filked songs.
- Fluffy Cloud Heaven: A tribute comic after "Eben's" death.
- "Freaky Friday" Flip: In a late 2014 story arc, the two cats wake up to find themselves in each other's body.
- Gratuitous Japanese: Neither Mel nor James know what the kanji that shows up on occasion means.
- Hulk Speak: Eben resorts to this to sum up the "moving day" story arc to Snooch:
- Snooch: Big words?Eben: Sorry. Ahem. WE LIVE HERE NOW. ME ANGRY. ME GOING TO PEE ON EVERYTHING.
- I Read It for the Articles: Eben's justification for reading "Cat Fancy".
- Incredibly Lame Pun: Both the cats pull these on a regular basis.
- It Tastes Like Feet: Baby powder does not taste like real babies, evidently.
- Lethal Chef: Not that either of them cooks often, but do we even want to know why Snooch's recipe for brownies includes mustard and garlic?
- Major General Song: I am the very model of a shedding individual...
- Mobile Fishbowl: The Angry Fish goes after Snooch with a water-filled (and bubble-topped) tank.
- Oh My Gods!: "Great Bast!" among many, many others.
- Painting the Medium: The Strawman Political goldfish's speech is rendered in military-style stencils.
- Playing Sick: During a flashback sequence, kitten-Eben gets sick shortly after he and kitten-Snooch are adopted. note Once Snooch finds out that his brother is being given pureed chicken to encourage him to eat, he immediately fakes the same symptoms.
- Shout-Out: At one point Eben and Snooch encountered a street cat named Tasselhoff, a reference to Dragonlance (and the origin of the real-life cats' names).
Snooch: The contents... of this freezer... are TOO DAMN PIE!Benny : Through vaccinations untold and temperature takings unnumbered....
- One pre-Thanksgiving strip parodied Jimmy McMillan when Snooch went looking for ice cream, only to discover that the freezer was instead filled with a certain kind of pastry:
- Strawman Political: The household recently acquired a goldfish that speaks almost entirely in stereotyped right-wing rhetoric.
- Take That!: A Filler Strip jab at Megatokyo, and the occasional poke at Garfield in earlier strips.
- They've also made jabs at Dinosaur Comics.
- Thought Bubble Speech
- Tongue on the Flagpole: Snooch manages to do this with a metal window frame.
- Visual Pun The goldfish adds tank treads and a turret to his fishbowl at one point, turning it into a Fish Tank.
- Whole Plot Reference: They've done arcs based on: