Swords and Sausages
is a comedic fantasy Furry Webcomic written and drawn by Jan Tigerknight.
The story centers on the medieval misadventures of two Lovable Rogues: Tor the tiger and Silver the arctic vixen, a pair of thieves who wreak havoc (often accidentally) throughout the kingdom of Vale Valley and the surrounding area. In later strips they are joined by Kiela, a feline sorceress with a Dark and Troubled Past. The characters (or rather actors playing them) also appear in the author's other comic Nine to Nine.
Occasionally NSFW for showing nipples.
Swords, Sausages and Tropes:
- Action Prologue: 4 pages to introduce the town. 1 page for Tor and Silver to strike a heroic pose. Then Baguette Beatdown starts.
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Besides the example in Attack! Attack... Retreat! Retreat! below, there's the scene in which the three protagonists take refuge at a house owned by a friend of Kiela's — which Tor enters by falling through the roof.Kiela: We're here to rest and recuperate, not rummage and ransack... Though repair and renovate is more likely in our near future.
- Adventure-Friendly World: A setting that would fit a typical CRPG, with magic item shops, adventurer parties of four, Adventure Towns, and mystic locations turned into tourist attractions.
- Affectionate Parody: The comic lovingly satirizes the Heroic Fantasy genre.
- Attack! Attack... Retreat! Retreat!: An invading army after seeing that Vale Valley hired barbarian bulls as guards.If he means to intimidate us by by forging an alliance with brooding, barely-literate, bloodthirsty bovines that overrun these very lands——he's doing it remarkably well.
- Baguette Beatdown: A Running Gag or nearly so in chapters 1 and 2. When the "heroes" first appear, they threaten guards with stale bread, then beat one, then narrowly dodge some thrown stale bakery, and are chased by guards and a loaf-armed baker.
- Ban on Magic: Kiela explains that Vale Valley has banned the use of magic outside academia because "no one has demonstrated complete control over it", which has led to wanton destruction in the past. (She knows this from personal experience.) This is why she hides the true extent of her sorcerous powers. The events of that arc lead to a complete ban on magic with Kiela and the other mages seemingly depowered, although we later learn than Kiela tricked everyone and kept her powers.
- Barefoot Cartoon Animal: Nobody seems to wear anything on their feet, unless you count the wrappings Silver has around her ankles. (Because of this, Kiela also happens to be a Magical Barefooter, a trait that doesn't make her stand out in this setting.) However, a significant portion of the male population (including Tor) wear shorts and long shirts, which makes them look like Half Dressed Cartoon Animals.
- Because You Were Nice to Me; Using Rebus Bubbles, Bapple gets his mother to help save Kiela by letting her know that Kiela is actually a kind-hearted person who cared for him.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Played for Drama. Kiela is one of the kindest characters in the story — but years ago, when she was pushed too far, she became enraged enough to single-handedly blow up Kingswood Forest.
- BFS: Silver loves huge axes.
- Cats Are Magic: Kiela is a cat who has studied sorcery and is much better at it than she lets on.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Kiela is introduced as a "pessimistic fortune-teller" on page 3. She suddenly reappears in chapter 10, some 116 (non-filler) pages later and becomes very important shortly after.
- Chosen One: Discussed, deconstructed, subverted, but seems to be Played Straight for Silver as of 2022.
- Content Warning: The strips that show nipples have them.
- The Danza: In-universe. Tor the rogue shares the name with Tor from Nine to Nine, who plays him in the web video series Swords and Sausages. Silver is played by his girlfriend Andrea.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Kiela's Flashback in which she reveals how her youthful attempt to tame a dragon led to the dragon being petrified and Kingswood Forest being destroyed.
- Drinking Contest: This is how the important matter of who gets to buy an axe is settled.
- Fantastic Racism: Bananas were banned for many reasons, but most importantly, barbarians hate them, because bananas are commonly used to insult them.
- Feathered Fiend: The heroes have troubles with pigeons and chickens.
- Forced Transformation: The king becomes a rabbit after Tor plays with magic swords and a bad luck charm.
- Furry Confusion: There are non-sentient horses, cows and rabbits. And there are bipedal talking fully dressed horses, cows and rabbits. Pigeons seem to belong to the former, but they do spend stolen money on seed.
- Glowing Eyes: Bapple's mother has them for a while because of young Kiela, who was trying to tame a wild dragon for her Magic Academy dissertation. After the spell wears off it turns out that it blinded her.Kiela: First, I cast a spell to make her eyes glow. I thought it'd make her identifiable and would look great for my presentation.
- Heroic Fantasy: Of a (usually) silly and cartoonish variety.
- Heroic Sacrifice: When Kiela and a rabbit who is actually King Leonidas are both falling to what seems to be certain doom, Kiela casts a spell that saves the rabbit rather than herself.
- High on Catnip: When Tor becomes a feral tiger, one reader suggests that catnip can keep him under control. Kiela tries to give it to him, apparently forgetting that she's a feline herself. Hilarity Ensues.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Tor and Silver may be thieves, but they're just trying to survive and never mean to harm anyone. They also befriend Kiela and are genuinely concerned for her safety.
- King of Beasts: The royal family of Vale Valley are all lions. At least until King Leonidas' Forced Transformation into a rabbit.
- Knight of Cerebus: Kiela is a mild example. Once she becomes a major character, the strip evolves from pure comedy to comedic adventure with occasional moments of drama.
- Land of One City: Vale Valley has only one city with the population of 4000.
- Living MacGuffin: When King Leonidas is rabbitized, most of Vale Valley begins looking for their lapin leader so he can be changed back. Some less scrupulous searchers plan to grab a random bunny and pass it off as His Highness, but Tor and Silver find the real king, complete with crown.
- Lovable Rogue: Tor and Silver. Crimes include stealing bricks, demolishing the prison, running away from a checkers match and attempted highway extortion by tickling horses.
- Mama Bear: When Bapple's mother thinks her son is in danger, she goes on a rampage to rescue him.
- Medieval European Fantasy: Kings, castles, knights, feudal disunity... Not much of Dung Ages, at least, and some Functional Magic.
- Mêlée à Trois: There's a kingdom bent on world domination, there's its arch-rival, and Vale Valley successfully opposes both.
- My Greatest Failure: How Kiela regards the unpleasantness with the dragon mom and the Kingswood Forest.Kiela (to Brapple's mother): I'm so sorry. If I were a better person, none of this would've ever happened. Do dragons forgive? What's left that I can do?
- Never Trust a Trailer: Not a trailer, but a preview fragment. These 2 panels give the impression that Tor and Silver are going to wake up in bed together, naked, under the same blanket. The full page reveals that Tor was only shirtless and Silver slept fully dressed — her hair partially obscured her vest, which has the same colour as Tor's pants.
- Only Sane Woman: Kiela is easily the most sensible of the three protagonists — not that Tor and Silver give her a lot of competition.
- Pesky Pigeons: Tor needs to access his emergency fund stash, only to discover that his cache is empty. Pesky pigeons have absconded with Tor's funds and are purchasing bird seed in the town market with this booty. In Vale Valley, pigeons range from unhelpful to diabolical.
- The Prophecy: Written on Prophets Rock, buried in a swamp with a dead prophet attached. Cost a small fortune to translate. Sort of fits Tor and Silver, but seems to predict the deaths of the adventurers who unearthed it. It's fake, though.
- Purple Is Powerful:
- The king and queen of Vale Valley wear purple robes.
- Kiela is a talented sorceress who usually wears a purple cloak. Her alternate outfit includes a purple skirt.
- Ridiculously Cute Critter: Bapple, the adorable baby dragon who winds up traveling with the heroes.
- Seldom-Seen Species: A tapir highwayman.
- Sixth Ranger: Kiela does a few Early Bird Cameos, but once she enters the story in earnest she becomes as prominent as Tor and Silver.
- Stock Punishment:
- Streetwalker: Silver tries that. But poetry proves more profitable.
- Swords and Sorcery: Even with the Punny Name.
- Taken for Granite: Young Kiela was forced to cast a petrification spell on Bapple's mother when the dragon attacked her and the Magic Academy teacher who was sent to stop her. She always regretted this and planned to revive the dragon, but the spell wore off before this could happen.
- Talking Weapon: Tor and Silver visit a crater where dozens of swords stand embedded in stones, almost like a theme park. Silver succeeds in pulling one that defies Tor and insults him, but decides to stick it back in the stone, even after it declares her to be its true master.
- Treachery Cover Up: Kiela's flashback ends with a variation. Kiela and the Magic Academy realize that they can both be held responsible for the destruction of Kingswood Forest, so they work out a deal. The Academy passes off the incident as the explosion of a subterranean fissure exposing the site of an ancient battleground, complete with Kiela planting rusty old swords as fake evidence. Kiela's attendance records at the Academy are erased, and she's allowed to leave without further punishment. Kiela places Bapple's petrified mother in the middle of the area as a dragon statue, hoping to revive her someday. Each side agrees not to expose the other for their mutual benefit.
- Twisting the Prophecy: Played for Laughs. Chapter 10 has Tor and Silver visit a theme park littered with swords embedded in stones. While Tor can't extract any of these swords, he does succeed in plucking off their jeweled grips. Then Tor tries a sword guarded by a huge stone dragon; he can't budge it. While Tor is busy with a basilisk, Silver takes a tug on this sword, and surprise! She frees it on page 20. The sword exults at being freed by its rightful master as prophecied, which unnerves Silver. She sticks the sword back in its rock and abandons it. Nothing in the rule book says she has to take it with her.
- Two Girls and a Guy: When Kiela joins Silver and Tor as one of the main characters.
- Unsound Effect: "SHOVE" and "VIOLENCE!" may appear in a Big Ball of Violence.
- Unstoppable Rage: Young Kiela's attempt to tame a dragon goes horribly wrong after her spellcasting is interrupted by a member of the Magic Academy. The dragon attacks them both, causing a desperate Kiela to petrify her, which she immediately feels guilty about. The Academy member then threatens her with expulsion. This series of events makes Kiela so angry and frustrated that she creates a huge magical blast that reduces Kingswood Forest to a crater, which does not improve matters for anyone.
- Unusual Euphemism: After Tor meets a big fish and panics:Kiela: Oh, carp.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: In Kiela's Flashback, she and the unnamed Magic Academy teacher share this burden. If young Kiela hadn't tried to tame Bapple's mother, and if the teacher had let her finish the enchantment that would have subdued the dragon, none of the subsequent trouble would have happened. However, Kiela seems to blame only herself.
- Wardrobe Malfunction: In a Running Gag, Silver ends up naked several times a day.
- World of Funny Animals: All of whom live in a Heroic Fantasy setting.
- You and What Army?: A variation. Silver runs toward the unconscious Kiela, who is being carried away by the adventurers. They try to stop Silver, not realizing that she's befriended two dragons and a family of gryphons.Cless: Stand back!
Silver (with the dragons and gryphons backing her up): You stand back.
