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Webcomic / EATATAU!!!

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Yes, that is a Tauminator.
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EATATAU!!! is a comedic and brutally grimdark webcomic by Darius "True_Darius" Craine and Legault that is most certainly not taking place inside the world of Warhammer 40,000. Many names are closely related yet different from a certain tabletop game for copyright reasons, but this rarely detracts from the enjoyment of the story, comedy or action. It is absolutely unsuitable for minors and a few pages are decidedly NSFW.

The story follows four protagonists: an Ax-Crazy Kroott named Skraat, two deeply depraved yet Crazy Awesome Ttau, Sha'shiva and Kor'la, and their superhuman Sergeant Rock Zael Johnson as they take on a galaxy where everything is trying to kill everything else.

As the story begins, Sha'shiva, Kor'la, and Skraat are training at a Ttau Military Academy under Johnson when two Eldar crash-land on the grounds after escaping an attacking Nyd swarm headed for their spacecraft world. The Eldar convince the Ttau to help them warn their home, and the group set out on a quest. Things get progressively darker from there.

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The comic began its run September 2009 and concluded April 2019.


EATATAU!!! provides examples of:

  • Ambiguous Gender: Darius's avatar in out-of-universe pages is a guy in one strip and a girl the next with no comment whatsoever.
  • An Arm and a Leg: Kor'la gets half his body blown off while fighting the avatar of She-who-thirsts. Sha'shiva is able to stabilize him with Ttau medical gear.
  • Anything That Moves:
    • Kor'la, at least towards female Ttau. He explicitly has no interest in other species like Sha'shiva, however. In fact, his response to Selene's battle bikini is that the slate-colored skin, elf ears, and washboard abs spoil it for him.
    • Sha'shiva goes absolutely berserk at the sight of any male she thinks is hot. And she's nowhere near as picky as Kor, either.
  • Back from the Dead: Seargant Johnson is given a Torso with a View by a Darklance in chapter 4. He's rebuilt by the Archon's Fleshmaster (read: Haemonculus) into a half-Druchii gladiator.
  • Chainmail Bikini:
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    • Standard Durchii Wych armor.
    • First Spouse Selene's outfit is a thong bikini, big, badass boots, and a fannypack.
  • Children Are Innocent: Johnson adopts the baby Druchii the Archon tried to feed to a pack of wolves. The little guy genuinely seems to love Johnson back, making sure to keep Johnson's Thunder Hammer (almost as big as he is) after the Ttauminator gets blown up so his ersatz father isn't unarmed.
  • Good Angel, Bad Angel: Parodied mercilessly.
    • Every time Sha is about to jump the bones of somebody or something, we see her shoulder devil casually kill her shoulder angel.
    • Kor's angel tries to talk it out with both their devils first. Then he just takes out a BFG and headshots them both.
    • Both Sha'shiva's angel and devil are absolutely gobsmacked by the size of Selene (the Archon's ex-wife)'s bazongas.
  • Big Bad: The Archon.
  • The Big Guy: Both Skraat and Sergeant Johnson are this.
  • Black Comedy: All over the place. The very first page shows a Ttau instructor asking a Kroott to 'attack' him... with predictable results.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Sha'shiva, The Great Devourer that walks among us! (She has a tendency to physically attack guys she finds hot, starting with Skraat.)
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: It happens every now and then that the cast speaks directly to the reader or converses with the narrator.
  • Cerebus Syndrome: After the first chapter, the comedy starts to take a backseat to 40k's signature brand of Grimdark. The comedy does come back a little after the Gladiator Games arc, with Sha'shiva finally wanting to see Kor's "greater wood" and Selene accidentally getting into a compromising position with Johnson.
  • Chekhov's Gun: A literal one. Also referenced by name in the comments.
  • Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male: If Sha'shiva were a male, she'd be in jail several times over. Judjing by the screaming durung the act and the babbling about Slaanesh after, it's exactly as traumatic as you'd think.
  • Excited Show Title!: So excited it has a multibang instead of an exclaimation point.
  • Extreme Omnisexual: Sha'shiva. So far she did it with or had interest in: A Kroot, a Eldar, a Human, a Durchii beast and a female Durchii. Until Kor'la enters badass territory she had actually no interest in other T'tau.
  • Full-Frontal Assault:
    • Due to various cases of Clothing Damage, among other things, Johnson has a tendency to kick a lot of ass while butt-ass-nekkid.
    • In the epilogue arc, the party are attacked in their hotel room. Sha'shiva didn't wear a shirt to bed and is full-frontal topless when she shoots back.
  • Gladiator Games: The Dark Eldar have these. Of course, they're more akin to a slaughterfest.
  • From a Single Cell: Lillith the Wych can regrow her body "as long as even the smallest fragment remains." Sha'shiva gets around this by vapourizing her entirely.
  • Heel Realization: Sergeant Johnson defected to the Ttau from the Space Marines' Angels of Death unit after being sentenced to death for treason for disobeying orders he felt were unjust and dishonorable. His execution by firing squad was inadvertently interrupted by a Ttau in a battlesuit who blew away the executioner. Having nowhere else to go, Johnson joined the Ttau and is now an instructor at their Military Academy.
  • Heroic BSoD: The new Archon has a device that causes these.
  • I Do Not Own: Parodied by a sidebar on the website containing a Long List of things that Games Workshop doesn't own, including the terms "eldar", "space marine", and anything the authors fiddled with the spelling of.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Skraat, being a Kroott, gains new powers by eating the corpses of his enemies.
  • Keet: The Archon's ex, Selene, is an adorably hyper Blood Knight who joins the group for a lark. In stark contrast to her dourly sadistic fellows. It helps that she's basically a Cheerful Child by Drukharii reckoning, not even having reached her one thousandth summer.
  • Macross Missile Massacre: Unavoidable when your faction of allegiance is the Ttau Empire. Most prominent when Kor'la sends a small army of Mandrakes an SMS (Superior Missile Shower.) or Smart Missile System, take your pick. The trope is also referenced by name in the author's notes.
  • Mighty Glacier: When Sergeant Johnson got forced to compete in Dark Eldar gladiatorial games, his first opponent ran circles around him and tore him up pretty good, hitting him fifteen times in the time it took hit her once. But he only NEEDED to hit her once.
  • Mini-Mecha:
    • The "Ttauminator" is Seargent Johnson's Terminator armorsuit upgraded with some Ttau goodies, such as a missile pod usually mounted on Sky Ray missile artillery tanks in place of the Cyclone launcher.
    • Sha' and Kol spend some time crammed into one Crisis Suit, which has a surprisingly roomy cockpit.
  • My Species Doth Protest Too Much:
    • Seargeant Johnson, a Renegade Space Marine who is a defector to the Ttau Empire. While he has turned his back on the Imperium, he has not forsaken his humanity. The Greater Good resonates with his ideals of courage and honour just as deeply as, if not more than, the Imperial Creed.
    • Selene is a cheerful, bouncy, fun-loving Durchii who doesn't belittle aliens out of hand, a stark contrast to her jaded, dour, scheming, smug fellows. As mentioned elsewhere, she's a Cheerful Child by their reckoning.
  • Named Weapons: The Archons champion wields a Darklance named "Soulsplitter."
  • Rape as Drama: Implied, but always prevented, fortunately.
  • Reality Ensues: See the Black Comedy entry above.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Most of the Durchii are AT LEAST 1,000 years old. The sole exception is Selene, who was born ON the planet they crash landed on. She's slightly less than 1,000 years old.
  • Rule 34: Some of the side comics are straight-up pornographic. Darius even does a breast cancer fundraiser every year by selling a poster of the female cast nude, "Ocboober".
  • Rule 63:
    • From the art gallery portion of the site, this gender-flipped picture of Sha'shiva (red hair) and Kor'la (white hair).
    • Darius himself draws him as both a guy and a girl in out-of-universe pages.
  • Rule of Sexy: The comic in general adheres to this, but Selene virtually embodies this trope.
  • Running Gag:
    • Selene latching onto Johnson's face.
    • In the Spacecraftworld arc, everyone accidentally calls a Howling Banshee exarch some casual synonymn for "a man" (dude, guy, etc), which makes her want to kill them.
  • Starfish Alien: The not-Tyranid.
  • Swallowed Whole: Narrowly averted when Scratt is almost eaten by a Mawloc.
  • Taking the Bullet: Well, an energy blast of some kind, but Johnson isn't above doing this, even for a filthy alien he just met.
  • Talking Is a Free Action: Subverted, not once, but twice.
  • Uriah Gambit: The Academy Headmaster has it in for our band of heroes, and decides to pit them against a Greater Good-forsaken Carnifex (a Tyranid attack beast roughly analogous to a tank, and looks like a Giant Enemy Crab designed by Khorne on an especially bad day) as their first excersize. If not for Johnson and his BFG, they'd be paste.
  • Wise Beyond Their Years: The Druchii baby somehow knew that plugging Johnson's helmet into an imperial cogitator would summon the Angels of Death, and that he should do this right before the cadre enters the webway gate so the Space Marines will kill the druchii who tried to kill him, while missing their real target: Johnson himself.
  • Would Not Hurt A Child: Seargant Johnson adopted a baby druchii that the Archon tried to feed to a pack of wolf-like aliens. He's also considered Traitoris Maximus for refusing to massacre some heretic kids (forgot the Imperium's just the least-evil faction instead of the heroes, did you?).
  • Writing Around Trademarks: The world is pretty obviously Warhammer 40,000 but any name that is Games Workshop copyright gets extra letters added on. "Eldar" and "Space Marine" are not GW copyright, despite what they claim.

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