Web Video / Wizards with Guns

Wizards with Guns is a Sketch Comedy channel on YouTube.

The channel and all of its videos can be seen on their YouTube channel here and Patreon here.

Not to be confused with Wizard with a Gun.

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Tropes present in Wizards with Guns:

• Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?: Ruby Ranch and Titus Diamondhook agree to confess their sins after foolishly pulling the pins on their grenades, both seemingly about to admit the same thing. Ranch confesses to stealing money from the church only to be blindsided when Titus instead confesses to peeing in the baptism pool before dunking people under.
• Armored Closet Gay: Implied by Ruby Ranch and Titus Diamondhook. They panic at the accusation of being gay for loving someone else who is gay, respond to seeing mistletoe and touching hands under it by trying to tear it down in a panic, and are married to women that look exactly like each other (and it's all but stated that Titus' wife was his councilor at a conversion "therapy" camp).
• Bilingual Dialogue: Literally Every Conversation in Star Wars parodies the tendency of characters in Star Wars to do this, showing an alien bar full of different creatures having these conversations...and one table where the human can't understand a word his alien informant is saying. Even a protocol droid is stumped, its circuitry bursting into flame trying to translate just one sentence. This is because the alien is a food creature the actual informant ordered.
  Guyflyer: Normally, I completely understand my alien friends. I'll be like 'hey, Glubacca, what do you want for lunch?' and he'll be like 'Brrrrr,' and I'm like 'Ohh, oh great. Grapes! Grapes are good.' But you, you're like-
  The Spug: Masungo!
  Guyflyer: Exactly! What-what even is that?!
• Blessed with Suck: Almost every magic item sold on Horno's Magic Item Hole is this, either being enchanted with extremely minor benefits that don't provide any actual aid to the user, enchantments that actively harm the user in exchange for admittedly decent benefits, or in some cases enchantments that are just nonsensical. Not helping matters is that Horno seems to have a habit of testing these items on himself, or just using them without knowing which items he's actually testing.
  Horno: This Candle of Vorpal Storms will allow you to cast Knife Rain at will so long as it's lit. However, when it goes out you will forget your mom. Luckily I don't have a mom... *look of dawning realization*
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Subverted with Detective Sherbert Locksmith, who is hyped up as a prodigy due to his unusual “Brain Zone” ability, but spends most of his time being distracted by the “Goo Guy” from Sky High and fails to notice the killer conspicuously standing in the corner of the crime scene.
  • Subverted again with the almost identical psychic detective Chipp Langstrom, who is allowed to enter crime scenes and do whatever he wants with evidence because he apparently has a 100% success rating in predicting his cases. As it turns out, all of his predictions are "we don't solve this one," followed by the police giving up on the spot. He then “predicts” that he and the police are about to go do something frivolous like get lunch or watch a movie.
• Chekhov's Gun: Parodied in This guy's STILL selling cursed magic items (and getting away with it) in which Horno's Magic Item Hole listed a literal loaded Chekhov's Gun for sale. Horno expresses confusion at the name, and proceeds to put it on a stand directly pointed at his face. Later subverted when Horno shoots the gun to get a cork out of Lethario's Lidless Bottle, only to completely shatter the bottle with the cork still plugged in the intact lid.
  • The previous episode featured a less literal Chekhov's Gun with the Boomerang of Suspenseful Return, which Horno throws early in the episode thinking it's the Boomerang of Non-Retrieval. The only things listed about it are that it returns when least expected, and that it's sharp. Sure enough, it appears just before the episode ends, popping out of a birthday present.
• Corrupted Character Copy: Captain Bible from This Christian Batman Knockoff is Worse than You Think is an obvious spoof of Bibleman. While Bibleman is a devout Christian who tries to use his hero visage to proselytize the youth and save them from colorful supervillains, Captain Bible is more like a Punisher-esq Fundamentalist who uses guns, grenade launchers, and lightsabers to brutally murder his villains. Since his villains are just like Bibleman's villains (wearing bright neon and encouraging kids to lie and steal), Captain Bible's methods are definitely overkill. Oh, and he doesn't even quote the verses besides saying the contents and when he does, it's clearly incorrect (for example, he says that "the LORD sees all" is from "Filipino 4:12"^note 1) it's Philippians and 2) the quote is from Proverbs 5:21), and/or incorrectly applying them to a situation.
• Elephant in the Living Room: Played for laughs in It's 4am. You wake up to this on TV., where the two salesmen try to sell pants (and later shirts) while visibly trying to ignore the multitudes of ridiculously long penises on all the featured display mannequins.
• Even Evil Has Standards: In This Christian Batman Knockoff is Worse than You Think, Captain Bible tries to murder Deceptor with assault rifles, bombs and grenade launchers for basically encouraging bad habits in a kid. Deceptor is quick to point out that he's firing a gun within range of the very kid the hero intends to save.
  Deceptor: Why are you shooting? Aren't you supposed to, like, pray at me or quote a Bible verse?
  Captain Bible: John 3:16. [Starts firing at Deceptor]
• Felony Misdemeanor: In The Purge, But This Time Everything's ILLEGAL, everything is made into a crime and the police start assaulting and arresting people literally for no good reason. At the end of the video, a cop was willing to shoot the unarmed protagonist if The Flurge hadn't ended that very second.
• Fictional Video Game: The titular game from The Sh*ttiest Fighting Game of ALL Time is Fight Boys 4, a Mortal Kombat parody where one of the characters is Mitch, a wimp who spends his time whining on the toilet, doesn't move and gets beaten in one hit.
• Freeze-Frame Introduction: Parodied and played for laughs to its fullest in EVERY "Meet the Crew" Scene in Heist Movies. Not only all characters (apart from Donnie initially) acknowledged their introduction's existence, but it also reveals some unwanted facts and secrets amongst them.
  • Kuck Truckler's introduction reveals his illiteracy, although he does a poor job hiding that.
  • Birds Onestone's introduction reveals him to be an undercover cop.
  • Guam Dotcom's introduction foretold his death^note Guam's eventual death also has a freeze-frame.
  • Vanessa Punt's introduction reveals her as Donnie's mistress... right next to Donnie's wife Sahara.
  • Donnie and Vanessa's extramarital expecting baby gets its own introduction.
  • Donnie's unfortunate introduction revealed that he "already sh*t his pants" from fear.
• The Fundamentalist: Captain Bible from This Christian Batman Knockoff is Worse than You Think is a Christian superhero who dishes out lethal force for admittedly minor infractions based off of his religious views, including encouraging a kid to lie to their parents, taking the Lord's name in vain and "making [him] gay." Furthermore, he's also blind to his own hypocrisies by trying to commit extra-judicial murder (thus breaking the sixth commandment; "thou shall not kill"^note though the more accurate translation is "thou shall not murder"), drinking to excess and justifying it by saying that "Jesus drank wine too", and misquoting the Bible-verses numerous times and incorrectly applying them.
• Gag Penis: It's 4am. You wake up to this on TV. has a pair of shopping network salesmen trying to describe the pants they're selling, only to realize that every single mannequin has a ridiculously long penis left completely apparent due to the tight pants. They struggle through the sales pitch, trying to get the camera to stop focusing on the crotches, but finally give up and when they see that the backs also have a Gag Penis (and that the shorts have ones so long that they stick out of the leg.) They move on to shirts...and see that the shirts ALSO have them.
  Chipper: It's not very roomy, but it's...flattering.
  Tolby: Certainly not flattening. I think we should move on!
  Chipper: I also think that!
• Gender-Inverted Trope: The title character in Why Male Karens are WAY Worse is, you guessed it, a male Karen.
• Greedy Televangelist: Rev. Ruby Ranch and Pastor Titus Diamondhook from the "G" is for Jesus series use their televangelism to sell overpriced garbage, including everything that's "complementary" or "free". In their Christmas episode, they hold a fundraiser to help the starving kids of Lake Titicaca (called "Lake Peepeecaca" by Ruby Ranch), only to reveal at the end that only 10% is actually going to the kids...and that's as bibles.
• Honest John's Dealership: Bing Mexico and his brother Mexico are basically this, running kitschy local commercials trying desperately to hawk bizarre items and services, ranging from useless and overpriced to actively dangerous (in one case, a live bomb that was counting down). They don't seem to be scamming people intentionally, they just have terrible sense with money and no idea what they're doing.
• Implausible Deniability: Mike from The Mysterious Case of Who Sh*t My Pants claims that he was "framed" when he shits his pants and spends the whole video trying to "find out" who really shit his pants in the guise of a Hardboiled Detective.
• Joke Character: Mitch from Fight Boys 4 is a wimp pooping on the toilet who can't move, speaks exclusively in whining, is beaten in one hit and literally dies of fright, shitting himself in the process. If the player loses with him and goes back to character select, they'll see that he's still on the toilet, dead.
• Kitschy Local Commercial: As the channel frequently parodies 90s TV programming, this pops up occasionally.
  • Bing Mexico and his brother Mexico sell a variety of weird and often dangerous items and services, rarely with good outcomes. So far we've seen them selling sand castles for the price of real houses, a service that has them assault the client's spouse so the buyer can pretend to be a hero, a live bomb with an active countdown (and a two for one deal), and a big microwave to step inside when you're cold that fries Bing's brain after he stayed in it for one second too long.
  • Horno's Magic Item Hole is a shopping channel program in a fantasy universe, and features the beleaguered salesman trying to hawk worthless, weird and actively detrimental magic items, and frequently suffering the ill effects of said items.
• Nerdy Nasalness: Damon from the DnD episode of G is for Jesus has this kind of voice, though he’s quite capable of dropping it when getting into character.
• Noir Episode: Most of The Mysterious Case of Who Sh*t My Pants is in black and white and Mike spends most of the video dressed like an anachronistic Hardboiled Detective.
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: The Secretary from What I'm Actually Doing When I Say "I'm Busy" refuses to let Mr. Mueller see Mr. Henderson, insisting that he's "very busy" even when it's clear that he isn't. Even when he points out that he made an appointment and when the boss tries to wave him in, the Secretary won't let him through. She even staples his tie to the desk to keep him from getting through when Henderson starts choking.
• Our Presidents Are Different: Lunatic. In What Would Happen If You Vote for the "Other Guy", the President declares his first act as president is to fire all of the US's nukes onto everyone before he even gives the Oath of Office. He doesn't even give a reason, just a list of places he wants to drop them on, including Atlantis and the US itself.
• Phlebotinum-Induced Stupidity: Comes in the form of the TV caster role in How it feels typing anything with a remote., reducing anyone of reasonable intelligence that attempt to search up a YouTube video on their TV to an incohorent stammering moron that could barely use the remote or follow basic guides.
• Plain Palate:
  • Taken to extremes in Every Hot Ones Episode Ever.. In a parody of Hot Ones, the interviewee, Terry, reacts to the mildest salsa as though he were eating pure magma. The interviewer Hot Juan tries giving him a slice of bread and later a glass of milk, only for those things to be even more spicy to him. When Terry's overreactions become too much for him, Juan literally tries bribing him to stop, only for Terry to eat that.
  • Every BuzzFeed Video that has Ever Existed goes even further, being a parody of Buzzfeed's White People Try X videos, with the stereotypically white person in question trying air. He too considers it far too spicy for his tastes, asks how "you people" can do it, declares he probably won't try it again, and promptly dies of asphyxiation. That said, he seemed to be breathing just fine beforehand, even taking multiple deep breaths to prepare for one deep breath, so he may have just recognized his breathing for the first time and given up on it.
• Real Trailer, Fake Movie:
  • Every "Comedy" From the Early 2000's is a trailer for American Weed Trip: The Car Road Trip Edition, Weed Edition, an Affectionate Parody of Stoner Flicks from the Aughties.
  • Guy Fieri Directed a Movie (and no one's talking about it) is a trailer for Sauce, a thriller about a pasta chef keeping his sauce recipe from The Mafia.
• Running Gag:
  • Mageus the Honorable Wizard calls Frank and Mitch "little twinks" in most sketches starring him.
  • G is for Jesus has several, such as the televangelists crying out to their production assistant Daniel, subtitles flagrantly misspelling Bible passages and books, or Ruby and Titus' homosexual implications, to name a few.
    • Daniel himself appears in a large amount of other Wizards With Guns videos, is almost always wildly out of place in the sketch, and often in sketches that couldn't possibly take place in the same world (he appears in a Star Wars parody, for one.)
  • Horno's Magic Item Hole features some items that can be traded with specific items beside money purchase.
  • The JCS parody sketches feature at least one character mentioning the movie Breaking Bad.
• Shovel Strike: Shovel Man from They Said This Superhero was too "Shovel-Themed" for the Avengers is a super-hero that's deadly-proficient with a shovel, managing to defeat a group of heavily armed criminals with nothing but his shovel.
• Super-Fun Happy Thing of Doom: Inverted with the Bloodsworn Chalice of Ükshaar Sz'voth: Horno "sells" it well enough:
  Horno: This is the Bloodsworn Chalice of Ükshaar Sz'voth: Breaker of Nations, Melter of Kings, made the Nightborne quiver at the utterance of his name, may the songs of his deeds carry across the razor winds of the Breach... This one makes anything inside it sort of taste like banana milk... This one's not for sale.
• Somebody Set Up Us the Bomb: Trying to Sell a Bomb BEFORE it EXPLODES! has Bing Mexico and his brother Mexico trying to sell a live bomb with a ten minute countdown...that's already running. They exclaim that it's impossible to disarm and are desperate to sell it before they die in the blast. Near the end of the commercial, they reveal they have a two for one deal...because they now have a second bomb on the same timer.
• The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: In Saving a Man’s Life… for the WRONG Reason, three different people have this as their stated reason for wanting the titular character not to commit suicide.
• Too Dumb to Live: In Megachurch Pastors Try to Predict the Apocalypse, Ruby Ranch accidentally pulls the pin out of one of the grenades they're trying to sell as an "intrusive thought." When Titus Diamondhook tries taking the other grenade out of his other hand to keep him from doing it again, he winds up taking the pin out of the other grenade, forcing the both of them to take turns on holding the grenade's levers down to keep them from exploding. It, of course, never occurs to either of them to put the pins back in.
• Unexplained Recovery: Reverend Ruby Ranch has died multiple times on G is for Jesus, so this trope was in play at least once.
• Wham Shot: The ending of Let's circle back on that., where the camera pans out to reveal the meeting room of celebrating employees was actually taken place in the World Trade Center in 2001. Just seconds later, Mr. Henderson rewarded the employees with a day off of work tomorrow, which the caption updates that this meeting was on September 10th.

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