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Web Video / The VelociPastor

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Sometimes the prayers become the prey

The VelociPastor is a short, faux grindhouse trailer made by BrendanSteere. Released to YouTube in 2011, whereafter it was featured on numerous blogs and screened on G4's Attack of the Show!.

It was adapted into a feature film in 2019.

This work provides examples of:

  • Lampshaded Double Entendre: "What are you gonna do?" "What I do best." Cue makeout.
  • Large Ham: The mafia boss.
    "I don't care what this thing is, or where it came from, it's carved a path through most of my men! I want this thing FOUND and I want it DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"
  • Painful Transformation: The kindly pastor transforms into a dinosaur, hands first, while writhing in pain and staring at himself in horror in his apartment mirror.
  • Sinister Minister: Unwittingly, after transforming into a dinosaur the pastor eats people on the streets before targeting criminals.
  • Stylistic Suck: A boom mic comes egregiously into shot at 1:45.