A three-part abridged series of the Sonic the Hedgehog OVA by The Rollin Nolan, started on July 28th, 2016 and finished on June 26th, 2017. Originally a oneshot for #TIBA and won 19th place overall.
Sonic the Abridgehog provides examples of:
- And the Adventure Continues: How the OVA ends.
- All Love Is Unrequited: Calling it "love" is a bit generous. But Knuckles and Robotnik both want to get it on with Sera... who only has eyes for Sonic... who has absolutely no interest in dating a human.
- Berserk Button: Metal's imitation of Sonic leaves Sonic himself dumbstruck. Then adding, "Oh, and I'm thinking of buying a Super Nintendo," pisses off Sonic enough to make him instantly attack.
- Brown Note: Tails breaks Metal's mind by transmitting files into his mainframe—material too horrible for any mind to contemplate. It's a bunch of bad Sonic fanart from DeviantArt.
- Buffy Speak: "Just help me with my dilemma, or these two get robotted to death or something."
- Conjoined Eyes: Exaggerated. When Sonic first hears that everyone thinks Sera is his girlfriend, his eyes whip to the side so hard that both his pupils appear inside his right eye.
- Combat Sadomasochist: Metal.Metal: (as he's choking Sonic) Aw c'mon hot stuff—if we're supposed to be the same, then how come one of us doesn't enjoy getting choked?
- Cool Hat: Knuckles has one and lampshades it.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Tails spends the first half of the movie being a complete idiot. But after Sonic loses the first fight against Metal, Tails suddenly comes up with a plan to give Sonic the edge in the next fight—and it actually works.
- Curse Cut Short:Old Man: WHAT UP MY NI- (cut to next scene)
- Cute, but Cacophonic: Tails, especially when he screams.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Knuckles gets into an argument with the President, and threatens some Disproportionate Retribution.Knuckles: I don't give a f[bleep] who you are! You disrespected me! I'ma hunt you down and rip your lungs out through your asshole, asshole! No one will know who did it! You'll die alone, and I'll watch your funeral from afar, laughing my ass off, ya hear me?
- The Ditz: Tails.
- Doom Magnet: South Island.Narrator: A place where the Sun always shines, the breeze is always perfect, and for some reason, every goddamn pilot who flies over it decides to crash here.
[Insert still of the numerous wrecks on South Island.]
Narrator: Still not sure which of these is more out-of-place: the Starship Enterprise or the train.
- Double Take: "Hey, the smoke is beginning to clear out! I can see you, Tails and the other you just fi— Wait a minute."
- Driven to Suicide: Metal.Metal: Death is my only salvation... Potty-man...
- Enemy Mine: Robotnik tries to invoke this, with his story about Metal Robotnik menacing Robotropolis. But Sonic has no reason to care.President: But Sonic! Robotropolis will be destroyed if Metal Robotnik isn't stopped. Don't you know what this means?
Sonic: Yeah. Robotnik will be both homeless and unable to create any more murderbots. There's nothing really at stake for us here.
- Failed a Spot Check:Tails: How are we supposed to find Robotropolis now? It could be anywhere in the city! Finding it would be impossible!
Sonic: Found it.
Tails: What, over there? I can't see anything past that bright light shaped like Robotnik.
Knuckles: Aaaaugh! Where the hell did this hat come from?!
- After wearing a hat for two-thirds of the movie, Knuckles finally notices:
- Falling Damage: Defied. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are completely immune to falling damage, as Sonic himself points out.
- Fartillery: Metal Robotnik's Butt Cannon.Sonic: You weren't serious about that Butt Cannon thing, were you—
[Metal Robotnik turns around.]
Sonic: Oh, God, no...
[Fart sound. Massive explosion.]
- Faux Horrific: Seeing that Metal Sonic turned Old Man Totally Radical is what convinces Knuckles and Tails that Metal must be stopped.Knuckles: I take it back. Metal Sonic is a much bigger threat to the planet than we thought.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Text very briefly appears above Sera's head when Tails accidentally grabs her chest. It reads, "What the f*** you smiling for?" Because, yes, Sera is smiling.
- Gilligan Cut: Sonic makes it absolutely clear that he's not going to save Robotropolis. Robotnik threatens to drop Sera off at Sonic's house. Cut to Sonic and Tails, flying to Robotropolis.
- Groin Attack: Sonic lands crotch-first on Robotnik's eggmobile. It even gets a grayscale freeze-frame and a voiceover:Sonic: And you thought we were kidding about the invisi-dick, didn't you?
- Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: They can get away with wearing no pants because their penises are invisible.
- Hand Wave: So, why does Knuckles show up?Tails: Oh, hey, Knuckles. What are you doing here?
Knuckles: Oh, you know. Knuckles stuff.
- Interactive Narrator: The cartoon opens with a voiceover claiming to be Sonic's internal monologue. But...Narrator: How about I introduce myself? But chances are, you've probably heard of me already: Sonic the hedg—
Sonic: Who said that?!
Narrator: Oh shit, he heard me! Everyone bail!
[A few seconds of cacophony as the narrator and several others flee from the recording booth.]
Sonic: Huh. Okay, then, I'll just pretend that didn't happen and get back to my nap...
- Interspecies Romance:
- A running gag. Sonic is clearly disturbed by the thought of dating Sera, but she and her dad seem to think Sonic's already her boyfriend.
- Knuckles, on the other hand, totally wants to bang her.
- And Sera herself is half-cat, leading to some awkward implications. Her dad insists, several times "I did not [bleep] a cat!"
- Lame Pun Reaction:Metal: Hey, you wanna see something cool?
Sonic: Uh, no thanks.
Metal: Oh, come on, I'm sure it's something you'll get a real kick out of.
[Metal pulls his leg back for a kick.]
Sonic: Oh, boooooo!
[Metal rotates his leg even farther back.]
[Metal kicks. Sonic goes flying.]
- Lampshade Hanging: Sonic does this often, though Knuckles joins in on occasion."... wait, how did this happen?"
- Long List: The end of the video features a list of all the questions that were never answered in the OVA (and a few from Sonic himself).Why do ships always crash on South Island?
How did the Starship Enterprise and a train crash on South Island?
Why are there flying islands on Planet Freedom?
Where did those voices narrating my life on South Island come from?
Why does Planet Freedom have a president?
Why does the president keep throwing himself in danger?
Why does the president have a cat-daughter?
Did the president f*** a cat?
CAN a human f*** a cat?
Why is the president's cat-daughter horny for me?
Why is Knuckles horny for the president's cat-daughter?
Why was Knuckles wearing a hat?
Was Robotnik's story about Metal Robotnik overthrowing him REALLY the best story he could think of?
Why did the president think it would be a bad thing if Robotropolis was destroyed?
How did Tails and I teleport in the Land of Darkness?
How did Tails and Knuckles teleport out of the Land of Darkness?
How did Robotnik and the cat-daughter teleport here?
Why did Metal Robotnik have a butt-cannon?
What the f*** did Metal Sonic do to that old man?
Did Robotnik really do all of this so he could pork the president's daughter?
How does a glacier keep the Land of the Sky from flying into space?
How has that glacier not melted from sitting on top of a magma river for so long?
Why we have invisidicks?
Why is Robotnik's "ultimate weapon" a flying turtle?
Did I get the high score in "Whack-A-Knux?"
DeviantArt. ...Just DeviantArt. Seriously, WTF?
- Mood Whiplash: Much like the source material, this version stops cracking jokes just long enough to make the ending scene with Metal Sonic's suicide much more serious and dramatic than anything else in the movie.
- Never Heard That One Before: As Robotnik introduces his greatest weapon, Hyper Metal Sonic:
- Obvious Trap: Sonic is not fooled for one second by Robotnik's story about Robotropolis being menaced by a mysterious robot named Metal Robotnik.Sonic: Metal Robotnik. The mysterious robot that came out of nowhere and took over your home is called... Metal Robotnik.
Robotnik: Yes, that's correct.
Sonic: Do you think I'm an idiot, Robotnik?! This is so obviously a trap!
- Oh My Gods!: Because Chaos is everyone's deity on Planet Freedom, apparently.Sonic: For the love of Chaos, I told you before...
- Parrot Expo What:Radio: Also, another ship is about to crash into South Island.
Sonic: Another what now?
- Poke the Poodle: Knuckles and Tails aren't impressed with Metal Sonic's rampage across South Island. (That is, until they see what Metal did to Old Man Hoot...)Knuckles: So... This is what Hyper Metal Sonic's wrath looks like... Does it look that bad to you, Tails?
Tails: No, it's not that bad at all. I mean, it's the plane that Sonic and I live in, and it doesn't have a scratch on it.
- Rapid-Fire Interrupting: When Tails tries to argue in favor of helping Robotnik, Sonic won't let him get a word in edgewise. "But Sonic—" "Nope!"
- Retirony: Metal Sonic comes to destroy South Island, and happens to run into Old Man Hoot while he's there.Old Man Hoot: Maybe I should move here. My grandkids would love it, it's not too far from the Holy Church of St. Chaos, it's a great location to open a new home for the starving orphans I care for, and I'm just two days away from retirement! It's the perfect place for an innocent elderly bystander such as myself. Wouldn't you agree, you shadowy-looking gentleman over there?
Metal: You know, I was only here for the island. But after hearing all that, I feel obligated to include you, too.
- Subverted in that he only knocked him out. He later comes back with a Totally Radical new look.
- Running Gag:
- Metal's suggestive language and constant flirting with Sonic.
- The invisi-dicks.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud:
- Sonic says his own sound effects for his spin attack: "Blblblblblblblblblblblblblbl... Hut hut hut jump jump jump jump!"
- Sonic and Tails fake scream their fall, but say "splash" at the end.
- "Dolphin noises!"
- Screw Yourself: Downplayed. While he's not an exact copy of Sonic and nothing happens between them, Metal is clearly attracted to Sonic.
- Something We Forgot: After the first meeting with Metal Sonic, Tails and Knuckles fly back to South Island—completely forgetting to bring Sonic with them.
- Stop Copying Me: At Sonic and Metal Sonic's second showdown, Metal completely wrecks the mood by copying everything Sonic says in a snotty voice.Sonic: Are you trying to mimic me?
Metal: Are you trying to mimic me?
Sonic: Cut that out.
Metal: Cut that out.
Sonic: You're being very immature right now.
Metal: You're being very immature right now.
Sonic: Stop it!
Metal: Stop it!
Sonic: I mean it!
Metal: I mean it!
Sonic: Come on, this is really getting old!
Metal: Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! Oh, look at me, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog! I run super fast and eat nothing but chili dogs all day! I also got a whiny-voiced sidekick and make stupid noises when I spin dash AND EVERYTHING IS JUST WAY PAST COOL! HUH?! HUH?! HUUUUUUUUUAGH?!
- Tempting Fate: Often.
Sonic: Yup! I think it's safe to say that from here on out, nothing bad is ever. Going. To happen. Aaaaaaaa-gain.
- At the very start.
Radio: The president has been kidnapped!
Sonic: Of course he was!
Tails: Don't worry, Sonic! With the skies this clear, we' ll be able to finish the job in no ti-
- During the flight to Robotropolis.
(cut to the plane crashing down in a thunderstorm)
Tails: WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME, SKY?!
Sonic: Look, this was fun and all, but we have to hurry to that robot-generator and there's no way you' ll be able to keep up with-
- During the fight against Metal Robotnik.
(Metal Robotnik throws off his cape, revealing a pair of wings)
Sonic: (hushed) Let's just get out of here before he figures out he didn't kill us...
- After Sonic and Tails get thrown off a bridge.
(Metal Robotnik looks over the edge of the bridge, right at them)
Sonic: Please tell me he didn't just see us...
Tails: Hold on, lemme check. (looks over his shoulder) Oh. Uhhh...
Sonic: He sees us?
Tails: Yeah, he sees us.
Tails: How are we supposed to find Robotropolis now, it could be anywhere in this city, finding it would be impossible!
- When looking for Robotropolis.
Sonic: Found it.
Sonic: (sighs) It's finally over. The generator is off, Robotropolis is safe, and we can all go ho-
- After turning off the generator.
(scanner turns on)
Knuckles: I'm sure Sonic's fine.
- Knuckles might have a little too much faith in Sonic.
(cut to Sonic getting the shit kicked out of him by Metal)
Sonic: (lands on the edge of a canyon) Hey, I'm okay! (collapses) Shit.
- Sonic might have a little too much faith in himself.
Sonic: Why does this guy keep throwing himself in danger whenever I'M ready to RELAX?! CAN THE STAKES GET ANY HIGHER FROM HERE?!
- When the president crashes his shuttle into the glacier.
(shuttle catches fire)
Sonic: At least I saved the world again. And my suffering is finally over...
- Sonic should really stop talking.
Sara: Hey Sonic, you wanna go see a movie when we get back to the capital? (pokes him over and over) Huh? Huh? Sonic? You wanna go? You wanna? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Tails: Aww! You two make such a cute couple?
Robotnik: Goddamn slut!
Sonic: There is nothing good left in this world, is there?
- Totally Radical: Old Man Hoot after Metal did... something to him. He dresses in bright pink and talks like an unholy mix of Pretty Fly for a White Guy and Surfer Dude. Basically, the ultimate 90's whiteboi.Old Man: What up, players. Yo, dawg, you missed the gnarliest-looking homeboy last night! Motherf[bleep]er was straight up twisted! Trashed the whole island in nothin' flat and knocked me out cold. Best wipeout of my life, if you ask me! Because it made me realize—I need to get some rockin' new threads and catch up with the times, ya hear?
- Trade Snark:Robotnik: I call him Hyper Metal Sonic. Trademark, Robotic Empire, 1996.
Tails: He's got a trademark? We're in big trouble now!
- We Will Meet Again: As Metal Robotnik is retreating:Metal Robotnik: Mark my words, Sonic the Hedgehog—we will meet again! Ahahahahahaha...
[Sonic spin-attacks straight through his torso.]
Metal Robotnik: Oh.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Sonic's really scared of drowning. When the concrete starts sinking into water, with Sonic still glued to it, he goes into a panic attack.
- Wrong Genre Savvy:Metal Robotnik: I mean, really, hedgehog, did you think this was some sort of cartoon?
[Tails jumps in front of Metal Robotnik's face.]
Tails: Beep beep!
[Metal Robotnik tries to hit Tails, but just punches himself in the face.]
[Insert Looney Tunes-style ending screen, reading "That's NO Good!"]
- Upon hearing that Metal Sonic is planning to melt the ice caps, the President realizes that would raise the sea level and flood the planet. Knuckles calls him an idiot for thinking that, then explains the real danger: melting the ice caps would cause Planet Freedom's Floating Continents to break away and fly into space. Obviously.