Final Fantasy In a Nutshell is an Abridged Series by Rabtoons parodying the spine-shatteringly popular Final Fantasy series of video games. Initially starting out as simple shorts dating as far back as 2013, RABtoons decided to go all out in 2018 and cover every main numbered game in the series to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the franchise. It's currently planned for the series to cover each game all the way up to Final Fantasy XV, with some sequels and spinoffs teased but nothing confirmed.
Each episode is comprised of many short sketches that poke fun at everything each game has to offer, from the plot, the characters, and the game mechanics. Expect a ton of Black Comedy, adult humor, a lot of Comedic Sociopathy, and the complete absence of a fourth wall. Starting with the V Nutshell, a separate plot was introduced featuring Edge, Gordon and Yuffie, who form a team called "The Outcasts" after they were all missing from their own parodies, and find themselves getting involved in a much larger struggle that threatens the existence of their worlds.
Aside from the main Nutshell parodies, other episodes can be found on RABtoon's YouTube Channel.
Considering that this series covers each game's plot and doesn't hesitate to poke fun at the biggest spoilers within each one, all spoilers are unmarked. Proceed at your own risk.
Games given the Nutshell treatment
- Final Fantasy 1
- Final Fantasy II
- Final Fantasy III
- Final Fantasy IV
- Final Fantasy V
- Final Fantasy VI
- Final Fantasy VII
- Final Fantasy VII Remake (April Fool's Episode)
- Crisis Core
- Final Fantasy VIII
- Final Fantasy IX
- Final Fantasy X
- Final Fantasy XI
- Final Fantasy XII
- Final Fantasy XIII
- Final Fantasy XIV
- (Behind The Light episodes for Hyurbert, Eliza, Lalafelon and Roechelle; Part 1, 2)
- Final Fantasy XV
- Dissidia Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy In a Nutshell contains the following tropes:
- Absurdly Long Wait: In XIV Behind the Light for Roechelle, she suffers the long wait of DPS queues and has to go all the way to the back of the line while a healer just jumps right ahead. And by "back of the line" she goes to Northern Thanalan...to Ishgard...to the Moon...to Amaurot which on a whole nother dimension with a cameo by Emet-Selch!
- Aborted Arc: Crisis Core brings up how the Sequel Hook in that game and even from Dirge of Cerberus has been left unresolved as of 2021.
- Actor Allusion: When Tidus and Wakka meet each other in X in a Nutshell, they find each other's voices rather familiar.Tidus: ...Touche.
- Adaptational Personality Change: Everyone for the sake of Rule of Funny. Mostly in the Jerkass department, and most of the guys take a massive boost in their perversion stat.
- Adaptational Dumbass: In XIV Part 1, Rhitahtyn is this due to not having much characterization in the game outside of "giant mook."
- Adaptational Wimp: VIII has Squall react to getting his signature scar from Seifer by telling on him to Quistis, who puts him on the naughty stool.
- Adapted Out: Played with. Some of the major players are completely absent from their game's parodies. Edge arrives a full game late of his with Gordon alongside him, which starts "The Outcasts" subplot.
- Adobe Flash: The program used to animate the shorts.
- Aerith and Bob: In XV, Gladiolus complains about the Bob about this trope.Gladiolus: "Ugh. In a Final Fantasy with names like Gladio, Ignis, Ardyn, Noctis, Prompto and Lunafreya, we get weirdos like oh, Jared, it's good to see ya!"
- Affectionate Parody: It's clear that RABtoons has a lot of love for the series, and doesn't mind tearing it apart for laughs.
- All Men Are Perverts: Virtually every guy gets a massive upgrade in perversion and make no attempt to hide that and their love for boobs. Heck, if there's a monster with boobs, no matter how inhuman it looks, chances are the heroes are going to point out that they'd still hit it.
(Marilith comes in laughing evilly)Thief: I am not gonna lie, guys. I'd totally hit that.Warrior: Yeah, I'd hit it.White Mage: Me, too!Black Mage: Meh.
Hilda: Firion! Come to me! I must have you!Firion: Sweet! I knew you'd give in eventually.(Hilda suddenly transforms into a Lamia Queen)Lamia Queen: Ha ha ha ha ha! Now you are mine!Firion: Oh...kay, it's a bit kinky, but I can dig it. (unzips pants)
(Scylla appears)Lunneth: What the hell is that!? A six-headed wolf centaur with... tits? ... Hot.Refia: What is wrong with you!?
(Yunalesca goes into her final form against Tidus, Yuna, and Lulu)Tidus: Not gonna lie. I'd still hit that.
Minfillia lords over that her boobs are bigger than anything the breast slider will give.
- XIV Part 1
(The Warriors of Light are fighting Garuda)
- XIV Part 2
Garuda: Mwa-ha-ha! Behold my bodacious rack and weep for you cannot adjust your character's breasts to be as big as mine!
Hyurbert: In time honored Final Fantasy tradition, ladies and gentlemen, I would totally hit that!
Lalafelon: Ew, what the f*ck is wrong with you?
Eliza: Disgusting, bro! She's covered in feathers!
Roechelle: (I also express my disgust...in German!)
Hyurbert: I stand by my word. (The party proceeds to Vote Kick him) Waitasecond don't—! (And he's gone)
Cindy is literally just a walking, talking pair of breasts that even she calls out how stupid the joke is.
- Alt-itis: Invoked with XIV Behind the Light for Eliza, which has her say she's made so many of these for the game she's lost count. In fact, she has an alt for each race and gender. In one case, she comes over to Lalafelon as a male roegadyn.
- Ambidextrous Sprite: The art style can cause this to happen. It's mostly apparent with Don Corneo, whose "love" tattoo reads backwards if he's facing right. This is actually averted with Red XIII's head, but played straight with his body.
- Ambiguous Syntax:
- Cloud tries pulling this kind of joke in the VII parody when Barret's talking about Midgar's upper plate.Barret: It's 'cause of that damn pizza that people underneath are suffering.Cloud: Then people should stop ordering pizza.Barret: (smacks Cloud in the head) Don't be a smartass, spiky.
- Edge pulls this after the X parody.Edge: Yuffie, revive the Thief.Yuffie: Roger!Edge: No, not Roger. Thief!Gordon: Don't... don't make stupid jokes like that, man.
- Cloud tries pulling this kind of joke in the VII parody when Barret's talking about Midgar's upper plate.
- Amnesiac Hero: The cast of the first game don't have any memories of who they are and freak out when they realize this. It's because they don't have any backstories to go back on that explains why they have the crystals to begin with.
- And Now For Something Completely Different:
- Squall says this word-for-word when the focus switches to Laguna for the first time.
- In Dissidia, Luneth is this representing III instead of Onion Knight.
- Anything but That!: XIV Part 2 has Eliza realize Minfillia's gonna say her Catchphrase after the boardroom meeting in Ul'dah.Minfillia: (grabbing a megaphone) Pray return to the Waking Sands. Gods, I've missed saying that.
- April Fools' Day: The date the Onion Knight Edition of the III Nutshell aired, which turned out to be a rehash of the III parody except with Onion Knights replacing Luneth and his party and very minor dialogue changes to reflect this. The soundtrack for the DS version was used and a new scene was added featuring Goldor. The video was later removed after RABtoons was threatened with demonitization.
- Their Final Fantasy VII Remake Nutshell is the exact VII episode with a bloom filter but with Sephiroth as a Funny Background Event until it gets to the end with "Insert stupid Kingdom Hearts nonsense here" where Zack's last stand in Crisis Core has every soldier now graduate the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. After the credits, it says April Fools and the rest of the video is all Sephiroth dancing and singing "What's up with that?"
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
Vayne: People of Rabanastre, you may hate me...
- This bit happens in XII during Vayne's first speech.
Woman: Eat a dick!
Man: Who does your hair? It's fabulous!
- Luna's death scene in XV gets this treatment. First, Ardyn stabs her, then Sephiroth comes in and mocks him for such an amateur kill, showing him how it's done with his infamous downward katana thrust. Golbez insists that's still not good enough, that There Is No Kill Like Overkill, and uses Meteor on her. Exdeath comes in to make it double, and casts a barrage of spells similar to what he used on Galuf. Then Kefka wants to join in the fun, and just tosses her into the ocean (for added points, he's shown himself capable of much worse in his game).
- Art Shift: Periodically. Some characters get more detailed for certain jokes, and the series also pokes fun at the instances found in the game themselves.(CGI scene in FFIX where Vivi shoots down an airship)Zidane: Wow, Vivi, why don't you do that more often?Vivi: Because it blew half our CGI budget. Now we have to fly to Lindblum using in-game graphics.(Airship shown flying to Lindblum on the world map using in-game polygon graphics)
- Atrocious Alias: In IX, when Garnet decides to give herself one, she decides to call herself "Dick Poop," which makes Zidane snicker before going with Dagger because he has one.
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Apparently, walking on the world map in the first game is perfectly to scale.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: After Sephiroth kills President Shinra, Cloud realizes he left the Masamune behind for anyone to take, but he gets distracted by a helicopter and runs after it.
- Awesome, but Impractical: The Emperor's Cyclone.Guard: Uh, sir, are you sure surrounding your fortress with a hurricane is such a good idea?Emperor: It's a freaking AWESOME idea!Guard: Um, no, not really. Bits of the castle keep breaking off, our men keep getting swept away and are falling to their deaths and Firion and his gang managed to find a way through anyway.(Beat)Emperor: Well, shit.
- Awesome Music: In-Universe with Lagunas theme, The Man With the Machinegun.Laguna: Time for the only thing people like from this game!(Laguna, Kiros, And Ward dance to The Man With the Machinegun)Laguna: Im Laguna, by the way.
- It happens again later.Laguna: Stop cutting to me just when the story gets interesting! Now, if youll excuse me, JAILBREAK RAVE!(Laguna, Kiros, And Ward dance to The Man With the Machinegun)
- It happens again later.
- The Bad Guy Wins:
- Kefka provides a demonstration to show the other villains in the franchise how to win. As long as it doesn't involve time travel, anywaynote . During the final battle, he knocks out an entire party at once, and since the other heroes can't jump in, they surrender.Edgar: Well, clearly there's no way we can step in. Give up? All hail Kefka? Yeah? Okay. We're all agreed.
- Sephiroth pulls an accidental one in VII. He blows up everything with Super Nova except the heroes. Since he overdid it and blew up their planet, they're stuck with each other for all eternity. More of a Pyrrhic Victory, really.
- Kefka provides a demonstration to show the other villains in the franchise how to win. As long as it doesn't involve time travel, anywaynote . During the final battle, he knocks out an entire party at once, and since the other heroes can't jump in, they surrender.
- Badly Battered Babysitter: Taking care of a bunch of orphaned children after Kefka destroys the world turns Terra into this. She's barely gotten any sleep and and her hygiene is so bad she has a five o'clock shadow.Edgar: Wow. Stuck looking after a bunch of kids. You really got the short end of the stick with this whole end of the world thing, huh?Terra: Kiiiilll meeeeeee....
- Bait-and-Switch: The Nutshell for XI turned out to be this, as the minute-long teaser shown previously ended up being the actual episode itself, while the remainder was another Outcasts episode.
- Baleful Polymorph: When the Warriors of Light cross a river.Warrior: We cross the river!(everyone jumps into the river and come up as a canoe)Black Mage: What the hell!?Thief: We turned into a canoe!?White Mage: I cant feel my legs!Warrior: THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE!
- Be a Whore to Get Your Man: During Aerith's Death Montage, it's shown that Tifa flashed her boobs at Cloud to try to get his attention off Aerith. It didn't work.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Lightning's excitement in the Archylte Steppe is very short-lived.Lightning: Well, it took three quarters of the game to get here, but we're finally not travelling in a straight line anymore, multiple paths lay before us, the world is our oyster. We can go wherever we want!(The party watches as a chocobo gets attacked and eaten and watch as Titan snacks on a Adamantoise)Sazh: I don't like it.Lightning: Let's get back to Cocoon as soon as possible.
- Becoming the Mask: Cloud dresses up as a girl to disguise himself as a new recruit for Don Corneo's brothel, but the two hit it off, Corneo proposes and Cloud accepts. When Aerith tries crashing the wedding, Cloud insists that Corneo's not like other men and he can change him.
- Big Bad Wannabe: Xande. Luneth and the others dont even give him a chance to fight them and send him away to join others like him.Xande: Mwahahahahaha! Your end is near, Warriors of Light!Luneth: Next!Xande: (shocked) But... but...Luneth: Youre not even the semi-final boss.Xande: I worked really hard-Luneth: OUT. SIDE.(Xande leaves dejected and sits with other big bad wannabes)note
- Big Eater: Gau can apparently eat enemies that are more than twice his size. In one bite.
- Big "WHY?!": Crisis Core has Zack let one out while grieving for Angeal's death.Aerith: "Okay dial it back, dude. He wasn't that good a character."
- Bittersweet Ending:
- In VI, with Kefka defeated, Celes is optimistic about the future ahead. Edgar reminds her that the world is still destroyed and countless monstrocities roam the world. Celes tells him they can rebuild, but Edgar tells her that it's the end of the game and needs to let it go. Roll the credits!
- In IX, the cast gets a fairy tale ending and lives Happily Ever After. "Oh, and Vivi died."
- Black Comedy: All over the place. Before starting the series, they made a parody of Aerith's death scene and turned it into a Valentine's Day video.Sephiroth: Baby, you pierced my heart, just like I pierced yours.Aerith: (Blood from the Mouth) Aww. (Dies)
- Black Comedy Rape:
- Implied when the underwater kiss between Tidus and Yuna ends up with her drowning, and Tidus decides to use the opportunity to take her lifeless body back underwater for some more.
- In XIII, from Hope's POV, Snow had his way with his mom before kicking her to her doom and shooting her with a machine gun to make sure that she was Deader Than Dead.
- Snow attempts this with Serah when she's in crystal stasis. He gets caught and knocked out before he can.
- Blank White Eyes: Used to indicate widened eyes, such as when a character is pissed off or shocked.
- Blessed with Suck: In III when Doga tells the backstory about himself and Unei, and that Xande was given the gift of mortality, Luneth can understand it.Luneth: "Geez, that's a really sh**y gift. No wonder he turned evil. Noah sounds like an as***le."
Doga: "You're an as***le"!
- "Blind Idiot" Translation: Parodied with a certain line from VII.Aerith: This guy are sick.Cloud: Yes he are, Aerith. Yes he are.
- Bond Villain Stupidity:
Exdeath: I will now waste this opportunity to wipe you out and flee. Again. Excelsior!
- In V, Exdeath points this out after revealing himself as the splinter.
Alphinaud: "Well it's a good thing he's just standing there, letting us get away, totally not going to backfire on him, you know? Wasting this opportunity to kill us. Cheese it!"
- XIV Part 2 has Alphinaud realize they can just leave without fighting Ultima Weapon early on.
(Gaius looks over and sees the Excelsior flying away)
Gaius: "Curse you, Gadget!"
- Book-Ends: In XV when Ardyn flies down with an Archadian ship.Ardyn: "Get in loser, we're going shopping. Hahaha. Another Mean Girls reference, like in Final Fantasy I in a Nutshell. Bookends and whatnot."
- Bribing Your Way to Victory: In Eliza's "Behind the Light," she comes up to Mother Mioune and slips her some money for a Story Skip to jump right to the part to where she gets to fight Gaius. He's not to thrilled about it and gets blown up. Minfillia is upset that she paid to skip Heavensward and has to spend eternity with Hydaelyn. Zenos gets the same call that she's skipping Stormblood..and then slices his throat.
- Brick Joke: In IX, Zidane writes down in the save book that Steiner gets "ass blasted" by Quina. By the end of it, it ends up being Beatrix doing the ass blasting to his delight.
- Bring My Brown Pants: Garnet has this problem in IX when Steiner realizes he didn't put any gysahl pickles in the bag. She's been in the same bag for days, so nature called eventually.
- Broken Record: Genesis is this with Loveless that he's smashing the book into Zack's face.
- Buffy Speak: When Cloud gets a laser to the stomach, he complains that he feels "bleedy".
- But Now I Must Go: Shadow pulls this in VI, "for gameplay balancing purposes".
- But Thou Must!:
- The Mysidian Elder is adamant about Cecil needing to become a paladin.Cecil: I need to get to Baron.Elder: You are tainted by the darkness. You must go to Mount Ordeals and become a Paladin!Cecil: No, I'm good. Just let me through.Elder: No. Become a Paladin. You're really sucky as a dark knight.Cecil: I'm sure I'll be fine, just let me through!Elder: Nope!Cecil: My friends are in serious danger! Just let me through!Elder: Become. A Paladin.Cecil: Okay, how about you let me through and I promise to become a Paladin later?Elder: No.Cecil: You suck!Elder: You a douchebag!
- In IX, when Vivi runs into Puck.Puck: Hey kid, I'll let you see the show if you become my slave.Vivi: Hell no. What kind of f***d up deal is that? I'll find my own way to see the show. (leaves, comes back a moment later) Okay, it seems I can't actually go anywhere else until I agree to your bulls***.
- The Mysidian Elder is adamant about Cecil needing to become a paladin.
- Butt-Monkey: Pretty much everyone, but special mention to Thief, Gordon, Edge, Edward, Bartz, Setzer, Tidus and Vaan.
- When Sephiroth declares his plan to use Meteor, Tellah's spirit appears to warn him that using it won't work and that it kills you halfway through the game. Sephiroth simply dismisses him as the "Spoony Bard guy" who only freed Kain from his brainwashing for five minutes.
- In the IX Outcasts segment and the Dissidia episode, the Thief and the Warrior refer to themselves as the names given to them in the first episode, Vagflaps and Gayface respectively.
- Calling Your Attacks: "Angelo Cannon!"
- The Cameo:
- Expect to see plenty of characters from different games appear in earlier parodies and even later episodes.
- Hilda's rebellion is comprised of several non-Final Fantasy characters (see Shout-Out below).
- During the cable grinding scene to stop Yuna and Seymour's wedding, Tidus spots Sonic the Hedgehog grinding on the other cable before knocking him off.
- Various characters from A New Hope appear in the XII Nutshell. Balthier still insists the plot of XII is nothing like Star Wars.
- Edgar appears in Eliza's "Behind the Light," but it's Hyurbert putting on an Edgar-themed glamour. Mog also appears as the preacher for her Eternal Bonding.
- After Zack dies in Crisis Core and his ghost is flying around, Galuf's ghost makes a cameo.
- In The Stinger to Crisis Core, an Arbiter of Fate appears behind Cloud after he grabs a Help Wanted sticker for Avalanche.
- XIV Part 2 has Tidus and Kefka joining in doing their famous laughs while the rest of the city leaders are laughing.
- Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: The Warrior in the first parody.Warrior: Oh my god, it's a vampire!Warrior: Man, that is so lame.Black Mage: Dude, this game came out in The '80s.Warrior: Game? THIS IS REAL LIFE!
- Can't Hold His Liquor: The Warrior of Light gets drunk after one beer, resulting in him running over and killing the cast of XIII with the DeLorean.
- Captain Ersatz: The lawyer in the XIII Nutshell is clearly based on the Blue-Haired Lawyer.
- Cardboard Pal: Penelo is this in XII to show how utterly insignificant she is to the game's story even moreso than Vaan.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Most of the villains don't even try to hide it. Particular mention goes to the Evil Bookshelf in V and Seymour.
- In XIV Part 1 during the Waking Sands Massacre, Livia says she's "extra evil" just cause she shot one of her own men who was in the middle of stabbing a corpse.
- Car Fu: When the Liquid Flame confronts Bartz and his company, it gets taken out by Edge's car.
- Celebrity Resemblance: RABtoons seemed to notice Cid Kramer's resemblance to Robin Williams like many others and went full throttle with it. Selphie even calls him Robin Williams at the end.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Edgar. He thinks Relm is hot. Strago tells him that she's ten. Edgar wonders if that's "Japanese Ten" thinking she's actually thirty instead.Strago: I want you out of my house.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Another huge source of the series' humor is that terrible things can happen and it gets shrugged off by the main heroes. It makes it even funnier when the curtains come crashing back down on them.
- Comically Missing the Point:
- When Namingway changes Cecil's name to "Dickweed Assfart", Cecil complains that the name's longer than the six character name limit.Namingway: My name is Namingway! I can change you or anyone else in your party's names!
Cecil: And what gives you, a rabbit from the moon, the authority to do that?
Namingway: Gee, I don't know. What does give me the authority, Cecil? Or should I say, Dickweed Assfart!
Cecil: What the!? (takes out his birth certificate and sees the change)
Namingway: You just carry your birth certificate with you everywhere?
Cecil: Hey! That's longer than the six character name limit!
Namingway: THAT'S your problem with this!?
- In V, no boats can sail across the ocean because there's no wind, but a wind drake was seen near a mountain. Hearing this, Bartz tries putting two and two together. He's shown swimming across the ocean in the next shot.Faris: Ugh. Moron.
- When Ultros appears, Edgar complains that a saltwater creature can't live in a river with fresh water. Ultros reminds him that he's a talking octopus with teeth that's weak to fire and pervs on women on all ages, but Edgar insists that an octopus doesn't belong in a river.
- When Namingway changes Cecil's name to "Dickweed Assfart", Cecil complains that the name's longer than the six character name limit.
- Commonality Connection: What makes Cloud and Zack best friends? They come from shitty backwater towns.
- Continue Your Mission, Dammit!:
- Tifa points out that Meteor is about to hit in a few days and Cloud is busy raising chocobos.
- Squall decides to put saving Rinoa on hold because he's too busy playing cards.
- Zidane complains that people in Burmecia are dying while Quina is catching frogs.
- Later in the same episode, after Kuja takes off with Eiko, instead of immediately going after them, Zidane is too busy sorting out weapons and equipment to figure out how to upgrade his team's abilities. Freya and Vivi aren't having it.
- Just as Tidus' party goes to fight the final battle, he's nowhere to be seen as he's playing Blitzball.
- Continuity Lockout: In-Universe. Crisis Core has Zack introduced to Cissnei who says she's a random insert from Before Crisis. Zack's reaction is basically the audience's for those unaware of what that game was.
- Contrived Coincidence: Squall actually gives Rinoa this name when she introduces herself as the member of the resistance.
- Curb-Stomp Battle:
- Garland gets his ass handed to him twice, whining how easily defeated he is each time. They don't even let him change into his final form. Even when he's laughing at Rhitahtyn getting his ass kicked in XIV Part 2, he still gets the same treatment, lamenting he's not even safe in Eorzea as the FF1 Warriors of Light beat him down.
- The Emperor as well. He even surrenders when the heroes confront his dark form on Pandemonium because of how leveled up they are.Firion: Did you notice how it took us days to get to you?Emperor: Why yes! I can only assume you were paralyzed with fear!Firion: Noooo... we've been grinding like crazy, and now we've maxed out ALL our stats!Emperor: ... oh... o... okay...Firion: (Firion and Maria smirk as Guy holds a jar of anal lube) Bend over.Emperor: (bends over submissively) Okay...
- Luneth grows back to normal size and simply jumps on the Giant Rat.
- Subverted in the IV parody. Fusoya and Golbez have already taken care of Zemus when Cecil arrives, and Golbez points out he was "super easy". After Cecil complains that going through the 12 floors of the final dungeon was now completely unnecessary, Rosa tells him to stop complaining. Then Zeromus appears.
- Galuf makes very short work of Gilgamesh.
- The Diamond Weapon is too occupied playing a mobile game and simply stomps on Cloud.
- Kimahri gets utterly annihilated in his fight against Biran and Yenke, thanks to Tidus neglecting his sphere grid. All everyone can do is watch in horror while he gets pummeled off-screen.
- After Hope points out that they're fighting the Havok Skytank with a sword, spear and boomerang, he, Lightning and Fang are shot to pieces.
- Snow later challenges a Adamantoise and gets stomped on as a result.
- XIV Part 2 has Ultima Weapon kill the Primals in even shorter time than it did in the original game. Hyurbert's party sitting back while the rest of the pick-up group rushes in and kills Rhitahtyn and Livia, as well as Gaius.
- Curse Cut Short: Some of the gags have one of the characters about to drop a Precision F-Strike only to get cut off somehow, mostly by cutting to the next sketch.
- Cutscene Incompetence: In X, Tidus laments this after the party surrenders to the Yevonites outside the Bevelle Cloister of Trials after everything they just fought through before that.Maester Mika: Stop right there.
Tidus: Seriously, guys? We're giving ourselves up? We fought through like twenty of these guys to get here and we're giving up because they're pointing guns at us? We got sprayed with fire and countless bullets from these assholes already! Oh, you all suck! I wish I didn't exist!
- Dastardly Whiplash:
- President Shinra adopts this look when Reno questions his methods.
- Snow is depicted as this in Hope's version of how his mom died.
- A Date with Rosie Palms:
- Cloud recalls that he did this inside Tifa's house... in front of Tifa.
- Zidane complains to his team that he wants at least one moment by himself for once so he can yank it.
- Death by Falling Over: Aerith kicks the bucket this way, by slipping on Septiroth's blood after he got impaled with his own sword.
- Death by Gluttony: To help him feel better, Celes feeds Cid Marquez as many fish as she can. Based on his fish-ridden corpse, she completely overdid it and accidentally killed him instead.Celes: Why won't you get better?!
- Death from Above:
- Kain attempts to pull one, but Cecil kills the enemy before he can land it, leaving Kain stuck offscreen. He starts freaking out.Kain: Am I gonna die!?
- Sephiroth attempts this on Aerith, but has a change of heart and ends up getting impaled by his own sword instead. It still doesn't save her.
- Kain attempts to pull one, but Cecil kills the enemy before he can land it, leaving Kain stuck offscreen. He starts freaking out.
- Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: When Tidus first sees Yuna, he immediately says how much he wants to tap it. When he realizes he said it out loud and everyone heard him, he proudly stands by what he said.
- Didn't Think This Through:
- The Emperor and his cyclone, which not only kills his own men, but Firion and his gang still manage to get through.
- Vivi says this when he tries to free himself from a Prison Cage and sets himself on fire instead.
- Lalafelon calls this out after the Waking Sand Massacre considering Castrum Marinum is right in the same province.
- Disney Villain Death:
- Terra, Celes and Edgar's freefall fight with the Air Force ends with the heroes going splat.
- When Yuna jumps off the palace tower where she's about to be wed to Seymour.Yuna: Don't worry, I can fly! (jumps)Tidus: (to Rikku) Relax, she's probably gonna summon Valefor mid-fall and- (Yuna go splat)...Or she was just nuts!
- Distracted by the Sexy: Quistis believes this is the reason why the boys choke on the test in the Fire Cavern. Stipping down to nothing but your underwear will probably do that.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Vanille in the XIII parody makes some very sensual gasps and moans even when shes standing in place, much to Sazhs embarrassment as theyre both in a town at the time.Vanille: (repeatedly moans and gasps as if in pleasure)Sazh: Do you have to make those noises every time you do anything?(Some bystanders look at them with weirded out expressions)Sazh: Look, I promise you shes older than she looks.
- Doomed Hometown: In Crisis Core, while it's not his hometown, Zack tries to avert this with the destruction of Banora.Zack: Jillian, they're gonna bomb the village because it didn't exist in the original Final Fantasy VII. (Jillian is dead). Angeal, did you do this?
Angeal: Dreams... and Honor. (I will neither confirm nor deny... ...for some reason.)
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Vivi's fate is given a last-second mention and comes out of nowhere.
- Happens to the cast of XIII courtesy of Squall and Warrior of Light in the DeLorean. The Outsiders are more pissed they didn't get to kill them.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Kuja, to the point where Zidane finds him hotter than Dagger. At first.Zidane: Damn, that is a fine piece of ass! Screw Dagger, give me some of that pie! Hot damn.Freya: Wait, what? No, that's not a-Zidane: Ah, look at those hips, that tight thong, and I love the way her Adam's apple just sticks out and- wait a minute.
- Dungeon Bypass:
- Bahamut tells the Warriors of Light to fetch him a rat's tail (from the Citadel of Trials) to present as proof of their courage. Warrior just goes offscreen and slices the tail off a hapless rat to give to him.
- Princess Hilda and her rebels managed to retake her castle back from the Palmecian Empire. She goes into how it wasnt an easy task, but then Firion pointed out he literally just ran in a straight line and killed the guy sitting on the throne without needing to fight anyone else.
- Galuf warns the others that the big bridge has a lot of enemies and tells them to prepare themselves. To his surprise, Bartz, Lenna, and Faris just walk down the sides, avoiding any battles. Galuf mutters how that kind of kills the mood.
- In some episodes, guards who refuse to let the heroes by are bypassed simply by jumping over them.
- Early-Bird Cameo: A lot of characters appear in episodes long before their respective parodies are aired.
- Inverted with Edge. He crashes his way into V, a full game late of his, due to traffic. Gordon's with him.
- Easily Forgiven:
- Gestahl can't bring himself to stay mad at Kefka for poisoning Doma Castle's water supply to kill everyone in it.
- Tidus uses the "Sin's toxin" excuse when he steals from a shop and gropes a woman's breasts. They give him passes for it.
- Easily Swayed Population: Very much lampshaded in XII. All Vayne has to do is promise to be a good leader and the crowd is cheering him, even saying they're easily swayed, though one person in the crowd does ask about his policies.
- Ending Aversion: In-Universe. Luneth thinks so.Luneth: So that's it!? We save the world, and we get A BRIGHT SKY!?Topapa: Yep! The end!Luneth: F*** YOU!
- Entitled Bastard: How Luneth views the Kingdom of Saronia.Castle Guard: (the castle shoots at the airship) FIRE! FIRE!(five minutes later)Alus: Please, Warriors! You must help us save our kingdom!Luneth: ... You assholes shot down our f***ing airship!
- Even Evil Has Standards: One of the Emperor's guards calls him out for ordering them to Rape, Pillage, and Burn a village. He's fine when the first two options are off the table.Emperor: Burn down their town! Pillage their goods! Rape their women!Guard: Whoa! What the hell, my lord?Emperor: Okay, okay, just burn down their town.Guard: Now that I can do!
- Even the Girls Want Her:
- When the heroes encounter Marilith in the first parody, even the White Mage admits she'd hit it.
- When Bartz and Galuf check up on Faris, who's sleeping, both come out blushing and giggling with an erection. Lenna, too.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Each video covers the plot of each game, and doesn't hesitate to poke fun at the massive spoilers throughout. Hope you played through most of them!
- Eye Twitch:
- Cecil does this when Kain appears and takes off with a crystal. He just can't catch a break.
- Rinoa does this after Squall saves her and tells her it was her own fault for agreeing to be sealed away. She convinces herself that it's a strange way of him saying that he loves her.
- Noctis does this when Shiva announces she was going to tell him some story exposition using lazily put together still images.Noctis: ... I paid FULL retail price for this shit!
- Failed Attempt at Drama:
- When Bartz tells Galuf and Lenna what his father's dying wish was. He's horrified at their response.Bartz: It was my father's dying wish for me to explore the world. Plus this time, it feels like the wind is calling me.Lenna: That is like, super gay.Galuf: Yeah, that's hella gay.Boko: *squawking* (SO gay)
- When Zidane attempts to rescue Dagger during the battle of Alexandria, he slips and falls to his doom instead.
- When Zidane later visits Dagger with the garnet gem in hand, he tosses it to her, but it hits the ground and breaks.Dagger: What the f***?! You f***ing moron! Why didn't you just hand it to me like a normal person?Zidane: I'm sorry, I-I-I was just trying to a-add dramatic flair!Dagger: You broke a f***ing precious family heirloom, you dopey f***!
- Right after Dagger performs her Important Haircut to dramatic music, saying it's symbolic, Zidane tells her that all she did was give herself a bad haircut.
- When Bartz tells Galuf and Lenna what his father's dying wish was. He's horrified at their response.
- Fan Disservice:
- Fantastic Racism: XIV Part 1 has Lalafelon who's this to anyone who's not a lalafell, as shown right in front of Roechelle.Roechelle: (In German) What a sweet little potato!Lalafelon: You will be the first to die in the great purge.
- Galuf's spirit pulls a "ghost fart" on the heroes at the end of V. Zack's spirit also pulls one on Genesis' body at the end of Crisis Core.
- When Zidane touches Garnet's butt in IX as they're climbing a ladder, she retaliates by farting on him.Garnet: That was a warning.
- Foreshadowing: In the III parody.Luneth: Now we're taking orders from trees as well as crystals? What's next, are we going to fight a cloud?Refia: Um...
- Fatal Method Acting: Invoked in IX. It just about nearly happens to Baku when he pops up behind Zidane in a monster mask and gets stabbed for it.
- Faux Affably Evil: In XII, Vayne puts on this front for the crowd in Rabanastre before letting it out in front of a guard.Guard: Is Rabanastre to your liking, my lord?
Vayne: Hell no, this place is a sh*thole. I can't wait to reveal I'm a bad guy and bulldoze this turd city out of my way. And why are all the men topless here?
- Fetch Quest: Lampshaded in XIV Part 1.Baderon: You should make a name for yourself in Eorzea.
Baderon: All right, you listening? Okay, get this... A sh*tload of fetch quests.
Hyurbert: Will that help me save Eorzea?
Baderon: Yeah sure why not, anyway here's my dry-cleaning ticket, the shopping list. And, my kids finish school at 3, don't be late picking them up.
- Flipping the Bird: In Lalafelon's XIV Behind the Light episode, he gives this and tells a couple raiders to lick his balls.Raider: This isn't Balmungnote so no, I absolutely will not!
- Freeze-Frame Bonus:
- Used at the very end of the XIII Nutshell, which has a message pointing out that the post-credits gag does nothing to advance the Outcasts subplot.
- In Roechelle's "Behind the Light" video, before she abandons the quests, the quest log for the one she just accepted before she quits it outright says it's not even in the game, as well as some Take That, Us.
- The Friend Nobody Likes:
- Edward. His weapon is practically useless and Cecil doesn't hide his disdain for him.
- Tidus. Everyone makes it clear that they don't like him, the sound of his voice, and don't even know his name.
- Vaan. No one likes him, laughs at his jokes, and even wonder why he's tagging along.
- Snow. No one aside from Serah likes him and Lightning even asks Hope to kill him for her.
- Fridge Logic: In-Universe in VIII when after the Ifrit fight, Squall asks that if part of the lessons involve being able to fight and summon Ifrit, what do you need an army of teenagers for? That makes Quistis unable to come up with a solid answer.
- Fun with Acronyms: Cloud thinks AVALANCHE is simply a protest group, and the name stands for "Angry Very Annoyed Liberals Against Nasty Corporations Hurting Earth." Barret has no words for it.
- Fun with Subtitles: If the Chocobos spoke English, they'd be the most foul-mouthed characters in the series.(two Chocobos watch Cloud running back and forth on the Chocobo tracks)Chocobo 1: *squawking* (... What the hell is he doing?)Chocobo 2: *squawking* (Is he mocking us!?)Chocobo 1: *squawking* (Im gonna go kick his ass!)
- Funny Background Event:
- The Thief is seen dead in the background during some of the skits. In one, a wolf drags his corpse away and in another his corpse is floating away in a swamp. He lays dead again on the airship while the Black Mage goes and jumps off the side.
- In II, Guy is often put in random places in the background. At one point he's laying down, and upside down in another.
- Gag Boobs / Gainaxing: Tifa and Lulu. Cloud reflexively calls the former Boobs when she bounced, and Yuna calls the latter out on her victory pose.
- Gag Series: Each episode is comprised of several short sketches poking fun at the stories, characters and game mechanics.
- Giant Space Flea Out Of Nowhere: Lampshaded when Necron suddenly appears as the final boss of IX, just when Zidane thought the game was finally over.
- Going Commando: When Lightning performs a Paradigm Shift and goes Commando, her panties fall off.
- Gratuitous German: In XIV Part 1, Roechelle is the only "party member" who only speaks German. Her Behind the Light video however has her speaking English cause Auto Translate is turned on.
- Groin Attack:
- After Faris comes out as a woman, Bartz asks why it was necessary to pretend to be a man. She points out that she's the only woman on a ship filled with "rapey" pirates. His imagination starts to go places and she kicks him in the jewels for it. Or is it crystals? Whatever.Faris: Yes. I'm actually a woman.Bartz: Oh good! Then my boners for you weren't gay! But why pretend to be a guy?Faris: You try being the only woman amongst a bunch of rapey pirates!Bartz: He he heh... rapey... (gets kicked in the nuts by Faris)
- In the same episode, Gilgamesh gets the hell punched out of him by Galuf, who also lands a low blow.Gilgamesh: Ow, my nuts!
- Tidus gets punched in the balls by Cid for getting excited about Yuna's wedding to Seymour.Cid: Yep! There she is. Looks like she's getting married.Tidus: Oooooooh! A wedding! I hope there's a band and lots of beautiful flowers, oh! Oh! I'm going to have to get a new dress!Cid: Goddammit son! I'm gonna punch you in your little bitch testicles if you don't shut up! In fact, I'm gonna do it anyway! (punches Tidus in the crotch)
- Lalafelon's main mode of attack is to just tell people "You don't pay my sub!" and then hit them in the junk after they call him out on being a bad player, and in one tank's case, because of how taxes work, he actually DOES pay his sub(scription). The one time his tried and true method doesn't work is on Alphinaud because "they haven't dropped yet."
- After Faris comes out as a woman, Bartz asks why it was necessary to pretend to be a man. She points out that she's the only woman on a ship filled with "rapey" pirates. His imagination starts to go places and she kicks him in the jewels for it. Or is it crystals? Whatever.
- The Guards Must Be Crazy: The guards in most episodes are hilariously incompetent.
- II has Firion give a guard a badly written pass that says "PLZ LET US ON BOARD -The Emperor." The guard just waves them through.Maria: So, how did these guys conquer half the world again?
- In III, the party has been kidnapped by the Empire and one says how they should have taken their weapons, cast Silence and patched up the hole in their cell. His partner asks what are they gonna do, shrink themselves down and escape through the hole?
- In IX, Steiner points out the guards are that stupid... by being unable to follow him up a ladder.
- VIBiggs: Keep a close eye on her (Celes).Wedge: Can do! I can sleep for days!Biggs: Don't you mean "go for days without sleeping?"Wedge: *snoring*Biggs: Whatever, I'm gonna leave without locking this door.(Locke breaks in and rescues Celes, then bumps into Biggs).Locke: Oh, um, hey.Biggs: Eh, go ahead. What do I care?
- XIII shows the Cocoon soldiers don't get the connection that a spike in medical supplies and weapons are from the Pulse l'Cie they're looking for.
- II has Firion give a guard a badly written pass that says "PLZ LET US ON BOARD -The Emperor." The guard just waves them through.
- Guyliner: In IX, Steiner's introduction has him putting this on like he's Buffalo Bill.Steiner: Would you do me? I'd do me. I'd do me hard.
- Half the Man He Used to Be:
- In III, when Ingus is confused, Luneth attacks him to cure him, but slices him vertically in half instead. Arc and Refia are understandably horrified. Luneth later does the same thing to Doga before chopping off Unei's head to form the Syrcus Key. Again, Arc and Refia are horrified.
- In Crisis Core, when Cloud stabs Sephiroth, he ends up doing this to him with Zack's Buster Sword. Cloud does say the sword was bigger than Seph's entire body and no way it was going to be a clean kill. Also happens to Hollander in his "boss fight."
- Handshake Substitute:
- When Bartz finds out that Boko's knocked up another chocobo, they do a fist bump.
- Cloud and Squall also do a fist bump in the Dissidia episode when Cloud points out he doesn't wear as much as the others.Squall: You and me both, buddy. Urban fantasy, represent! (fist bump)
- HeelFace Revolving Door: Kain Highwind, who also points out whenever he's become good or evil again.
- Homoerotic Subtext: Played for Laughs between Cloud and Barret. Barret ends up being Cloud's date on the Gold Saucer and gets lucky. They later appear in the IX parody riding on a ferris wheel together.
- How Do I Shot Web?: In II, Firion buys a Cure tome but has no idea how to use it. Maria suggests actually reading it only for Firion to throw the book at her. Guy, however, takes a more edible approach.Guy: Magic taste like paper.
- HP to 1: Beatrix annihilates Zidane's party but leaves them all with 1 HP to prove that she's "not a total bitch", just morally conflicted. When they fight her again, they don't even bother since they know she'll leave them all with 1 HP again. When Zidane later calls her out for not realizing the Queen was Obviously Evil sooner, Beatrix uses the trope as a threat.Beatrix: The princess? I suddenly realize the queen is evil and will switch sides.Zidane: And the fact the queen is a genocidal backstabbing warmonger didn't do that sooner... because...?Beatrix: Biiiiitch, do I have to cut your HP down to one again? Again?Zidane: ...I'll behave.
- Human Shield:
- In III, Luneth is hesitant about recruiting Arc as he doesn't think he'd be a useful ally, but decides to anyway because Arc could make a decent human shield at least. Arc doesn't seem to mind.
- Sorceress Adel uses Rinoa as one and taunts the heroes thinking they won't attack her. They unload everything on her anyway and Rinoa is caught completely in the crossfire.Rinoa: Thanks a lot, guys...
- Hypocritical Humor: Bartz pulls this line after a Chocobo coughs two crystal shards.Bartz: You're telling me this Chocobo swallowed shards that ended up here from the crystal that exploded ALL the way on the other side of the world? Ridiculous. (upbeat) Now come on, let's all four of us fly across the ocean on this SINGLE Chocobo!
- I Am a Monster: Angeal reacts this way when he has his white wing after being infused with Jenova cells.
- I Lied: When Garnet finds out that Queen Brahne destroyed Burmecia, the queen claims it was done in self-defense. A prompt pops up and the player chooses the "Believe her" option.Garnet: Well, if the player forced me to select the "Believe you" option, then you must be telling the truth.Brahne: Ha! I lied!Kuja: 'Sup, babe? (knocks Garnet out with a finger snap and picks her up) Mmm. I'll be in my bunk.
- I'm a Humanitarian: The "Steamed Hams" parody has Seymour treating Grand Maester Mika to a meal, but when his roast is ruined, he chases Vaan, kills him and treats Grand Maester Mika to "Vaan Burgers", or "Steamed Vaans".
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice:
- Firion, Maria, and Guy accidentally run straight into a Palmecian guards lance, shishkabobbing themselves.
- The Wind Crystal in III accidentally does this to Luneth when it summons him by opening a hole from underneath his feet. He falls onto a sharp rock.
- When Sephiroth pulls his infamous Death from Above attack on Aerith, he misses the shot and gets impaled with the Masamune instead.
- When Zidane only impresses 99 out of 100 nobles, with the one unimpressed noble being a total Jerkass, Zidane responds by throwing his sword straight into his head. The remaining 99 are impressed.
- Tidus accidentally does this to himself when performing his victory pose, impaling his head with his own sword.
- Vaan gets stabbed in the gut by Judge Gabranth shortly after he gets his copy of the game autographed.Vaan: I can't believe I'm going to get my ass kicked by the guy on the cover! (gets stabbed and lifted into the air) Best. Day. Ever.Balthier: Best day ever.
- After Snow nearly kills himself by saving Hope, Lightning's knife falls on him and stabs him.
- Incredibly Lame Pun:
- The Emperor makes one as part of his stand-up comedy gig.Emperor: So I was feeling under the weather the other day, and I went to make a doctor's appointment. And the lady said, "The doctor will see you Esunas he can. *Rimshot* Get it? Like, Esuna, the healing spell? Es-sun-as he can? Esuna?Audience member: You suck!Emperor: I will burn all your towns down!(nervous forced laughter from the audience)
- Vaan makes one towards Balthier and Fran.Vaan: So, you're a male-female duo who commit crimes together? Does that make you...? (laughs) Bunny and Clyde?
- The Emperor makes one as part of his stand-up comedy gig.
- Inflating Body Gag: When Cloud performs CPR on Priscilla, he overdoes it and inflates her entire body like a balloon, causing her to float away. Whoops.
- Inner Monologue: Tidus has a large one, confusing Lulu and Wakka. Reason why it was long was because Tidus was describing practically every second, including the random battles.
- Inspector Javert: Taken to a ridiculous degree with Steiner against Zidane. For example, when Artania says the Regent of Lindblum was attacked in his sleep.Steiner: I bet it was you!
Zidane: Okay, that is starting to get really old.
Steiner: You were behind 9/11!
- Insult Backfire: Subverted in V. Faris laughs when Bartz calls her a "piratey-pirate''. She's shown crying about it later. She has feelings, too, you know!
- Interface Spoiler: Cecil realizes not all is right when Baigan joins the party since they already have five people in it and he doesn't have a profile picture.Cecil: Hang on! We already have five people in the party, and you don't have a profile picture when you talk.Baigan: Aww, you got me!Cecil: Nice try, though!Baigan: I almost had you!Cecil: Yep. Almost. (stabs Baigan dead)
- Interspecies Romance: Hojo tries to breed a new generation of ancients by having Aerith and Red XIII go on a date.
- Ironic Name:
- Thief. By his own admission, he can't actually steal anything, but he can run away.
- The Calm Lands in FFX. Tidus assumes it's nice and peaceful, but Wakka tells him it's the exact opposite, as it has more random monsters than anywhere in Spira. Tidus isn't surprised.
- I Take Offense to That Last One!:
- A variation happens when Balthier plays with a voice changer.Balthier: It also does Vaan! (In Vaan's voice) I'm Vaan. I'm irrelevant to the plot and a massive gaylord.(Balthier, Basch and Ashe laugh)Vaan: Hey! Im not irrelevant!(Beat)(Balthier, Basch and Ashe laugh even harder)
- In FFXIII as well.Lightning: We need to split up into groups we know and trust. Hope, you go with the guy you have told me several times you intend to kill. Ill go with Australian lesbian.Fang: Hey! I am NOT Australian!
- A variation happens when Balthier plays with a voice changer.
- It's All About Me: Tidus tells his party that the game is his story. They're not amused, believing they all contributed to the game's narrative, not just him.
- It Never Gets Any Easier: In XIV Part 1, Elise has this to the attack of the Waking Sands even after all the alts she's made.
- Joke Item: Played straight in Crisis Core when Zack is trying to kill mooks with what's essentially a beach umbrella. Even the mook calls him out on it, with "What were you expecting?" Zack wants it to be quirky but show he's a badass. The mook says "Umbrellas don't work that way" and takes off.
- Just in Time: In VI, Shadow brings up this trope at the end of the Floating Continent.Shadow: "If I wait until the last second to get on the airship, I'll look super badass." (The Interceptor has taken off without him) "F*ck!"
- Karma Houdini: Lampshaded with Cecil, as a few characters are clearly upset that becoming a paladin somehow clears him of all of the terrible things he did. Ultimately subverted.Mysterious Light: I now knight you as a Paladin, a holy warrior of light, with sexy flowing hair. And suddenly all of your inner conflict over killing innocent people is gone.Cecil: Awesome!Mysterious Light: You will also have to start over from level one and all of your armor and weapons suck, bye! (vanishes)Cecil: Son of a bitch!
- Kleptomaniac Hero: In III, Luneth takes advantage of a town's situation to pillage their stores.Luneth: "We can never come back to this place again."
- A Lady on Each Arm:
- Firion becomes a pimp after pawning off an ether for cash, coming back wearing shades, a wide-brimmed hat, and some bling while flanked on both sides by two women.
- Also Hojo.Bikini Lady: Hojo honey, we love you!Hojo: Shut up, baby, I know it!
- Lame Rhyme Dodge: When Wakka dodges Lightning.Tidus: That was close. If you're not careful, she'll ruin your franchise.Wakka: My what?Tidus: Your french fries! See?(Lightning glares at Wakka and swats down a box of fries he was holding)Wakka: ... Right... I don't get it.
- Laugh Track: Happens in IV when Cecil mentions the crap he has to put up with.
- Lawful Stupid: Kain refuses to attack his enemy until his ATB bar fills because it's the rules. Cecil ignores him and immediately kills it.Kain: Hey, stop! You're breaking the rules! How dare you insult and undermine my authority! I challenge you to a duel! ...As soon as my ATB bar fills.
- Leeroy Jenkins: The infamous sound clip is used when the Warriors of Light kamikaze themselves into the Cloud of Darkness to little effect.
- Let Me Get This Straight...: In X, Tidus points out the logic of Kilika's construction.Tidus: "People of Spira are regularly attacked by Sin, a monster that comes from the sea. So you build all your major cities near the ocean but also on the ocean? Wow, y'all are Sin's bitches, aren't you?"
Wakka: "I'm starting to think you weren't affected by Sin's toxin."
- Happens again during Operation Mi'ihen.Tidus: "So your plan to kill the gargantuan monster that was born from overusing machina, and has destroyed entire cities that were overusing machina... is to hold its babies hostage, overuse machina, and attack it with a railgun and small army?"
Tidus: "Well sign us up, bro!" (One massacre later... Tidus is surrounded by dead bodies and a chocobo) Well it's anyone's guess why that failed."
- Happens again during Operation Mi'ihen.
- Let's You and Him Fight: Subverted in the Dissidia episode. Cosmos summons the protagonists of each game together to have them determine which is the the best Final Fantasy game of all. Instead of having them duke it out, they get into an argument about whose game sucks the most.Cloud: Is this for real? You gathered ten of the greatest heroes of the multiverse to settle a debate?
- Level Grinding: Warrior goes overboard with this. IN SPADES with Firion and friends.White Mage: Um, Warrior? Don't you think we may be level grinding a bit too much?Warrior: (all bulked out) I don't have a problem! I can quit whenever I want!White Mage: I never said you had a problem.Warrior: Good! 'Cause I don't! (twitches) Hey, does anyone else wanna beat up more monsters? No? Just me?
- In VIII, Squall tries to "Draw Magic" by doing a sketch on a piece of paper of him setting someone on fire. Quistis facepalms and tells him that's not how it works.
- In X, Tidus meets a boy who says he wants to be a blitzball when he grows up. 10 years later, he literally becomes a blitzall. Tidus is in the audience watching him.Tidus: "I'm proud of you, kid!"
- Luke, I Might Be Your Father: With his character arc complete, Laguna pulls this on Squall and hauls ass the moment he does.
- Man Bites Man: Luneth gets his finger bitten by a dwarf when he points out how tiny they are.
- Mary Sue: An In-Universe example with Crisis Core, which considers Lazard to be this when he calls himself the illegitimate son of President Shinra that was never mentioned in the original game.
- May the Farce Be with You: The XII Nutshell makes numerous plot comparisons to Star Wars (or at least, A New Hope), which pisses off Balthier to no end. Various characters make an appearance, including the Millennium Falcon, sound effects from the movies are used, and the closing credits mimic those found in the movies.Balthier: This isn't Star Wars! God dammit!Obi-Wan Kenobi: That's what you think, bitch.
- Mistaken for Gay: Apparently, Setzer's party thought that his love Darill was a man the entire time, and are surprised to learn she was a woman. He even asks if the party actually thought he was gay.Setzer: Of course shes a woman! What, you thought I was gay!?Celes: Well... a bit.Edgar: Yeah, I mean, you have that long, white hair.Celes: And that fabulous outfit.Sabin: And you wear lipstick.Setzer: I'M TRYING TO HAVE A POIGNANT MOMENT HERE!
- Mistaken for Racist: If someone comments on a Black Mage, expect this to happen.
- When the Black Mage questions the battle system of the first game, the Warrior retorts by asking him why he's literally black.Warrior: A random battle! Quick everyone! Stand in a vertical row and lets take turns attacking and being attacked one by one!Black Mage: Wait, why?Warrior: I dont know. Why are you literally black?White Mage: Oh my god, Warrior, you can't just ask people why they're black!
- After Zidane and Vivi visit the Black Mage Village.Zidane: Aww, look! It's a town full of Giant Vivis!Vivi: Oh, so all black mages look the same, do they?Zidane: Yes, you literally all do.
- Vivi gets payback later.Vivi: Aww, it's a town full of Zidanes! See? That's how it feels, jerk.
- When the Black Mage questions the battle system of the first game, the Warrior retorts by asking him why he's literally black.
- Mood Whiplash: Similar to the example above with Setzer, expect to have the more dramatic, saddest or sexiest scenes played out normally only to be ripped apart with a gag. For instance, the scene where Yuna dances after Operation Mi'ihen ends in a bloodbath.Tidus: People die and Yuna dances. When will she stop dancing?Wakka: It does seem a bit insensitive.(Yuna dances wildly while loud rave music is playing, with dead bodies in the background)
- Most Definitely Not a Villain: In XV, this is how Ardyn introduces himself."Hello chaps, don't mind me. I'm clearly not anyone evil."
- Mutual Kill: Barret and Dyne fight each other by firing their machine guns at each other, riddling their bodies with bullets.
- My Friends... and Zoidberg:
- In IV before attacking the empire, Cecil declares that they finally have a (somewhat) decent team. And Edward. Then again when everyone pulls their Big Damn Heroes moment against the Giant of Babil.Yang: Don't worry guys! The cavalry's here!Cecil: Yang!Cid: We've got your back, Cecil!Cecil: Cid!Porom: Don't forget about us!Cecil: Palom! Porom! You're alive!Edward: And I'm here, too!Cecil: Yeah whatever.
- The start of XII has this as well.Narrator: A story that spans decades and unearths the corruption of the Royal Empire as we follow our heroes on their quest in rebellion for the future of Dalmasca.
Vaan: And I'm Vaan. (Balthier glares at him) Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
- In IV before attacking the empire, Cecil declares that they finally have a (somewhat) decent team. And Edward. Then again when everyone pulls their Big Damn Heroes moment against the Giant of Babil.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Sephiroth has this dilemma after he jumps from high above to kill Aerith.Sephiroth: (in the air) Oh god, I can't do this. She's just a sweet and innocent girl that got tied up in this mess. I can't kill her. But I already jumped. No. There's still time! Hyah! (tosses the Masamune into the air, hits the ground and gets impaled with it)Aerith: Oh, that was close. That could've killed me! (walks past Sephiroth, slips on his blood, breaks her neck and dies anyway)
- Mystery Box: After Firion and his crew kill the Behemoth, the Emperor awards them with a prize, between Princess Hilda, the Masamune, a trip to Mysidia, or trading all three for the mystery box. Firion goes straight for the mystery box, earning him Hilda's exasperation, an eternal stay in the dungeon and tickets to the Emperor's comedy show.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: The Skull Eater. When Bartz seems to realize the trope at hand, everyone else in his party has been gruesomely decapitated, and he's next.
- Never Heard That One Before: III has Ingus join the party to which Luneth says "Ingus the Dingus" to which the former says he's heard them all before. Cut to Luneth having a notepad of other rhymes like "stinkus" and "stupingus."
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: In XV, Noctis has to say this about Camelia Claustra.Noctis: Are you Hillary Clinton? Seriously? Our RABToon models don't show it very well, but go play the game. This chick looks exactly like Hillary Clinton!
- No Continuity: Seymour points this out in the X parody.Tidus: Didn't I behead you so you wouldn't come back to life and do exactly this?Seymour: This is a parody. It doesn't have to make sense or have continuity. (deadpan) Now I must go. My planet needs me. (is lifted upward out of frame)Yuna: So are we just ripping off The Simpsons now?(Cut to the next sketch)Seymour: See? No continuity.
- No Ending: IV's credit song lampshades that it ends right after Zeromus appears.
- No, Except Yes: In XV, Noctis calls out Gentiana on the dog to "revisit his memories" as time travel with her saying it's not, while the Warrior of Light, Lightning, Noel and Squall all look on knowing full well it is.
- No Fourth Wall: The characters know that they're in a game and a video parody, and question virtually everything that goes on in each episode, whether it's the story, gameplay mechanics, and even the gags themselves.Brother: I have found Yuna!Cid: Where? Use that gizmo to somehow let us see where she is in high definition!Brother: I use it to watch her shower!Cid: Yeah, yeah, I get it, you're inbred. We'll have plenty of jokes about that in the X-2 Nutshell. Just show us Yuna! And not naked!
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Gilgamesh is on the receiving end of this by Galuf.
- N-Word Privileges: Parodied in XIV Part 2. Hyurbert calls Lalafelon a potato and gets headbutted for it, with Lalafelon saying "that's our word!"
- Obligatory Joke: Double Subverted with Sabin and the Phantom Train in VI. In the Nutshell proper, he simply gets run over. After much peer pressure from the fans, he eventually made a separate video animating the iconic "Sabin suplexes a train" scene, with a "Happy? Now stop mentioning it." outro at the end.
- Obviously Evil:
- Zidane points this out to Beatrix about Queen Brahne.
- Lulu describes Seymour as the "obvious-from-the-moment-you-see-him villain".
- Gaius van Baelsar says this is why the Garleans have to wear their armor no matter how much they're sweating inside.
- Off with His Head!:
- When Luneth fights against Doga and Unei, the latter meets this fate.
- When Bartz discovers the Skull Eater and wonders why it's called that, the rest of his team have been decapitated.
- As Tidus visits the hospital after his victory pose causes him to impale himself with his own sword, Cloud visits with Tifa and Barret, who are holding their own severed heads.Doctor: Now Cloud, what have I told you about swinging your sword around when you win battles?
- After Seymour dies from his first boss battle, Tidus proceeds to decapitate him and kill the two Guado who would have carried him out to make sure he doesn't come back.Yuna: What the hell, he was already dead! And they were innocent!Tidus: Trust me, I just saved us from three very annoying boss battles.
- Oh, Crap!
- In III, the Giant Rat's reaction when Luneth grows back to normal size.
- When Rydia summons Titan.Cecil: Relax, its just gonna be a scripted battle where we ca- OH HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST!!! (Titan appears and pwns Cecil and Kain)
- In Crisis Core after Genesis and Sephiroth have their duel on the Junon Cannon, Sephiroth thought he was having a VR duel... only to realize he just destroyed a several billion gil superweapon. Genesis is the one freaking his shit out. In Zack and Cloud's first meeting, Zack has this when he has to say the "Me, Gongaga" line.
- When Zidane and Garnet get married to pass the dwarves, Zidane slyly suggests they should consummate the marriage. Garnet reminds him that the marriage was just in name only to get past said dwarves and that they didnt have to consummate it. Vivi reacts in horror.Vivi: (with Quina smoking behind him) What do you mean we didnt have to consummate it!?
- Later, Zidane tosses the garnet gem to Dagger, but it hits the ground and she absolutely loses her shit at him for breaking a precious family heirloom. He pulls an Active Time Event in desperation to escape from her wrath.Vivi: Huh? We're on me now? Oh, right. Zidane must've pissed someone off again.
- Tidus and Wakka go to Rin for supplies during the airship attack.Tidus: Were under attack and we need supplies!Rin: Certainly. Will you be using cash or plastic?Tidus: ... what...?Wakka: You DO realize if we fail, you die, too?Rin: I have faith in your abilities.Tidus: ... Screw that! Rob his ass!Rin: Oh crap!
- In XIV Behind the Light for Roechelle, Hydaelyn has this reaction when Roechelle, a German speaking player, picks Cactaur, a North American server.
- XIV Part 2 has an Ishgardian soldier on this end when the Hyurbert, Eliza and Lalafelon go and do quests/kill dragons primarily cause now people are gonna expect THEM to go fight dragons now.
- One-Hit Kill: Cloud uses an elixir on Gi Nattak to Red XIII's disappointment.
- Only One Name: The party in XIV have just their first names shown until Part 2 shows their full names during the point they kick Hyurbert out during the Garuda fight. We have Lalafu Lalafelon, Eliza Pendragon and Roechelle Riley.
- Only Sane Man: Red XIII, Squall and Vivi are clearly the more sane ones. Cecil to a degree, as he points out all the crap he has to go through.
- In XII, Balthier is this since he points out Princess Ashe as Amalaia due to being a highly known public figure, never even dyed her hair or even changed her voice. When the party meets Larsa, the same thing happens due to him being a public figure and even wearing royal clothes to the point he's screaming if he's the only one with any brain cells.
- Crisis Core has Zack unfortunately be this to the wackos of SOLDIER, but unfortunately it's a Foregone Conclusion.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: Luneth doesnt think much of the ghosts of Kazus.
- Padding: An in-universe example in XIV Part 2 when Cid has the party go collect aether attuned crystals since they're skipping through cutscenes.
- Palette Swap: Edgar mentions that his disguise as Gerad was this, and changes his colors with a snap. Terra tries adopting her default green hair color the same way, and Edgar changes it back. She pulls the same palatte swap trick on him.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Cloud, Barret, Tifa, Aeris, and Red XIII manage to get by security unnoticed while poorly disguised as Shinra soldiers.Shinra guard 1: (Disguised Cloud, Barret, Tifa, Aeris, and Red XIII walk by him) Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. And that's everyone.Shinra guard 2: (walks up) We've been informed to look for a guy with spiky hair, a giant black guy, a chick with huge boobs, a chick with no so huge boobs, a red lion-tiger-like thing, and a ninja girl... maybe.Shinra guard 1: Uh, I think I would have noticed people like that, thank you.
- XIV Part 2 shows Cid Garlond as Marquis as this when Hyurbert points out Cid's goggles are even peeking out of his hood.
- Parental Substitute: XV's ship has Noctis treat the Regalia more like his own father than his own when it's destroyed as it gets to the endgame.Noctis: "Holy crap, I seriously have more chemistry with a freakin' car than my own dad in this game!"
- Pass the Popcorn: In XIV Part 2 after the Garuda fight, Gaius throws popcorn at her, booing the Primal
- The Pigpen:
- In XII, when Vaan, Balthier and Fran come up to Basch, they're offended by his scent which he blames to being in prison for the last two years. Fran letting out a toot actually makes the room smell better in comparison.
- In XV, Ignis complains about this to Noctis that they've been grinding for three whole weeks to save up XP while they're stinking to high heaven and Prompto is dead.
- The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: In XIV Part 1 after Minfillia introduces the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, Hyurbert asks what do they do, she replies with "Absolutely nothing."
- Please Don't Leave Me: In Crisis Core after Zack defeats Angeal, he's begging him not to die because he doesn't know how he's gonna explain Angeal going One-Winged Angel to HQ.
- Plot Armor: Lampshaded by Bartz when Faris questioned why they didn't get sucked into the void.Bartz: Because, we're the main characters! Duh!
- Pokémon Speak: Crisis Core has Angeal only words be "Dreams and Honor" in varying inflections depending on the mood he's trying to convey with subtitles showing what he's saying.
- Polite Villains, Rude Heroes: When Cosmos brings the heroes together in the Dissidia parody, most of them are completely rude and antagonistic toward each other, while the villains Chaos summoned are all drinking wine together, having nothing but nice things to say to each other, united in their love for evil.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Yuna decides to defeat Yu Yevon by bringing up all of his homophobic and racist tweets from 2007. It's enough to make it announce the cancellation of the destruction of the world.
- Poor Communication Kills: When Barret tells Cloud about attacking the Guard Scorpion when its tail is up, Cloud immediately attacks and gets a hole in his torso. Barret complains that he was going to tell him about its counterattack if Cloud had let him finish.
- Potty Failure: Steiner sneaks Dagger past a security guard, who thinks he's carrying a stinking bag of Gysahl pickles. It's actually Garnet, who's been in the bag for days and couldn't hold it in. Steiner is understandably grossed out.
- Power Copying: Strago boasts that he learns the bad breath attack by witnessing it. Edgar tells him he doesn't need to make excuses and should brush his teeth once in a while.
- Power Up Letdown:
- As the Warrior flies the airship, the White Mage points out the many restrictions placed upon them.
- Firion is excited to have access to Ultima, the strongest spell in the game, then is informed it's only strong if he's leveled up all his other magic spells, making him curse in frustration.
- Bartz is excited to fly on a wind drake until they bump into a mountain, and our hero is disappointed that it can't fly vertically over it. In response, the wind drake sends him flying over it (and to his doom).
- Lightning is happy when her team gets an airship, which she notes is a staple of the franchise that grants them the freedom to explore the world. It only goes to one place.
- President Evil: Edea kills the president and takes the spot for herself, becoming this. Then she swears to build a wall and Make Galbadia Great Again.
- Product Placement: The end of the VIII parody features a plug by Squall's voice actor, Matt Raftis, who narrates audio books on time management.
- Properly Paranoid: Steiner accuses Zidane of touching Garnet, even though she tells him nothing happened. Zidane removes himself from the picture the moment Garnet realizes she's not wearing underwear.
- The Protagonist: Argued at the beginning of VI between Terra, Locke, Celes, Edgar and Setzer. Mog wins for being on the game's cover. For the US version of "Final Fantasy III" anyway.Locke: I thought this was Final Fantasy VI.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!:
- Luneth calls out Sarah for waiting before jumping in to help.Luneth: We're! Freakin'! KIDS!!!
- Vivi towards Steiner when the Bomb was looming behind him.Vivi: Look! The f-! Behind you! Dickhead!
- Luneth calls out Sarah for waiting before jumping in to help.
- Puppet King: XIV Part 1 treats Sultana Nanamo ul Namo like this, even with her saying Raubahn is more the man in charge of Ul'dah.
- Rape, Pillage, and Burn: In II, the Emperor's soldiers find the Rape part a bit too much for them.
- Rage Breaking Point: Noctis throws a fit that their game had been poorly put together in the three years it was in development to the point he foams at the mouth and Gladiolus had to escort him out.Noctis: Seriously, what were Square doing in the three years it took to put this mess together!?Ignis: Noctis, ix nay, on the elf say awareness yay...Noctis: NO! FUCK YOU! I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THIS GAME! GRAAAAAAAAAAH!!!Gladiolus: (escorts Angrish-spouting Noctis away) Come on, Noct.
- Reality Ensues:
- In the II parody, the Emperor over-estimates his own abilities, brushing off the Dark Knight's warnings about the feats Firion and his friends have done. It ended they way you think.Dark Knight: So what kind of powers you got? Any world ending stuff? Giant summons? What you got in mind?
Emperor: Well none of that! I'm an emperor!
Dark Knight: Uh... what?
Emperor: Well I'm a pretty bad man! I've killed a lot of people!
Dark Knight: Firion has killed giants, dragons, chimeras, ghouls, half of our soldiers, and elites! What the hell are you thinking, man? You can't take this guy!
Emperor: Naw, man, I got this!
(Scene change to Firion stabbing the Emperor repeatedly while the Dark Knight watches from a distance)
Emperor: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!! OH GOD THIS SUCKS!!! WHY DID YOU LET ME DIRECTLY TAKE THEM ON!? (dies)
Firion: Well that was easy! Party at Hilda's! WHOO!!
Cyan: We're Cyan and Shadow by the way.
- Cyan and Shadow jump out of the way of the Phantom Train while Sabin gets flattened by it instead of suplexing it like he can in the game.
Celes: We did it, guys! We defeated Kefka and saved the world!
- When Edgar, Celes and Terra are fighting against the Air Force in a free fall battle, their weapons are ineffective and the fight ends with them going splat.
- The ending also has this after the party finally defeats Kefka.
Edgar: No, not really. The world is still a sh*thole half the towns don't exist anymore and horrible monstrosities still roam the planet.
Celes: Uh, but... We can still rebuild.
Edgar: It's the end of the game, Celes. Just... let it go. Roll credits.
- When Rinoa performs the Angelo Cannon, poor Angelo dies on impact.Rinoa: Angelo Cannon! (shoots Angelo into the monster group where he messily splatters on impact) ... uh... oops...Squall: What the f*** is wrong with you!?
- Crisis Core has Zack's Last Stand play out much differently than it did in canon.
- In the II parody, the Emperor over-estimates his own abilities, brushing off the Dark Knight's warnings about the feats Firion and his friends have done. It ended they way you think.
- Recycled Premise:
- Lampshaded in the V parody, where the narrator thinks he's been given the script for the first game instead.
- After Zidane realizes that he's from another world, Kuja is his brother and might be redeemed, Cecil complains that they're stealing his thunder and he did it first. Garland's standing next to him.
- Lightning is presented with a cease and desist for ripping off the opening of FFVII as a soldier with a sword who sneaks onto a train with a black guy carrying a gun, fighting other soldiers and a giant mechanical scorpion. Lightning points out that it's an homage while the lawyer claims it's plagarism. The same lawyer returns after Galenth transforms into Barthandelus, accusing them of ripping off Cagnazzo.
- Reluctant Hero: Bartz, initially. Boko has to chew him out for it.Boko: *squawking* (Aren't you going to go back and help them?)Bartz: I know, she was hot, Boko. But there were like, two goblins out there, I could've died!Boko: *squawking* (Don't be a little bitch, HELP THEM!)Bartz: Fine, I'll take advice from a Chocobo and risk my life for two random strangers.
- Remember the New Guy?: In XV, Jared's role is this after Gladio just got done talking about Aerith and Bob.Prompto: "Who the hell is Jared?"
Noctis: "He's the Amacita family butler, but the game neglects to tell you that, so his death comes off as completely meaningless in emotional impact."
Prompto: "Whoa spoilers!"
Noctis: "Read the script!"
Prompto: "No, reading is for nerds!"
Noctis: "That one was two parodies ago. Don't push it."
- The Roleplayer: Lalafelon is so committed to his lalafell supremacy that he utterly refuses to heal the tank.
- Rotating Protagonist: VI opens up with a boardroom meeting of the party discussing just which of them is the REAL main character.Terra: I'm the main character. The story starts with me and my backstory features into a lot of the main storyline.
Celes: Yes, but when the world ends, the story focuses on me and hello? Iconic opera scene.
Edgar: It's no contest, ladies. I'm clearly the main character. I own a castle after all. And I have the most dialogue in this parody.
Locke: I have a love subplot with Celes and the game starts in my hometown.
Edgar: No offense Locke, but if we don't go into Phoenix Mountain, we never even find you. In fact, you and Terra are completely optional. We could storm Kefka's Tower without either of you if we want.
Setzer: Need I remind all of you I am the source of both airships in this game? You can't even get to the end without me.
Mog: Guys, I can settle this right now. I'm the main character. See? (He produces the Final Fantasy III US cover which has Mog on the cover) I'm on the cover of the game!
Edgar: Well there's no arguing with that.
Locke: I thought this was Final Fantasy VI.
- Rubber Hose Limbs: The art style draws character's arms as curved lines.
- Rummage Sale Reject: In XIV Part 1, Hyurbert is this when he meets Y'shtola after complaining about her Yew Wand, and while he's a Marauder.(Hyurbert and Roechelle are fighting a goobue)
Y'shtola: Hello there. My name is Y'shtola, and I will aid you against this foul beast.
Hyurbert: You're using a twig?
Y'shtola: It's a wand.
Hyurbert: Yeah, it looks like a twig.
Y'shtola: And you look like a dickhead in that mismatched armor.
Hyurbert: I'm doing my best, okay?!
- Running Gag:
Warrior: Just sleep it off, youll be fine.Black Mage: (Is heavily wounded and collapses)
- The "Sleep it off, you'll be fine." gag comes in different flavors.
(Maria is petrified)Firion: Just sleep it off, youll be fine.(Beat. Drags away Marias stone body)
Ingus: (mortally wounded) I dont... feel so good... (falls And dies)Reifa: Hes dead! (Cries)Luneth: Just sleep it off, youll be fine.''Reifa: (Stops crying) That doesnt work in this one!
(Cecil apparently talking to no one)Cecil: Just sleep it off, youll be fine. Uh... where are you?Rosa: (miniturized and popping up from the bottom of the screen) Down here.Cecil: Oh there you are! Yeah yeah, go sleep it off, youll be fine.
(Bartz talks to zombified Galuf)Bartz: Just sleep it off, youll be fine. (Zombie Galuf shuffles towards him) Uh oh! (runs off screaming)
(Edgar talks to a kappa)Edgar: Just sleep it off, youll be fine. Uh... who are you?Kappa: (in weird voice) Its me, Terra.Edgar: Eww... you really let yourself go!
(Cloud cradles Aeriths dead body)
—>Cloud: Just... just sleep it off... youll be fine... oh God... (bawls)
(Quistis talks to Squall impaled by an icicle lance)
Quistis: Just sleep it off, youll be fine.
Squall: Please... insert... disc... t... two... ugh!(falls over)
(Beatrix defeats Zidane, Freya, and Vivi)
Beatrix: Oh just sleep it off, youll be fine. ... Oh come on, now, don't be so dramatic, I left you all with 1 HP. I'm not a total bitch, I'm just morally conflicted!
(Tidus is mortally wounded)
Tidus: I'm bleeding out of orifices I didn't even know I had...
Yuna: Just touch the save point, youll be fine.
Tidus: (touches save point and is healed instantly) Whoa! Incredible! This gives me an idea... (scene change to Tidus with the save point sphere strapped to his chest) FOR FREEDOM!!!! (jumps at Sin who vaporizes him)
(Balthier talks to a heavily injured Basche)
Balthier: Just stand around, stay away from the enemies, and let your HP regenerate slowly. Youll be fine.
(Lightning talks to a heavily injured Snow)
Snow: Ooooh! OOOOWWWW!
Lightning: Just get into a random battle and your HP will recover after you win. Youll be fine.
Snow: OOOOWWWW!!! (drops dead)
(Hyurbert is looking rather blue)
- XIV Part 1
Hyurbert: I'm blind, slow, heavy, poisoned, paralyzed and silenced!
Eliza: Just wait 20-30 seconds, you'll be fine!
Hyurbert: But we're still in combat!
(Camera zooms out to reveal Roechelle is fighting a morbol)
Eliza: Oh, right. Uhh, Lalafelon?
Lalafelon: (He's catching up on his fishing) Let him die.
(Ignis talks to a heavily injured Noctis)
Ignis: Just spam potions, you'll be fine.
Gladiolus: (heavily injured with Prompto lying dead in the background) What about us?
Ignis: .... same thing... I guess?
(Zack falls onto Aerith's flowers, bones sticking out, bleeding all over)
- Crisis Core
Aerith: Oh my god. Get off the flowers you heartless monster.
Zack: Ugghh... call... an ambulance... Aaaggh!
Aerith: Are we really reusing this joke word for word?
Zack: If they're lazily gonna make me meet you the exact way Cloud does, then we're gonna use the exact same joke. Now just tell me to "sleep it off and I'll be fine."
Aerith: Just... sleep it off you'll be fine?
Zack: (pulling out a notepad) Check!
- If something seems sexy, no matter how gross or monstrous it is, the heroes point out that they'd still hit it.
- In the parody for III, Luneth takes things without paying and ups his tab, only to tell his party "We can never (visit this place) again".
- In the IV parody, Cecil, Kain and Golbez give someone a card apologizing for their villainous wrongdoings in surprisingly accurate detail.Rydia: Where the hell are you guys getting these cards?
- Also in IV some party members sacrificing themselves to save everyone else, which gets on Cecil's nerves.Cecil: Would everyone please stop sacrificing themselves for a few minutes!? We are literally getting nowhere in this narrative because everyone decides to kill themselves over the slightest thing going wrong!
- The heroes of V pointing and laughing at someone.
- Cid's Mickey Mouse "ha ha!" laugh in the VIII parody.
- A character having a baffled and silent "I don't know!" expression as with RABtoons other works.
- Characters introducing themselves or others, ending with "by the way".
- In X no one knows Tidus's name since it was never spoken aloud the whole episode.
- "No need to be a dick about it."
- Well this has been a monumental waste of time.
- Some characters bypass guards by jumping on them or over them, accompanied by the Mario jump sound effect.
- If there's any writing, expect to see the phrase "Pee is stored in the balls".
- Balthier constantly complains that the plot of XII isn't a rehash of Star Wars.
- Lightning and the cast of XIII repeatedly getting hit with lawsuits by characters from previous games suing them for plagarism, until finally getting sued by the fanbase for ruining the series.
- Noctis in the XV nutshell getting increasingly annoyed at how incomplete their game is with how its parts are split into DLC.
- In XIV Part 1, people can't understand Roechelle and demand she speak English or turn on Auto Translate. The only word she says to that is "No."
- The "Sleep it off, you'll be fine." gag comes in different flavors.
- Samus Is a Girl:
- When Faris reveals that she's a woman, Bartz is glad that his boners for her weren't gay.
- When Setzer reveals that Darill was a woman, the party is shocked, thinking she was a guy instead due to her name.
- Save Scumming: Zidane reveals that he's been doing this for Tetra Master.Zidane: Don't hate the player. Hate the mandatory card game.
- Screwed by the Lawyers: Invoked by Genesis, who explains why Crisis Core hasn't seen a rerelease, remaster or remake."My name is Gackt—er, I mean Genesis. I will talk entirely in terrible poetry instead of being a compelling character, and be a major contribution to why this game will never, ever get a remaster due to my likeness and audio licensing issues."
- Also happens out of universe with them having to change the music for the Genesis/Sephiroth duel because of a copyright strike.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!:
- The Black Mage jumps off the airship in the first parody.
- Cecil simply walks away when Rubicante shows up, to the latter's disappointment.
- Cecil gets fed up after being told Golbez is actually his brother when he sarcastically joked about it and quits. His part then gets played by Barret Wallace.
- Three episodes later, Barret ditches his team after fighting an icicle, and his part gets played by Cecil.
- Cyan pretty much declares this when Sabin tries to stop the Ghost Train with his bare hands. Cyan and Shadow jump out of the way while Sabin gets run over by it.
- Edgar and Sabin pull this when they find a Zone Eater, leaving Gogo waiting inside for someone to discover him.
- Cloud decides to forfeit the submarine mini-game and let Shinra get the Materia.
- Zidane does this in the Festival of the Hunt when the guard kept explaining things while the timer was going down, then invites him to go out for a drink since he'd get better stuff if his teammates win anyway.
- In the XI parody, the player custom character is excited to save the world, until hes informed he has to pay a monthly fee. He tells the NPC he can screw the idea before leaving in a huff.Player: Awesome! I cant wait to save the world!NPC: Great! That will be $14.99 a month, please!Player: (Beat) ... What? You mean I gotta PAY for the privilege to save your asses!?NPC: Yep! So will you be using Visa or Mastercard?Player: Okay, firstly, screw that! Secondly, screw you! Third of all, youre on your own! Im outta here!
- Seen It All: In XIV Part 1, Eliza is this, having gone through the main story several times on several different alts to the point she's nonplussed on all the plot twists that happen throughout "A Realm Reborn's" story.
- The description of the second game's parody mentions that it's one of Fullmetalraz's favorites, but since he likes XIII and all of its sequels, he states that his opinion is invalid.
- The fifth episode mistakenly refers to Krile as Galuf's daughter when she's actually his granddaughter. In the sixth episode, Strago introduces his granddaughter, Relm, and Edgar thinks it's his daughter instead. Strago asks what idiot would make the same mistake twice.
- When Mog tries to have Umaro recruited, Edgar points out that the party's gotten so big he can't remember their names, and refers to them all by insults. This even includes him, "a pompous egotistical king". The other thirteen aren't pleased.Edgar: Let's see... there's that pansy ass thief (Locke), the half-esper emo freak (Terra), my dumbass brother (Sabin), an asshole ninja (Shadow), uncle Macbeth (Cyan), soppy tits (Celes), the gay gambler (Setzer), that stupid animal kid (Gau), the old fogey (Strago), old fogey's annoying ass kid (Relm), that stupid cat thing (Mog), some robed moron who copies everyone (Gogo), a pompous egotistical king (Edgar), and now you want me to add a stupid yeti (Umaro) into the mix? (everyone glares at him) Why're you all staring at me?
- In the fake collab video with "Just a Pancake"note , the Running Gag of obese women gets called out.(Artwork of an overweight Tifa appears)"Just a Pancake": What the fudge was that?Zidane: I dunno. It sounds like RABToons' disgusting fetish disguised as a cheap joke.
- Self-Plagiarism: Lightning and her crew would get accused of plagiarism of past games by a lawyer. First they get sued by Cloud and Barret, then by Cagnazzo. XIII Cid nearly gets sued himself by XII Cid since he did the evil Cid role first, but managed to avoid it by correcting hes more an anti-hero Cid.
- Senseless Sacrifice: Pretty much everywhere there's a sacrifice involved. The IV parody has an absolute field day with this.
- Shaking the Rump: Eliza's "Behind the Light" has Zenos yae Galvus dancing in the Royal Menagerie shaking his butt while getting some dancing in.
- Shave And A Haircut: The XIII Nutshell's version of "My Hands" ends this way.
- Shout-Out: Now moved to its own section.
- Sidetracked by the Gold Saucer: Invoked by the literal trope namer in this case in XIV Part 1, leaving the party too late for the attack on the Waking Sands.
- Slapstick Knows No Gender: The ladies aren't spared from being punched, stabbed, decapitated, killed, or blown up any less than the guys.
- The Smurfette Principle: Lampshaded in the Dissidia episode with Terra, who is the only female protagonist in the group, appearing as the VI representative instead of Edgar.Terra: Edgar wanted to be here, but he said, and I quote: "It's a total sausage fest, (irritated) send the esper emo freak instead"...
- Sociopathic Hero: All over the place. Most of the cast, really.
- So Long, and Thanks for All the Gear:
- Firion cries when Josef dies, but only because all the decent armor he gave him is now crushed. When Minwu dies, Firion tries to take his useful gear back, but Minwu fades out of existence before he can.
- When Aerith dies, Tifa asks Cloud if he removed all her items, money and gear. Based on how fast she sinks into the water, he clearly didn't.
- Something We Forgot: The Recap Episode for Chapter 1 of the Outcasts subplot has them make a pit stop in Ipsen's Castle in IX. Gordon, narrating, noted Edge look remorseful, wondering if they forgot someone.
- Sore Loser: Trance Kuja pulls a Taking You with Me on the party.Trance Kuja: If I can't win... F*** YOU! ULTIMA, BEEEEIIIIIIIITCH! (cue stock explosion)
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Guy speak beaver. Somewhat with Bartz. He can only understand half of what what his Chocobo says.Boko: *squawking* (Bartz! A meteorite fell over there!)Bartz: What is it, boy? Little Jimmy fell down the well?Boko: *squawking* (No retard, a meteorite fell OVER THERE!)Bartz: There's a hot girl over there? I'm on my way!
- Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Crisis Core has Sephiroth do this by pulling a Big Damn Heroes by one-shotting Ifrit, then having the crowd cheer.
- The Stinger: Most episodes after VII feature a post-credits scene following The Outcasts. The first Outcasts episode even ends with Edge saying the whole episode was an after credits scene.
- Stock Footage: Often in the form of a huge explosion.
- Stripperiffic: Yunalesca, full stop. Tidus even mistakes her for a stripper and treats her as such.Tidus: THAT'S Lady Yunalesca? Hot damn! Yuna, I hate to break it to you, but you were clearly named after daddy's favorite stripper.Yunalesca: Just for that, I'm gonna kill you first.Tidus: Kill as in XP grind on my junk til I level up in my pants?
- Stupid Evil: The Emperor, in spades. His mooks point out virtually every flaw in his plans for him, but he's too much of a Smug Snake to realize it.
- Stylistic Suck:
- The art style, admitted as such by RABToons to allow for quicker releases and part of the charm.
- The cover of "My Hands" from the XIII Nutshell by RABToons and Balmy Mel, who voices Vanille in the episode. The full version of the song points out that she can sing quite well and the whole thing is a joke.
- Sure, Let's Go with That:
- In the II parody, the dying Wyvern tasks Firion with taking the last wyvern egg to the Spring of Life, which Firion assumes will help let it hatch. The Wyvern's response? "Uh, sure, why not?"
- In VI, when Edgar decides to go to Narshe, he tells Locke to be useless somewhere else and sneak into enemy territory. Locke assumes it'll help the rebellion, and Edgar also replies with, "Sure, why not?"
- Suspiciously Similar Song: Lampshaded in the beginning of XIV Part 1 to their cover of "Answers.""To all of my viewers
We could not obtain the rights
So here is our version
With some off key variations
Our show is still fun
Though the music is distasteful
Watch it through to the end
And you'll still have a good laugh
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute:
- When the heroes encounter Exdeath for the first time, it's actually Golbez. Then when the real Exdeath kicks him out, he refers to himself as "Evil Tree Golbez".Golbez: (appears) Yes! It is I! The evil warlock, Exdeath! Mwahahahaha! (Exdeath walks in and kicks Golbez out of frame) Ow!Exdeath: No youre not! Get out of here, you!
- When Galuf kicks the bucket in the same episode.Bartz: Galuf! You can't die! We need you!Galuf: D-Don't *cough* worry. I will pass my... exact abilities, level and stats onto my... daughternote ... and all my equipment will fit her perfectly... some...how. (dies)Bartz: Oh, okay, then. I guess that works out pretty well. (drops Galuf and leaves)
- When the heroes encounter Exdeath for the first time, it's actually Golbez. Then when the real Exdeath kicks him out, he refers to himself as "Evil Tree Golbez".
- Swallowed Whole: In VI, Sabin and Cyan decide to watch what happens when Gau learns his Rages. It involves tossing a monster up in the air, unhinging his jaw and swallowing it in one gulp.
- Take That, Audience!:
- The opening for the IX parody takes a small jab at the fandom.Narrator: Final Fantasy IX, the one everyone hated but now loves. Oh but wait, that's all of them. You stay confusing, Final Fantasy fans.
- Lightning takes a huge one at the fanbase when Mr. Lawyer files a lawsuit on behalf of the fans who accuse her of ruining the series.Mr. Lawyer: They said you are literally worse than Hitler.Lightning: They sound like a bunch of entitled, whiny bitches to me.Mr. Lawyer: Yes they are, but they are many and you are not.
- The opening for the IX parody takes a small jab at the fandom.
- Take That!:
- The opening of the III parody opens with the announcer saying the game was the last to be localized for the west because of how bad it was.
- Towards Gogo and Umaro about how useless they are as party members.Edgar: Right. We have our three teams of four. Lets go get Kefka!Gogo: What about us?Edgar: Uh, stay up here and be useless?
- Before that, during the skit in Mobliz, there was a graffiti on the ground reading "Umaro Sux!"
- In VIII Squall calls out the absurdity of the party's forgotten origins, being no more than an Ass Pull.Squall: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hold up! You're telling me we all just happened to be raised in the same orphanage, even those of us that came from completely different regions who just happened to join a team... by chance... INCLUDING the teacher and my nemesis? And we were raised by the same Sorceress we're all trying to defeat? And we all just happen to CONVENIENTLY forget this because we sometimes use summoned monsters... I mean... that's ridiculous in its own right... but it made us specifically forget what should be a HUGE part of our lives in particular! Huh... I mean... how does using a summoned monster even make you forget things anyway?Quistis: Okay, I get it. It's not as good as VI or VII. Just... just roll with it, okay?
- In IX after Garnet does her Important Haircut, Zidane downplays it by saying that was a pointless thing to do and that it looks stupid to boot.
- Also towards the sudden appearance of Necron.Necron: Hey.Zidane: Uh... hi...?Necron: So... we gonna like fight, or...Zidane: Uh... Im sorry... uh... who are you?Necron: A poorly implemented final boss.Zidane: Aw man!
- Amarant gets a particularly cutting one in that he doesn't even appear at all. Not as an Outcast like most of the forgotten parody characters, not even as a cardboard cutout like Penelo. The closest the series gets to acknowledging his existence is in the Outcasts Recap Episode...as a Something We Forgot joke that still doesn't mention him by name.
- Also towards the sudden appearance of Necron.
- The VIII and X parodies take a jab at the XIII trilogy, joking that Lightning ruined the franchise.
- The Dissidia parody takes several jabs at each game in the series, but II, III and VIII get the worst of it.
- XII has theirs be that there's always a reason they can't just use an airship to get where they need to go, requiring the party to go on foot to pad out the game. For example, Balthier's airship can't fly over desert or that flying to Archades is a death trap.
- XIII gets it worse as a lawyer comes to tell Lightning that shes being sued by the fans of the franchise for ruining the series to the point of being unsalvagable.
- XV gets the brunt of how for all of its three years in Development Hell, everyone does the same hand fanning animation, that Aranea is a Punch-Clock Villain who has all the power to pulverize the party and leaves soon as her shift's over, the Empire took over Insomnia in hours and yet it's so easy for four teenagers to lay waste to them, and when Gentiana as Shiva does an Exposition Dump when Noctis paid full price for the game. There's also a lot of Show, Don't Tell scenes involving Gladio, Ignis and Prompto unless you buy their respective DLC.
- Talking to Himself: Invoked and lampshaded in the Dissidia parody, where Bartz tells Tidus that he has a charasmatic and smooth voice, and Tidus returns the compliment. They're both voiced by the same actor, Reggie Gacad (Regacman).
- There Is No Kill Like Overkill: In XV, Lunafreya at first gets a simple stabbing from Ardyn until Sephiroth comes in and says it could have been done better and does his diving stab like he did to Aerith. Golbez comes in next and says the trope name while casting Meteor on her, followed by Exdeath adding even more pain before Kefka finally comes in and just throws her into the water.
- They Killed Kenny Again: A lot of characters get killed in one sketch and appear fine in the next.
- This Is Gonna Suck:
- This Is the Final Battle:
- Sephiroth says this to Cloud's party, but he's nice enough to let them prepare for it.Sephiroth: Now it's time for the final battle, where the very fate of the world will be decided once and for all. But first, why don't you organize your team? You know, sort out your equipment, weapons, and stuff? Go on, I'll wait. (reads "The Daily Meteor" newspaper while everyone else stares in confusion)
- Lightning declares this for her party. Well, three of them anyway.Lightning: This is it, guys. The final battle. This is our final fight! Well, the final fight for three of us. That's just how the battle system works, but it'll be like we all worked together, right?(beat)Sazh: God damn it, I hate you.
- Sephiroth says this to Cloud's party, but he's nice enough to let them prepare for it.
- Throwing the Fight: After tricking nearly everyone else to admit their game is the worst, Terra's able to make Zidane do this when it's just the two of them remaining in the Dissidia competition.Terra: *sigh* So, it's down to just us.Zidane: I think we can both agree that we are both equally amazing.Terra: I'll let you touch my boob if you stand down.Zidane: Sold for one boob! (grabs Terra's boob) Hoooonnnk!
- Timed Mission: In VII and IX, the characters complain that the countdown continues to go down even during loading screens, victory animations and explanations.
- Time Travel: Hoo boy.
- Ripped apart in the first game's parody.Garland: When you defeated me in my time, the four fiends sent me back in time, then I sent them forward in time so they could send me back in time so I could send them forward in time so they could send me back in time so then I could send them forward in time so they could send-Warrior: Wait wait, wait wait wait. So you died, but got sent back in time by the fiends who you then sent forward so they could send you back? So if you're the one who sent them forward in the first place and they were the ones who sent you back first, so you could send them forward, then how the hell did this timeloop start?Garland: I, uh, well, it's like, um. Uh...Warrior: I don't think we should do time travel again in this series.Garland: Can I turn into my final form now?Warrior: No.(cue Curb-Stomp Battle)Garland: AH! AH! So easily defeated again!
- When Kefka destroys the world and wins, he demonstrates it to the other Final Fantasy villains to show them how it's done. He asks if anyone has any questions, and Garland, Ultimecia and Caius raise their hands. When Kefka asks if anyone has any question that doesn't involve time travel, they lower them.
- When Squall and his team head to the future to fight Ultimecia, the Warrior arrives in a DeLorean and urges Squall to help him save the future of the series.Warrior: Squall! You gotta come with me! Back to the future!Squall: Yeah. That's what I said. To go stop Ultimecia.Warrior: No no! The whole Ultimecia thing turns out fine! Time compression, lot of weird s*** happens, but it all works out somehow. It's the future of the series, Squall! Something's got to be done about the future of the series!Squall: Why? What happens?Warrior: Final Fantasy XIII gets two sequels!Squall: ... GREAT SCOTT!
- The Outcasts also use this to travel between games, either from the DeLorean or Edge's car.
- As a Continuity Nod, Warrior of Light and Squall appear at the end of the XIII Nutshell, and accidentally killed its cast on entry.
- Ripped apart in the first game's parody.
- Toilet Humor:
- Too Dumb to Live: A LOT of these. What stands out most is when after Firion and crew reach the Emperor's lair within the Cyclone, Firion and Maria jump off the wyvern into the castle, but Guy jumps off in the opposite direction, right outside the palace several miles up.
- Training from Hell: Firion helps Guy raise his max HP by stabbing him repeatedly. He offers to help Maria raise her Max HP the same way and winds up accidentally killing her. Then Firion stabs himself to raise his max HP but winds up killing himself.
- Trauma Inn: The main subject of the series' Running Gag when a party member is heavily injured or suffering a status ailment, "Just sleep it off, you'll be fine". Averted in the X nutshell and all that came after it since they lack the inn mechanic.
- 24-Hour Armor: In XIV Part 1, Livia sas Junius questions Gaius about this while recapping the story.Livia: Why do we need to be in full armor while having this discussion? I'm sweating my tits off in here.
Gaius: Because how else are people supposed to know we're the bad guys? Duh."
- Uncanny Valley: An In-Universe example in XV. Noctis is unnerved how out of everyone they meet, Vyv looks the most... human. He wonders if he's someone who won a contest to get put in the game.
- Unexplained Recovery: Aside from everyone dying regularly, Biggs and Wedge get blown up in the opening of VI and appear later as the guards watching over Celes. This gets lampshaded in the X parody, as Seymour explains that this series is a parody and therefore has No Continuity.
- Unfortunate Names:
- The names of the heroes for the first game: Gayface, Vagflaps, Poop and Assfart. They all address each other by their proper classes instead, and are credited as such.
- Ingus. Luneth calls him "Ingus the dingus", but when Ingus tells him he's heard it all before, Luneth has a list of other names for him and, disappointed, tosses it out.
- When Bartz laughs at Galuf's name, Galuf retorts by pointing out how dumb Bartz sounds, and brings up his Japanese name, "Butz".
- When Garnet tries to think of a name for her new identity, she's given, of all things, "Dickpoop".
- Apparently, someone entered "Asshole" for Tidus' name.
- The narrator for the April Fools episode can't hold in his laughter after saying "Onion Knights".
- In Crisis Core, Zack feels Cloud Strife is this.Zack: Oh, yikes. You were set up to be an edgelord from birth, huh?
- Unfortunate Character Design: Invoked and lampshaded with Master NORG.NORG: My chin looks like a gigantic nutsack.
- The Unpronounceable: XIV Part 1 treats Admiral Merlwyb Bloefyswyn as this by calling her Vowel Diarrhea.
- Unreliable Narrator:
- Zidane uses a save book to tell his version of the game's events. He gets called out for it, but he insists he's telling the truth. His truth, anyway.
- Tidus reveals his story as a beloved blitzball player with many fans. Auron tells him it's not how it happened; Tidus didn't have any fans at all.
- Valley Girl: Aerith is given this kind of voice. Rachel to a lesser extent.
- Verbal Tic: Cid Kramer has a Mickey Mouse-like "ha ha!" after almost everything he says. Even when his wife tells him he's not getting laid.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: Lulu stores a ton of crap between her boobs. Intrigued, Tidus jumps inside her cleavage to get to the bottom of it. He lands in a warehouse. Tidus's stuff happens to be in Aisle DD.
- Victory Pose: In X, Tidus's sword lands right in his head in a mishap, with the doctor being exhasperated that this kind of thing keeps happening with FF heroes. Just to prove his point, Cloud comes in after accidentally slicing off Tifa and Barret's heads.
- Video Game Cruelty Potential: XIV Part 1 has Lalafelon take advantage of it by making the Gridanian memorial service for the Calamity start...at 3 AM! Kan-E-Senna, as well as the audience, is barely able to stay awake, if not falling asleep.
- Villain Forgot to Level Grind:
- The Emperor actually prepared himself to take on Firion's party by getting himself a "kickass, monstrous final form". When Firion reveals they've been grinding for days and maxed out their stats, he knows he's boned and submits.
- Inverted in VIII. The reason Squall is having a hard time fighting enemies in his game is because the enemies got savvy and started working out at the gym, deciding that the heroes aren't the only ones who should be leveling up.
- Villain Has a Point: When Exdeath explains his evil plan of merging their two worlds together, Bartz actually supports it because it would be beneficial for both worlds' economies and resources, catching Exdeath off guard.
- Villainous Friendship: In the Dissidia parody, while the protagonists are at each others' throats to prove that their game is better than the others, the villains have nothing but compliments to shower each other with.
- Visual Pun:
- In III, Luneth says in fear that the Cloud of Darkness has come. It then reveals VII Cloud.
- A woman in the X parody tells Tidus to "Have our babies!" A baby then gets thrown at him.
- In the same episode, a boy tells Tidus he wants to be a blitzball when he grows up. Years later, he becomes an actual ball in the game.
- When Tidus tells Wakka he's dodging lightning to get a special item, he tells Wakka to get out of the way just before XIII Lightning lands on him.
- Penelo is depicted in the XII Nutshell as a cardboard cutout with no lines, making her a literal Flat Character.
- Vocal Dissonance:
- The Emperor and Kuja are both given extremely feminine voices. Wonder why?
- When Iron Claw appears in V, he's given Edward's high-pitched nasally voice.Iron Claw: Don't laugh at me, I'm a feared assassin!
- When Celes shows the world her singing ability, her singing voice from the SNES version is played. The audience isn't impressed.
- Vulgar Humor: When the heroes of the first game are named Gayface, Vagflaps, Poop and Assfart, you can guess what kind of humor the series also has to offer. There's plenty of offensive jokes to go around.
- We Cannot Go On Without You: Once Lightning gets taken out, Sazh complains that they're getting a Game Over when the rest of them are just fine.Lightning: Don't worry, guys. As the main party leader, I got this.(Lightning is taken out with a kick to the head and "Game Over" appears on screen)Sazh: Wait, what? How is that a Game Over? We're still standing! I have a Phoenix Down! (screen begins to fade) Hey! Don't you fade out on me!
- We Hardly Knew Ye:
- In II, as Cid lays dying in bed while giving the party the airship while the sad music plays, Firion calls for the "sad music" to stop on account of this trope.Firion: Was... that supposed to be sad? I spoke to him like, what, once? Maybe twice, tops. Guys, cut the sad music. He wasn't an important character.
Maria: You're an asshole.
- In IX, Vivi asks about Quina who got caught in the destruction of Burmecia.Vivi: What about Quina?
Zidane: (sarcastically) Oh no, we lost the walking, two-dimensional fat joke.
Vivi: No need to be a dick about it.
- In II, as Cid lays dying in bed while giving the party the airship while the sad music plays, Firion calls for the "sad music" to stop on account of this trope.
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong?:
- The moment Firion mentions they need to find a way to get to Deist, Leila suddenly appears and offers her ship. Maria notices how oddly convenient it all is.Firion: Look, Maria. I'm sure the random pirate girl who just so happens to be going to Deist and is offering to take us free of charge is completely trustworthy. Okay?(Scene changes to Firion's party getting ambushed by Leila's crew)Maria: Told you.
- Happens again in the VI parody when Gestahl tries to offer a truce to end the war.Edgar: So you want to end the war all of a sudden, and you want us to trust you just like that and work together?Gestahl: (chuckling nervously while sweating)Edgar: I foresee no way this could possibly go wrong.
- The moment Firion mentions they need to find a way to get to Deist, Leila suddenly appears and offers her ship. Maria notices how oddly convenient it all is.
- What Happened to the Mouse?:
- Crossed over with Mythology Gag, In XV, when Ignis hands Noctis the newspaper showing Insomnia was taken over, one of the stories in the paper asks whatever happened to Stella Nox Fleuret, who was meant to be one of the main characters in Final Fantasy Versus XIII, the game that turned into XV.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Far too many examples to list, since all of our heroes Took a Level in Jerkass and get called out for it every time. Every time.
- What the Hell Is That Accent?: In XII, Dolan does this, shifting between at least two Southern US accents, an Irish accent and a somewhat Arabic accent."Listen wisely to my inconsistent accent, m'boy."
- Wholesome Crossdresser: Aside from dressing up as a girl to impress Don Corneo, Cloud assumes that Cosmos called all of the protagonists together to compete in a drag race and quickly changes into his girl clothes.
- Who Writes This Crap?!: The characters tend not to be amused by a game event being turned into a cheesy joke. For example, III initially reveals the Cloud of Darkness as Cloud from VII in his catatonic identity crisis state. Luneth is not amused and asks for the real final boss.
- Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?:
- The villains are often asked why they don't simply take out the heroes given how powerful they already are or are said to be. Apparently it's just not the villain way. Even when Kefka does it, he gets called out on it for not doing it sooner by a mook, who gets obliterated for it.
- Balthier does this to Vaan in their first meeting.
- Balthier decides to kill Vayne in the middle of his speech.Vayne: Ivalice will know a new Dynast-King, and man will keep his own history. The tyranny of the gods is ended. We are their puppets no more. The freedom for which we have longed is at hand- *Boom, Headshot!*Balthier: Blah blah blah. Were we really just going to stand here and let him monologue whilst I HAVE A FREAKING GUN?
- Will They or Won't They?: When Zidane asks Garnet what's the catch for letting him kidnap her so easily, she tells him it's four discs of this trope. He agrees to it, punches her out and takes her away.
- Wooden Stake: After mistaking Vincent for a vampire, Cloud pulls one out of nowhere and kills him with it.
- You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!:
- In VIII, Squall has this reaction when for their final exam where they're thrown into live combat, Quistis pairs him with Zell, who only fights with his fists, and Seifer, who just before tried to kill him and gave him his scar, as well as failed the exam multiple times.
- In XIII, Lightning has this reaction when the game gets another Cease and Desist when Galeth Dynsley reveals himself as the fal'Cie Barthandelus, and the Blue-Haired Lawyer says "evil ruler who reveals they're really a monster" has already been done with Cagnazzo in IV.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Most of the cast. Played with Terra, who Edgar notices doesn't have green hair. When she switches to it, he doesn't like it and changes it back.
- Zero-Effort Boss:
- The Emperor in the final battle of II doesn't even attempt to fight.
- Lampshaded with Paladin Cecil and his Dark Knight half.Tellah: Why aren't you fighting him?Cecil: If I don't do anything he dies automatically after a few turns.Cecil: Okay, no need to be a dick about it.
- Crisis Core has Hollander be this with Zack slicing him in half.Zack: He was a fat, middle-aged man in a lab coat. How was this ever a boss fight?
- XIV Part 2 has this happen three times during "A Realm Reborn's" endgame as the party sits back and lets Rhitahtyn and Livia get beat down by the rest of the pick-up group they're with. Gaius is this even moreso to the point he can't even get his Motive Rant in due to being in chronic pain due to the regular beatdowns other parties give him that Eliza just literally skips the cutscene and he drops down defeated, Ultima Weapon is dropped on top of him... and Thancred!Lahabrea is thrown on top of the heap as well.