"Greetings and welcome to Earthling Cinema. He is your host, Garyx Wormuloid."
Earthling Cinema is a web series made by the group known as Wisecrack. It stars Mark Schroeder as the host Garyx Wormuloid, an alien archeologist that "discovers" movies from the 20th and 21st century, provides hilariously inaccurate summary of the film and then proceeds to give a brief, in-depth look on the message of the film.
Originally found on the Wisecrack YouTube Channel
, it has since been moved to its own channel "Alien's Guide".
Earthling Cinema provides examples of:
- Aliens Speaking English: Subverted, as Garyx claims that humans lack the necessary vocal cords to speak his language, implying that either he is not actually speaking English or he is speaking English but it is a second language for him.
- Ambiguously Bi: Garyx has at least one ex-wife, and, in the Up video, says that who wouldn't want a piece of Kevin's Bacon
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: Garyx himself has these and as a fondness for big eyebrows in movie characters. He even once stated that under his eyebrows, he possesses "another, crazier set of eyebrows." They also connect him to a shared, telepathic network.
- Contagious Powers: Garyx describes Elsa as "a princess who suffers from a rare, human condition called 'unexplained mutant ice powers'."
- The Cuckoolander Was Right: While Garyx is not a traditional Cloudcuckoolander, his spotty (at best) knowledge of humanity often paints him as one. He usually makes wildly inaccurate mistakes when identifying Earth culture, its people, its geography, or its technology. Despite this, his analysis of movie themes and philosophies is almost always spot on.
- Emotion Suppression: According to Garyx, emotions are punishable by death on his planet (though that doesn't stop him from occasionally slipping a smile or scowl every now and again).
- Fictional Currency: As stated here...
- Future Imperfect: The whole joke of the series is Garyx incorrectly explaining the cultural context of the events of each films, the characters and identities of the actors.
- Not So Above It All: While Garyx often dismisses humans for our many faults and relationship problems, he clearly has many similar issues of his own, such as having father issues, trouble with the in-laws, and at least one failed marriage.Garyx: Turns out the artist is actually a boggart named Pennywise, who's preferred pronoun is "it"... [suddenly becomes angry; shakes fist in the air] DAAAD!
- Ominous Message from the Future: Played for laughs, of course. Garyx often makes vague references to whatever it was that caused the collapse of human civilization, but since the audience clearly is supposed to know it already, he never clarifies. The closest thing we've gotten is that it was caused by rampant consumerism and was something impossible to predict and that a meteorite made out of dark matter once crashed into Earth, although he doesn't specify whether that was what finally destroyed the planet or if it was just the final nail in the coffin.
- Rubber-Forehead Aliens: What differentiates Garyx's species from humans physically is his ridiculously bushy eyebrows that extend far beyond his face and curl up into spirals.
- Running Gag:
- Garyx will often misidentify any piece of semi-advanced technology (most often cell phones or computers) as a Samsung Galaxy Note.
- Whenever a clip of someone eating is shown, their mouths are censored with a Censor Box, implying that digestion is offensive to some alien species.
- Garyx likewise often misidentifies non-human Earth creatures as various types of "horses", and when an actual horse is shown, he confuses it with a seahorse or stutters for 10 seconds trying to remember its name.
- Whenever Garyx states the setting of a film, the screen shows a picture of the entire galaxy, with a red arrow pointing to the general vicinity of Earth.
- Garyx often directs his anger at someone called Karen, presumably an ex-wife of his, who fittingly enough shares her name with a stereotype of an Obnoxious Entitled Housewife.
- A Storm Is Coming: In "Hidden Meaning in Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino)", Garyx claims that The American Civil War was "the first of seven".
