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"Greetings and welcome to Earthling Cinema. He is your host, Garryx Wurmuloid."

Earthling Cinema is a web series made by the group known as Wisecrack. It stars Mark Schroeder as the host Garryx Wurmuloid, an alien archeologist that "discovers" movies from the 20th and 21st century, provides hilariously inaccurate summary of the film and then proceeds to give a brief, in-depth look on the message of the film.

Originally found on the Wisecrack YouTube Channel, it has since been moved to its own channel "Alien's Guide".


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Earthling Cinema provides examples of:

  • Aliens Speaking English: Subverted, as Garryx claims that humans lack the necessary vocal cords to speak his language, implying that either he is not actually speaking English or he is speaking English but it is a second language for him.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Garryx has at least one ex-wife, and, in the Up video, says that who wouldn't want a piece of Kevin's Bacon
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: Garryx himself has these and as a fondness for big eyebrows in movie characters. He even once stated that under his eyebrows, he possesses "another, crazier set of eyebrows."
  • Contagious Powers: Garryx describes Elsa as "a princess who suffers from a rare, human condition called 'unexplained mutant ice powers'."
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: While Garryx is not a traditional Cloudcuckoolander, his spotty (at best) knowledge of humanity often paints him as one. He usually makes wildly inaccurate mistakes when identifying Earth culture, its people, its geography, or its technology. Despite this, his analysis of movie themes and philosophies is almost always spot on.
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  • Emotion Suppression: According to Garryx, emotions are punishable by death on his planet (though that doesn't stop him from occasionally slipping a smile or scowl every now and again).
  • Fictional Currency: As stated here...
  • Future Imperfect: The whole joke of the series is Garryx incorrectly explaining the cultural context of the events of each films, the characters and identities of the actors.
  • Not So Above It All: While Garryx often dismisses humans for our many faults and relationship problems, he clearly has many similar issues of his own, such as having father issues, trouble with the in-laws, and at least one failed marriage.
    Garryx: Turns out the artist is actually a boggart named Pennywise, who's preferred pronoun is "it"... [suddenly becomes angry; shakes fist in the air] DAAAD!
  • Rubber-Forehead Aliens: What differentiates Garryx's species from humans physically is his eyebrows.
  • Running Gag:
    • Garryx will often misidentify any piece of semi-advanced technology (most often cell phones or computers) as a Samsung Galaxy Note.
    • Whenever a clip of someone eating is shown, their mouths are censored with a Censor Box, implying that digestion is offensive to some alien species.
    • Garryx likewise often misidentifies non-human Earth creatures as various types of "horses".
    • Whenever Garryx states the setting of a film, the screen shows a picture of the entire galaxy, with a red arrow pointing to the general vicinity of Earth.
  • A Storm Is Coming: In "Hidden Meaning in Django Unchained (Quentin Tarantino)", Garryx claims that The American Civil War was "the first of seven".

 
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Earthling Cinema

Garryx Wurmuloid tries explaining the plot to "Django Unchained".

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