EvAbridged is an abridged series of Rebuild of Evangelion by the internet reviewer Gigguk.
There have been four episodes made so far, each covering a portion of Evangelion 1.0: You Are (Not) Alone:
- 1.0 This is (not) a Parody
- 2.0 Shinji is (not) a Pussy
- 3.0 Rei is (not) Pleased
- 4.0 This is (not) the End
These episodes can be found on YouTube.
Episodes of this series provide examples of:
- All Just a Dream: The events of 4.0.
- Answer Cut:Misato: And whose bright idea was it to build a city with millions of people on top of the world's most dangerous and secretive military base!?
(Cut to...)
Gendo: I'M A FUCKING GENIUS!- In episode 2, combined with an inverse description cut:Misato: Shinji's awake!? Is he alright!?*cut to Shinji in the hospital*Shinji (staring at his own arm): THIS ARM IS STALKING ME!*cut back*Ritsuko: He's perfectly fine!
- In episode 3:Misato: What, Shinji!? What are you gonna do!?*cut*Shinji's SDAT Player: I wanna run away / Never say goodbye......
- In episode 2, combined with an inverse description cut:
- Big "SHUT UP!": Practically Misato's Catchphrase.Misato: We survived because SHUT UP, SHINJI!!
- Blatant Lies:Ritsuko: Well is it still your job to randomly seduce young boys?*shot of Shinji standing about two feet away*Misato: NO!
- Bring My Brown Pants: Gendo's response to the berserk Unit 00 almost killing him: "Aaaand I just shit myself!"
- Also Shinji when getting his ass kicked by the third angelMisato: What's the status of [Shinji]?Makoto: He's currently passed out in the Eva. Also it seems like some of the LCL inside has been replaced with... urine.
- Also Shinji when getting his ass kicked by the third angel
- Buffy Speak: Neither Makoto nor Maya can come up with any better description for the fifth angel than "a thing."
- Butt-Monkey: Shinji. In episode 2 he even asks himself "Why do I always end up as everyone's punching bag?"
- Call-Back: Rei makes an offhanded, deadpan threat to Shinji in 4.0, which is reflected later on after the awesome battle sequence with Ramiel as Ramiel bleeds out LCL.Rei: If you want to cry, then tonight I will show you how it can rain, with tears of scarlet.
- Casual Danger Dialogue: Rei engages in a little of this while tanking a shot from Ramiel in 4.0 so Shinji can shoot it.Rei: That wasn't all talk now, was it?
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander / The Ditz: Gendo has definite elements of these, such as his conviction that the angels are all Godzilla, and his obsession with sandwiches.
- Cloud Cuckoo Landers Minder: Fuyutsuki is this for Gendo, though SEELE does it as well sometimes.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Gendo. Most clearly demonstrated when he talks to Shinji on the phone in the first episode's opening:Gendo: How's your mother doing?Shinji: She's dead.Gendo: AHA HAHAHA AHAHAHA! OH THAT'S HILLARIOUS! AHAHA HAHAHAHA!
- Comically Missing the Point: Shinji does this a lot.Shinji: Was that an insult?Gendo: No, it was a compliment!Shinji: (beat) ...Thank you.
- Deadpan Snarker: Rei. Also Fuyutsuki.*After Rei is horribly injured in the Unit 00 berserker incident*Gendo: REI! You're okay to pilot again, right?Rei: I hope you die in a fire.
- Destructive Savior: Like in the actual movie, Shinji is this.Misato: So let me get this straight: JUST HOW MUCH DAMAGE DID WE CAUSE IN THE LAST BATTLE!?Ritsuko: 70 billion dollars worth of collateral damage.
- Dope Slap: In episode 4 after Shigeru makes one too many double entendres about the fifth angel's drilling.Misato: Makoto.Makoto: Yes, ma'am?Misato: Slap him.
- Doomed Defeatist: One of the NERV Techs in episode 4, though he doesn't die.*the hopelessness of their situation is described*Makoto: So, in other words, we're basically screwed.Misato: We are not screwed!NERV Tech: WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE, WOMAN!
- Dumb Blonde: Gendo is firmly of this opinion. He also can't tell blondes apart from each other.Gendo (noticing Ritsuko): HOLY FUCK IT'S A BLONDE! Does that mean you're dumb and shit?Ritsuko: Sir, I'm Head Scientist here at NERV.Gendo: WHAT KIND OF IDIOT HIRED A BLONDE AS HEAD SCIENTIST!?Ritsuko: You did.Gendo: I what?Ritsuko: Sir, It's me: Ritsuko Akagi.Gendo: OH! My bad, my bad. All you blondes look the same.
- Expy: The voices of Gendo & Shinji are surprisingly similar to that of Rick and Morty, especially considering that both series have the two main leads voiced by the same person. Even more surprising is that 1.0 premiered over a year before Rick and Morty.
- Fantastically Indifferent:Fuyutsuki (thinking): Humanity is dying and all I can think about is how I don't give a fuck.
- Finger-Tenting: Gendo's trademark "Gendo pose", like pretty much everything else, gets parodied.Gendo: OH MY GOD, MY HANDS ARE GLUED TO MY FACE AGAIN!!!
- Fun with Acronyms: Apparently NERV stands for: Nervous Erection Reaches Vagina. If Gendo is to be believed; he claims it's how he lost his virginity.
- Gendo also fails to see any problem with calling the war the "Fight Against Giants," aka "The F.A.G."
- Gilligan Cut:Shinji: I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away! I MUSTN'T RUN AWAY!*cut to Shinji on a train*Conductor: Thank you for using the run away train, we hope you have a pleasant journey.
- Giving Up on Logic: Misato's response to Shinji not running away the one time they want him to.Misato: Shinji, I know I told you you don't have to run away anymore, but we really need you to-Shinji: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *charges the fourth angel*Misato: OH, FUCK EVERYTHING!
- Hand Wave: On why they survived the nuke at point blase.Misato: We survived because SHUT UP SHINJI!
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": Shigeru pretty much any time anyone says anything that could be interpreted as sexually related.
- Hypocritical Humor / Description Cut: After Misato twice denies Ritsuko's allegations that she seduces young boys we get this:Misato (thinking): Seducing young boys. [Ritsuko] doesn't know what she's talking about.Misato: SHINJI, YOU'RE COMING IN ME TONIGHT!Shinji: You mean I'm coming with you, right?Misato: I KNOW WHAT I SAID!
- If My Calculations Are Correct:Misato: How much time until penetration?Makoto: Uh, according to my calculations we have about 12 hours until penetration.Misato: Is that accurate?NERV Tech: Actually, according to my calculations we only have 10 hours until penetration.Makoto: Well, according to my calculations YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CALCULATIONS!NERV Tech: WELL, ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS YOU'RE A FAGGOT!Misato: Hey, HEY! Stay on topic boys.Shigeru: According to my calculations my massive boner is ready for penetration.
- Informed Ability: Misato is supposedly the best driver at NERV.Misato: Don't you worry, I may not look it, but I'm actually an excellent driver.*cut to the car flipped on its side*
- Also:Fuyutsuki: [Shinji] should be here soon sir, we sent our best driver to pick him up.*cut to Misato swerving all over the road*Shinji: CAN YOU NOT DRIVE IN A STRAIGHT LINE WOMAN!?
- Also:
- Is This Thing Still On?: In a flashback, shown to be the reason Unit 00 went berserk.Gendo: And so my wife said "I'd rather die than spend another second with you." So I was all like "HA! JOKE'S ON YOU. YOU CAN GO DIE FOR ALL I CARE 'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY MADE SOME STUPID CLONE OF YOU CALLED REI! HA!" Wait, is this speaker on?Unit 00: *goes berserk*
- Large Ham: Gendo.
- Like Father, Like Son: It's subtle, but Gendo and Shinji tend to react to similar situations in the same way, Gendo because he's a jerk, and Shinji because he's stupid. As a specific example:Shinji: "So wait, does this mean I just got laid?"
Rei: "Sure. Why not?"
Shinji: "Awesome!" *thinking* Now what was that polite thing father told me to say after sleeping with a girl? "So, does bitch wanna make me a sandwich?"
Rei: ...
Shinji: "...Rei?"
Rei: "Sorry, I just realized stupidity is a genetic disorder."
Shinji: "Wonder what she means by that?"
Cut to
Gendo: "So does bitch wanna make me a sandwich?"
Fyutsuki: "Sir, I'm not your wife."
Gendo: "Bitch say what now?" - Linkin Park: Shinji seems to exclusively listen to their songs on his SDAT player.
- Magic Countdown: Parodied in episode 2, with Maya yelling out random numbers for Unit 01's remaining operational time.Maya: We have 30 seconds of operational time left..... 20 seconds!...... 15 seconds!..... 80 seconds!!..... NEGATIVE 47 SECONDS!!!.... 10 seconds remaining!Makoto: 10 seconds!?
- Motor Mouth: Maya dispenses her technobabble in this manner. Misato can never figure out what she is talking about.
- Male Restroom Etiquette: Discussed by Toji and Kensuke when the latter manages to break every single rule. Toji is not happy at all.Toji: Hey Kensuke. Remember when I told you I was pretty desperate for the toilet?Kensuke: Mm-hmm.Toji: I told you once that I get pee-shy around people?Kensuke: Mm-hmm.Toji: SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO TAKE A PISS?!Kensuke: Because it's easier to talk?Toji: ...Don't look at me. Don't speak to me. Don't breathe my air. Not. A. Fucking. Word.Kensuke: ...I can see your weiner~!Toji: OH MY GOD!!!
- Never My Fault:SEELE 06: Mr. Ikari can you explain your thinking behind giving a MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR ROBOT TO YOUR SON ONLY TO HAVE HIM DESTROY HALF THE CITY!?Gendo: FUYUTSUKI DID IT!
- No Indoor Voice: Gendo. Also Misato at times (usually when the control room crew are being idiots).
- No One Should Survive That!: Shinji wonders just how he and Misato survived the nuclear explosion.Shinji: How the hell did we survive that?Misato: Oh I'm sure that people live through massive doses of gamma radiation all the time.Shinji: But how did we survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a car? It doesn't even make any sense!Misato: We survived because: SHUT UP, SHINJI!
- Not What It Looks Like: Shinji tries this on Rei after he falls on top of her. She doesn't buy it.Shinji: This isn't what it looks like!Rei: Oh, well, that's good. Because to me it looks like I'm naked, you're lying on top of me with what appears to be an erection, my underwear is scattered everywhere, and you've just reached second base.
- Nuke 'em: Like in the actual movie, the Japanese Army nukes the third angel.Fuyutsuki: I suggest we fall back for now and come up with a strategy before we do anything stupi-Army Officer: NUKE THE FUCKER!
- On a Scale from One to Ten:Misato: On a scale from "one" to "fucked", how fucked are we?Makoto: I'd say we're pretty fucked.Misato: And Shinji?Shinji (in Unit 01): *babbling* I don't wanna pilot the Eva anymore, I don't wanna pilot the Eva anymore!Makoto: Very fucked.
- Only Sane Man: Rei, Fuyutsuki and to a lesser extent, Misato.
- Misato appears to be the only person in the control room capable of doing her job.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Gendo in episode 4, after Shinji's eva was shot by the angel.
- Operation: [Blank]: Operation Kick-ass, they think the name is fucking stupid.Misato: Okay, that's enough! Everyone, get ready for- "Operation Kick-ass"!Shinji: "Operation Kick-ass?" Is that really the best name you can come up with?Misato: Oh I'm sorry, but "Operation Shinji HAS A MASSIVE VAGINA", was already taken.
- When Gendo insists he commences the operation, he mistakenly calls it as "Operation Kiss-ass"
Gendo: What. - Previously on…: Subverted/Parodied in the second episode where the events shown in the recap are basically a bizarro version of the first episode, with Misato declaring Shinji to be "the manliest hero I have ever seen.... and definitely not a pussy" and Gendo states that he is Shinji's "loving father who is always proud of you". It all turns out to be Shinji dreaming.
- Raging Stiffie: During the scene where Shinji comes visit Rei in her apartment, and accidentally ends up atop of her while she is naked and he is touching her breast, one of the things Rei complains about is that he seems to be having an erection.
- Redshirt Army: Lampshaded in the mock Previously on… part in the second episode:Army Officer: As usual we, the Japanese Military, are useless.
- Rhetorical Question Blunder:Misato: Alpha Team, I need a status report.*Status report is crazy gibberish*Misato: What the hell was that!?Shigeru: I believe that was the status report.Misato: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT IT WAS! THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUES— You know what? Forget it.
- Running Gag:
- "Don't be a dick, Shinji" in the first episode.
- Gendo thinking that the angels are Godzilla.
- Shinji and Genndo sharing the details of their loss of virginity.
- Gendo's "victory sandwich".
- Shigeru saying "I have a boner". In the third episode Misato threatens to kick his ass if he says it one more time.
- Makoto, Maya, and Shigeru yelling "It's an Angel!" and variations thereof. Maya also yells "It's a Gundam!" twice.
- Misato yelling at Shinji to "SHUT UP, Shinji, and get in the GODDAMN [car/bath/etc.]!"
- Sarcasm-Blind: Shinji.Gendo: I have a spineless pussy son with a bigger vagina than Justin Bieber who is so useless he's incapable of even thinking for himself!Shinji: Was that an insult?Gendo: NO, it was a compliment!*beat*Shinji: Thank you.
- Schmuck Bait: Misato encouraging Shinji to repeat her "joke." He falls for it. Twice.Misato (to Ritsuko): Here's a joke for you:Ritsuko: Go on.Misato: Knock knock.Ritsuko: Who's there?Misato: GO FUCK YOURSELF!*later*Shinji: That wasn't a very nice joke you told Dr. Akagi.Misato: It's just a joke between friends, Shinji. Tell it to your friends! I bet they will find it really funny.*later*Shinji: Hey, Toji? Knock knock.... *punched**later*Shinji: Hey, Rei! Knock knock..... *slapped*
- Screams Like a Little Girl: Shinji does this every time Unit 01 is launched.
- Shy Bladder: a running gag in 2.0 involves Toji- who openly admits to being "pee-shy"- trying to urinate, only to be intruded on by Kensuke (who he loudly berates) and the Fourth Angel (when the latter attacks while Toji tries to pee outside when EVA-01 is fighting the Angel).
- A Simple Plan:Fuyutsuki: Are you sure this plan with your son will work?Gendo: OF COURSE I AM! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?? *cut* SHINJI!Shinji: Dad?Gendo: PILOT THIS ROBOT!Shinji: NO!Gendo: FUCK!
- Skewed Priorities: Gendo loves his sandwiches.Gendo: WHERE'S MY DAMN SANDWICH!? I THOUGHT IT WAS LUNCHTIME ALREADY!Fuyutsuki: Sir, I think we have more pressing matters at hand.Gendo: WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY SANDWICH!?Fuyutsuki: What about Shinji, sir?Gendo: Shinji what now?*shot of Shinji screaming while getting his ass kicked by the third angel*Fuyutsuki: Your son, sir.Gendo: Oh, I'm sure he's doing fine.*shot of Unit 01 getting its head impaled by the third angel*Gendo: SOMEONE GET ME MY SANDWICH!
- Staggered Zoom: Done for mock dramatic effect when Maya is counting down Unit 01's operational time and screams "NEGATIVE 47 SECONDS!!!", with the zooms corresponding to each syllable.
- Stupid Boss: Gendo.Misato: So you know what your dad does?Shinji: Not really.Misato: Neither does anyone else around here.
- Suddenly Shouting: Misato does this a lot.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Fuyutsuki thinks this when an argument involving Gendo devolves into "your mom" insults.
- Misato when surrounded by Makoto, Maya, and Shigeru.
- Techno Babble: Maya, Makoto, Shigeru, and Ritsuko all do this. Maya does it the most. Lampshaded by Misato not understanding a word of it.Shigeru: The evangelion isn't responding to the microwave frequency controls!Ritsuko: Check the synchronization rate!Maya: The A-10 synapse synchronization rate is inverting, the pulse is reversing.Misato: ...You what now?Shigeru: Have you tried breaking the circuit!?Maya: Negative, the circuit breakers aren't working! The signal's being rejected by the neural network.Misato: What the hell are you guys talking about!?Maya: Hold on, the harmonic signals I'm receiving have reached resonance.Misato: Harmonic what-!Shigeru: Gamma analysis has just come in. It's code red!Ritsuko: But a resonance in the third-order harmonics can only mean one thing!Maya: The evangelion has gone berserk!Misato: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE SAYING!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONE BERSERK!?Maya: Unit 01 has activated its own AT-field, it's neutralizing the phase-space!Misato: WILL YOU START MAKING SENSE WOMAN!?
- The Tape Knew You Would Run Away:Shinji's Tape Player: *Gendo's voice* Shinji, if you're listening to my tape: STOP RUNNING AWAY AND GET IN THIS GOD DAMN ROBOT!
- This Is Gonna Suck: In episode 4 after Shinji misses the first shot with the positron cannon.NERV Tech: Energy spike from the enemy detected, brace for impact!Makoto: I must concur with this statement.Shigeru (over the radio): ME TOO, COLONEL!
- Tokyo Is the Center of the Universe: Mocked in the very first line of the first episode.Announcer: Warning, the entire city of Tokyo is currently under monster attack number 973....
- In the Previously on… bit at the beginning of the second episode, the number of monster attacks is increased to 10,572.
- Too Much Information:Shinji: ... When a boy and his right hand love each other very very much...Misato: Okay, that's fine, I think I've heard enough!
- The Unintelligible: Alpha and Delta teams' radio transmissions in episode 2. Also, for a completely random moment, Shigeru.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: If Misato and Ritsuko actually are friends as Misato claims, then they would be this, given their back-and-forth bickering/insulting.Shinji: So you and Dr. Akagi are friends?*flashback to Misato and Ritsuko's phone conversation*Flashback Misato: BITCH!Misato: Pretty much.
- Your Mom:
- Gendo gets into a "your mom"-off with one of the Japanese generals in episode 1.
- One sequence depicts SEELE trying to teach Gendo that angels are not Godzilla. When they show him an actual picture of Godzilla, Gendo hesitantly asks if it's the questioner's mom.SEELE: Okay, Mr. Ikari. We will try this one last time. What do you see here?
* picture of angel*
Gendo: IT'S GODZILLA!
SEELE: Incorrect!
(this repeats a few times)
* picture of Godzilla*
Gendo: ... Your mom?
