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Web Video / Coyle Command

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An internet series following the villainous organisation, Coyle Command, in its ongoing mission to destroy their arch enemies, COMMANDO and take over the world. Which would be going a lot smoother if the number of competant operatives couldn't be counted on a single hand.

Existing as a Facebook page for a year or so before hitting Youtube, Coyle Command was essentially created as a parody of COBRA, the villains from G.I. Joe. Outside of a small handful of elements, however, the series has pushed itself into its own territory, rather than relying on parody. The series creator 'That Kid With The Sideburns' (or simply, Kid Sideburns) has mentioned outright forgetting he was originally doing a parody at times.

The core of Coyle Command is made up of..

  • Coyle Commander: Easily angered, faceless and croaky voiced leader of the organisation.
  • Anni Hilator: The Commander's simple minded, partially cybernetic, and fully despised assistant.
  • O'Connell: A rare somewhat competant Mook who is fully loyal to his master.
  • Colonel Blitzer: Head Of Warfare, a half German, half Russian man with a not-at-all-secret sensetive side.
  • Agent B: A stealth expert with an odd hatred towards supermarkets and groceries.
  • Doctor A. Pocalypse: A card carrying Man Child of a Mad Scientist.

The group also participates in a rivalry with the New Villain Order, together a part of the Metaverse.

While not officially ended, has since been all but replaced by the creator's review show Positively Dreadful. Never garnering much of an audience, this new show, while still very ill-known, surpassed Coyle Command in popularity almost immediately.

Coyle Commander did finally reappear in a video responding to the results of the 2016 Presidential Election.

See them here:

This show provides examples of:

  • Affectionate Parody: Breaking Bat is this for Batman, while The O'Connell And Benson Show does it for 80's Sitcoms.
  • Arch-Enemy: COMMANDO, more specifically, Apollo Hurricane.
  • Ambiguously Human: Coyle Commander can't seem to decide whether he is wearing a mask, or if he does in fact lack a face.
    • Doctor A. Pocalypse, who apparently does not eat, and is susprised to find out that people eat using their mouths.
  • All There in the Manual: The superhero Kid Sideburns becomes at the end of Happy Birthday Ray is Captain Mental, another character he created.
    • COMMANDO and its leader, Apollo Hurricane, are mentioned fairly often on the Facebook page, but were physically absent from the show for more than a year.
  • Amoral Attorney: Played with Vic Valhalla. He didn't know Blitzer was actually guilty, but he doesn't seem to mind.
  • Bad Boss: Anni has to pay to work for Coyle Commander, and takes a lot of physical abuse.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: The Commander is mostly a self centered idiot with lots of weapons and henchman. But on the over hand, he's an idiot with lots of weapons and henchmen.
  • Big Bad Duumvirate:
    • Anni appears to be under the impression he is the second in command. He's not.
    • The real second in command, Countess Crossland, is so far unseen because she uses the group's resources to fund expensive vacations.
      • Due to a small fiasco on Facebook, she has been replaced by Harvey the Super Toaster. Yes.
      • Aaaaand subsequently replaced by Blitzer.
  • Blatant Lies: In Coyle Command Assassinates Batman. They do not assassinate Batman.
  • Blessed with Suck: Anni has been upgraded into a super soldier cyborg. His Facebook bio lists 'Poor Eyesight' and 'Extra Sensetive to Pain' as some of his abilities.
  • Call-Back: The use of Surfin' Bird in The Parallel Panic Part 4 when Blitzer is sniping General Osmosis references the NVO video Mission Improbable Part 3 when its played as a missile launch is used to open the dimensional portal.
  • Canon Immigrant: Chrome Dome started out life on the New Villain Order before becoming a part of the 'Command's roster.
  • Catchphrase: Coyle-lalalalalala!
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Anni is the best example, often going on long rants about nothing in particular.
    • Coyle Commander isn't particularly sane himself.
    • Agent B seems to be developing into this as well. Just watch From Cee To Bee.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Blitzer holds the components to construct a machine gun
  • Cyborg: Coyle Commander's assistant Jan is upgraded into one after trying to take over the show (the procedure was intended to kill him). Despite being touted as a super soldier and having computer programs running through his head, this hasn't made him any more useful.
    • Chrome Dome.
  • Deliberately Monochrome: A Zombie for Knightfox is filmed like a Silent Film, complete with piano soundtrack and speech cards.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: Blitzer holds an Enforcer at gunpoint before shooting him in Turning The Cogs, before the official introduction of COMMANDO in Rock You Like A Hurricane.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: Coyle Commander once opened an episode declaring 'Hail Coyle', accompanied by saluting with his hand in a C shape. He has yet to try the former again, apparently on the grounds that it is not as fun as saying 'Coyle-lalala.' The official Facebook page also still lists 'COYEEEEEEEEEEL' as the battlecry, as it was before they started makinng videos.
    • Not completely fazed out, but videos don't usually open with CC twirling around in his chair and talking to the audience as much any more.
  • Expy:
    • The organisation in general is a parody of COBRA.
    • Coyle Commander - Cobra Commander.
    • Anni - Destro
    • Countess Crossland - The Baroness.
    • COMMANDO - GI. Joe.
    • A bit different. Vic Valhalla - Phoenix Wright.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Nobody but O'Connell thinks selling issues of One Moment in Time is acceptable. The video's description even urges you not to agree with him.
  • Evil is Petty: In a rather Meta video, Coyle Commander harasses Kid Sideburns about a rather lackluster birthday video he made for a friend.
  • Evil Versus Evil: For over a year, they had more trouble with the New Villain Order, Professor Chrome and (spoiler: Doctor Vorn's ghost) than they did any heroes.
    • The Commander is almost dethroned by Father Cybernetica in Complete Failure.
  • Failure Hero: Australiaman abducts Blitzer to serve justice, but is killed by him instead.
  • Kaiju: Lord Sock from 'The Good News, The Bad News, and the Godzilla Sock. It is '''NOT''' a sock puppet, but it does happen to look like one.
  • Karmic Death: Australiaman decides to inflict this on Blitzer by hunting him down, unarmed in a forest, thanks to villain's generally loving kidnapping and torture [[spoiler: Averted, as Blitzer immediately hunts and kills him instead.][
  • Machinima: Briefly in 'Adventures in Cloning.' Specifically the Spore Creature Creator.
  • Manchild: When a more proactive villain comes in from an alternate universe, Coyle Commander's first response is to whine about it.
  • Mercy Kill: The Commander suggests doing this to the entire planet after the 2016 Election.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: Half the time, Anni doesn't even seem to know where he is, let alone the assistant to a conquest hungry super villain.
  • Moral Event Horizon: Ensign O'Connell goes through this in-universe when he tries to sell the comic book One Moment in Time. Thankfully he comes to his senses in The Stinger.
  • Mooks: Coyle Troopers, who wear blue Power Rangers Samurai masks.
  • Names to Run Away from Really Fast:
    • Subverted. The Commander's assistant is named Annihilator, which is shortened to Anni.
    • Doctor A. Pocalypse.
  • Non-Indicative Name: White Puma wears more red than white.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: Coyle Commander is hardly a picture of competence, but he is remains a lunatic with lots of resources and firepower nonetheless.
  • Psycho Electro: Pocalypse is definately crazy, and he can shoot lightning from his cybernetic hand.
  • Put on a Bus: Agent B was sent to The Void when he attempted to teleport into Coyle Commander's room with intention to kick ass. He has reappeared through a flashback and his personal video entries.
    • The Bus Came Back
    • Pocalypse also vanished for a bit after he was kidnapped by Yaoi Fangirls at AV Con. He had to swim back to base.
  • Retcon: At the time of filming, the character who knocks out O'Connell and Anni in Coyle Command Assassinates Batman was indeed intended to be Batman, albiet an unusual portrayal. Come Breaking Bat about a year later, he is treated as a different character (Word of God refers to him as Human Bat).
  • Sequel Episode: Breaking Bat to Coyle Command Assassinates Batman, as well as Happy Birthday Ray and Happy Birthday Ray...Again.
  • Sexbot: The Commander is very irritated to find that some of the Troopers figure this is the best use of the Android Program...and them quietly asks Anni is the Science Department have finished making his yet.
  • Shock and Awe: Pocalypse modifies his robotic hand to shoot bolts of electricity as of Shock Treatment.
  • Shout-Out:
    • Breaking Bat. The episode doesn't actually have any similarities to the show.
      • The episode itself has a number of Batman jokes, including visual sound effects, and a character getting their back broken That being The Commander.
    • Coyle Commander occasionally mentions, reads comic books of, or in general has been seen enjoying My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
      • Commander Apollo Hurricane is named afrer one of the founders of Equestria.
    • Rock You Like A Hurricane contains several for the Godzilla franchise.
    • The O'Connell And Benson Show takes inspiration from 80's Sitcoms.
  • Show Within a Show: Coymercials. So far they have mostly tried to sell the Austrlian drink Solo, but have also attempted to sell copies of One Moment in Time.
    • Also, The O'Connell and Benson Show helmed by Anni.
  • Stylistic Suck: Anni was put in charge of every aspect of The O'Connell And Benson Show to save money.
  • The Blank: Coyle Commander, of course.
    • Agent Cee and Mr. E also lack faces. In the case of Ce,m his face is merely shadowed out, while with Mr. E, the entire screen is blurred out.
  • The Bus Came Back: Agent B was banished to The Void for a few months after being caught by the Commander's security system. He finally managed to escape in The Return...using a pick axe.
    • Pocalypse had it similar, getting kidnapped by Yaoi Fangirls shortly after his introduction. His return however had less fanfare; appearing twice (once as a voice)before his absence was discussed in any length.
  • The Cameo: Hazmat Citizen Crusader at the end of A Christmas Coyle as The Ghost of Christmas Haz.
  • The Chew Toy: Anni doesn't get paid, is regularly abused by the Commander, is universally despised by the CC crew, and their in-house dentists apparently want to sell his teeth. Fortunately, he only occasionally seems to realise this.
  • Theme Music Power-Up: Subverted in Breaking Bat. Human Bat beats up the Coyle Troopers regardless of the Intro music playing.
  • They Called Me Mad!: Not entirely untrue, but inappropriate all the same.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Blitzer claims this of Anni's stupidity. In terms of intelligence, he is a fly struggle for life while stuck in the drying cememnt between two bricks.
  • Two-Faced: Switch's mask is green on one side and black on the other.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Type One, Anni doesn't seem to be aware that the Commander despises him.
    • Ironicaly reversed with Anni and Vic. Unlike most everyone else, Vic is fond of Anni, while Anni despises him for being a lawyer.
  • Villain Song: Coyraoke sketches have Coyle Commander singing at least somewhat villainous songs. So far, Dance Magic Dance and Spooky Scary Skeltons.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Coyle Commander is already upset over his constant failures in Complete Failure, but he goes completely nuts when Father Cybernetica tries to dethrone him.
  • Vocal Evolution: Though his appearances was very brief, Vorn's first appearance had him speaking in either no accent at all, or the same as Coyle Commander. In his second appearance, he regularly slips between a shriek and casual tone.
  • Yet Another Christmas Carol: A Christmas Coyle. Notably, the first flashback doesn't quite get the message across, the Commander manages to skip the second, and the third is not the Ghost of Christmas Future, but rather the ghost of Doctor Vorn getting revenge.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Dr. Vorn is no longer needed once Chrome Dome can unambigiously work for the Commander.