CaFae Latte
is an Urban Fantasy Work Com series on TikTok created by C.M. Alongi
. It is set in a cafe run by two fae, with many episodes featuring obnoxious customers who end up getting cursed by Bob (she/her), the powerful fae sorceress who runs the cafe.
The first draft of a novel based on the series (currently titled "The Iron Witch") is posted chapter by chapter on C.M. Alongi's Patreon, with a setting just different enough from the TikTok series for the creator to refer to compare it to the Marvel Cinematic Universe vs the Marvel comics.
Heart of Iron (Previously titled "The Iron Witch") will be released on Tuesday, October 7, 2025.
CaFae Latte contains examples of:
- An Arm and a Leg: Bob takes one of each from Vlad after he tries to poison Cyrus. Apparently this is the typical vampire punishment for attempting to cause someone potentially-fatal bodily harm.
- Badass Boast: JC to their uncle:JC: I've been to jail. I know I can survive it. Do you think you can survive me?
- Badass in Distress: One story arc has Bob, the incredibly powerful fae sorceress, get effectively kidnapped by two unscrupulous witches that tricked her into stepping on a fairy circle hidden under a carpet. Fortunately, one of the cafe's customers stumbled onto the scene and immediately went to warn Bob's friends, who rescued her in short order. Bob later confidently assures the gang that she could have freed herself, but it would be very difficult.
- Been There, Shaped History: Bob was involved in the Underground Railroad and several civil rights and labor rights movements, was a mercenary during the Civil War and both World Wars, worked as a spy during the Cold War, and helped Robin Hood at least once.
- Celibate Hero: Cyrus is asexual while Bob is currently questioning whether she is aromantic. The answer seems to be yes.
- Cerebus Syndrome: While the show originally just consisted of Bob (then unnamed) cursing annoying customers, it shifted to have a slightly larger and more defined cast, an actual mythology, and episodes that were more dramatic in tone and/or focus on the characters' personal lives.
- Knight of Cerebus: While unambigiously a hero, JC's arrival is arguably where the shift began.
- Changeling Tale: Nicole's first episode has her ask Bob about this topic. Bob explains that it went out of fashion centuries ago (largely because of Bob herself, as a later episode reveals), and that the replacements weren't fae, or even alive, just enchanted carvings that would "die" within a week.
- Ben, an autistic teen, was brought to the cafe by his mother under this belief, until Bob set her straight.
- Clothing Switch: One episode has JC spending the night at Nicole's place and going to work the next morning wearing Nicole's jacket. They don't even realize they grabbed the wrong jacket until Bob and Cyrus point it out.
- Cold Iron: Iron burns the fae - merely touching a customer's iron ring burns Bob's hand. Nicole, being part fae, has an iron allergy.
- Cool and Unusual Punishment: When Bob curses someone, she always picks something appropriate for what they did, often with the intention of helping them gain some empathy and understand why what they did was wrong.
- Creator Provincialism: The series is set in Minnesota, where Alongi lives.
- Creator's Show Within a Show: If a character is reading a book in the story, it is often a copy of C.M. Alongi's published works Citadel, The Witch Who Trades With Death or the Blackwing novella omnibus.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Cyrus wipes out the Stone Oak Coven once he breaks free.
- Curse Escape Clause: Bob is fond of these. Most of the curses she casts end after seven years or after the cursed person learns to truly respect the group that they harmed, whichever is sooner.
- Domain Holder: If a fae wants to curse or bless someone they don't know the name of, that someone has to be in that fae's domain when the spell is cast. Bob's domain is the cafe.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: The series, and the location it takes place in, was originally called Fae Latte, not adding the cafe pun until episodes 2 and 3 respectively.note There were also mentions of a third fairy working there until Cyrus was introduced.
- Several clothes that get reused for regular characters are previously used for generic customers. Most notably Nicole's jacket shows up being worn by a very outgoing early customer who couldn't be her.
- Some of the early episodes suggest that supernatural creatures only became public knowledge relatively recently, with a few customers not believing in magic, or that CaFae Latte was only recently founded. It is later established that supernatural creatures became public knowledge in the 1960s, and CaFae Latte was founded around the same time.
- Face–Heel Turn: Erik, attempting to seek immortality to stop his immortal demon family harassing him, has Cyrus kidnapped by the Stone Oak Coven. This ends in Cyrus killing off the entire coven and Erik being fired and sent to jail out of guilt.
- Faerie Court: Bob was a member (a literal fairy princess, in fact) before being exiled for treason.
- The Fair Folk: Bob and Cyrus, obviously, although they're not malicious people.
- Fairy Sexy: Cyrus is very attractive — ironic, given that he's asexual.
- Fantastic Racism:
- Vlad the vampire makes no secret of his contempt for both fae and humans.
- Herla is consistently rude and dismissive to mortals, although not hostile.
- Fantasy Kitchen Sink: While the fae take center stage, vampires, dwarves, goblins, gnomes, dragons, and human witches also feature.
- Fierce Unicorn: Unicorns are known to eat virgins. This is ultimately used to help defeat the unicorn incursion, as Nicole being both a virgin and a witch is especially delicious to unicorns and can be used as the ideal bait.
- Fights Like a Normal: Cyrus, being the fae equivalent of a teenager, doesn't know all that much about magic yet. So when he has to fight, he does so using knives. Very effectively.
- Food Chains: Eating food made by a fae results in no longer hungering for human food and eventually starving to death. This does not, however, apply to beverages, hence the cafe. Eventually they get around the food restriction by hiring the fully human JC as a baker.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: Bob. If anyone's making an Aside Comment or commenting on the fact that this is a web video series, it's always Bob.
- Friendly Rivalry: This characterizes relations between goblins, dwarves, and gnomes. It crosses over into Inter-Service Rivalry for the goblin and dwarf regulars who are both veterans.
- Heel–Face Turn: Lindsey, who feels guilty about kidnapping Bob. She even turns on her sister Nancy after the latter doubles down.
- I Have Many Names: The cafe's owner. Bob is only the most recent of the many nicknames and titles she's received over the years. Others we know of include Lavender Princess, Violet, Purple Sorceress, Earth Traveler, and Iron Witch.
- I Know Your True Name: Cursing (or blessing) someone is far easier if you know their name. Working in a coffee shop, where customers usually give their name when they order, makes learning people's names much easier. They also get names off of credit cards.
- Irony: A show about a coffee shop, written by someone who claims not to like the taste or smell of coffee.
- Klatchian Coffee:
- Adding the blood of an Eldritch Abomination to a coffee results in this. Whoever drinks it won't sleep for 3 days.
- Cyrus decides to mix eldritch blood with Red Bull and brew a pot of dark roast coffee with the mixture instead of water. The result tastes abhorrent, but whoever drinks it can hear colors and stay awake for a whole week.
- Land of Faerie: The Fae Realm is referenced (but not shown). It operates on Year Outside, Hour Inside.
- Long-Lived:
- Bob has been alive for either 1200 or 5000 years, depending on whether you're counting by the standards of the fae or human realm respectively. Either way this trope definitely applies. Cyrus is about 300 (which makes him around 19 by fae standards).
- Werewolves are not immortal, but can live for about 2000 years. Patrick was born in the 1930s.
- Demons can pass down their immortality gene, but half demons only have half a chance. 1/4 demon Erik's lack of immortality is a major cause of friction with his family.
- Apparently one can gain immortality, but not without killing an immortal for either a spell, or to grow a fruit of immortality.
- Loophole Abuse:
- One of Bob's most commonly used curses is a silence spell. It seems that the spell only restricts verbal communication unless Bob alters it to restrict more, which she usually doesn't. Cue a sign language instructor making frequent visits to the cafe in order to give recently cursed people his card. When Bob finds out, she doesn't know whether to be insulted or impressed.
- Cyrus distracts the witch sisters with Exact Words to imply he also wants to attack Bob with them, citing having worked in food service for literal decades now. Eventually Nancy spots it, but not before JC has the drop on her.
- Mugging the Monster: In a very literal sense. Cyrus, Patrick, Toothy, and Kenny get accosted by a mugger. They aren't even slightly intimidated, and the video of their ensuing Curb-Stomp Battle goes viral.
- Mundane Utility:
- Bob is an incredibly powerful fae sorcerer. She mostly uses her powers to curse annoying customers.
- Lindsey uses good luck charms and spells to help the soup kitchen she works at. Her magic has ensured that they have plenty of donations, no one has gotten hurt or dropped anything in the kitchen, and their bathroom has never run out of toilet paper.
- My Friends... and Zoidberg: Cafae Latte offers a "Protectors of the Realm" discount to veterans, first responders, medical professionals, and teachers. Cops, however, are specifically excluded.
- Not That Kind of Mage: On multiple occasions, Bob specifies that she is trained in *war* magic. She is not skilled at healing magic and while she can make effective charms, the Stoughton Street Coven is better at it.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Fae are very reluctant to share their true names. Bob and Cyrus are nicknames.
- Our Angels Are Different: Better known as seraphim, they have no relation to the Abrahamic pantheon (not that it stopped them from manipulating the Abrahamic religions to support their war with the demons). Seraphim can produce very bright light when they are angry or happy and some can learn to turn it into solid objects. They are also very warlike, with their home realm described as having "a world war every other week".
- Our Dragons Are Different: Dragons can take human form. The vast majority of dragons are genderfluid (Rethu's sister Amyth is a rare exception).
- Our Fairies Are Different: Fae look like humans with Pointy Ears. They come from the fae realm, cannot lie, have magic powers, and live for centuries.
- In The Iron Witch, fae are an Amazing Technicolor Population, with Bob having lavender skin with purple marbling and black hair that shines purple, and Cyrus having blue skin with white marbling and dark blue hair.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Vampires do not burst into flames in sunlight (although they do sunburn easily and are generally nocturnal). They can also mind control people, have superhuman strength, and can regrow limbs gradually. They are also not generally evil.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: They can change between human and wolf form at will, except during full moons (during which they will be compelled to turn into wolves) and new moons (during which they will be stuck in human form), and they have about 95% control of themselves in wolf form (which is compared to being tipsy but not fully drunk). They also live for 2000 years.
- Pacifism Breaking Point: Nicole is a Buddhist and pacifist. JC's abusive ex-girlfriend shows up and starts tearing them down. The other cafe staff start defending JC, and Bob is getting ready to curse the woman. Nicole slams the book she is reading into Bob's hands, walks up, introduces herself, and punches the woman in the nose. The woman's nose and Nicole's knuckle are both broken. The woman flees. JC asks Bob to do a binding spell before taking Nicole to the ER.
- Real Men Take It Black: Played with. A male customer who genders the sweeter, more elaborate drinks as girly is cursed to be good at traditionally feminine things and bad traditionally masculine ones. When we see him again, he still finds sweet drinks gross after the attitude change.
- Retired Badass:
- Bob was a general in the fae army before being exiled. She is still entirely capable of kicking ass.
- The Veteran Grandpa acts as a sniper during the unicorn incursion.
- Shared Universe: Implied to exist in the same universe as Hells Belles, and by extension Death and Martha. Bob has apparently made deliveries to the Hellp desk before.
- Stereotype Reaction Gag: Bob once responded to a customer saying "I hear you like shiny things" with "That is a stereotype of fae people! . . . But it is applicable to me."
- Stupid Evil: Vlad trying to mind control Nicole into hurting Cyrus escalated the conflict between him and Bob from "abusive ex trying to bring back their relationship" to "declaration of war", leading to Bob's retaliation. Tellingly, the other vampires in Vlad's clan are completely unsympathetic and chastise Vlad for messing with Bob.
- The Stone Oak Coven gets Off on a Technicality due to their good luck spells, and then instead of just moving somewhere else, proceeds to piss off the exact same faeries again by kidnapping Cyrus. Not checking him for glamored weapons while they had him unconscious gets the entire clan killed.
- Supernaturally Validated Trans Person: JC asks Bob what would happen if a fae tried to curse them using their deadname. Bob confirms that this would not work.
- Token Human: JC is the only human employee at the cafe, although they're actually a contractor (they make and deliver baked goods).
- Averted later once Husniya shows up.
- Tooth Fairy: She shows up in a couple episodes, with the backstory of being exiled from the fae realm for being mute, so she became a children's caretaker who collected their teeth to prevent harmful magic being used on them, and eventually growing into one of the most powerful fae in both realms.
- Uneven Hybrid: Nicole is probably part fae, given that she has an iron allergy. She's mostly human though, as if she were at least half fae the iron would burn her instead of just giving her a rash. JC's friend Erik is also 1/4 demon, and he notes that being less than half demon means he lost out on immortality.
- Unicorns Prefer Virgins: Played with. Unicorns do indeed prefer virgins... to eat. They also use an old-fashioned definition of virginity, such that Nicole, who has had sex with women and nonbinary people but not men, counts as a virgin by unicorn standards. This is ultimately used to help defeat the unicorn incursion, as Nicole being both a virgin and a witch is especially delicious to unicorns and can be used as the ideal bait.
- Unmasqued World: Magic was revealed to the human world in the 1970s, so everybody accepts that this cafe is run by two fae and sells magical drinks. Werewolves, vampires, dwarves, goblins, and gnomes also exist publicly, as do human witches.
