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Web Original / The War Comms

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What originated as a set of Livejournal communities based on the parodying of Shipping wars and other fandom kerfluffles and evolved into a quasi-RP when a few creators...put a bit too much into their sockpuppets. This led to the creation of a third community and then a wiki (which sadly died of spam).

The socks are a group of random fans, based on a wide range of stereotypes and ranging from preteen schoolgirls to thirty-something housewives, all living in a safehouse of epic madness. Whether they're fighting over fandoms, engaging in Ship-to-Ship Combat and character wars or walking in on each other in the showers, there's always some kind of drama to be had. Throughout the comms' run, the socks have formed friendships, romantic relationships, rivalries and reluctant alliances. Oh, and they have a talking cat.


The comms aren't all about the sockpuppets and their adventures, though. Before the comms took on a roleplay-esque premise, people would post whatever caught their fancy and start fake wanks for fun. The comms still do this, just not as much as they used to. Some of the funnier shipping wars have involved SnakesxPlane vs SnakexBadger, Mudkips, various food combinations, and Snape's Wives, Mrs. Sephiroth and Link's Queen having an orgy.


Provides Examples Of:

  • A-Cup Angst: Heather. In a weird inversion, Lucy angsts about losing her A-cups and growing "horrible lumpy things like the grown-up girls".
  • Abhorrent Admirer: William to Chastity, Patrick to Gordon, Rod to Sailor Bimbo. Ashlii was this to Joe before she moved on to Zacharias.
  • Aerith and Bob: Syrius, you have a really strange name compared with most of the other socks.
  • All Issues Are Political Issues: Cassie and Mila are fond of dropping this anvil on pretty much everything.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Poor Syrius. The worst part is, Molly did have feelings for him but never went for it due to her worries that he might not return them.
  • Annoying Younger Sibling: People pity Alyssia when they find out she's related to Patrick.
  • Artificial Limbs: Stella, with both her right arm and leg.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Josie's list of "filthy, horrible fandom trends" goes as follows - incest, rape, paedophilia, violence and broccoli.
    • Milos's idea of marrying "unnatural couples" in Fire Emblem Awakening include making "a bunnyboy marry a dragon chick who liked torturin' him for kicks, a dark sorceress marry th' incarnation'a her fell god, a whiny dope with a stick up his bum marry a chick with rage issues 'cause he gets off on her tellin' him where he can shove his whinin', an' Maribelle marry a man."
  • Asshole Victim: Anytime one of the nastier socks gets hurt or humiliated or screwed over in any way, you can't help cheering. (With the exception of the Alexa-Trisha rape, of course)
  • Attention Whore: A lot of the socks have tendencies but the straightest examples are Esmeralda, Patrick, Trisha and Emily.
  • Berserk Button: Just about all the socks have at least one.
    • Do not bash characters around Alyssia, or even look at James wrong.
    • Do not bash female characters around Hannah.
    • Don't mention Code Geass cosplay in front of Chastity if your names are Morgan and Kristan.
    • Don't threaten someone Ralph cares for if you're within his earshot range.
    • Maxie and Maya are VERY protective of their artworks.
    • Cassie hates it when people compare her to Cori Falls, or even worse, call her "Cori" to make fun of or insult her. Also, don't mock other people's legitimate triggers and issues around her. You will regret it.
    • Don't call Trisha fat or by her full name unless you enjoy having beauty products thrown at you.
    • Want to make stuck-up Bridget lose her cool? Belittle the marriage she so proudly waves around like a status symbol.
    • Do not upset or threaten Jeb in front of Tori, and especially don't invade his personal space if he's told you to stop (we're looking at you, Patrick and Rod!)
    • Do not slutshame Maxie. She's damn proud to be an openly sexual being, thank you very much.
    • Do not misuse the word "trigger" in Nancy's prescence if you value your life. Also, if your name is Trisha and you give Heather a bad time, prepare to be destroyed.
    • Do not accuse Sailor Bimbo of being heterosexual or a fake lesbian. It will not be pretty.
    • Don't do anything wrong towards any of the LeRoy children. Marion with be after you. And if it's Lionel you're after? Pray that Kevin, Margot and/or Noël doesn't join her.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Age-reversed with Ralph, who is rabidly protective of his older sister Janet. Played straight with Joe, who is easily ticked off by anyone who so much as looks at his younger sister Kate the wrong way. Also one who plays this straight is Kevin, who has to be more of a brother figure to his younger siblings, especially his little brother Lionel.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Esmeralda. She plays innocent and claims to be a pure, proper lady, but is capable of saying some very nasty and hurtful things to the other socks. Also Angela, who acts like a weepy and pious nun but is capable of being a malicious victim-blamer with no remorse for hurting anyone who dares to disagree with her.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Rod, all the damn time. Maxie also goes on dates with Rosie Tipps sometimes.
  • Daydream Believer: Lucy, Emily and Patrick, to almost sickening levels. Shannon is more sane example of this, crushing on guys and writing self-insert fanfic but being very mature about the whole thing.
  • Demoted to Extra: If there's a meta post with most of the characters, Christine and Olivia will be left off of the first version. All of Mini's socks can be considered this since the mun stopped showing up at the comms.
  • * Die for Our Ship: In-universe, this is pretty much how Shipwar started
  • Cute Clumsy Girl: Sue and Maxie, though the latter's can mostly be chalked up to her love of stiletto heels...
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Fandom Cat used to go into hissy fits whenever anyone called him Mittens. He's cooled down about this a little, but still hates it. Also, don't call Trisha by her full name or she'll throw a bitch fit. Calling Tori by her full name will also result in a crapload of anger.
  • Draco in Leather Pants: In-universe, Esmeralda has proven to be pathological about this with Ruka Tsuchiya (and bashing Shiori in the process, of course).
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady: Jeb was mistaken for a girl when he first showed up.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: Almost all of the socks hate Esmeralda, but no one was amused when Missy attempted to rape her in-universe.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Sue, Essie and Missy's earlier posts. Sue used to preach about canon before Essie was created, Essie used to preach about feminism before Missy was created, and Missy was slightly more laid back.
    • When Julia first "met" Syrius on the comms, she kept her distance and awkwardly asked him not to bleed on the carpet. Hard to imagine that coming from the girl who's kicked the asses of people twice her size for so much as looking at him the wrong way.
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Morgan, Chastity as an Asian variation, Cassie, Maya, Lily.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Syrius and Trisha.
  • Emo Teen: Syrius, although he's likable. Patrick, not so much. Heather's somewhere between, and Molly sometimes falls into this on a bad day.
  • Entendre Failure: Happens a LOT with Lucy.
  • Even Rod Has Standards: Yes, even the scruffy porn freak who sleeps on sticky sheets and only washes his hair once a week thinks Missy needs to take a shower.
    • Even Rabid Fans Have Standards: Even the Juri-worshiping Shiori detractor Heather does not like Ruka. Or rather, she wanted to before he tried to force himself on Juri. After that...she didn't even care when he died.
  • Expy: Tori, Jeb, Elise and Jiro are all alternate versions of their mun's original characters of the same names.
  • The Faceless: Subverted; Joe's sister Kate, Chastity's boyfriend Anton-Klaus, Mitten's girlfriend Lune and Julia's stalker Howie do make appearances, but they lack journals. Played straight with Beth, Janet and Ralph's other sister.
  • Fan Dumb: In-universe, the very fuel these comms run on.
  • Fanservice: So, SO much.
  • Fiery Redhead: Maxie, Ralph and Tuxedo Skank Man. Subverted by the even-tempered Janet, sweet as pie Stephanie and shy, quiet Molly. Averted by the timid Jiro.
  • Genre Savvy: The saner socks are aware of the consequences of their fannish behaviors and try to use them to their advantage.
  • Girl with Psycho Weapon: Parodied with Sue, Maxie, Julia, Hannah and Becky (fish, dildos, bookshelves, mop and frying pan, respectively). Ralph is a male version with his basketball. Played somewhat straighter with Tori and her gun.
  • Groin Attack: Gordon and Missy have both been on the receiving ends of this. But to be fair, they deserve it. Rod's gotten a few of these as well.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Shannon Blake is not only the only active blonde who isn't a terrible person, but is one of the sweetest girls on the comms.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Gordy and Patrick.
  • Heteronormative Crusader: Maylene, Josie and Angela. Essie might as well be a lite version (she doesn't outwardly condemn homosexuals and transsexuals, but she's a stickler for "traditional values" and loudly decries Maxie's shameless, sexy attitude as "disgusting").
  • Hopeless Suitor: Zacharias is becoming this for Esmeralda, if his strikethroughs and belittling of Tuxedo Wank Man are anything to go by. One might feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a pretentious twat.
  • Hot-Blooded: Ralph is a Cosplay Otaku Boy with a serious case of No Indoor Voice. Stuart is also pretty hotblooded, though he's also rather annoying.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Ralph is over 6'0 tall, so has these dynamics with any female he gets along with - specially his sisters, his best friend Karen and his girlfriend Molly. Joe and Sue are a platonic version of this. Kevin and Margot also have those dynamics, thought the latter is merely only 13.
  • Hype Aversion: In-universe, Bridget instantly loses respect for anyone who likes anything popular... not that anyone wants her respect in the first place.
  • Imageboards: Stuart loves 4chan. So does Ralph, though he's less vocal. Joe's fond of it as well.
  • The Ingenue: Parodied mercilessly with Esmeralda. Elise and Shannon look the part, but are ultimately subversions due to the former's Hidden Depths and the latter reading and writing smut.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: This fits Ralph quite more. Stuart might have the potential for this, as he's not as terrible as other bad socks. Cassie is starting to become one of these as well; though she can be quite the arrogant bitch where fandom is concerned, she's proven to have some degree of caring and concern for the other socks in times of duress (and according to recent comments, she's taken care of some horribly broken friends in the past). Mila and Milos might also count for these reasons, too.
  • Kick the Dog: Oh, so many moments from the nasty socks. Some of the more memorable moments include Gordon and Missy both threatening to rape Syrius and bullying Molly to tears, Patrick faking being raped for attention just after Trisha's very real and traumatic rape by Alexa, Trisha bragging about how she gave Molly and Syrius's info to her friends, and Esmeralda driving Syrius to self-harm twice.
  • Killer Rabbit: Janet's chinchilla. Gordon most likely sees Cassie's rabbits this way... and as it so happens, the original Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is half the reason for his bunny phobia!
  • Knight Templar Parent: Josephine isn't above ripping up Rod's porn or burning Chris's Disney videos to protect her children from their existence.
  • Large Ham: Stuart and Ralph. Put these two in the same room and they'll compete to see who is the loudest of the duo.
    • Even Esmeralda qualifies, if you think of it; her melodramatic, whiny, shrieking behavior and her Purple Prose-like speech patterns are more than good for the trope.
    • Don't forget Sue and Mittens! A hyperactive silly girl on a permanent sugar high and a high-and-mighty talking cat.
  • Lethal Chef: Sue is a variant in that her food is edible, but her in a kitchen equals disaster. Especially if there's fire involved. Tori is a straight example, though.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: Maxie, who shows us that not all porn freaks are depraved sociopathic assholes. Joe and Tuxedo Skank Man also count.
  • Love Makes You Crazy: Crazy and in denial, in the case of Lucy. Ditto for Zacharias, who pretty much snaps when he realizes Esmeralda's love for Tuxedo Wank Man is here to stay.
  • Massive Numbered Siblings: Shannon's the second oldest of nine kids. Luckily, her family manages very well due to some of the older ones holding down part-time jobs and them living in a fairly inexpensive neighborhood.
  • May-September Romance: Kevin/Margot. He's 17, she's a really mature 13 years old.
  • Melodrama: Kristan and Essie are VERY good at this.
  • Meaningful Name: Margot's username and Chastity. The latter was even lampshaded.
  • Moral Event Horizon: In-universe, Angela and Esmeralda's recent driving of Syrius to a breakdown is being treated this way. Gordon and Missy live on the other side of this, and Patrick's come to visit them several times.
  • Multicoloured Hair: Syrius. The black tips are dyed, but the purple is natural.
  • Naïve Everygirl: Molly. Stephanie and Julia have shades of this, and Christine could become this when she gets older.
  • Narm: Many examples in-universe:
    • Esmeralda crying that she can't handle Downer Ending fics because her hamster jumped out the window when she was seven.
    • Any of Cassie's "issue" fics are seen this way by the other socks due to her use of rape and homophobia as dramatic devices.
    • Anytime Patrick tries to get attention for himself by screaming about all the bad things that happen to him...that he either deserves or is lying about.
    • Emily's constant whining about her mean oppressive parents and love for Riku.
  • Nausea Fuel: In-universe, several examples: Missy's stench, Lucy's idiocy, fanfics written by Gordon, Esmeralda and Rod, Patrick's entire mindset and behavior.
  • Not Allowed to Grow Up: None of the socks seem to age. Most notably, Lucy was first introduced in June 2006, and yet after so many years, she's never even turned 14.
  • Not Helping Your Case: This has gotten Trisha and Essie into trouble quite a few times.
  • Official Couple: Ralph/Molly, Kevin/Margot, Tori/Jeb, Sue/Becky. As for Kristan/Morgan, we're just waiting for them to come out and admit it outright.
  • Ojou: Subverted with Lily: she looks and acts the part well, but isn't super rich and lots of her cash comes from her work at the family store.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Missy is the ONLY one allowed to harass Trisha. Got it? Would be considered Hypocritical Heartwarming if not for, well, Missy.
  • Only Sane Man: Tuxedo Skank Man with his siblings, the misogynistic neckbeard Tuxedo Wank Man and their unseen sister.
  • One-Note Cook: Shannon is great at baking, but not the best at other kinds of cooking. Not to Lethal Chef levels, but even with recipes and cookbooks she has trouble getting meat dishes and vegetable sides to come out the right way.
  • Persecution Flip: Monica believes heterosexuality will kill the gay rights movement, and let's not go into Patrick and Rod's psychotic levels of hatred for it. And then, there's Sailor Bimbo...
  • Pet the Dog: Cassie has her better moments, when she's not being a snooty elitist: she treats Syrius (and sometimes, Sue) rather well and is the proud owner of several pet bunnies. A more shocking example is Missy praising Josephine's daughter Catherine after noticing the girl's rebellious streak.
  • Petite Pride: Karen uses her flat chest to her advantage, since she can cosplay guys very easily because of her small boobs.
  • Platonic Life-Partners: Ralph and Karen. When asked if they're a couple, they're grossed out. Molly and Syrius are this as well, in a Kindred Spirits sense. Margot and Noël also happen to be this despite their ages, thought this may be because they were friends since kindergarten.
  • Rape Portrayed as Redemption: Subverted with Trisha; after anonymouse Alexa went way too far in fighting her off, Trisha was quite broken for a while...unfortunately, when she bounced back she decided to hate on all lesbians.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Mark is gonna squee over fluffy romances, worship cute characters, pick flowers and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to discourage him. Chris is a variant of the Real Men Still Love Disney kind.
  • Real Women Don't Wear Dresses: In-universe, Missy acts as though the very existence of pink, lace and women being anything less than 100% badass Action Girls is out to make the women's movement fall down and go boom. Trisha also has a hate-on for characters like Shirley, Orihime, Aeris, Ninian, Priscilla, Natasha, etc.
  • Redheads Are Uncool: Red-haired Molly is considered a dweeby loser among her peers and certain sockpuppets. Stephanie is implied to have this problem, too, when she was younger, as did Janet. Heather is literally carrot-topped and is implied to be something of an outcast among her peers. Finally, this is the reason Trisha bleaches her hair and was beyond traumatized when Maxie and Julia dyed it red as a revenge ploy.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Subverted by Syrius, who quickly turned out to be a gentle boy who's only a danger to himself. Dark Pit can only be this when he's angry at someone.
  • Retcon: Joe was 21 during his first appearances, later his age was changed to 19. Possibly Molly, Julia and Syrius's friendship (they met for the first time on the comms during Molly and Syrius's intro threads, but it was later revealed they went to the same school and were classmates. Though to be fair, it could've been a case of "oh, so you and my classmate are one and the same?! Who knew!") Lastly, Becky was originally Alexi the mun, who would go on hiatus and return years later. When she created Becky as an homage to her younger self, the socks treated Becky as if that had always been her name.
  • Romantic Two-Girl Friendship: Molly and Julia. Kristan and Morgan are also this at the very least, if not a flat-out Official Couple.
  • Rooting for the Empire: In-universe: Kristan and Morgan's obsessive worship of villains certainly cuts it, but Kristan once took it a step further, to the disgust of several.
  • Selective Enforcement: Sort of. The sane socks don't exactly get away with murder, but people come down a lot harder on socks like Rod, Missy, Josie and Gordon than ones like Margot, Ralph, Joe and Christine no matter what the circumstances are.
  • Shared Unusual Trait: Kevin and his mother Marion. While it doesn't symbolize anything special, it's interesting to know that Kevin's eyes is reversed from his mother. They both have one eye blue and the other a shade of amber.
  • Ship Sinking: Possibly deliberately invoked by Missy. The general reaction to her sexual assault of Esmeralda was generally disgust and horror, and since then people have backed off on the jokes about pairing the two. Since Missy flew into a rage anytime someone shipped her with Esmeralda...
  • Not So Different: Gordon and Lucy may have different personalities and temperaments, but when it comes down to it they're both just as delusional and stubborn about their favorite fictional dudes.
  • Single-Issue Wonk:
    • Cassie will go from calm and pleasant to frothing rage if you so much as mention protagonist characters like Aang or Usagi.
    • Don't try to convince Ralph that manga is better than anime.
      • Even worse, just look at his sister, his girlfriend and/or Syrius wrong. He may forgive you in regards to anime and manga, but if you threaten anyone he cares for, things will get BAD.
    • Hannah is somewhat hypocritical when it comes to character defence and bashing; while she's extremely protective of most female characters, she's a hell of a lot harder on male ones, and there's a select few guys that she hates to vicious degrees. She's very aware of her own faults, though.
    • Don't try to tell Heather she's overly invested in her ships and favorite characters. You'll never convince her that Hitomi was within her rights to confess to Kyosuke, or that Tharja's a good person despite her bad parenting.
  • Slap-Slap-Kiss: People love to try to invoke this with bickering pairs such as Missy and Esmeralda or Trisha, Rod and Lucy, Percival and Sandy, Cassie and Martina, and Gordon and Missy. Rod and Sailor Bimbo are a canon variant; he does the kissing (or tries to) and she does the slapping.
  • Small Girl, Big Gun: Petite Julia can lift bookshelves when properly angered.
  • Soap Box Sadie: Cassie, Alyssia to a lesser extent.
  • The Social Darwinist: Gordon thinks only BIG BAD MANLY MEN are worthy and everyone else deserves abuse and punishment for being "weak", though he subverts the trope by being rather pathetic and weak himself. Missy is a female version whose idea of "helping" the softer socks toughen up is bullying them to tears - if they don't kick her in the face first, that is.
  • Squick: In-universe reaction to Patrick asserting that mpreg can/should someday be a reality.
  • "Stop Having Fun" Guys: In-universe: Stuart is the epitome of this. Bridget is a variation on this substituting fandom and character popularity for game techniques, and so is Lily to a lesser extent. Newcomer Zach is this when it comes to following canon.
  • Strawman Has a Point: In-universe, Mila, Cassie and Zach often have valid points buried under their self-righteous entitled elitism, which are usually acknowledged by the sane socks even when they're telling them off for being pretentious douchebags.
  • Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Cassie is this combined with Type A Tsundere. Olivia also has shades of this (she's a no-nonsense elitist type, but she showed her soft side in her intro thread while squeeing over Janet's chinchilla).
  • Supreme Chef: Surprisingly, Ralph is an excellent cook. Specially in regards to pizza, salads and fruit-based drinks. Julia's pretty good in the kitchen, too. Among the fandom characters, Pit shines in cooking... mostly because his ruling goddess cannot cook.
  • Teenage Boys Kick Shins: Mark prefers this method of dealing with bullies and other annoying people.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Gordon tries to be the very image of MANLINESS!!! but tends to fail miserably.
  • Take That!: Pretty much all the "bad" socks are over the top mockeries of the creators' most hated Fan Dumb cliches.
  • Traumatic Haircut: Maxie and Julia teamed up to dye Trisha's hair bright red after she pulled a particularly nasty stunt on Molly and Syrius.
  • Unrequited Tragic Maiden: Molly was briefly one for Syrius before she fell in love with Ralph. Ironically, this places Syrius in the same role, as he had feelings for her but never thought to own up to them until it was too late. Averted with Julia, who's currently implied to have some affection for Syrius but is perfectly content just being his friend.
    • Heather's favorite character types are these, and she's one herself.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Stuart likes to refer to sex as "leveling up".
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Maxie remembers when Gordon was a little angel. Kind of hard to imagine considering what he is these days.
  • Valley Girl: Trisha, which is like, totally ironic considering she prides herself on being like, soooo trendy and totally with the program and all.
  • Violently Protective Girlfriend: Tori for Jeb, Lune for Mittens, Morgan for Kristan. Julia is potentially this for Syrius, and Margot is quick to defend her boyfriend Kevin.
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: Syrius, when he ran off to be sick over the reveal of "Fanon Duo"'s true self.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Rod constantly makes like he's puking over the idea of yaoi. Mittens has done this a lot, too, much to the disgust of others.
  • When You Coming Home, Dad?: Heather, who laments not being allowed to travel with her dad after the divorce. Jeb is also a milder case; Ronald's a great father, but is an accomplished doctor who spends a lot of time away from home.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Gordon and rabbits, Lucy and frogs, Missy and penguins. Nancy, meanwhile, has a more serious phobia; due to past trauma, she can't stand to be inside cars.
  • Windmill Political: Cassie is this when it comes to Fanservice, convinced that a female character in a bikini is tantamount to the industry trying to shut down feminism as a whole. Missy was a heavier version of this before she switched to flat-out misandry and bullying.
  • The Woobie: In-universe: Syrius, Molly, Nancy and Christine. Patrick is a deconstruction of this.
    • Jerkass Woobie: In-universe, a lot of socks felt sorry for Trisha after Alexa raped her, despite wanting to punt her in the head normally.
  • World of Badass: Milos insists every single canon ought to be stuffed with epic fight scenes, giant mecha, draco-mechas, everyone kicking some form of ass every five minutes and crossovers between canons of varying badassery. Also lots of hot chicks and lesbians.


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