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WMG / The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

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The Garbage Pail Kids have neurological problems

Besides their utter insanity, they can't move their facial muscles very well, so their nerves might actually be rotting away.

The film was created by a group of movie critics so they could have a definitive worst movie ever

So many critics had a different movie that was the worst, for reasons ranging from personal hatred, to bad acting, to lack of plot, to boring pacing, to bad subject matter. There was so much infighting, a group got together and decided to make the worst movie ever, with no possible chance for disagreement. They created the worst movie of all time.


The film was created to reflect the horrors of the trading cards it is based on. So the quality was also disgusting. And squicky. Makes sense, right?
  • Yeah, but the cards were also funny.

It was a plot by parents to kill the franchise.
Parent's groups reportedly hated the card franchise and tried to have them banned, so they secretly hijacked the film to make it as bad as possible so kids would lose interest. Sadly, it worked.
  • The guy who did the X-play review said that he tore up all of his cards after watching the movie. So you are right.
  • Well on the YMMV page under What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?, the movie was withdrawn almost as soon as it came because of the concerned parents, so that is definitely a possibility.

The genocide of the ugly was caused by the film itself.
The revolting behavior of the titular characters in the film caused a social backlash against ugly people, leading the government to round them up and go to work exterminating them, which in turn led to a series of events resembling those depicted in the film.

Everything after the sewer scene is Dodger's Dying Dream.
The sewer water was poisoned, and killed him. He dreamed the whole thing. Think about it - it explains EVERYTHING.
  • It doesn't explain the space garbage pail, it doesn't explain the paintings with the moving eyes, it doesn't explain why the Pail is in the store, it doesn't explain why it overflowed with green goo, it doesn't explain why a group of 23 year olds were trying to beat up a 12 year old, it doesn't explain that laugh......

The Garbage Pail Kids are Thyme Lords, and Manzini is a Time Lord
No, that's not a typo. The theory I propose is that the Garbage Pail Kids are actually Thyme Lords! And what are Thyme Lords, you ask? They are like Time Lords, but come from an alternate universe that is made of Squick, evil, and rotting corpses! On the alternate universe's equivalent of Gallifrey, clothes are highly valued, due to all the squickiness constantly making them unwearable. The Garbage Pail Kids were trained to make these clothes from birth, going through the most rigorous training courses, out of which, only the best tailors survived. In the alternate universe, beautiful people are the ones being genocided. The garbage can they arrive in is the alternate universe's equivalent of a TARDIS, the SADISTIS (Squick And Deadly Indigestion Sexy Thyme IN SPACE!). This model doesn't have a chameleon circuit, and is prone to slipping into different dimensions (mostly due to them not yet developing vomit-proofing and piss-proofing technology). Manzini, on the other hand, is a proper Time Lord. He knows what the garbage can truly is, having encountered it once before. The previous time, he opened it out of curiosity, and immediately regretted it. He was forced to leave that planet to come to Earth, and start a new life, away from the reproductive orgies and various other squicky things the prevous batch did. Thusly, he dedicated himself to keeping this one closed until he could destroy it, and, consequently, them. Unfortunately, they escaped. The reason he's smiling at the end when they drive away is because he actually hated this planet because he had to protect it, and now that he doesn't have to protect it anymore, he can find a new one to live on. By the way, after the kids take over through massive reproduction and other squicky activities, they will begin their genocide of beautiful people (in other words, all humans-the State Home for the Ugly, unbeknown to Manzini, is run by a different Time Lord who created it to kill the kids should they ever arrive on the planet, due to his paranoia coming from a previous run-in HE had with such beings). ENJOY YOUR NIGHTMARES! >:D
  • ...How stoned are you right now?

Dr. Forrester requested it.
In a desperate final attempt to finally break down Mike and the Bots, Forrester realized there was no way in hell an adaption of these trading cards would be good so he paid some producers and B-movie actors to shoot and star in it. However, they did their job too well so when Forrester watched it to make sure it was shitty enough to thrust at Mike and the Bots, he finally broke down and gave in to his mother Pearl so that's why she had to constantly stay by his side in the last few episodes and subsequently take over as head villain; Forrester had slowly been going mad from the awful movie until Pearl had to get rid of her insane son.

This movie is related to Uwe Boll.
Specifically, it is connected to Uwe. It wasn't just the fact that is was awful that it's a fake, but they unintentionally created an Eldritch Abomination. However the movie, while sentient and horrific, had humanity and didn't want mankind's minds to snap when seeing it. So it siphoned off excess badness so it was simply a really bad movie. Said excess badness found a human host in Uwe Boll, before directing movies. The reason why he's so bad at directing is because of this.

The State Home for the Ugly had something to do with Instrumentality.
obviously, it was run by SEELE The Home was form to test cloning, as seen with Lincoln and Gandhi. The implied liquidation parade was actually trying to find ways to extract LCL, before settling on using Lilith. The Garbage Pail Kids were the reason why Instrumentality happened in the place, those kids were too damn annoying!
  • Oblivious Evangelion Entry ;).

The film takes place in a lawless totalitarian America.
The only police officers in the film work with the State Home for the Ugly. Nobody bats an eye when Tangerine tries to commit statutory rape, and the adults are, if anything, supportive. There doesn't appear to be a school system of any kind, keeping children like Dodger uneducated (he'd never heard of Pandora's Box, etc). The government, as well as not having any proper schooling, no police department, no laws and citizens with no real morals, is also a government that condones the mass-genocide of people who're displeasing to the eye. The America in which this film takes place is a totalitarian, Nazi-like society that's keeping its people uneducated and trying to bring about a mass-genocide of the ugly.

Manzini is Yoon Tae-goo re-incarnated.

  • I dreamt it.
  • Tae-goo is good with kids (as in, actual kids, not whatever the hell the GPK are) so his re-incarnation would be friendly with Dodger. However, he's a bit shady and he likes to keep secrets. It would be in his nature to claim they have "inner beauty" and yet want to force them into a garbage pail, so what he'd want with them, is as always, a mystery. Since he's "The Weird", his shop must be weird, too. The only way this couldn't be possible is that Tae-goo was killed (in the International cut of The Good, the Bad, the Weird, at least), in 1941 so Captain Manzini would be in his '40s. Even younger according to GBW's international ending where Tae-goo survived.


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