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Lots of the Slytherins are sick of and totally hate Malfoy and his gang.
I mean, seriously, Malfoy is a total jerk. This probably explains why the common room was empty when Harry and Ron interrogate him in disguise!even though they could be hanging around and left when “Mouthboy” entered.

Regulus and the Death Eaters.
Regulus, who like Malfoy turned to the Dark Side and tried to back out when he realized how far he had gone. Now, remember that Regulus actually died at age 18 trying to kill a Horcrux. We saw at one point his bedroom that showed a collage of Death Eater related articles. So maybe he was actually probably keeping tabs on their activities for when he joined them, meaning he wanted to TAKE THEM OUT FROM THE BEGINNING. What could add to this? He was sorted into Slytherin, (a house known for hosting ambitious people) with this as a possible prime ambition. His older brother Sirius hated his family's 'pure blood mania', Chances are Regulus probably did too, but was far more quiet about it and saw taking out the 'anti-muggle' movement's most powerful leaders would end what He and Sirius hated about his family. In short, his ambition was possibly for a good cause. -Joe32

Except Dumbledore, and 4 other characters of your choosing. Now kindly shut the fuck up.

Harry will eventually become a BDSM enthusiast
Ron's tea-leaf prediction in The Prisoner of Azkaban, ("You're going to suffer...but you're going to be happy about it") is meant to foreshadow this. At some point in Harry and Ginny's relationship, Ginny will discover her inner dominatrix and Harry will embrace his submissive side. There's probably fanfic of this already. If're welcome.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are homosexual lovers.
There are plenty of romantic and sexual subtext in Sirius' and Remus' relationship in the books to make it possible. There's Lupin's staunch refusal at first to accept Nymphadora Tonks' affections for him because she possibly couldn't handle him during the full moon (despite being an Auror). It's established in Prisoner of Azkaban that Sirius, James Potter, and Wormtail became animagi to watch over Lupin when he "wolfs out", knowing that he's not a danger to animals in that state; Sirius changes into a large black dog, the animal out of the three who would most easily to calm down the werewolf Lupin. (Dogs are descended from wolves, right?) Tonks is only a metamorphomagus (she can only change aspects of her human appearance to that of another human), her shapeshifting power wouldn't be of much use against a lycanthrope Lupin.
  • Stag/Doe, Wolf/Dog...
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  • Alternatively, they are bi, or at least Lupin.

    • You know what? I'd like to see a fanfic where Hermione encouraged Ginny to see other boys because she's a Yandere who wants Harry for herself. Nice little reversal of the usual Fandom-Specific Plot.
    • You can not tell me such fan fics dont exist in their hundreds. Go forth and search young man!
    • ...What does this have to do with Sirius/Lupuin?

Grindelwald was straight.
They're two of the most powerful wizards of all time, so they were more likely practicing spells together than "practicing spells together". UST could account for Dumbledore and Grindelwald taking opposite sides so vehemently, and really, it's just better to imagine the following dialogue as part of their Final Showdown:
Albus Brian: You said you'd always love me!
Gellert: I didn't know you meant physically!
  • That could be the real reason for the duel that killed poor Ariana. I can imagine that kind of confession, especially in The '30s or whenever it happened would make Gellert flip out and try to fry his BFF in his (Albus') home.
    • Easily! Alternately, Grindelwald had caught on to his friend's affections, but as long as they were in the background, and unspoken, it was just another bond between them, y'know? Except Dumbledore decides to confess love, not just attraction, expecting sympathy, and it freaks Gellert the hell out. Aberforth enters the fray and gets Crucio'd.
  • This WMG makes a fair bit of sense, actually. Many young men "fool around" with each other even though they are straight. It has nothing whatsoever to do with actual final sexuality, but men who end up heterosexual are usually VERY uncomfortable talking about it. They could have had a physical relationship that soured once emotions came in - Gellert figuring he doesn't know anyone in the area, so who was going to know he was physical - then when Albus professed his love, Gellert freaked.
    • Especially as Grindelwald is from fin de siecle Germany, where these type of homosocial relationships between adolescent boys were common.
  • Word of God has "Grindelwald was aware of Dumbledore's feelings, he merely used them to manipulate the other boy and did not reciprocate romantically."
    • So Gellert could have easily been aware of his friend's attraction and used it to keep him loyal to the cause- only it turns out to be love, not just a crush, which Gel is not prepared to deal with. Seriously, someone needs to write a fanfic to this affect.

JK Rowling (or her daughter) is a Beast Boy/Terra shipper
In her updates on the characters she has Luna, a slightly mysterious chick with long blond hair and huge blue eyes marry a guy with a massive interest in animals, the son (grandson?) of Fantastic Creatures author Newt Scarmander.
  • Luna's eyes aren't blue they are grey. In the books they are always described as "silvery grey" because the moon is silvery grey. People used to associate the full moon with madness hence the term "lunatic", hence why JKR named her loony character "Luna". There may be rare occurrences where the moon appears bluish, but nowhere in the books is the color blue mentioned in correlation with Luna's eyes. Yet every fanfic I've read describes them as such. Not all blondes have blue eyes.
    • Oh, her eyes are a slightly different colour? So therefore the entire theory now doesn't make sense?

Harry Potter is a rapechild.
Sort of. Lily Evans did not like James Potter. James Potter was quite obviously an absolute jerk who had a creepy obsession with Lily. For example, he doodled her initials on his exam. James slipped Lily a love potion, married her and concieved a child with her. You'll notice this mirrors Tom Marvolo Riddle's circumstances. However, unlike Tom Riddle Sr, Lily couldn't run away when the potion had worn off and chose to stay, feigning happiness in a loveless marriage because she didn't want to be a single mother. In fact, it's possible that James never stopped giving her the potion. This connects Harry and Voldemort even more, further proving that it is our choices, and not our abilities, that make us who we are.
  • There are two problems with this one: First, Rowling said that Voldemort was incapable of loving because he was conceived with the use of a love potion (which was also lampshaded by Slughorn in the sixth book when he reminded the students that a potion couldn't create real love). Second, it makes Lily look like a stupid, weak little girl who couldn't defend or take care of herself and couldn't let herself be happy, which is totally contrary to everything Rowling has ever told us about Lily.
    • "a stupid, weak little girl who couldn't defend or take care of herself"?! I like the smell of victim-blaming in the morning...
    • JKR said that the fact Voldy came from a loveless union is SYMBOLIC of the fact that he can't love, not a direct consequence.
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    • It's a bit of a jump from "doodled her initials" to "drugged and raped her" don't you think?
      • Well apparently, Harry doesn't think it too much of a stretch. After seeing the memory of James bullying Snape in the Pensieve, he wonders if James forced Lily into marrying him once or twice. I mean, I don't think this theory is all that plausible, but I'm just saying.
      • That's because Harry's an angsty 15-year old who idealizes his parents and doesn't recognize the concept of "the lady doth protest too much." JK Rowling even hinted at this in an interview. "You're a woman. You know what I'm talking about." (Leaky Cauldron interview, I think).
  • an absolute jerk who had a creepy obsession with Lily fits Snape more than it does James, let's be real. Besides, it's said that James eventurally grows out of his behaviour. Snape on the other hand...
  • Definitely Jossed
  • I think the real answer to this WMG is that there's no way James could have drugged Lily for so long without being found out. As stated in the HBP (and above) a love potion doesn't create actual love, only a strong and senseless obsession, which shows. When Romilda Vane unintentionally drugged Ron, Harry knew something was off almost instantly. Lily's friends and teachers (as well as James') would have realized that she wasn't herself and wasn't acting normal.
  • Also I doubt Sirius and Remus would have just stood aside. Peter maybe because... Peter, but both Sirius and Remus were on equal footing with James and definitely would have interfered with him trying to slip Lily some lovepotion. And don't forget how both of them pointed out how JAMES grew up in their last two years in school and how Lily gave him a chance after he did the growing up thing, not before. Someone did change his behaviour, but it was neither aprupt, nor potion-induced, nor Lily.
  • Wait, what if, in an effort to get over her residual feelings for Snape, Lily dosed HERSELF with a love potion to make herself fall completely in love with James!
  • The above point still stands: She would begin acting funny and her close friends would notice.

The House Elves put contraceptives in all the food
You get a bunch of hormonal teenagers in a castle with very little supervision, yet no accidents.
  • Not to mention all the prefects share a private bathroom... that actually makes perfect sense.
    • And that bathroom has a large pool/jacuzzi.../bathtub...
  • Or it could just be another of the many enchantments on the school.
  • I can imagine Madam Pomfrey having a cupboard full of ointments, potions and creams for magical ST Ds.

Snape hates Hermione because...
...Because She reminds him of Lily, with the way that she's smart and so on. However, Lily is dead- and Snape feels as though Hermione is "trying" to take Lily's place. The fact that she's best friends with Harry who looks like James can't help much, nor does the fact she's a muggle-born inexplicably sorted into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw.

He has no idea that Harry and Hermione aren't together that way, from Snape's point of view, James and Lily are happening all over again, a version of James is dragging down a version of Lily. And he can't even say anything about it, it would be horribly inappropriate for him to meddle in student's relationships like that, or show any interest in their relationship at all.

So he just punishes her harshly whenever she has anything to do with him, hoping she will take the hint and stop dating that horrible showoff and bully, James, er, Harry Potter.

Lily Potter nee Evans had someone else's kid, either as a result of rape (Death of the Author, people), an affair that Potter didn't hold against Lily or Harry and may even have encouraged, or because Potter couldn't or didn't want to have biological children. They used a Morphic Resonance spell to make Harry look like James with Lily's eyes as he grew up and lied to almost everyone so he wouldn't have to grow up with the stigmatism of being a legally illegitimate child and, if the first scenario is the case, wouldn't remind Lily and James of the guy that raped Lily. Since Voldemort (through the messed-up killing curse, I both assume and really, really hope that it wasn't through actual genetics) gave Harry more of an inheritance than James, it really doesn't affect the plot much, but it does explain why Lamarck Was Right regarding their hair.

Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin were homosexual lovers.
Canon says that the reason Salazar Slytherin left the school was that the other three founders wanted to take in muggle-borns, whom he mistrusted, and that it ultimately lead to a fight with Godric Gryffindor with the result of Salazar leaving.Maybe Salazar mistrusted muggle-borns, not only because of the muggle world's view on witchcraft, but also because of their view on homosexuality at that point in time. If he and Godric were lovers, and Godric - being more open-minded and trusting towards muggles than Salazar was - decided to take Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw's side in the disagreement, then the fight between Godric and Salazar was more of a lover's quarrel than anything else. Salazar could never forgive his lover for not siding with him and thus left, and Godric himself could never forgive Salazar for leaving, and therefore neither of them ever made an effort to reconciliate with the other. Over time both of them became bitter at the thought of the other, and this made its way down in history, and is the reason why there still is so much animosity between Slytherin and Gryffindor, even though both houses have little or no difficulty getting along with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
  • The only other problem is that both Slytherin and (I think) Gryffindor are mentioned in the books as having descendants... Although I guess they could have been bi.
    • They wouldn't have necessarily had to be bisexual, either. Being married or having children would have been expected at the time, maybe even arranged marriages for them, and they may have seen it as a duty to their family. Even today it's not at all unheard of for people to marry and have children before coming out, because they are attempting to live a 'normal' life and fulfill what they see as familial responsibility, or as an act of self-denial for religious reasons. If they were gay, in that era they would not have come out at all, and would probably have married and reproduced for the same reasons homosexuals sometimes do it today. It's also not necessary that they would have been monogamous with their female partners, even if married they could still have been lovers. The act of sex is possible with people one isn't attracted to, even consensual sex.

[[WMG: Godric Griffindor was a huge Casanova.Slytherin just thought that the safety of wizardkind was a bit more important than a fourthreesome, and Gryffindor didn't.

Snape and Lily had sex sometime before their falling-out.
Think of it this way: While Lily would never have liked being called a "Mudblood", she should have given a little more consideration to the idea that Severus was angry and humiliated when he said it, and that anger and humiliation makes people lose control, and that they'd been friends since they were nine years old; if she never once saw his reaction to public humiliation in six years, then she was not paying attention. With this in mind, she had no excuse not to forgive him, (Please keep in mind, however, that he was wrong for saying it, and that this is not Lily-bashing; it's just something I thought about.) But let's assume that they had sex at some point before this happened. Lily wouldn't have made that decision lightly, and she did love Severus, in a "best friends" way, so losing her virginity with him (and, by that same token, him with her) would have been extremely significant for her. When she told him to fuck off after calling her "Mudblood", she wasn't angry; she was broken-hearted, and it was the final sign that no matter how much she changed for him, he wasn't going to do it for her. Which led her to James Potter, who stopped being a "toerag" long enough to convince her that he just might be worth her time. (Also note that Sirius told Harry, in Book 5, that James and Lily only started dating in their seventh year. If she really had been angry, the best way to get back at Severus would have been to immediately start dating his worst enemy.)
  • Dude, you don't get it. "Mudblood" is the equivalent of "nigger". They didn't need to be bonking for her to break off her friendship with him for that.
    • May I point one more thing out here? Yes, "Mudblood" is the Potterverse equivalent of "nigger", and once again, Severus Snape was wrong for saying it. And yet Lily put up with him calling every other Muggle-born "Mudblood" for who knows how long. She said it herself; page 676 in the US hardback edition. If she was so offended by the word, why didn't she just say, "All right, you're an asshole, good-bye and good riddance" when he refused to stop using it to refer to Muggle-borns in general? Why did she let him do it until it got personal? Either Rowling didn't stop to think about those very Unfortunate Implications, or something else was going on behind the scenes.
    • Maybe she thought she could change him, or thought "well, we're friends, so I'm different in his eyes." Only when she realized that he didn't perceive her differently did she abandon him. We all know women (or men) like that, who refuse to accept that someone obviously not very good could be a bad guy. Usually the only way for them to see is for them to be directly hurt by it.
      • This is close to how I saw it. Lily always wanted to see the best in a person, so she stuck with Snape in an attempt to change his ways. If she wasn't so desperate to see the inherent goodness in him, she would've ditched his bigoted ass years earlier.
  • No excuse? Are you high? How would you feel if I called you spic? Or nigger? Or cracker? Or bitch? And held that view for life that Hispanics/blacks/whites/women are inferior? She was amply justified in walking out on the slimy git.
  • Jossed

One of Harry's kids and one of Draco's kids will end up falling in love.
Two words: Hilarity Ensues. And well, very awkward family dinnners.
  • YES. Actually, it's been floating the internet that it will be Scorpius and Rose that fall in love, as Ron specifically told his daughter to stay away from him (or something like that) in the Epilogue. Do childen listen to their parents...?
    • Another popular theory is that it will be Scorpius and Al, which would spice things up even more.
      • Would you please stop seeing gay subtext where it does not exist?
      • *** Gay subtext? Because there's sooo much more evidence for Scorpius/Rose than Scorpius/Al in the epilogue. The sexualities of Scorpius, Al, and Rose have never been so much as hinted at, so ditch the heteronormativity please.
      • Actually, I'm all in favour for this, because the abbreviation for the ship would be AS/S. Almost makes the Epilogue worth it.
      • Not just would be: IS. Livejournal has had a specific comm for this (the_ass_ship) almost since the book came out.
  • No evidence at all in canon, but for any Dramione (Hermione/Draco) shippers out there who still respect canon, this would be, if not a dream come true, then the next best thing.
    • Just check out the fanfiction search page for ScoRose.

Snape is Harry's real father.
Snape's atributing his protectiveness of Harry to love for Lily is neither a lie nor the whole truth. They had a one-time affair.
  • And how do you explain Harry and James' similar appearance?
    • If everyone is related, the Potters must have intermarried with the Princes at some point. Also, you don't even have to be related to resemble someone.
      • Still, that level of similarity of appearance would be uncanny in two unrelated people.
    • Also, Magic. Maybe he was conceived while Snape was polyjuicing... Or Lily
    • Luck. Harry and James just happen to resemble one another, to Lily's relief.
  • The timelines don't match up. If Harry was born in July 1981, then he was conceived in October 1980 — at which time Lily & James were full-time Order members and Snape was a loyal Death Eater. An affair, one-time or not, is... unlikely.
    • Why not? People have affairs with jerks all the time don't they? And Snape could have just lied to the lot of them. Wasn't that what he was intending to do in the first place, before he actually converted to their side?
      • No. It wasn't. Snape didn't turn over to the Order in any capacity until after Trelawny made her first prediction, which was after Harry's conception. Before that, he was a Death Eater through and through, and would've fought against them. (In fact, he was known to be a Death-Eater-in-training even as a Hogwarts student.)
    • Unless I am mistaken, nobody in the Order knew Snape was a Death Eater at that time.
      • You are mistaken. Snape was a known Death Eater at the time. Dumbledore's attitude to him in "The Prince's Tale" when they meet so Snape can warn him about the Potters being in danger plainly shows that Dumbledore knows he's a Death Eater.
      • Dumbledore knew because Snape confessed to him (and probebly suspected). Sirius Black said he never heard even a hint that Snape was a Death Eater, and he has no reason to lie.
  • Another point (and I can't believe I'm wasting so much time disproving such a frankly stupid WMG): wouldn't the whole Luke, I Am Your Father thing be in "The Prince's Tale"?
  • Sigh, I really just can't believe it. Yet another desperate fan-denial to the fact that Lily chose James over Harry. You Snape fanatics are truly frightening, that you would condemn James for being a bulling jock when Snape turns around and does the exact same thing to innocent shoolchildren fifteen years later. And in your mad zeal to soothe your wounded pride, you unintentionally make Snape come off looking even worse than he did before: If he's Harry's father, then that makes his treatment of him even more disgusting and despicable.
    • This is just speculation, but it might have something to do with how the movie version of Snape was a quite a different character from the book version. In the movies, we never really see Snape bullying Harry or anyone else; he comes across as austere and strict, but never really bullying. We never see him call Lily or anyone else a "mudblood", or talking about the importance of blood purity, or anything of the sort. What we do see is him being bullied by James and the other Marauders for no reason whatsoever. We also see him put himself between Harry, Hermione and Ron and an out-of-control werewolf. For people who have only seen the movies, it can be easy to have more sympathy for Severus than for James. Even for people who have read the books, the movies can heavily influence their perceptions of the characters.
  • Jossed

Draco Malfoy is gay.
I don't know if this is a valid argument since romance is in no way an important part of the plot, but Draco always seemed a bit too uninterested in girls. He would seem to be the type to brag about girls, especially to Harry to rub in his failed almost-relationship with Cho and so on. However, the only girl in his life seems to be Pansy Parkinson, and that's only because he brings her as his date to the Yule ball and she is implied to have crush on him. His feelings for her are otherwise portrayed as less than warm.

He does however, marry Astoria Greengrass eventually, but that could just be because it's expected of him as heir to the Malfoy name. It would be of no surprise if Lucius demanded that of his son, regardless of what Draco himself wanted.

  • Some of the recent blurbs JKR put on Pottermore reveal that Lucius and Narcissa were a bit disappointed in Draco's choice of marriage because the Greengrass family was not part of the "Sacred Twenty-Eight" that comprised the 'purest' of the pure-blood families. If he was trying to please his parents, Astoria wasn't the best choice.

Nagini is Voldemort's wife
He likes snakes and Horcruxes, so why not? Plus he isn't entirely stable after splitting his soul too many times.

(such-and-such a character) died a virgin
One of the more popular forms of WMG about the series these days. Post your own theories and evidence!
  • Lord Voldemort - This one could really go either way. Although once extremely good-looking and popular with the ladies, Rowling has emphasized his complete lack of love for others. While he was an expert charmer, such as with the ancient Hepzibah Smith and the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw, he was never written as having a girlfriend or romantic encounter of any kind. On the other hand, it's quite possible he helped himself to whatever ladies he wanted for hormone-based hate-sex or power-sex, especially as a teen, but there's no evidence he had much interest in this either. Even the "beautiful" Bellatrix Lestrange, who Word of God says was in love with him, could not stir his fancy.
    • Jossed as of The Cursed Child.

  • Albus Dumbledore - He fell in love with Gellert Grindelwald as a late teen, but the extent to which his romantic feelings were returned is unclear. Rowling said that after the disastrous events of that connection played out, Dumbledore was so disgusted by what his feelings had done to him that he became "quite asexual" for his later life.
    • While hetrosexual virginity is usually considered "vaginal", when it comes to gay sexuality "virginity" becomes subjective to whatever the individual person thinks is the line.
    • A case of research failure? Asexuality is a lifestyle as much as hetero or homosexuality is, and isn't something you can change. This doesn't mean he couldn't have resisted the temptation, but still, the way she worded it sounds incorrect.
      • Actually, speaking as an asexual, there is definitely such a thing as a "demisexual". People who self-identify as demisexual are totally asexual, until they develop romantic feelings for somebody (such as Albus did for Gellert), then begin to feel sexual attraction solely towards that one person. When he realised that his feelings for Gellert were tainted by his horror at the things Gellert had done, he no longer felt sexual attraction to anyone.

  • Severus Snape - Loved only Lily, and didn't exactly seem like he'd be popular with a lot of other ladies anyway. It's possible that he hooked up with other women after the blow of James and Lily getting together, especially during his Death Eater days, but it's equally possible he simply never got over her on any level, before or after her death.
    • Possible, but not probable. Snape was socially awkward to the Nth degree from his childhood up through his adult life. Then again, he was a potions master and is implied to know how to brew up a love potion. (It's also implied that it's not on his 'favorite potions' list, which may or may not be connected to his history with Lily.)

  • Antioch Peverell - There is no evidence that he had any descendants. Also, when he possessed the Elder Wand he may have been trying to compensate for something.
    • Sex doesn't always lead to babies....
      • I know, but he was the only possible virgin I could think of on the top of my head.

  • Harry Potter - He loses his virginity after he returns to life. (This is a stretch, I know.)

  • Colin Creevey - Only sixteen when he died, he was never shown to have a girlfriend (or any interest in girls at all, see the WMG far below).

  • Vincent Crabbe - I mean, really, who would have sex with that. note 

  • Barty Crouch, Jr. - He was very young when he went to Azkaban, and when he got out, he spent all of his time caring for Voldemort and impersonating Mad-Eye Moody.

  • Rufus Scrimgeour - Never mentioned as having been married, although that likely doesn't count for much. But he was also an essential lifer in a profession at a time where being involved with someone had a good chance of getting that said person blown up.
    • Similar for Mad-Eye Moody. Not probable, but not impossible, either.

  • Lavender Brown - confirmed to die in Deathly Hallows by Word of God despite the book's narrative is a bit vague about this. It's unlikely that she never did it with Ron in Half-blood Prince and it's even more unlikely that she had a time for this in Deathly Hallows, even if she got another boyfriend, considering that Hogwarts was under the tyranny of Carrow siblings at this time. Of course, she might have time when she's hiding in Room of Requirement but there's a big risk of Primal Scene since there are a lot of other students there, not to mention underage students.

(such-and-such a character) did not die a virgin

Related to the above; these characters are most likely to have had sex before they died. Do not include the characters who were explicitly not virgins when they died (Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, James and Lily Potter) or characters who did not die within the series (The Golden Trio, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, etc.) Also, spoiler alert.

  • Fred Weasley - He and his brother were very flirtatious, seen going out with girls frequently during his school years, and had graduated and was presumably living by himself.
    • Well, himself and his brother shared a flat. Although one does have to wonder whether one twin or the other's relationship with their pretty young assistant (Verity was her name, I think?) was all business. Then, there was that time at Bill's wedding where he and George 'disappeared into the darkness' with two of Fleur's veela cousins...

  • Sirius Black - Popular with the ladies during his school years, I personally doubt that he was still a virgin at graduation. Then, in the years between his best friend's marriage and subsequent death, he could have had any number of women (although nothing is ever said on the subject). Finally, after leaving Azkaban, he was known for being reckless; he may have taken the chance to have a couple one-night-stands with women who didn't seem to recognize him.
    • Remember that in Britain, the legal age is 16, so Sirius not being a virgin by Graduation really isn't a big deal.
      • You can go one further with this... the muggle legal age of consent is 16. Wizarding Britain doesn't always follow Muggle Britain's rules (wizarding adulthood starts at 17, for example, as opposed to 18 for Muggles - to say nothing of the entire monetary system), so there's no telling what wizarding Britain's legal age is, or even if the Ministry enforces something like that.

  • Bellatrix Lestrange - This one should go without saying. Not only is she very beautiful (despite what Azkaban did to her), but she's also married; it's unheard of that she never slept with her husband.
    • Ehh...that actually wouldn't have been a stretch for Bellatrix, given her obsession over Voldemort. It's mentioned that she has no children (ironically, in the corresponding film of the book where she says this, her actress is pregnant). Of course, this could still be correct, perhaps with her having taken the Lie-back-and-think-of-Voldem- er... England approach to sex with Rodolphus.
      • Unheard of? She didn't even like Rodolphus, she only married him because she was supposed to marry a Pureblood. I doubt Bellatrix would have let any man touch her without her consent.

  • Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew - Possibly. He may have been able to get some popularity with the girls while at Hogwarts just by association with the Marauders, and in that case, gotten some. He also was known to go out and converse with girls while he was supposed to be caring for Voldemort. And, honestly, stranger things have happened.
    • Or, he just found time to brew up or procure some love potion on the side.
    • Squicky thought, but Sirius did say that his own thoughts became simpler — more dog-like — when he was in his dog form. Pettigrew stayed in his rat form for thirteen years without a break, so it's possible that he lost sight of his humanity for long stretches and wound up socializing with regular rats. Given rats' status as an Explosive Breeder species, that would've included lots and lots of mating opportunities...
    • And then there's the question of Bertha Jorkins and where in the hell Voldemort got that fetus body. brrr.....

  • Lavender Brown - debate on whether she died in the book and the film aside, she was pretty and very clingy and physical with her love interest(s). There's a bit of a feel of Did They or Didn't They? throughout Book 6 with Ron, and it's never stated that they didn't. And if not with Ron, then maybe with someone else.

  • Amelia Bones - She's unmarried and seems to be a very McGonagall-like careerist in the Ministry. Also, the fact that her niece, Susan, was given her middle name while Amelia was still alive could indicate that Amelia, for one reason or another, was unable to have children.

Harry was born out of wedlock.
Lily became pregnant while she and James were dating. She decided to marry him so she wouldn't have to be a single mother.
  • Or, alternately, they were going to wait a while, but James decided to get married to do right by her after he found out she was pregnant.
  • Yet another insane attempt to delegitimize an established shipping due to character bashing.
    • This is realistically plausible, and one of many possibilities that could have happened. Not every marriage, even ones that do ultimately end up very much in love, started with perfect twoo wuv and absolutely no ulterior motives or complicating factors.

Colin Creevey was gay and had a crush on Harry Potter
His behavior was constantly being compared to Ginny's in the second book, and we all know how she turned out: that she did have a crush on Harry and kept it going through all the guys she dated over the years, until she finally got together with him. He is also one of the few prominent Gryffindor characters who we never see dating anybody. Plus, Colin was Muggle-born, so it's not like he grew up hearing Harry Potter's name the way Ron and his other classmates did. Why else would he be so obsessed with him?
  • This would also imply the second example of Bury Your Gays in the book.

Ginny was Harry's logical match because she represented a combination of the best qualities of both of Harry's parents.

This isn't quite going into Oedipus Complex territory, but it's obvious throughout the series that Harry held his parents in very high regard. Knowing Rowling, this may or may not have been intentional, but Ginny exhibits a lot of the traits that either one or both of Harry's parents had during their time at school. Like Lily, she's an attractive redhead and a skilled witch with courage and natural leadership abilities. She also happens to be the youngest sister in the family. Like James, she shows above average talent with her spellcasting as well as with Quidditch. In fact, she played both Chaser and Seeker at different points in her Quidditch career at Hogwarts just like James did. (James is mentioned as being a Chaser in the books, but is also seen showing off his reflexes with a snitch in a flashback, which might imply that he, like Ginny, played Chaser on a team with a very skilled Seeker, but switched to Seeker when said teammate either left school or was injured.) James was also a natural leader, even of the Marauders in his early school days, and he became Head Boy in his seventh year as well.

  • You did not just say that James Potter was a Chaser. He was the SEEKER. HOW many times did the books say that Harry was a Seeker just like his father?
    • Um... never? The books just establish that James played Quidditch, it's never stated what position he had on the team — the first movie says he was a Seeker, but the movies aren't canon to the books — and according to JKR, James was a Chaser, not a Seeker. What muddles the issue a little is in the "Snapes Worst Memory" chapter, where James is seen playing with a Golden Snitch... but then, there's nothing to say that he couldn't have had talents as a Seeker as well, or maybe, like the above Troper theorized, substituted as the team's Seeker when the real Seeker was injured — much like Ginny does for Harry in HBP.

Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley DO become a couple and eventually marry.
  • Where else could this go, when Ron opens his mouth and specifically tells Rose (albeit in a tongue-in-cheek manner) not to get too friendly with Scorpius and that Grandad (Arthur) Weasley would never forgive her if she married a pureblood? Hilarious in Hindsight waiting to happen. Also, it would (possibly) bring a degree of closure to the Weasley/Malfoy feud, after the two families haven't liked each other for a couple of generations.
    • Or they got disowned, just like previous generations of Purebloods that married the wrong people.
      • By Lucius and Narcissa, perhaps, but that's about it. And even that's sketchy. They care much more about their own 'blood' than the pureblood movement. The Weasleys obviously don't care much at all (that's one of the reasons the other pure-blood families don't like them), and Word of God says Draco steered his son away from the old family ways, which he probably couldn't have credibly done if he had held as tightly to those beliefs as his father had once done. Although on a personal level, TT could certainly buy Arthur and/or Ron holding a grudge against the Malfoys for a very long time.

Dumbledore was asexual.
Related to the "virginity post". JKR stated that, later in life, Dumbledore was "quite asexual," and a Troper correctly pointed out that asexuality is not a behavior, but an identity. None of this means that Dumbledore never had sex, however. Many asexuals do, in order to please their partner or because sexual drive and sexual desire are separate things. What JKR meant was that Dumbledore and Grindelwald had a sexual relationship, but afterwards, Dumbledore was too frightened to enter any other romantic relationships, so he became what some call a "true" asexual, who is both asexual and celibate.

Harry and Hermione boned each other during the first (?) Deathly Hallows movie.
Come one now, its so obvious! When Ron says to Hermione "did you know Harry talks in his sleep?" Hermione, obviously flustered by the insuation she slept with H Arry, is way too quick and force ful to answer "no!!" before more meekly asking how would she know this, quite clearly embarassed about how she initially answered the question.

They had to do something to pass the time when alone in that tardis of a tent afterall, and dancing can only go on for so long...

  • But Harry yelled "Ginny" and Hermione screamed for Ron at the same time afterwords the agreed not to speak of it again.
    • Kinky roleplay.....
Harry Potter got Malfoy pregnant
In the first year no less. Then Hermione go Malfoy pregnant.

Cho Chang shut herself off from the magical world after the war.
  • For as much as the book series focuses on magical-muggle 'relations' and blood status, it's notable that Cho (who's a sorta-important character, but not really) is the only one explicitly mentioned as having married a Muggle. Maybe she got tired of the bad luck she seemed to have with her relationships with wizards. Maybe Michael Corner (her last known boyfriend) died during the Battle of Hogwarts (he's unimportant enough so that he could have been easily lumped in with the 'fifty' that fell that day). In any case, it seems strange that Word of God treats her fate so unambiguously when slightly more central peripheral characters - Dean, Seamus, and Parvati for example - aren't mentioned at all except that they apparently survived.

Tom Riddle had a threesome with Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop in the cave.
It's possible that he compelled them to do it with love potion residue left over from his birth.
  • No.

But as time went on and she began dating other guys, she genuinely fell for him.
  • This may be canon. Check out this comment by J.K. Rowling:
    "But, I felt — and I'm talking years ago when all this was planned — initially, she's terrified by his image. I mean, he's a bit of a rock god to her when she sees him first, at 10 or 11, and he's this famous boy."

McGonagall had an (obviously unrequited) crush on Dumbledore.
  • She's often seen giving him compliments and is very devoted to him, but also gets irritated with his some of his quirks and antics, a bit like a wife. She's also fiercely - sometimes violently - protective of him, even though she probably knows full well that he can handily beat anyone who tries to fight him. She's likely closer to him than anyone, as Word of God says that each, at least initially, is the only one that knows the other's past - and McGonagall actually has quite the tragic backstory. In that backstory, she's also had a romance with a much older man. And, for what it's worth, the two are dance partners at the Yule Ball, at least in the films.

Snape had several drunken make-out sessions with Professor Grubbly-Plank.

Percy rescued Audrey from the Muggle-Born Registration Commission.
  • Not much to add to this, really... she just seems to come from out of absolutely nowhere and I thought she deserved at least a theory on how she got there.

The Weasleys have a tradition of relationships between a Chubby Chaser and a Big Beautiful Woman.
This isn't so obvious in the films but in the books, Mrs Weasley seems to be a very large but good-looking woman and Mr Weasley a very happy man very much in love with her. So it is a fair assumption to make that Ginny would have inherited her mother's proclivity toward extreme plumpness, while Bill and Ron would have inherited their father's love of big women, leaving Fleur and Hermione to be encouraged to get equally fat.
  • But was Molly really predisposed to being plump, though? Keep in mind, she had 7 children in 11 years - the last four in four years, including a set of twins.

On top of his Fantastic Racism, Voldemort was also a male chauvinist.
Especially given that he resented his mother for not being strong enough to live for him, it wouldn't be a stretch if Voldemort believed in the inherent superiority of males. In fact, he may have thought the specific role of the women connected with Death Eaters was to produce sons for the movement. It's notable that a large number of the men that made up the first generation of Death Eaters married - presumably women that share their pureblood supremacist beliefs on some level - and had children. But none of the women, including Narcissa, who certainly believe in pureblood supremacy, took the Dark Mark save for Bellatrix and Alecto Carrow.

Parvati had a short-lived crush on Harry.
Her irritation with Harry at not dancing with her for the Yule Ball - which carried into the next book, by the way - might have been because she had been hoping on some level that their date would lead to something, whereas Harry was romantically interested in Cho and simply wanted a decent-looking date to the ball.

The founders of Hogwarts were in relationships with each other.
It's stated that Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin (men) were friends, and Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw were friends (women). What if Godric and Helga were romantically involved, as were Salazar and Rowena? In fact, what their houses represent adds some weight to this: Hufflepuff and Gryffindor have similar traits (loyalty, bravery, etc.) and Ravenclaw is extremely similar to Slytherin (it takes an extremely ambitious student to study hard, especially when doing something wrong could cause the castle to explode).

Lily was just as nosy as her sister
Gossip was a pastime for both

Morfin Gaunt was Voldemort's true father.
Facts that support this hypothesis:
  • The Gaunts had an obsession with blood purity and were already inbred.
  • Morfin was deranged and violent, which makes it more possible that he raped Merope in addition to otherwise abusing her.
  • Morfin could hate Tom Riddle because of jealousy.
  • Merope may have seduced Tom Riddle in order to disguise Tom Jr.'s parentage.
  • Voldemort's snake-like appearance may be the result of the inbreeding. It was concealed by the spell that was Merope's dying wish, and then started to slip when he tore his soul apart.
If this is true, it would imply the following:
  • Voldemort is the product of an even more loveless union than he knew.
  • He is the heir of Slytherin through the male line and also in spirit.
  • He is a pureblood after all, of which, in a feat of Dramatic Irony, he is not aware, considering himself to be a Boomerang Bigot.

Snape died a virgin.
After Lily rejected him, Snape never got involved with anyone else and thus he died a virgin, and he deserved it, because someone like him shouldn't experience such a wonderful feeling with another soul.

Bellatrix was sterile, maybe as the result of Black inbreeding.
  • Her comment to Narcissa about the latter's worries about Draco in Book Six can come off as, "You should be thankful you even have children that you can potentially watch die for Voldemort's cause." There are two named female Death Eaters (that is, those that have taken the Dark Mark and not simply sympathizers) in the entire series - Alecto and Bellatrix. Now, given what we know of Voldemort's feelings (or lack thereof) for his mother, it wouldn't be such a stretch to think that Voldemort would regard women as weak and that their only purpose - or at least their best purpose - would be to couple with his Death Eater men and bring forth strong sons. Or, at the very least, that he wasn't keen on the potential of losing the women in the ranks to pregnancy. But if you gave him a woman that couldn't or wouldn't get pregnant and she was capable and willing, then there wasn't a problem.
  • OP here. Just making note of the fact that this WMG didn't age well.

As a schoolgirl, Umbridge had a crush on Voldemort.
While her exact age is never given, it's possible that she visited school around Voldemort's time. If that's so, being an ambitious Slytherin, she may have at least wished to join Voldemort's circle. Tom was quite handsome and charming during his school years, and it's easy to imagine Umbridge having such an infatuation which would strongly influence her worldview and career.

Voldemort intended to let Lily live, to give to Snape.
Yes, he says that he talked with Snape, and Snape agreed that they were better women — but he also said that the conversation was after she had died. During the actual killing, Voldemort tells her to stand aside. This, from a man who killed a woman and her children because the woman could not tell him where Gregorvitch was, and who seriously considered killing a child in a Halloween costume for noticing him.

Perhaps he was using the "pure blood" rhetoric for his followers and didn't really believe it himself. Perhaps he contemptuously thought that Snape was reverting to the Muggle side of his family and wanted to throw him a bone to keep him useful. Perhaps he hoped that Snape would find the reality educational, so he would seek a better bride.

Mind you, it's very likely he deluded himself into thinking he hadn't intended to, after, even by the point where he talked to Snape.

  • Voldemort didn't need to delude himself into thinking anything. He only cared about Snape as a useful servant and just intended to Throw the Dog a Bone, not teach him lessons. Whatever pep talk he had with Snape afterward and his resurrection, he only needed to know if Snape had moved on and didn't regret Lily's death and thus was a loyal Death Eater. Also, it's unlikely that he ever spared a thought for Lily aside from her being Snape's prize.
  • He didn't need to care about Snape to delude himself. All he needed was to care that his plan had fallen through.

The muggle Cho married was Dudley.
I believe this partly because Dudley's Character Development makes it likely that he became more open to magic, partly because Jo considered having him turn out to have a magical kid (though she decided against it) and partly because it would be hilarious to see Harry find out that his ex-girlfriend married his idiot cousin.

Lockhart's smile was literally charming.
Lockhart cast a spell so that any female with even the barest interest in men would be infatuated with him when he smiled. Which means among all his other false plaudits, he didn't even really deserve the award for "Most Charming Smile" unless you go for a literal definition of "charming". Even while institutionalized and revealed as a fraud, the nurses seem fond of him.

The House of Black never associated with the House of Gaunt (at least not publicly).
It is notable that despite Sirius' claim that all the pure-blood families are related in some way, the House of Gaunt is never once mentioned on the Black Family Tree (or at least not noticed or spoken aloud). It's possible that Everyone Has Standards is at play with the Black family; even though the Blacks and Gaunts are pure-blood supremacist families, it makes sense that the aristocratic House of Black wouldn't want to be associated with the poverty-stricken, violent, inbred cesspool that is the House of Gaunt.

Salazar Slytherin's blood purity ideology is also why Voldemort is his last surviving descendant.
Considering he lived a thousand years ago, it wouldn't make much sense otherwise for him to only have one existing relative instead of thousands or even millions. His children made sure only to breed with pure-bloods, and over time what qualified as "proper Slytherin material" shrank. It eventually led to the Gaunt family being the only family left with Salazar's blood, which due to its inbreeding habit and general deterioration would leave Tom Riddle Jr/Voldemort the only man on the planet left in the Slytherin family.

The bit of Voldemort's soul inside Harry sought revenge on Voldemort's master soul.
It/he caused Harry to experience dreams which were sometimes foreshadowing, as well as caused him pain which alerted Harry to Voldemort's presence or intense emotion felt by him. Harry also "just knew" many things that helped him in his fights with Voldemort, including to destroy the diary Horcrux by stabbing it with a basilisk fang. It could be surmised that the bit of soul was angry at his master for botching his incluaion into a proper Horcrux or resented him for being weak and foolish enough to be felled by his own curse.

The houses of Gryffindor and Slytherin are cursed.

Godrick and Salazar were friends before having a falling out, yes? This is the reason for the rivalry between the two houses. Salazar – a man who seems to be fairly set in his ways and would likely demand the same of all of his students – placed a curse on both houses, that no Slytherin and Gryffindor can ever maintain a positive relationship. This curse was infused into Salazar's bloodline, and the rivalry lingered so long as that bloodline existed. This might explain why no teacher at Hogwarts seems keen on ending the rivalry and in some cases it would seem that they even encourage the hostility (James and co.'s very public bullying of Snape seems to go entirely unpunished, the Quitich teams are pit against each other almost constantly, and no other teacher raises an eyebrow at Snape unfair treatment of Gryffindors) because there is nothing to be done about it until the curse is lifted.

The curse fills the students of both houses with instant, almost instinctual loathing toward each other. This feeling likely lingers as a learned behavior for the rest of the students lives, or at least it did, as not-yet-sorted students like James, Sirius, Draco and even Ron each already had preset house-based prejudices that were most likely learned from their parents. If the students happened to have a positive relationship before their sorting, as in the case of Lily and Severus, the curse would cause turmoil to their friendship for possibly years until it finally ended on a bitter, unhappy note, punishing the students who tried to forge what Salazar probably considered an unnatural connection.

Slytherin House after Voldemort's demise is said to have gotten better, though still not an entirely desirable House. This can be less about the curse and more in reference to the lingering prejudices from the curse, considering the context in which is it brought up – a fair bit more playful than the borderline fanatical allegiance demonstrated by the characters-in-questions grandfather. This seems to cement that the curse is lifted, presumably alongside Voldemort, the last remaining heir of Slytherin.

This troper is not counting Cursed Child as canon, as it was not written by JK Rowling.

Harry Potter is a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

How else could he still have Parseltongue abilities after the Horcrux is gone. It is because he is unknowingly a descendant of Salazar Slytherin and James never developed it because he either did not know himelf or because of the unfair stigma attached to it.


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