Think about it: why else would a grown man with a successful career live in his friends basement for eight years? Jesse living there for so long makes a kind of sense: the girls are his only living link to a beloved sister and later on his wife provides them with a badly needed female authority figure. But Joey? What does Joey bring to the table? He initially moved in because the suddenly widowed Danny needed help raising three young girls on his own and offered the then-struggling comedian free lodging in exchange for around-the-clock babysitting. Sure, that makes enough sense for a sitcom. But after awhile, DJ and Steph are old enough that they dont need a babysitter anymore and are often seen looking after Michelle, Nicky and Alex. They dont need Joey as a source of day-to-day emotional support, either. They are well adjusted young women and turn to Aunt Becky for advice way more than any of the guys. So why does Joey insist on staying with the Tanners? And why does Danny allow it? Its because both men know the unspoken truth: that Danny is infertile and that those very blonde Greek girls are either the product of a three-time sperm donation or a decades-long extramarital affair.
- Come to think of it, Nicky and Alex are mighty blonde, too. And Jesse was on the road an awful lot around the time of their conception...
- Wow. Joey gets around..
- Or maybe they all just got blonde hair because of their mother, who is also a blonde.
- Maybe Nick wasn't Pam's biological father.
- Pam was also 100% Greek; hair-dye ain't hereditary.
- Jesse and Pam weren't 100% Greek; their mother's side is of Italian descent (Episode "It's Not My Job"). Blond hair is not uncommon in Italy, especially in the North.
- Becky's mother Nedra, Danny's sister Wendy and his mother Claire are blondes. Maybe the girls and the twins inherited their hair color from the non-greek parts of their families.
- Joey stayed around because he was and is part of the "family".
In the first season, Uncle Jesse's last name is Cochran. In the rest of the series it's Katsopolis. This could be a subtle reference to The Beatles where Ringo Starr's real name was Richard Starky or other bands whose members had stage names. Danny even mentions in the first season Jesse's band is Jesse Cochran and the Rippers, while the rest of the series has it as Jesse and the Rippers.
- Perhaps Jesse thought he wouldn't be marketable as a musician with an "ethnic" sounding last name so he started going by the more waspy sounding Cochran. Between the first and second seasons, he realized that he didn't want to hide who he was and went by his real last name again. This plot didn't appear in the show because young kids wouldn't understand it.
- In one episode where Steph has the chicken pox, she pretends to be one of Steph's classmate. This suggests that not only her nieces know his stage name, but apparently so did his nieces' friends.
- It's doubtful any of his nieces' friends (except maybe Kimmy) would know that, but Steph pretending to be her friend "Carol" knowing that would be a dead giveaway.
- It's possible Cochran is his mom's maiden name and he was using that as well.
- Knowing Jesse's love of rock and roll, perhaps "Cochran" was a tribute to Eddie Cochran.
While they celebrate Christmas every year, it is possible Danny is non practicing. No mention of faith is mentioned throughout the series, but Danny uses idioms from time to time. Bob Saget is Jewish in real life, as is the actress who plays Danny's mom. In one of the early Christmas episodes he wishes viewers on his show a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah. Jesse's mom seems Ambiguously Jewish as well, and she uses several Jewish idioms in her appearances.
- Jewish idioms have become part of the mainstream vocabulary, especially by 1987.
- This contradicts the episodes that show Michelle in school.
- And Michelle was born before Pam died.
- Good lord, Urkel became a hedgehog
- One problem: The Comic and TV show Sabrinas are two different Sabrinas. They don't run on the same continuity.
All credit for this theory goes to blogger Billy Superstar and the amazing comment team at Full House Reviewed: Bridget, Lupinthe8th, Sarah Portland, teebore, and others. Check them out: https://therealfullhousereviewed.wordpress.com/
Once, long before the show began, evil entities reigned over the planet. These creatures, like those in the Lovecraft mythos, feasted on the sanity of mortals. As civilization expanded, these entities deliberately put themselves into Shapeshifter Mode Lock, disguising themselves as locations around the world to help themselves to human minds. However, some individuals gifted with Psychic Powers were able to resist the evil of the creatures, fought against them, and trained others to do the same. The result was a war that is still waged today.
Fast forward to the early 1980s. A young man named Danny Tanner has just married a woman named Pam Cochran who is secretly one of the warriors who fight the dark entities from beyond our world. She's discovered one hiding out as a comfortable home in San Francisco, and they move there. She fights the Full House on a daily basis, weakening its power, and begins training her two daughters to resist it as well. Pam pairs her eldest, Donna Jo, with a young girl named Kimmy Gibbler, whose inherent coolness, sense of self, and overall weirdness are a natural deterrent to the Full House's evil. She can't find a similar friend for her daughter Stephanie, so she instead encourages her to pursue dance and other hobbies, always urging her to find a name for herself and fight back against conformity. Finally, she gives birth to a third daughter, Michelle, and is thrilled—three children of the same sex is magically powerful. But the Full House, fearing what this third child might do to it, decides to fight back by eliminating Pam once and for all. It uses its weakened abilities to kill Pam in a car accident, and then sets about on a plan to corrupt those within its walls.
Danny calls his brother-in-law, Jesse Cochran, to help raise his children; the Full House makes its first move by compelling him to summon Joey Gladstone, an old friend, as well, though there's no reason to do so. As time passes, the House slowly starts feeding on the minds of those within it, gradually warping their personalities. Jesse abruptly declares that his "real" name is Katsopolis (the House is trying to weaken the Cochran family's psychic bloodline); Danny becomes more and more of a clean freak, and even begins to "remember" his mother teaching him this; Rebecca Donaldson, a sane, intelligent woman, is brought into the fold and slowly transforms into a wacky Cloudcuckoolander like the other adults in the Full House. This explains all the Flanderization that happens throughout the show—the House is destroying the adults' minds like clockwork. But the House isn't happy, because D.J. and Stephanie are carrying on their mother's mission (albeit unknowingly) and thus still serving as a Restraining Bolt on its abilities. The Full House needs help. It needs a human to form an unholy alliance with.
It finds Michelle.
It's not clear how the House reached out (an "invisible friend," a dream, etc.), but regardless, it somehow offered Michelle a deal: if she'll do her part to keep the adults together in its walls, she'll get anything she wants whenever she wants it. As time passes, Michelle is corrupted by this power, using it to force the family to obey her on the pretext of "love" (all those hugs you see throughout the show? That's the House spreading its infection). Who's the one who forces Jesse, Becky, and eventually their twins to stay in the house despite them having enough capital to live their own lives within the same neighborhood? That's right, Michelle. By the end of the last season, the entire family must bow to her whims and do whatever she says. Early on, they try to resist (see "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor"), as D.J. and Stephanie are slowly awakening to their true purpose as psychic warriors (with help from Kimmie Gibbler and Gia, another young woman whose anti-establishment behavior grants her mental immunity to the House's Reality Warper gifts), but without their mother's guidance, the girls aren't able to fully fight back.
The final confrontation of this pitched battle comes at the end of Season Seven: D.J. and Stephanie are able to combine their nascent powers to bring back the man who originally owned the Full House and compel him to purchase it again. As the House has already pair-bonded with Michelle, this would severely weaken its grip in our world and possibly even kill it. So it resists by granting Michelle even greater power, and she's able to convince everyone (via a tearful speech) that the House is their home and they can't leave. This works (note that in the episode, it's only the adults, not D.J. and Stephanie, who are shown to decide Michelle is right), and thus binds the family to the Full House...forever.
Now, with Fuller House produced, we're seeing what happens next...
- So that's why Joey's never gotten a steady girl? I thought it was because he was a man child goofball.
- Jesse would have been a kid when Danny and Pam started dating. They got married when they were eighteen and Jesse is five years younger than them. I hope Danny and Jesse weren't lovers then!