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Video Game / Toss the Turtle

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Toss The Turtle is a 2009 online game that is almost Exactly What It Says on the Tin. You shoot a turtle out of a cannon and pepper him with bullets in the hope of getting major distance. Along the way, you can grab cash for upgrades at the shop and ammo for the gun to continue shooting the poor turtle.

Also, the land is littered with spikes, Goombas, bombs, gangster hounds, angry suns, flame dudes, small and big birds, street fighting bananas, cars, UFOs, chainsaw-wielding maniacs, and angry ground creatures. That pretty much makes it a Weird and Hilarious American Thing.

You can find it on Newgrounds here or on its official website. The artist, Gonzo, has also gone on to create art for another game, Goin' Up.

A sequel, Super Toss the Turtle, was released December 22nd for iOS and Google Play. It includes the same action packed game play, while adding new cannons, guns, power ups, and characters.


Toss the Tropes:

  • Amusing Injuries: All the injuries inflicted on the poor turtle.
  • Bling-Bling-BANG!: The Golden Gun, probably the best out of all your weapons.
  • Bloody Hilarious
  • Catchphrase: SHORYUKEN!
  • Collision Damage: Colliding with spikes is enough to kill your turtle. However, other enemies won't damage him.
  • Cosmetic Award: Several. Some of them, however, actually increase your effectiveness in torturing the turtle.
  • Crossover: The August 2017 event for Zombidle features a crossover with characters from Toss the Turtle as well as GonzoSSM's other works.
  • Depth Deception: You can collide with the sun without even leaving the atmosphere.
  • Deus ex Nukina: You can buy several nukes to bolster your speed and height.
  • Equipment-Based Progression: The game has this as the main game mechanic. The farther you launch the projectile the more money is available for upgrades, and each upgrade helps you go further, and so on ad infinitum.
  • Expy:
    • That Squirtle, I mean, turtle sure looks familiar.
    • Also the Diglett angry ground creature.
  • Funny Animal: The gangster hounds.
  • Infinity +1 Sword: The Newgrounds Tank and the Golden Gun. With both of these weapons, you can easily breach the 100-mile mark.
  • Just One More Level!: There's an achievement for that. Three of them, in fact!
  • Lethal Joke Weapon: That banana gives you the biggest boost out of anything you could possibly hit.
  • Made of Iron: It doesn't matter how much abuse the turtle goes through, he just sits up and breathes a sigh of relief when he comes to a stop. And even if you hit the spikes, he's still up and about for the next shot, none the worse for wear.
  • More Dakka: You buy increasingly more powerful tanks and guns over the course of the game.
  • Pun: "Get shot up" says the achievement for landing in the gunfire of a gangster dog and being propelled upward.
  • Shoryuken: The banana performs this maneuver if you so much as touch him.
  • Shout-Out:
  • Spikes of Doom: This particular variety stops you instantly, unless you have a chest bomb on.