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Video Game / Secondhand Lands

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Secondhand Lands was a downloadable fairy tale MMORPG, designed by indie developer Bobby Thurman with a closed beta launch for PC and Mac of April 1st, 2008. The initial full release was in 2009. It was taken offline in 2021 and is no longer playable.

It was am unique game that satirized many fairy tales and nursery rhymes, including Little Red Riding Hood, Three Little Kittens, Mother Goose, Little Bo Peep, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, as well as countless other and original material as well. In the game, you were able to play as a Wolf, Sheep, Scrapper (Anthropomorphic Animals), or a Catgirl, and you were able to choose whether to join the Little Red Riding Hood or Little Bo Peep alliance, regardless of race. The game followed a storyline determined by the route you chose, beginning in an adorable village populated by cats to an ironically named "Peaceful Glade", in which your character encountered dreadful monsters. The game was shut down briefly in March 2012 and was reopened later before finally being shut down again in 2021.


Secondhand Lands contains examples of:

  • Action Girl: Little Red, all the way.
  • Adaptation Species Change: Mother Goose. In the original nursery rhyme, she is portrayed as an old woman, but here she's...A literal goose...
  • Adults Are More Anthropomorphic: Mama Catt is an anthropomorphic cat and her kittens appear more like realistic kittens.
  • Alpha Bitch: Goldilocks is a perfect example of this, being a very manipulative, bratty, and inconsiderate teenager.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Myrtle May is an example, as she will kiss the player and like it, regardless of their gender.
  • Animal Chick Magnet: Bluntie the lamb and Teddy the unicorn fit this trope perfectly.
  • Animals Not to Scale: Very common, mainly with the characters Pokey & Darius. Darius is a kitten, while Pokey is a tortoise, yet Pokey towers over Darius while Darius barely reaches Pokey's ankle.
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  • Amazing Technicolor Wildlife: Many, MANY of these in various villages.
  • Big Bad: All bosses: Paris, Bubbles, Sparkles, Cupcake, The Felhounds, Elliot The Dragon, and later Rupert.
  • Brainy Burnette: Little Red, although her hair is black.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Happens quite often throughout the game, mentioning their awareness of the world being a "game", EXP, gold, items, tokens, etc.
  • Cat Girl: One of the playable races in the game, also the species of a few characters in the game.
  • Civilized Animal: Most of the animals in the game actually act quite human.
  • Cute Kitten: The kittens in Mother Goose Village.
  • Cute Monster Girls: Catgirls.
  • Darker and Edgier: The Wolf Village is darker and less lighthearted in appearance than the Sheep Village.
  • Dark Humor: Used throughout the game, though not that frequently.
  • Deathbringer the Adorable: The Big Bad Wolf is one of these. Despite being called Big And Bad, we discover that those rumors are not true and were spread by people who didn't like her, and that she truly is kind and understanding.
  • Dreadful Musician: Skyler is one of these. When composing a "ballad" for a fairy named Violet Smile, it can be heard later by the player and it was commented as being so horrible that the monkeys stole the conch shell that played it due to annoyance, causing the player to have to retrieve it in a quest.
  • Dumb Blonde: Little Bo Peep can be considered one of these, as well as Goldilocks in the beginning, but Goldilocks is revealed to be manipulative and bratty later.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: The names of the four dangerous pwnys are...Paris, Bubbles, Sparkles, and Cupcake...
  • Gay Moment: This depends on the player's gender. If the player is female, the player is kissed by a female troll named Myrtle May who expresses romantic interest in the player, leading to one of these.
  • Hollywood Tone-Deaf: The Skyler's singing voice is clearly exaggerated for humor.
  • Little Bit Beastly: The catgirls qualify for this trope.
  • Lighter and Softer: This would be the Fairy Village in comparison to the rest of the Fairy Island.
  • Humanlike Hand Anatomy: The scrappers have these, same with feet.
  • Kiss of Death: Paris does this to defeat her enemies. This attack drains about 500 health points from the player. Ouch...
  • Love Makes You Dumb: This is so for a fairy named Violet Smile, who is said to be in love with a gnome named Skyler and acts airheaded and ditzy throughout her appearance in the game due to this.
  • Magical Land: Secondhand Lands IS a magical land, populated with catgirls, scrappers, wolves, sheep, and other animals, only with a few humans.
  • Parental Abandonment: Mama Catt sometimes implies this when getting irritated with her kids. For example, when being taunted by John (One Of Her Kittens), she says "Keep it up John, and I'm leaving!" implying threatened Parental Abandonment.
  • Potty Humor: Lots of this throughout.
  • Raised by Wolves: Little Bo Peep and Little Red Riding Hood.
  • Red Oni,Blue Oni: Played ironically with Little Red Riding Hood and Little Bo Peep. Although Little Red Riding Hood's theme color is (Obviously) red, and Little Bo Peep's theme color is blue, the dynamic is COMPLETELY reversed personality-wise, with Little Bo Peep being the red oni and Little Red Riding Hood being the blue oni.
  • Talking Animal: All of the animals can speak, excluding some of the enemies.
  • Taste the Rainbow: This is directly referenced in the catchphrase of the rainbow warriors (Who are skunks, by the way): "SMELL THE RAINBOW!" before defeating someone with rainbow colored stench.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: Little Red Riding Hood and Little Bo Peep respectively.