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Video Game / Panzermadels

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Panzer Vor!
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Panzermadels is a Dating Sim game by DEVGRU-P. In the game, you play as Erwin Lemmor, an aspiring military officer who discovers the "Tank School" he enrolled in is not a school that will teach him how to operate a tank, but rather a school for tanks, all of which take the form of teenage girls.

Not to be confused with Tank Girl.


The game provides examples of:

  • 24-Hour Armor: Heartmann is never seen outside of uniform, not even at a hot spring. He justifies himself claiming that after a while, your uniform becomes a second skin in an NCO's mind.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: Parodied: Erwin is repeatedly flabbergasted and disbelieving of the concept of Tank Girls... despite his country currently being at war with Plane Girls who even claimed his father's life.
  • Buxom Is Better: The girls' height is based upon the relative height of their real-life counterparts, but their armor+armament is reflected in their, erm, assets.
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  • Dating Sim: The gameplay.
  • Developers' Foresight: The phone numbers the girls give out have pre-recorded messages, as Team Four Star found out.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Lemmor makes fun of Heartmann in class by asking him how he likes to penetrate tanks. He retaliates by making Lemmor practice 'angling his armor' to deflect a live 75-76mm HE artillery shell fired at point blank range.
  • Does Not Know His Own Strength: Lemmor is an ordinary human man surrounded by anthropomorphic tanks. T-34 is the lightest tank girl, and even she accidentally hurts him by squeezing his hand when startled "with the force of a medium tank". When they first meet, Tiger knocks Lemmor unconscious by running into him in the hallway. The 'good' ending, in which Lemmor dies "riding tanks", implies that he fell afoul of this trope.
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  • Double Entendre: In the Downer Ending below, it is mentioned that Erwin died doing what he loved: riding tanks.
  • Downer Ending: Regardless of which girl Erwin picks, he is later court-martialed for his relationship, sentenced to a penal battalion and eventually dies in combat. Unless he picks IS-2, in which case she either ends up blowing him and herself up with a grenade or her not showing up to cadet court and he ends up being executed.
  • Drill Sergeant Nasty: Gunny Sergeant Heartmann serve as such to poor Erwin.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: T-34 seems to hate the name "Tee-Chan".
  • Fragile Flower: Tiger I, since she's been known to "break down a lot."
  • Fourth Wall Psych: If you tell IS-2 that you've never been inside a tank, she responds with "Then why are you playing this game?" When Erwin acts confused, she adds "This game where you wait to ask me if I want to get a drink with you."
  • Genius Bonus: Many, starting with one of Tiger's (many) gearboxes seizing up.
  • Ghostapo: Parodied with the Occult Club managed by the German tanks.
  • Hidden Depths: Gunny knows French. Because 'it's the language of love'.
  • Historical In-Joke: In spades, starting with the opening quote by "Benito Putin, Prime Minister of Crimea."
  • Huge Schoolgirl: Tiger, of course, and ISU-152.
  • Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Lemmor only survives Sherman genuinely trying to hit him with an HE shell because 'she couldn't hit the broad side of a barn'.
  • Meet Cute: Tiger and Lemmor meet in the infirmary, after she knocked him unconscious by running into him.
  • Propaganda Machine: The Russian tanks have turned the school paper into the literal second coming of Pravda. Headlines include "Heroic Defender of the Motherland Drives Back Entire German Armored Division with Bayonet and Flag", "Putin Voted Best Religious Leader of the Past 3000 Years" and "136% of Crimeans Agree: Ukraine a Failed State, Secession Is the Answer".
  • Properly Paranoid: T-34 voices suspicions that her phone is tapped. Given her background as a Soviet tank, and IS-2's friendliness with her Uncle Stalin and enthusiasm for Lemmor, she could be right.
  • Sdrawkcab Name: Lemmor is Rommel backwards.
  • Shout-Out:
  • Stalker with a Crush: IS-2. But 'only' for six city blocks.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: The food at King Donalds seems to be the thing for M4 Sherman.
  • Yandere: IS-2.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: T-34's is pink. Tog-2's is White.
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