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Video Game / Armed Prophet

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"In a bar in the very near future", a man among men is drinking some beer when suddenly, the TV displays news that the world is being attacked by aliens, zombies and robots at the same time! With the Earth in desperate need of a savior, our hero remembers his tattoo depicting a robot-alien-zombie thing and, probably under heavy influence of beer, takes it for a prophecy of the fact that he is the one fated to stop these threats. So he grabs the nearest crowbar and goes forth to kick some zombie, alien and machine ass. Can he stop the zombie invasion at the aptly named Dead Gulch, repel the aliens infesting Area 51 and destroy the killer robots ruling past and future with an iron fist, all at once?

Armed Prophet is a Beat 'em Up brawler Flash game, programmed by Seething Swarm, with art by Kostas Skiftas (Valerofond) and music by Harry Partridge. The game can be found here. As you can probably already tell by the description, it contains quite a fair bit of humor. If you like brawlers, the game is warmly recommended.

The game contains examples of:

  • Action Bomb: Smileborg summons little critters that explode (slowly) when they get close to you.
  • Alien Invasion: One of the stages, set in Area 51.
  • Breath Weapon: Zomg exhales huge lasers.
  • Crosshair Aware: A shadow appears on the spot where Zomboss will land after a super jump.
  • Crowbar Combatant: A crowbar is your starting weapon.
  • Deflector Shields: The Cyberblade you get from Smileborg has this for a Limit Break.
  • Dual Wielding: Smileborg uses two razor blades. The alien melee mooks also use dual blades.
  • Easy-Mode Mockery: The easy mode is named "Little Girl". The description reads, "Be gentle, it's my first time!"
    • Numerical Hard: "Real Man" difficulty just adds a ton of health to the enemies while halving yours.
  • Everything Is Ani Pod In The Future: The Robots
  • Everything's Deader with Zombies: One of the stages.
  • Flying Saucer: For aliens. Saucers drop bombs, you can hit them only by jumping, and they may spawn an alien melee mook when they die.
  • Frankenstein's Monster: Zomboss evokes one with its stitches.
  • The Greys: They could be expected in such a game, but averted instead - the aliens are blue and have vaguely crocodilian faces.
  • Killer Rabbit: The robots have monitors displaying happy smiling faces while they tear you apart. Possibly to parody those annoying smiley advertisements.
  • King Mook: All of them to some extent, but Zomg most of them, as he looks almost exactly like the rest of his kin, except that he's HUGE compared to them and wields a big Blade on a Stick.
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  • Limit Break: The powerful special abilities of the weapons, useable once you've beaten enemies hard enough.
  • Meaningful Name: Zomboss is, well, a zombie boss. Smileborg is a robot (cyborg?) that smiles.
  • Nice Hat: Zomboss wears a top hat.
  • Nintendo Hard: Real Man mode is this.
  • Punny Name: It's not even a pun, Zomg's name is literally the internet corruption of the acronym "OMG" meaning "oh my God". And guess what the achievement for killing him is named?
  • Quad Damage: The Limit Break from the Arm of Zomboss powers up your attacks immensely.
  • Robot War: The robots from the future are invading the present.
  • Set a Mook to Kill a Mook: You can and should use your superior mobility to get the enemies to hit each other with their attacks. This is particularly important in the Robot stage, where two of the three enemy types have long-reach attacks that can easily devastate both you and their own allies. The Alien saucers are immune to their own bombs, but they can do a number on their grounded allies.
  • Shadow of Impending Doom: A shadow marks the spot where Zomboss will land after his massive jump.
  • Shock and Awe: The crowbar's Limit Break is a lightning storm that kills all books onscreen and deals heavy damage even to bosses.
  • Some Kind of Force Field: The powerup you get from the Smileborg's blade.
  • Spin Attack: One of Zomg's signature attacks.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: The main character is a tatooed manly man. The Hard Mode in this game is called "Real Man" with this description: "I like beer and breaking spines."
  • Wave Motion Gun: The Alienator's Limit Break allows you to fire giant red beams. Also, Zomg's breath and Smileborg's laser.


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