Useful Notes / Canadian Provinces and Territories

"...the Provinces of Canada, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick shall form and be One Dominion under the Name of Canada; and on and after that Day those Three Provinces shall form and be One Dominion under that Name accordingly"

— Constitution Act, 1867 Article 2, Section 3

Canada is made up of a federation of ten provinces and three territories. The theory of this is that each of the provinces is a separate, independent jurisdiction that has joined with the other separate, independent jurisdictions to form the united federation of Canada. As such, each has its own Lieutenant-Governor^note If you're wondering why they're Lieutenant Governors and not Governors, it's because they were originally subordinate to the federal Governor General (who technically still appoints them and could theoretically overrule them). However, several court rulings made them into direct representatives of the Sovereign instead of the Governor General, effectively reducing the GG's powers and further increasing the autonomy of the provinces. and parliament of its own right. The territories, meanwhile, are under the direct control of the united Crown of Canada, represented in the territory by a commissioner (or to be more poetic: in a province, the King is the King because he the the King of the province. In a territory, he is the King because he is the King of Canada as a whole).

If you're an American, you can think of the territories being operated similar to DC, Guam, or Puerto Rico, and the provinces being operated similar to any of the 50 states. If you are Australian, you can think of the provinces as the equivalent of your states while the territories are the equivalent of Northern Territory. If you are Russian, you can think of the provinces are similar to the oblasts, krais and the Jewish Autonomous Oblast while the territories are similar to the republics, the autonomous okrugs and the cities of federal significance.

There is a clear sense of boisterous competition between all thirteen divisions (and sometimes within an individual region as well); for Ontario, this is mostly centered on Toronto.

The Constitution assigns some policy areas to the federal government and some to the provinces, and made some policy areas shared. The federal government deals with issues like national defense, shipping, fisheries, and currency. The provinces lead on issues such as hospitals and education. Issues like agriculture, immigration and old age pensions are shared between the federal and provincial governments.

In keeping with Canada as the second largest country by land mass (only beaten by Russia in sheer size, and the majority of the country is cold empty forest just like them), most of these divisions are quite large. However, some provinces are much smaller, reflecting the divisions of the original settlers.

Compare The Several States, the American equivalent focusing on the 50 states and territories of the United States, The 16 Lands of Deutschland and The Glorious Federal Subjects, the Russian equivalent focusing on the 83 or 81 federal subjects of Russia.

Central Provinces

Ontario

National capital: Ottawa

Provincial capital and largest city: Toronto (aka Hogtown, TO)

Other cities of note: Niagara Falls, Hamilton (aka Steeltown), Guelph (aka Cowtown), Windsor (aka Car-town) (not really, borders Detroit, but isn't as crumbling and depressed), London (like its namesake, is also on a Thames River), Kingston (home of the first Prime Minister), Sudbury (the world class Neutrino Observatory makes this city a good setting for sci-fi novels), Thunder Bay (best city for climbing up a frozen waterfall if you can overlook its Wretched Hive status), Barrie (cottage country), and Kitchener-Waterloo (birthplace of BlackBerry)

Best known for: Economic powerhouse of Canada

Provincial official motto: Ut incipit fidelis sic permanet^*"Loyal she began; loyal she remains".

Provincial touristic motto: Yours to discover

Population: 14,789,778. Biggest.

Notable media set in Ontario: Scott Pilgrim, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, For Better or for Worse, The Listener, Rookie Blue, Degrassi, Letterkenny, Murdoch Mysteries, Schitt's Creek, Strange Brew, Captain Flamingo, The Red Green Show, Sidekick, Grojband, Total Drama, Camp Lakebottom, Detentionaire, 6teen, Justin Time (2011), The Dating Guy, Kim's Convenience, Turning Red

NHL teams: Toronto Maple Leafs (sorry, you will never get tickets to a home game) and the Ottawa Senators. There have been more than a couple of petitions to bring one of the bankrupt southern US teams to the hockey-hungry province (suggested cities included Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo region, Hamilton, London, and Mississauga, as well as simply putting an additional team in Toronto)^note Statistical analyst and rabid hockey fan (he's American, but more importantly he's from Michigan) Nate Silver advocates for putting one in Hamilton and one in Toronto. but all have been refused.

CFL teams: The Toronto Argonauts (known for the distinctive "Argoooos" cheer), Hamilton Tiger-Cats (Ti-Cats to their fans), and the league's newest team, the Ottawa Redblacks (which began play in 2014).

MLB team: The Toronto Blue Jays are the country's only MLB team.^note Montreal had an MLB team, the Expos, in 1969, eight years before the Jays were created. They usually sucked, but in 1994, they were the best team in baseball. However, 1994 was also the year the MLB Players went on strike, so the season ended before the Expos could claim the National League pennant and World Series everybody thought (and hoped) they were on track for. After the strike ended, the Expos proceeded to suck again for another ten years before they moved to Washington, D.C. in 2005, became the Nationals, and stopped sucking a few years later.

NBA team: The Toronto Raptors, like the Blue Jays in MLB, are Canada's only NBA team.^note  In 1947 the Toronto Huskies were part of the Basketball Association of America which became the NBA a few years later. The NBA considers BAA history as NBA history. The Huskies lasted one season. Vancouver had an NBA team, the Grizzlies, established in 1995, but they usually sucked, and moved to Memphis in 2001. A few years later they stopped sucking.

MLS team: Toronto FC, Canada's first MLS team. ^note Sucked for a while but have improved dramatically without moving, winning their first championship in 2017.

Famous Ontarians: Justin Bieber, Phil Hartman, Wayne Gretzky, Don Cherry, Alanis Morissette, Rush, probably most of the other Canadians you've heard of (the anglophone ones anyway)

Most common stereotype: Southern Ontarians forget the rest of the country even exists, northern Ontarians are miners, loggers, or hunters and speak a strange hybrid language of French, English, and Cree. Ottawa, a city of public servants is considered sleepy by the rest of Ontario, who joke that its night life starts at 6pm and ends at 8pm. John Oliver jokingly called Ottawa "The city that fun forgot."

Best way to insult an Ontarian: Bring up the collapse of the manufacturing sector post 2008 and suggest they move to Alberta.

Other useful info: Ontario's last call is at 2 am, its neighbour province of Quebec is 3 am. Due to this neigbhouring cities such as Gatineau changed their closing hours to reduce drunk driving and rowdy partying.

Geographic shape: Resembles a sleeping whale, whereby the "tail" forms the more highly populated south.

Quebec

Capital: Quebec City
Largest city: Montreal
Other cities of note: Sherbrooke (home to one of the biggest universities), Chicoutimi, Trois-Rivières (where all of your tax forms go), Gatineau (borders Ottawa), Laval, Longueuil (technically just a very large suburb of Montreal), Saguenay.

Best known for: Being French, separatism, French music, poutine (fries, cheese curds and gravy), language laws (require business signs in French), French TV and movies, history, protesting, sign-waving students, rednecks in rural areas, shitty roads and did we mention they speak French?

Provincial motto: Je me souviens^note I remember

Provincial touristic motto: La belle province^note The beautiful province; it was notable for being added on Quebec's license plates

Population: 8,501,833 . Second largest (almost 2/3 of all Canadians live in Ontario or Quebec)

Notable media set in Quebec: Bon Cop, Bad Cop; French Immersion; The High Cost Of Living; La Grande Seduction; Alfred Hitchcock's I Confess was largely set in Quebec City; Jacob Two-Two, Fred's Head, My Goldfish is Evil, Ben's City

NHL teams: The Montreal Canadiens (or "Habs") whose fans are known for rioting regardless of the actual outcome of the game. It is still a point of contention with the NHL commissioner that the Nordiques have not returned to Quebec City.^note Nate Silver, the analyst mentioned in the note on Ontario teams, also agrees that the Nordiques should be revived as part of the same proposal that adds a team in Toronto and one in Hamilton. He also thinks reviving the Maroons of yore (or otherwise putting a second team in Montreal) would make economic and competitive sense. Also known for their lengthy and heated rivalry with the Boston Bruins.

CFL teams: The Montreal Alouettes

MLS team: CF Montréal^*known before 2021 as the Montreal Impact

Famous people from Quebec: Céline Dion, Simple Plan, Arcade Fire^note Though lead singer Win Butler and his brother Will were originally from Texas, William Shatner, Mario Lemieux, Jay Baruchel, Leonard Cohen, Mordecai Richler, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

Most common stereotype: The chain-smoking, wine-drinking, foul-mouthed, Canada-hating, heavily-accented protester who will sleep with your girlfriend; the chain-smoking, beer-drinking, dip-using, foul-mouthed, Canada-hating, heavily-accented redneck who will "roll coal" on you in his lifted pickup truck with a Quebec flag airbrushed on the tailgate; or the dreadlocked, weed-smoking, beer-drinking hitchhiker who speaks next to no English trying to hitch their way out to British Columbia to work as a fruit picker for the summer.

Best way to insult a Quebecer / un(e) Quebecois(se): Francophone: insist they speak English (or "speak white" if you really want a fight), Anglophone: insist they speak French, both: "LES TABARNAK DE HABS/FUCK THE HABS!" (careful with this last one, it has a good chance of getting you knocked out).

Other useful info: The largest population of French speakers in North America.

So they speak French, eh?: Actually, the dialect is much more old fashioned and "twangier" than what is spoken in France; the distinction is something akin to a Southern drawl in American English. As well, swear words are quite different from one to another, leading to movies dubbed in France being given a lighter rating in Quebec. "Fuck" and "shit" are actually quite mild in Quebec French and are roughly akin to "hell" and "dammit"; strong Quebec French profanity is known as "sacre" and consists of reappropriated words and phrases related to Catholicism and its liturgy. "Tabarnak", "crisse", and "calice", among others, are all roughly akin to the strongest words in the English language.

Geographic shape: Largest province, resembled a wonky tulip. Actually over twice the size of Texas.

Western/Prairie Provinces

British Columbia

Capital: Victoria

Largest city: Vancouver

Other cities of note: Nanaimo (yes, the coastal city where Nanaimo bars come from), Whistler (yes, you do want to ski here), Surrey, Fort Nelson (last stop on the Alaska Highway before the Yukon), Prince George, Abbotsford, and more cities beginning with K than any other province (including Kamloops, Kitimat, and Kelowna)

Best known for: Mountains and ocean; Vancouver as the host of the CVR convention since 2016, setting of Continuum and home of the long-shuttered Mainframe Entertainment which produced ReBoot, as well as the host of the 1986 World Exposition and birthplace/home of the "McBarge" floating fast food joint built for said Expo; Victoria as the home of Gaslamp Games which developed Dungeons of Dredmor and Clockwork Empires. Known throughout Canada for bursting into a giant ball of flame every summer. Also known as the destination for many a poor young Quebecois trying to hitchhike out to work as a fruit picker for the summer in a THC-laden haze.

Provincial motto: Splendor sine occasu^*"Splendour Undiminishing"

Provincial touristic motto: Beautiful British Columbia ^* it used to be "The Best Place On Earth", but the province eventually decided that was a bit egotistical. Before that it was "Super, Natural British Columbia" which didn't always sit well. Prior to that... well, let's just say that the "most important" city in the province wasn't exactly considered tourist-y until some time after 1986.

Population: 5,000,879. Third largest.

Notable media set in BC: Sanctuary, Da Vinci's Inquest, In the Land of the Head Hunters, the above-mentioned Continuum, several novels in a surprising variety of genres and series including The Avenger, The Hardy Boys and a (non-Sci-Fi) book by Jules Verne, Being Ian, Kid vs. Kat, League of Super Evil, Stōked, Braceface, The Grey Fox.

Notable media filmed in BC: A list that would probably take up more than half this page

NHL teams: The Vancouver Canucks, known for having fewer players who are from Vancouver than most of the teams they play against.

CFL teams: BC Lions

MLS team: Vancouver Whitecaps

Famous British Columbians: Terry Fox^note  Cancer research activist; famous for his attempt to run across Canada on an artificial leg, which ended when his cancer returned and soon claimed his life. Born in Winnipeg, but lived in the Vancouver area from age 8 until his death., Steve Nash^note Born in South Africa, but raised from early childhood in Victoria, Michael J. Fox^note Born in Edmonton as a Military Brat, but settled in Burnaby after his dad retired from the military, Cory Monteith^note Born in Calgary, but grew up in Victoria after his parents' divorce, Seth Rogen, Dan Mangan, B.Traits, almost every extra on a Syfy original show.

Most common stereotype: Hippies, tree hugger protesters, pot growers/weed smokers, surfers, high Asian population, and lumberjacks. If from within 25 kilometers of the border with the United States, varying degrees of tradition-focused old people and the recent high-school graduate who came to your university from towns essentially run by said old people.

Best way to insult a British Columbian: Call them a hippie, tree hugger, or surfer. Or, start a conversation about oil pipelines. As with the other provinces, assuming that someone is from the largest, most well known city (in this case Vancouver), rather than literally anywhere else is always annoying.

Other useful info: Home to the highest diversity of First Nations peoples, as was partially showcased during the 2010 Winter Olympics. Also home to Butchart Gardens. The otherwise non-notable small city of Castlegar is apparently a major centre of over 100k where a certain creepypasta took place. The otherwise completely non-existent "city" of Greenwood is apparently located on Vancouver Island. Everything else in proximity of the latter, near but to the west of the former, and southeast of Kelowna may as well be a kilometres-long stretch of winding road through pristine forest in the eyes of the media, and anything located anywhere near to the north actually is. Kokanee beer is made in the province at a brewery nestled in the heart of the Rocky Mountains and certainly not in the flattest part of the province east of the Fraser Valley.

Geographic shape: Rectangular but shifted on one end. Borders the Alaskan panhandle, the exact dimensions of which were hotly debated between Canada and the USA until the Yukon Gold Rush forced a settlement. This makes it the only province to border both Alaska and the Lower 48 states of the US.

Manitoba

Capital and largest city: Winnipeg

Other cities of note: Brandon (aka, the other city in Manitoba), Churchill (not really a city, but they've got polar bears!)

Best known for: Flat fields of wheat, lakes, coldest intersection, the "Gimli Glider"^note An Air Canada plane that ran out of fuel and made an emergency landing in the town of Gimli in 1983 owing to a misunderstanding of Imperial vs metric units.

Provincial motto: Gloriosus et Liber^*"Glorious and Free"

Provincial touristic motto: Friendly Manitoba

Population: 1,342,153. Small.

Notable media set in Manitoba: Tales from the Gimli Hospital, My Winnipeg, Crime Wave, Less Than Kind

NHL teams: The Jets are back!

CFL teams: The Winnipeg Blue Bombers

Famous Manitobans: The Weakerthans, Neil Young, The Guess Who (and thus, by extension, Bachman Turner Overdrive), Tom Cochrane, Monty Hall, Chris Jericho^note (born on Long Island while his dad was playing in the NHL, but grew up in Winnipeg), Spectrum Pulse, Kenny Omega

Most common stereotype: Really cold and really boring, but the people there are nice. Basically Minnesota (which borders the province to the south) with polar bears.

Best way to insult a Winnipegger: You mean there are other places in Manitoba? You mean there is a place called Manitoba?

Other useful info: Hundreds of the lakes, streams, rivers, etc. are unnamed; a naming convention has been set up by the Manitoba government to acknowledge service people (such as firefighters, police officers, or soldiers) who are killed in the line of duty by naming a water body after them. Also, in Churchill there's a law actually banning you from locking your car during certain parts of the year, just in case a polar bear is wandering around, and a pedestrian needs a quick refuge.

Geographic shape: Rectangular with an extra bit reaching out to grab Hudson's Bay

Alberta

Capital: Edmonton (on a technicality; second-largest city would become the capital, and at the time that was put in effect, Calgary was slightly smaller... until Edmonton stole it by Gerrymandering away several of its outer neighbourhoods. Considering that Calgary still ended up as the primary economic centre, and that Edmonton's location so far north means it is likely the best that could be hoped for.)

Largest city: Calgary (once again, on a technicality)

Other cities of note: Grande Prairie (farming town with some oil side business), Lethbridge (farming town with some natural gas side business), Medicine Hat (just has an awesome name; appears to be a Dying Town on Google Street View), Red Deer (midway between Calgary and Edmonton), Fort McMurray (aka the Oil Sands or New Newfoundland), Drumheller (home of the Tyrell Natural History Museum and several dinosaur-themed tourist traps, including the inspiration for the Dino-bite Gift Shop in Novac, thanks to the local discovery of extensive fossil records and dinosaur skeletons such as the only-locally-found Albertosaurus)

Best known for: Ranchers, Country music, Conservatives, Oil, Beef, the West Edmonton Mall, Dinosaurs

Provincial motto: Fortis et Liber^*"Strong and Free"

Provincial touristic motto: Wild Rose Country

Population: 4,262,635 . Fourth largest, Contains half the population of Newfoundland on a good day. Has more bad drivers per capita than any other province.

Notable media set in Alberta: Any oil documentary ever, FUBAR, Heartland, What's with Andy?, Crash Canyon

NHL teams: Although the Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers are fierce rivals, both flames and oil can be found at refineries in both cities.

CFL teams: The Calgary Stampeders and the Edmonton Elks^note Formerly the Edmonton Eskimos, and briefly as the Edmonton Football Team. The new name allows them to keep their old EE logo. It was initially used only as an alternate logo, but in 2022 returned to their helmets.

Famous Albertans: Paul Brandt, Nickelback^note Except the drummer Daniel Adair who's from British Columbia, Corb Lund (aka the "Hurtin' Albertan"), k. d. lang, Nathan Fillion, Bret Hart and his deceased brother Owen, Tegan & Sara

Most common stereotype: More Maritimers live in Alberta than the Maritimes, everyone's rich off the oil fields (or broke ex-oil field workers depending on the price of oil), and everyone who's not is a cowboy. Albertans eat STEAK. Or for Americans: Texas with snow.

Best way to insult an Albertan: Serve a vegetarian meal^note The Canadian country music scene, based in Alberta, famously turned its back on homegrown country singer k. d. lang not when she came out as a lesbian, but when she came out as a vegetarian (Thanks to Alberta's dominance over the Canadian cattle industry)., vote Liberal or NDP, unless you live in Edmonton (this one may not work as well anymore, considering Alberta voted in its first NDP majority government in 2015^*due to a split in the provincial Progressive Conservatives, with many bolting to support the upstart Wildrose Party; the two merged soon thereafter and formed the United Conservative Party, which won a majority mandate in 2019 and 2023, although in a much closer race the second time around). Tell an Edmontonian that Calgary is better (or vice versa). Insult Calgary's mayor (Calgarians only).

Other useful info: Wood Buffalo National Park in Northern Alberta is an area of boreal forest set aside as protected habitat for wood bison, caribou, moose and other threatened species and is larger than Switzerland.

Geographic shape: Rectangular with a bite taken out of the southwest

Saskatchewan

Capital: Regina

Largest city: Saskatoon

Other cities of note: Moose Jaw, Prince Albert, Yorkton, Rouleau (a.k.a "Dog River")

Best known for: Wheat, potash, uranium^notefeaturing the worlds largest known high-grade uranium deposit, and being flat^notedespite large chunks of the province that aren't actually all that flat.

Provincial motto: Multis e Gentibus Vires^*"Strength from many peoples"

Provincial touristic motto: Land of living skies

Population: 1,132,505. Ukrainian

Notable media set in Saskatchewan: Corner Gas, Little Mosque on the Prairie, Atomic Betty, Fugget About It, Life's a Zoo

NHL teams: There exist petitions calling for an NHL franchise in Saskatoon, which amazingly almost got the St. Louis Blues when the team was up for sale in 1982.

CFL teams: The Saskatchewan Roughriders, which play in Regina (not to be confused with the former Ottawa Rough Riders). Fans are known for their overexuberance. It's not surprising to see Roughriders fans paint themselves green and use their jerseys as capes to watch the game on TV. In the stands, expect to see at least one or two watermelon helmets.

Famous Saskatchewaners (Saskatchewinners!): Brent Butt of Corner Gas, Kiefer Sutherland, Kiefer Sutherland's maternal grandpa, Tommy Douglas^note who was premier of Saskatchewan for 20 years and more or less invented Canada's single-payer healthcare system; he was voted "Greatest Canadian" in a 2004 survey), Gordie Howe, Leslie Nielsen, Tatiana Maslany, Kim Coates, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Brock Lesnar (though he was born in South Dakota), Deadpool, Bear Hugger^note before the Wii remake of the first game retconned him to be from Salmon Arm, British Columbia.

Most common stereotype: Farmers, Brent Butt of Corner Gas, and the ability to see from one end of the province to the other. In fact, Saskatchewan is so flat that when your dog runs away, you can watch him go for three days.

Best way to insult a Saskatcherwaner: Saskatchewiener, Saskatchawhiner; saying anything negative about the Riders is akin to saying "TABARNAK DE HABS" in Quebec.

Other useful info: Actually one of the more successful provinces coming out of the recession, in part due to uranium mines and recently re-opened rare Earth mineral mines (metals used in high tech devices). Because it straddles two time zones, Saskatchewan doesn't follow Daylight Saving Time, thus matching Alberta on Mountain Time in the summer and Manitoba on Central Time in the winter.^note Astute readers will note that this puts the province on DST year-round. The area immediately surrounding the Saskatchewan side of the biprovincial city of Lloydminster is an exception to this rule—that area uses Mountain Time with DST, keeping its clocks synchronized with Alberta year-round. Many residents of Alberta and B.C. were born and raised in Saskatchewan.

Geographic shape: It's a rectangle!^noteActually, the border between Saskatchewan and Manitoba is staircase-shaped — Highway 167 runs north from Creighton into Flin Flon, Manitoba.

Atlantic/Maritime Provinces

Nova Scotia

Capital and largest city: Halifax

Other cities of note: Dartmouth^*Though officially Dartmouth has been part of Halifax since 1996., Sydney, Lunenberg^*The old town is a UNESCO World Heritage Site

Provincial motto: Munit haec et altera vincit^*"One defends and the other conquers"

Provincial touristic motto: Canada's Ocean Playground

Best known for: Fiddle music, seafood, lighthouses, sail boats, ship building

Population: 969,383. Bigger than the other Atlantic provinces, but not by much

Notable media set in Nova Scotia: Trailer Park Boys, Hobo with a Shotgun (probably), My Bloody Valentine, Self Defense, Def-Con 4, Theodore Tugboat, mentioned in "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon.

NHL teams: None, but some petitions exist to bring a NHL franchise to Halifax. Nova Scotia is the province where hockey was first invented; the first game on record was held in Windsor in 1789. The name is Latin for "New Scotland."

CFL teams: None, but there was a plan to bring a team to Halifax once in the 1980s (the Atlantic Schooners). The effort to bring the CFL to Nova Scotia was revived in the 2010s, and as of mid-2021 the only thing keeping the Schooners from joining the league is apparently the lack of a definite stadium-building plan in Halifax.

Famous Nova Scotians: The Trailer Park Boys, Picnicface, Hank Snow, Sloan (they are now based in Toronto though), Anne Murray, Alexander Graham Bell (summer home in Cape Breton Island), Sidney Crosby, Elliot Page, Sarah McLachlan

Most common stereotype: A little bit ridiculous, will drink you and your father under the table. Family connections are important here; at a party, the first questions are "who are your related to?"

Best way to insult a Nova Scotian: Assume they're from New Brunswick.

Other useful info: Contains more universities per capita than any other province, including six in Halifax alone.

Geographic shape: A fish swimming as fast as it can towards Rhode Island.

New Brunswick

Capital: Fredericton

Largest city: Moncton

Other cities of note: Saint John, Bathurst, Miramichi

Provincial motto: Spem reduxit^*"Hope restored"

Best known for: Being called "Nouveau-Brunswick" in French; it is the only officially bilingual province, on which 33% of the population of the province identifies as Acadian, a Francophone ethnic group.^note They're closely related to the Cajuns—Cajuns are descendants of Acadians who disliked the British takeover of Canada enough to leave/were ornery enough for the British make them leave/whom the British just decided they should leave for Louisiana; "Cajun" is derived from "Acadian", and to this day the traditionally Cajun regions of Louisiana are called "Acadiana". Nicknamed "No Funswick" by Nova Scotians who drive through it to party in Quebec.

Population: 775,610. Very small (but growing again).

Notable media set in New Brunswick: The Bay of Love and Sorrows, Sunrise at Campobello, Full Blast, Still Mine

CFL teams: None, though in 2010, 2011, and 2013, Moncton hosted one regular-season game. The CFL ended the Moncton experiment after 2013 due to declining attendance. Moncton offered to play host to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats during stadium repairs in 2013, but the Ti-Cats chose instead to play eight of their nine home games in the much closer city of Guelph, with the other home game in Moncton. This kept New Brunswick from becoming the first Atlantic province to get a CFL team. Sort of (they almost brought the CFL once to Halifax in the 1980s). The ownership of the current effort to get a CFL team for Atlantic Canada has hinted that the new team will play in Moncton before moving to their permanent Halifax home.

Famous people from New Brunswick: Donald Sutherland, Louis B. Mayer (one of the founders of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer)^note  Born in Minsk, then in the Russian Empire and now in Belarus, but raised in Saint John., Northrop Frye, Stompin' Tom Connors, Maryse^note  Born in Montreal, but raised in Edmundston.

Most common stereotype: Fishermen, seasonal workers, call centre employees, and Alberta shift workers.

Best way to insult a New Brunswicker/ un(e) Néo-Brunswickois(e): Mistake for Nova Scotia or refer to as "No Funswick." Also, depending on who you talk to, calling a New Brunswicker (of the Miramichi/Cassilis/Sunny Corner areas) a Hillbilly or a Redneck will either earn you a slap/insult back or a high five and a "We sure damn are! The very best!" For French speakers, insist they speak English all the time or call them liars if they claim to be from New Brunswick instead of Quebec.

Other useful info: The Bay of Fundy is home to the largest tides in the world.

Geographic shape: Square

Newfoundland and Labrador

Capital and largest city: St. John's

Other cities of note: Corner Brook, Gander (built around an airport!), Grand Falls-Windsor, Labrador City, Happy Valley-Goose Bay (built around a smaller airport!), Port aux Basques

Provincial motto: Quaerite prime regnum Dei^*"Seek ye first the kingdom of God" (Matthew 6:33)

Best known for: Distinct accents b'y, fiddle music, cod, Newfoundland dogs, the former Viking settlement at L'anse aux Meadows

Population: 510,550. Fishermen.

Notable media set in Newfoundland and Labrador: Republic of Doyle, Come from Away, Weird Years, What It's Like Being Alone, Son of a Critch

Famous Newfoundlanders: Rick Mercer, Great Big Sea, Bob Cole, ProtonJon, Chris McLean, 90% of comedians on CBC

Most common stereotype: Thick accents, fishermen, shift workers in Alberta, the lovable idiot (Newfie jokes), love overproof liquor

Best way to insult a Newfoundlander: Newfie jokes

Other useful info: Newfoundland was the last province to join Confederation - it was actually an independent British colony until 1949 (and still used the Union Flag as its provincial standard until 1980). In part due to historical isolation, some regions of Newfoundland have accents distinct enough that people familiar enough can tell what town, or even what part of that town, an accent is from. Recent expansion of offshore oil drilling has reversed the flow of immigration, leading to people finally moving to Newfoundland for jobs. On 9/11, the small city of Gander took in over 7,000 passengers from transatlantic airliners grounded due to the closure of North American airspace, an event chronicled in the musical Come from Away. Newfoundland was used as a alcohol smuggling point during Prohibition. The province has retained its love for the overproof "Screech" liquor that passed through the area during the 1920s.

Geographic shape: Two triangles with Newfoundland island resembling a T-Rex or Godzilla on its side. Newfoundland's an island, and Labrador is attached to the top of Quebec.

Prince Edward Island

Capital and largest city: Charlottetown

Other cities of note: Summerside, Cavendish

Provincial motto: Parva sub ingenti^*"The small protected by the great"

Best known for: Anne of Green Gables, red mud, potatoes

Population: 154,331. Very small (for a province—it's still 4.5 times larger than the largest Territory)

Notable media set in PEI: Anne of Green Gables and associated spin-offs, Eckhart

Famous Islanders: L.M. Montgomery, professional golfer Lorie Kane, Heather Moyse^note Multi-sport athlete—member of rugby union's Hall of Fame, two-time Olympic gold medalist in bobsled, Canadian international track cyclist... not to mention basketball and track at university, Jonathan Torrens

Most common stereotype: Friendly lobster fishermen and potato farmers, and that you can drive across the island province in less than a day...which is actually possible, but you gotta go fast.

Best way to insult an Islander: Insulting Anne will either earn you a handshake or a tongue lashing depending on who you talk to.

Other useful info: The mud really is red.^*Not to be confused with the industrial waste from aluminum production, traditionally called "red mud" but now more often called bauxite residue. There's more iron in it for some reason. The island has some of the best beaches on the Canadian East Coast.

Geographic shape: Resembles a jack-o-lantern's smile

Territories

Note- all three territories' capitals are also their largest "cities" (actually more like large towns).

Yukon

Capital: Whitehorse

Other cities of note: Dawson City

Best known for: The Alaska Highway, the Gold Rush, COLD

Population: 40,232. Really tiny

Notable media set in Yukon: Yukon Men, Ice Pilots, Yvon of the Yukon, City of Gold, Dawson City: Frozen Time,^note A documentary about the 1978 discovery of a cache of hundreds of silent films buried in Dawson City for decades, The Yukon Wolf, any story set during the Klondike Gold Rush (like Charlie Chaplin's The Gold Rush and several literary works by Jack London, such as "To Build a Fire" or The Call of the Wild)

Famous Yukon-ers: Pierre Berton, Victor Jory^note long-time Hollywood character actor, possibly best remembered for playing villainous Wilkerson in Gone with the Wind

Can Sarah Palin see the Yukon from her house? Probably not.

Most common stereotype: Big burly, bearded mountain men

Best way to insult a Yukon-er: If they're from Whitehorse, assume they're from Dawson City and vice versa.

NHL teams: None, but Dawson City was once home to a team, the Dawson City Nuggets, which played a Stanley Cup final against the Ottawa Senators back when the Stanley Cup was still played by teams challenging the reigning champion. Unsurprisingly, they lost. It is officially bilingual (English and French). The Yukon government also recognizes First Nations languages from the region.

Other useful info: Unlike other northern cities, Whitehorse has a noticeably higher percentage of women than men. The Territory itself was created to get a handle on the Klondike Gold Rush which saw tens of thousands of people head north on the promise of getting rich quick (a lot of them turned back). The stories of Sam Steele, the poem "The Cremation of Sam McGee", and the original reputation of the RCMP are from this era. The key economic activities are mining, oil and gas extraction and tourism (people come to see the Aurora Borealis (aka Northern Lights) and visit national parks and nature reserves).

Geographic shape: Triangular

Northwest Territories

Capital: Yellowknife

Other cities of note: Hay River (population: almost 4000)

Best known for: The Mackenzie River, Great Slave Lake, Polar bear shaped license plates, COLD

Population: 41,070. Tiny

Notable media set in NWT: Arctic Air, Ice Pilots^note the reality show that inspired Arctic Air, Ice Road Truckers

Famous NWT-ers: Margot Kidder

Most common stereotype: Does anyone actually live there?

Best way to insult a NWT-er: Why would you bother?

Other useful info: Northwest Territories is one of two jurisdictions in Canada where Indigenous people are the majority (the other is Nunavut). It's the rump of the vast North-Western Territories, which at one point encompassed an area comparable in size to India—basically everything northwest of Ontario, with the exception of BC. Over the 19th and 20th centuries, Manitoba, Yukon, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Nunavut were all carved out of it (in approximately that order). The Yellowknife Tim Hortons coffeeshop is the busiest Tim Hortons in the country, in part due to it being the only coffee shop within a day's drive on the only trucking route that services all the mining operations in the North that are reachable by road. Similarly, the Hay River Ford dealership was the most profitable in North America for years until the mining companies started diversifying their fleet. Contains the (fictional) H-Zero-H-Zero-H-Zero postal code for Santa via the real life location it's considered attached to^note if your kids ask, thanks to modern pop culture you can tell them Santa has multiple forwarding addresses and aliases, and watch the questions disappear regardless of location.

Geographic shape: Mainland NWT is shaped like a slide.

Nunavut

Capital: Iqaluit

Other cities of note: Alert, actually an American military base originally built during the Cold War, is the most northerly permanently inhabited human settlement even though no one actually lives there permanently.

Best known for: REALLY FUCKING COLD, being accessible only by air

Territorial official motto: Nunavut Sannginivut^*"Our Land/Nunavut [same thing in Inuktitut], Our Strength." Technically this should be in Inuktitut syllabics but technical limitations make that difficult at best on this wiki.

Population: 36,858. Very tiny

Notable media set in Nunavut: Ice Pilots, Sly 2: Band of Thieves, The Terror (the book) and The Terror (TV miniseries adaptation)

Famous Nunavummiut: Susan Aglukark^note Born in Churchill, MB but raised in what is now Arviat, Nunavut, Tanya Tagaq

Most common stereotype: Everyone is either Inuit or crazy for moving there.

Best way to insult a Nunavummiuq: Tell them they're crazy for moving there. They'll just laugh at you. On the other hand, if you're American, calling an Inuk an "eskimo" (or a non-Inuk Nunavummiuq, for that matter) can be a quick way to get written off as a fool.

Other useful info: Food that is flown up to Nunavut is very expensive, so people try to eat locally sourced fish and game whenever possible. Also had the polar bear shaped license plates (as it was formerly part of the Northwest Territories until 1999), although vehicles are only used within towns as no town in Nunavut can be reached by an all-season road. (These were changed in 2012. There's still a polar bear on it, though.)

Geographic shape: Mainland resembles a moose antler, the two largest islands, Baffin Island and Victoria Island (shared with NWT) are shaped like an upside down dog and bird respectively.

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