Unfortunate Names / Webcomics

• One◊ Hark! A Vagrant strip features a substitute teacher lecturing a class about putting obviously fake names on the register. "'Tits Palmer'? Do you guys think I'm retarded?" The last panel features the students comforting poor, hurt Tits.
• Something*Positive:
  • Mike's son, "Shazam Wil-Wheaton Dowden". According to Mike, "the hyphen is the source of his powers". Mike and the child's mother Tamara had problems with the name — originally it was going to be "Shazam Joss-Whedon Dowden", but Tamara changed it without telling Mike. Mike, who hates Wil Wheaton, was horrified; "I mean, Christ, why not just name my kid 'Hitler-Stalin Pony Raper Dowden'?"
  • The Santa look-alike whom Jason spent some time visiting in the intensive care ward is actually named "Shirley Koklik". In Jason's words: "I'd pity kill you, but if that name's any indication of how your life has been I want you to be around to show me how much worse it can be."
  • Davan himself has some problems with his name.
  • PeeJee's full name is Penelope-Jennifer Shou.
    "Dad, nobody calls me Penny-Jenny anymore, I go by PeeJee."
    "Bah! Why would I name you Penelope-Jennifer if I wasn't going to call you my little Penny-Jenny?"
    "Why would you name me Penny-Jenny and then act shocked that I'm prone to violent outbursts?"
  • Davan's father Fred tries to interest him in the family history by discussing his cousin, a decorated Marine whose name is "Shot", after his alcoholic father's favourite glass.
  "He was a hero over in Vietnam."
  "His name is Shot?"
  "Saved the lives of four men."
  "And he never thought to legally change it?"
  "He did two tours. He might be the most decorated soldier in our family."
  "Let me get this straight. A man named his child after the shot glass, and no-one thought that was a sign that maybe Child Services ought to be involved?"
• Jack:
  • During the arc "Frigid McThunderbones", a B-movie parody storyline, we get this from the hot female detective:
  "Good evening, Sergeant. I'm Detective Smallbush."
  "Nice!"
  "Aidsyphilis Smallbush ... It's Greek."
  "... Not nice..."
  • And a couple of strips later:
    "Boss! Don Donald Donaldson!"
    "That's kind of redundant. Just call me Don."
    "Don 'Don' Donaldson?"
    "Much better!"
• xkcd's Bobby Tables's real name Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;- - has been known to cause problems with his school's databases.
• The eponymous hero of Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name. His full name is Hanna Falk Cross. Hanna clearly isn't a boy's name, and he can't use his middle name because it's conspicuously close to the "f" word.
• A Suicide for Hire client was named "Jeremy Laramie". No, his reasons for seeking death were not connected to his name, sadly. The author's note read "Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental, but my apologies to anyone named 'Jeremy Laramie'; I'm sorry your parents hate you." Prior to that, there was the reindeer client known by the boys as "Codename Rudolph", whose name actually did turn out to be "Rudy". A potential hazard of being a Talking Animal, one assumes.
• Although almost every character in The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob! has a Punny Name of some sort, only Dean Martin (a college dean named Martin) seems aware enough of it to be self-conscious about it. Any joke about him and Jerry Lewis will hit his Berserk Button.
• Crusader Hussein Crusader from Jayden and Crusader, named for his great uncle Saddam (not that Saddam - just that Saddam's dad, apparently).
• In Exploitation Now, the character Bimbo's real first name is Bimbo. To make things worse, she's a sometimes porn actress, and her last name is Moneymaker. Her first name was the result of strong drugs (it was a very difficult labour), and a mother who spoke very little English.
• General Protection Fault
  • General Protection Fault Software. It's lampshaded by Nick during his job interview in the third strip, and Ki breaks down laughing upon hearing it during a flashback to her own job interview.
    Nick: Your company's name is GPF Software, but isn't "GPF" an abbreviation for "General Protection Fault," the most dreaded of Microsoft Windows error messages, from which you can only recover by a complete system shutdown?
    Dwayne: Um... I'm not all that creative...
    Nick: I personally thought it was a brilliant bit of computer geek humor, sir...
  • Not to mention the fact that their marketing director, Trudy Trueheart, was born Moonbeam Gertrude Glowerhausen (Hippie parents).
  • And one of their staff members, Sharon, pointed out that you had to have a sense of humor when growing up in the 80s when your name is S. Murphy.
• Chainsawsuit introduced a new character whose name was so awful that the (In-Universe) reaction got him written out in the very next strip. His name: Jet Wiggledick. He protests that it isn't his real name—his real first name is Jeb.
• Being set in England, The Wretched Ones protagonist John Thomas has a very unfortunate full name. His username on an MMO is mynameisalreadyasexjoke.
• From Gunnerkrigg Court: "George Parley" is a perfectly ordinary and non-embarrassing name... unless you're a girl. Her parents weren't trying to be cruel; her dad meant to show off his psychic skills by filling out her birth certificate before she was born. He got everything right except her gender.
• The Last Days of FOXHOUND has the unfortunately-named town of Buttfuck, Tennessee. It's supposedly pronounced "Byoot-Fick" (but they ain't foolin' nobody).
• The Hero Association in One-Punch Man assigns hero names to its members, often to their chagrin. Saitama notably doesn't like being referred to as 'Caped Baldy', and he even joined a group of heroes who were similarly dissatisfied with their names (Red Nose, Drunkard, Toupee Warrior, Dr. Grumpy Pervert, and The Great Degenerate) who are petitioning to have their hero names changed.
• Tiffany Susan Pompoms of El Goonish Shive always goes by her middle name, because she considers her actual first- and last-name to be too "perky and upbeat" for her cynical, sardonic personality. (Ironically, it's been made quite clear that if it wasn't for ONE traumatic childhood event, she would've wound up fitting her name just perfectly.) This comes up when Nanase spontaneously describes Diane, who is smart, looks almost identical to Susan, and is actually a cheerleader, as having a "Sherlock Pompoms" thing going for her only to be reminded of Susan's last name.
• The Manor's Prize: Characters cannot choose which Tarot card they must use as an alias. This leads to The Fool being rather unhappy about his name. The Hanged Man, a very feminine and outgoing woman, asks to be called "The Hanged Woman" but "The Hanged Man" is the name that sticks. The host's alias, Death, could be interpreted this way also.

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