This troper was born onto this messed-up mudball on November 6, 1972. He is an aspiring professional poker player, a metal-head, a former Libertarian turned anarcho-capitalist, a person who likes anime but isn't a full-blown otaku, and many other things that will be elaborated below.
Tropes applicable to me include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:
- Angrish: Often happens when I'm doing badly at one video game or another.
- Ave Machina, Living Forever Is Awesome: Transhumanism FTW, baby! If I were to gain the ability to physically enter a fictional world a la Last Action Hero or The Purple Rose of Cairo, my first choice would easily be the world of Ghost in the Shell. Having an artificial body that has all the sensory capability of an organic one and then some, that has a flawless long-term memory, that never ages, that can be built to practically any specifications I want, and that, if it does get irreparably damaged, can be easily replaced? What the hell isn't there to love? Being able to practice close-quarters combat with The Major would be merely the proverbial icing on the cake.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: If I'd only done my homework consistently in high school, I'd have been a lock for class valedictorian. As it was, though, since I already did a more than adequate job of learning the subject matter in the classroom itself, homework was seen as pointlessly boring. That situation didn't stop my teachers from counting my lack of homework against me, though, and I wound up with a measly C+ average.
- Chaotic Neutral: I took four different online D&D alignment tests on different occasions. The results were: strongly Chaotic Good (once), strongly Chaotic Neutral (once), and Chaotic Neutral with some Evil tendencies (twice). I chalk the latter up to yet another example of Values Dissonance. Whereas the standard D&D alignment system assumes "altruism = good, selfishness = evil", I, like certain authors, am not afraid to admit that selfishness not only isn't always wrong, but is often right. Yes, I often do good things for others, but I always keep in mind that seeing other people happy makes ME feel good (this is especially true during sex, where about 90% of my pleasure is gained from making sure my partner/s is/are being pleased as much as they can tolerate).
- Deadpan Snarker
- Discontinuity: There is not, and never was, any such place as Yberia. Also, regarding the Final Fantasy franchise, there's no such game as Mystic Quest.
- Doing It for the Art: This will be the case for any form of entertainment I ever get published, regardless of the medium on which it is delivered.
- Evil Laugh: Get to know me better, and I might just let you hear it one day.
- Going Commando: I haven't worn underwear of any kind for the last 25 years or so.
- No Blood Ties: The fact that I see this trope as a good thing, and most of the rest of the world doesn't, is the main reason why I am quite happily childless.
- Not a Morning Person: My day sometimes ends at around 06:00 when there's nothing important on my agenda the following afternooon.
- Poster-Gallery Bedroom: To a lesser degree, the rest of my apartment qualifies as well. The posters and wall scrolls adorning the walls cover a variety of western cartoons, movies, anime, and video games spanning the last two decades.
- Proud to Be a Geek
- Pungeon Master: True on a good day, once I really get rolling.
- Raised by Grandparents: This was true for the first 12 and a half years of my life, after which I moved across the country to live with my mother and step-father.
- Special Snowflake Syndrome: My RPG characters have a tendency to fall into this category. Hell, in D&D Edition 3.5, pretty much my sole reason for playing a human is for the bonus feat and bonus skill points. In fact, when 3rd Edition was initially released, the very first character I created was a dwarf wizard, for no other reason than that the rules finally allowed it.
- The Gods Must Be Lazy: I've been an atheist, with some deistic leanings, for pretty much my whole life, despite not knowing until sometime in my early twenties that the term "deism" even existed. In my opinion, it's one thing to believe that the universe (or, at the very least, the staggering array of lifeforms on this planet) may have been created by an intelligent being. On the other hand, believing that said being would care even one-tenth as much about us puny humans as various religions proclaimwhat we eat, what clothing we wear (if any), on what days we work, with whom we have sex, and so onis (again, in my opinion) just plain silly.
- Twofer Token Minority: Threefer, actually. Bisexual, non-theistic, and mildly (but noticeably) physically disabled.
- Values Dissonance: And friggin' how! Sometimes, it even wanders into full-on Blue and Orange Morality.
Tropes that I subvert on a regular basis include, but are not necessarily limited to, the following:
- Acrofatic: I stand 5 feet, 8 inches tall and weigh (at the time of this edit) about 270 pounds. I can walk, and during an urgent situation, I can walk fast, but due to certain physical issues that I've dealt with since birth, that's about the full extent of my athletic ability. On the brighter side, I weigh about 50 pounds less than I used to, and I intend to lose enough weight over the course of the next year or two that I can drop this trope entirely.
- Basement-Dweller: You might have expected otherwise from reading many of the other tropes listed here, but I've been on my own since Bill Clinton was still a governor.
- Covert Pervert: Ain't nothin' covert about it, baby. *wicked grin*
- Rage Quit: Subverted considerably more often than not.
- Sibling Rivalry: Averted, since I have no siblings.
Then, there are other tropes of a specific category, numerous enough to warrant their own respective sections on this page:
- Big Eater: I like food, and it typically likes me.
- Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: What most Americans outside of Texas call "hot", I call "mild". What *I* call "hot", they call "friggin' lethal".
- Drink Order: Depends on the nature of the drink.
- (Soft Drinks) Mountain Dew if that's available; otherwise, root beer.
- (Beer) Stout, preferably Guinness. Sorry, fellow Americans, but if one can pour it into a clean, clear glass, and still see anything through the glass, it DOES NOT truly qualify as beer.
- (Harder Stuff) Jack Daniel's, please, and make it a double.
- (Gargle Blaster) Not my usual fare, but I'm not averse to trying one, either.
- Must Have Caffeine: Ain't that the goddamn truth.
- Real Men Eat Meat: Vegetarians, I respect your right to live your lives as you see fit. That having been said, vegetarianism is something of a turn-off for me. Not a severe turn-off, but a turn-off just the same. My cave-dwelling ancestors did NOT battle their way to the top of this planet's food chain so that I could
live onsubsist on tofu and sprouts, thankyouverymuch.
- Stock "Yuck!": Subverted with fruit cake (which I like), blue cheese (I'd eat at least a half-pound every week if it weren't so hideously expensive), and especially anchovies (can't get enough of 'em on pizza, if I'm fortunate enough to be ordering pizza from somewhere that even has 'em). Played straight with cream cheese (the one and only kind of cheese I have never really liked), and especially diet soda and decaf coffee (without the caffeine in either beverage, and without the sugar in the soda, what's the damn point?).
- Aroused by Their Voice: Several of my long-distance acquaintances have had this happen to them when we've chatted on the phone.
- Bi the Way: On the Kinsey Scale, I'm somewhere around 2.
- Brains and Bondage: I'm mostly a top, but I'll gladly switch roles for/with the right woman.
- Ethical Slut: The word "open" in "open relationship" does not apply solely to one's bedroom door. Communication and honesty are essential even in monogamous relationships. When polyamory and/or swinging comes into play, the need for such things increases exponentially.
- Everyone Is Bi, Free-Love Future: If I were approached by a genie, or some other entity with the power to grant wishes on a godlike level, and informed that "you can choose one of these two tropes to immediately and permanently apply to the entire human race, but ONLY one", I would have a serious dilemma on my hands.
- Fidelity Test: On the off chance I spring one of these on someone, it'll be very much inverted. Keeping your pants/skirt/etc. on = automatic failure.
- Harem Seeker: My ideal poly relationship would consist of: myself, one other man, and two women as long-term partners. One-night stands with other people, while they wouldn't exactly be a regular event, wouldn't be rejected out of hand, either. Naturally, all four of us would be bi, in order to avoid falling into Incompatible Orientation. Yeah, I know it's not very likely, but that's why I used the word "ideal".
- Hell-Bent for Leather: A beautiful woman clad in leather and/or latex is major Fetish Fuel for me. Motorcycle, while a nice addition, is purely optional.
- Hot Amazon: The ability of a woman to kick ass (including mine) in a fight is a significant turn-on for me. Faced with a choice of celebrity PSL (not that I enjoy having to choose), you can have your Christina Aguileras, Pamela Andersons, and Stacy Kieblers, Mr. Average Guy. I'll gladly take a Mia St. John, Michelle Yeoh, or Gina Carano, and would gladly have hopped into the sack with Chyna prior to her untimely death in May of 2016. Hell, given her desire to do practically all her stunt-work herself, Jennifer Garner would also qualify.
- Lad-ette: Not a requirement for a wife/girlfriend of mine, but it's a significant bonus.
- My Girl Is a Slut: Why would I ever want to turn a whore into a housewife? With the money she makes on her back, we could easily afford to hire a full-time housekeeper instead.
- Polyamory: Unlike the other turn-ons and turn-offs I mention on this page, this one is as mandatory as it gets. (BTW, before anyone asks...yes, I have given monogamy a fair try. Definitely not my thing. I'm happy for those people for whom it legitimately is their thing, but I really wish more people would take the time to figure that out for themselves, as opposed to blindly assuming that monogamy is the only right choice for any sane person who never was a hippie.)
- Spurned into Suicide: This once nearly happened to me. I'll elaborate sometime in the future.
Anime and Manga
- Ghost in the Shell: Major Motoko Kusanagi (the fact that she's voiced by Mary Elizabeth McGlynn in the English dub doesn't hurt)
- The Sandman: I can't be the only one who'd love to have a near-Death experience.
- X-Men: Emma Frost, Gambit (he and his native cuisine are both hot as hell, thankyouverymuch), Mystique (btw, did you know that Rebecca Romijn, who played Mystique in the movies, was also born on 6 Nov 1972?), Magneto (depends on who voices him)
- Doro Pesch, Tarja Turunen: I've already mentioned these two on the relevant troper tales page.
- Former Arch-Enemy lead vocalist, Angela Gossow. For a prime example of Singing Voice Dissonance, click here. One can't help but wonder whether she exhibits that same vocal dissonance in the bedroom. On the down side (in my opinion, of course), Angela happens to be a vegetarian.
Pretty much any character played by any of the following people qualifies for a spot here:
- Cate Blanchett: I'm not the one on the PSL Film Troper Tales page who described Cate as "sex incarnate", but I fully agree with that troper's assessment. Galadriel? Mmmm, yes. Elizabeth I, the "Virgin Queen"? Well, in the immortal words of a certain Clancy Brown character, "Ahhh, not for much longer!" Ditto for the "Maid" part of "Maid Marion".
- The "sex incarnate" troper would be me, and there are no words for how grateful I am that someone else recognizes this. Maid Marion? Not bloody likely once I get my hands on her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to retreat to my corner.
- Summer Glau: I, too, shall be in my bunk, where I wait for her to terminate me whenever she wants.
- Final Fantasy: Cecil Harvey, Dark Knight or Paladin version (4); Celes Chere (6); Sephiroth (7); Edea Kramer (8); Lulu, Rikku (X); Rikku, Paine (X-2); Fran (12); Fang (13)
- Fire Emblem: Lucius (BTW, if someone could point me toward some Lucius/Bridget action, I would be eternally grateful).
- Guilty Gear: Yes. I, too, am
gayshota for Bridget. (Yes, I know the meme says "gay", but I'm already bi, and no man is worth me giving up women.)
- Metal Gear Solid: Solid Snake, naturally. Quiet also more than qualifies, especially since the woman who played her not only did her motion-capture work, but is also her voice actress and sang her leitmotif.
- Metroid: Samus Aran, with or without her armor.
- Mortal Kombat: Sheeva. Mmmm, such tall, muscular, long-haired, four-armed yumminess, complete with "Trill spots".
- Portal: GLaDOS, of all things. Take another listen to her voice after her morality core is destroyed. At that point, it sounds quite sexy...well, in a warped, psychotic sort of way. (Of course, the fact that she's voiced by Ellen McLain doesn't hurt.)
- Street Fighter: British bombshell Cammy White certainly qualifies, as does Chun-Li with her thunder thighs. However, there are also a couple characters on the
malenon-female side of the roster who also do it for me. First is the enigma known only as Q, from Third Strike. Am I the only troper on this site who'd like to get a closer look at whatever's beneath its coat and metal mask? Then, there's the awesome force that is Dan Hibiki. Mmmm. Yes, sifu Hibiki. Please, show me your Strongest Style in all its glory.
- Looking for Group: Three words: Pella, Pella, Pella!
- Questionable Content: Ms. Reed, and I'll have her before the beginning of this "I need to settle down" bullshit of hers, back when she had a respectably robust sex life. (See "My Girl Is A Slut" above.)
- Æon Flux: Not only is the title character smokin' hot, but her lover/arch-nemesis, Trevor Goodchild, ain't so bad, either.
- The Legend of Korra: Kuvira, naturally. The fact that her voice is that of the lovely Zelda Williams doesn't hurt.
- Teen Titans:
- Okay, let me say it now, just for the record: Me wikie Waven! She is much, much hotter than the original comic-book version of her (also, the fact that she's voiced by Tara Strong doesn't hurt). Also, unlike Starfire, she has just enough "bad girl" within her to make her even more desirable. What's that, Raven? Your evil, nasty, demonic father is making your life as much of a hell as the place he calls home? I shall keep you safe from all that, if you'll just step into my arms for a century or two.
- Definitely not Starfire. Robin, you can keep her. Blackfire, on the other hand...she and I could shoot off star-bolts together whenever she sees fit.
- Speaking of Robin, mmmmm, yes. Could he possibly be any more adorable, I ask you?! He has just enough inner turmoil (probably picked it up from his old mentor) to keep him out of "Good Is Boring" and keep him into "Pure yummy". Then there was that episode where Starfire got sent into the future. I can certainly see why Robin's future self produces so much squee from his female fans. Stupid sexy Nightwing.
- You've seen "Brains And Bondage" listed in a previous folder on my page, and you've seen "Evil Is Sexy" in this folder. I wouldn't normally take the submissive role with another man, but I'd strongly consider making an exception for Slade "Deathstroke" Wilson. (The fact that he's voiced by Ron Perlman certainly doesn't hurt.)
I have made the following predictions on their respective relevant WMG pages:
- TRON: Legacy: In the third Tron film, Zuse and/or Gem will not only have survived the destruction of the End Of Line club, but will have made a Heel-Face Turn. (predicted on 8 Oct 2011) (busted on 29 May 2015 — Word of God says there won't be a third movie)
- Questionable Content: Marigold having sex with Dale in 14 Feb 2014's comic will result in Marigold becoming pregnant. (predicted on 15 Feb 2014) (busted on 26 Feb 2014)
- The Meek: Soli is either Alamand's mother or aunt. (predicted on 19 Jun 2015)
- Cobra Kai: Johnny will cross paths with Ali when he attends the funeral of one (or both) of her parents, and while talking with her there, will finally find closure for the loss of their previous relationship. (predicted on 11 May 2018)