On the one hand, if the thought of owning your own giant robot hasn't already sold you, we might as well not go on.
On the other hand, if it has, we should still let you know what options we have.
- Teen Model - Dads, have you got an irresponsible, whiny teenage son who constantly runs away from his problems? Want to instill manly spirit and give him a gift that he will remember forever? Get some family time together, and teach him responsibility with our ever-popular teen models! Insurance is required in certain states to own and operate a Humongous Mecha. Pilots must be between the ages of Fourteen and Eighteen. Warning; Teen Model may or may not be appropriate for emotionally unstable teens with recently deceased mothers.)
- La Resistor - Evil empire giving you the blues? Tired of licking the boots of your oppressors? Have you ever thought, "Gee, these snooty imperialists have really got my goat but I what can I do about it?" Well, we at Trope Co. have always sympathized with revolutionaries* which is why we are now introducing La Resistor! Nothing spells out cultural and political emancipation quite like a walking death machine strapped with enough explosives to occupy Norway! Never piloted a Mecha before? No Problem! We make it easy, with our patented training program, The Redshirt's Guide to Mecha, that will ensure your survival for at least three battles! (Warning: La Resistor may not be capable of handling advanced enemy mechs. Exercise caution when piloting La Resistor to ensure that your glorious revolution does not haplessly murder innocent bystanders. Trope Co. accepts Cash, Check, or controlling interest and exclusive trade rights with your new regime.)
* Yes, we do. People who run empires are often major cheapskates who make their own.
- Project X-666 "Desolation" - Ever wanted to start a career in supervillainy? Already an established Big Bad, but goody two-shoes constantly ruining your plans? Never again with the new Desolation model, specially for villains! Comes in bloodred, black and other color variations. Spikes of Villainy and glowing red, yellow, orange and other eyes optional. Comes equipped with a superweapon arsenal guaranteed to raze cities to the ground and blow any resistance away. Customizable with diverse dirty tricks such as concealed EMP blasters to stop those pesky heroes' mechas dead in their tracks - after all, as we know, who needs honor when you can have efficiency? And if that happens to not be enough, Desolation sports both a handy escape device and a self-destruct system, to use depending on your current mood.