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Trope Co / Decontamination Chamber

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Its The Future. Everyone has some fancy pants high-tech voice-operated television or a knife that toasts bread as you slice it or a food processor that can turn a pill and a drop of water into a large meatza with extra pepperoni. But then one day you try and use the processor to fix guacamole and it leaves the entire kitchen caked head to toe in green gruel. Great. Your hair is completely full of overripe avocado and you're expecting guests! You have a kitchen to clean, but you can leave your Robot Maid to take care of it. It is best to get yourself clean first, but how are you going to do that when water became a hazard after the bombs fell and you only have five minutes before company arrives?

Introducing the new Trope Co.® Voice-Keyed Decontamination Chamber™ of the Future! Why suffer the indignities of scrubbing off unsanitary germs and bacteria in private and hard to reach places with nothing accomplished after hours of wasted water when the Decontamination Chamber™ can accomplish the improbable in mere seconds? Using the same implausibly precise laser technology used to fake the moon landing, the head of the shower emits a low-grade electromagnetic radiation amplified by the crystalline silicon within the confines of the Voice-Keyed Decontamination Chamber™, completely wiping all grime, stains and foreign contaminants from existence.

WARNING: May lead to hairloss, nausea, momentary blindness, permanent blindness, diarrhea, constipation, loss of life, impotence, omnipotence, loss of pregnancy, impregnantion, heavy bleeding, severe clotting, severe headaches, severe irritation of the skin and bones, unexplained mutant ice-powers, involuntary interdimensional teleportation, an Overly Long Gag on a trope page and utter destruction of all inorganic property within the confines of your bathroom. Do not wear any watches, jewelry or prosthetic joints within the Voice-Keyed Decontamination Chamber™. Some Animals Were Harmed in the making of this product. Trope Co.® is not responsible to any and all harm that occurs to the customers or household-pets of customers that have purchased the Trope Co.® Voice-Keyed Decontamination Chamber™.