From the makers of Animalistic Abomination and The Beautiful Elite comes the future in a long line of Trope Co.®-brand mythical creatures ready for production and distribution into your new Fantasy Land. Introducing Trope Co.'s® All Trolls Are Different!
All Trope Co.® Trolls come in one in a variety of variations for a diverse collection.
- Norwegian Trolls: Spawned from the dismembered feet of Ymir, the Norse personification of Primordial Chaos, these trolls form smallish communities in caves and other out of the way places. Ill-tempered, they often react with hostility towards any human that ventures into their territory, and may even make raids onto human settlements that disrupt their tranquility.
- Danish Trolls: Tiny, genital less, with big ears, big eyes and technicolor hair that poofs out. Discovered by woodcutter Thomas Dam, these trolls are all about positivity and hugs. It is said that if one were to eat one of these little balls of sunshine, one could feel pure happiness.
- Middle-Earth Trolls: Created by the Dark Lord Morgoth to bolster his armies, many of the trolls have since died out, now wandering the wastes in forests, caves, mountains and other terrain. Bubbling and stupid, they are ill-tempered but easily fooled, one more recent example being the defeat of a mountain troll at the hands of three amateur spell-casters.
- American Trolls: Generally pacifistic (except when they arent), these are trolls that were brought in via emigration from Europe. A blanket term for any breed of troll that has settled in the Americas, American trolls settle around Power Crystals that provide life-blood and magical enhancement to them. Should anything happen to these Power Crystals, they will migrant to the nearest one and establish new lives for themselves there.
- Cheesebridge Trolls: Found in the sewers of Cheesebridge, England, this breed of trolls (referred to locally as "Boxtrolls" for their use of card-board boxes as make-shift clothes) are known to scour the streets at night, stealing garbage and other objects where they tinker and create their own make-shift technology from the rubbish. Because of this, some believe that they are more closely related to the Gremlin than other breeds of trolls.
- Japanese Troll: Also known as Oni, or the "Japanese Drinking Ogre", these trolls are famous for their massive iron clubs. Having been feared and worshipped by the humans that live there, these trolls have forgone any attempt at camouflaging, their skin having since become either a bright red or blue. They primarily feast on other predators (most commonly tigers) and create makeshift clothes form their pelts. They are famous for their love of alcoholic beverages, and will volunteer to be protectors to those who provide an offering of rice wine to them.
- Azerothian Trolls: Among the oldest races of the world of Azeroth, these trolls have many varieties — the most famous being the jungle trolls led by Vol'jin — but the consistent traits among them are: they have prominent tusks (especially the males), have an affinity for Hollywood Voodoo, and speak with an accent that sounds either Jamaican or Cuban.
- Internet Trolls: Having been introduced to the wonders of modern technology, this lone sect of troll have since developed nasty habits and a sadistic streak that have rendered them unapproachable for anyone, be they human or any other breed of troll. If anyone encounters this breed of troll, please consult your G.I.F.T. Awareness Pamphlet or call 555-555-TROPECO for more information.
WARNING: Please keep Trope Co.® All Trolls Are Different out of direct sunlight. Failure to adhere to this will result in instant petrification. All warranties that apply to Trope Co.® All Trolls Are Different will be voided should this occur.