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Too Dumb To Live / Pro Wrestling

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  • Bobby Heenan, on many occasions, completely forgot that he was "The Brain" and foolishly would try to attack Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and ... most foolishly André the Giant. Every time, Heenan should have known he would be in for a severe beating, but yet ... .
  • On the May 25, 1998 episode of WCW Monday Nitro, WCW United States Heavyweight Champion Goldberg defended the title against Jobber Johnny Attitude, who came out for the match with a bald head and even imitated Goldberg's mannerisms. The match itself lasted 1:09. If you've never heard of Johnny Attitude, there's a reason. In fact, you can actually see the look on the referee's face that Johnny's gonna get a whupping.
  • Happened A LOT in ECW
    • At ECW's December 5, 1998 show (aired on December 9), held at the Burt Flickinger Center in Buffalo, NY, Lance Storm (w/"Tammy Lynn Bytch" Dawn Marie) was scheduled to face Mikey Whipwreck. Storm walked to the ring carrying a cassette box for Hitman Hart: Wrestling With Shadows, saying that he wasn't going to let Paul Heyman "screw" him like that, and left. Mikey got on the mic and issued a challenge to wrestle anyone. Rod Price walked out and accepted. Mikey chickened out, saying that he wanted to wrestle, but that Price doesn't wrestle, he fights, and left. Price got on the mic and issued a challenge to anyone who "wants a damn fight!" Cue "Natural Born Killaz," AND HERE COMES NEW JACK!. Jack proceeded to Squash Price in his usual style in about two minutes, finishing with the guitar shot off the top. Joey Styles even said, "In ECW, you do not throw out open challenges."
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    • On the September 16, 2000 ECW Hardcore TV, the Musketeer threw out an open challenge to anyone...and "The Female Fighting Phenom" Jazz ran in and kicked his ass in 49 seconds. After the match, Joey Styles mocked him by saying, "Good night, d'Artagnan!"
    • Eric Kulas, victim of the infamous "Mass Transit Incident". Showing up to an ECW house show where they were short a wrestler, Kulas told promoter Paul Heyman that he was twenty-three years old, and had been trained by Killer Kowalski. In actuality, Kulas was seventeen years old and had not been trained to wrestle at all. Promptly finding himself subbing in for the no-showing Axl Rotten as "Mass Transit", a Ralph Kramden-esque bus driver gimmick, he was paired with D-Von Dudley. Unfortunately, they were being booked in a hardcore Squash Match against The Gangstas, Mustafa Saed and New Jack. New Jack, for those who aren't aware, is an actual sadistic sociopath with absolutely no regard for the health and safety of anyone who he's working with, or considering his balcony dives, possibly even his own. Kulas didn't improve matters by copping an attitude towards the actual wrestlers at the show, talking big like he was going to take charge of the match and disrespecting people. Even worse, having already annoyed New Jack with his attitude, Kulas was dumb enough to actually ask New Jack to blade him during the match, because he'd never done it himself. New Jack, as expected, intentionally bladed Kulas too deep with a scalpel, severing two arteries in his forehead, sending blood spraying across the ring and causing Kulas to immediately pass out, while his father at ringside screamed "Ring the fucking bell. He's seventeen!". Kulas' father gets an honorable mention here for actually backing up his son's lies about his age to Heyman, apparently under the impression that his son was signing up to pick flowers and braid them into wreaths. There was a massive scandal over the incident and, along with Raven's Nest crucifying The Sandman at ECW High Incident on October 26th, nearly killed ECW's chances of getting on PPV. Once Kulas' sheer stupidity in getting himself into the situation came out, New Jack was cleared of assault charges and their civil case against him was dismissed.
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    • Evil ECW referee Bill Alfonso banned 911 from using the Chokeslam for a time in 1995. During the 2 out of 3 Falls Double Dog-Collar ECW World Tag Team Champions Raven and Stevie Richards vs. The Pit Bulls Match at ECW Gangstas Paradise, September 16, 1995, Raven sent PB#2 through two tables, which was enough to get him stretchered to the back. Tommy Dreamer walked to the ring, put a collar on his neck, low-blowed Raven, hit him with a DDT and pinned him. Dreamer and PB#1 celebrated Dreamer finally scoring a pin on Raven, and ring announcer Bob Artese was unsure whether to announce The Pit Bulls or PB#1/Dreamer as the new Champs. Alfonso came out saying that he allowed 2 out of 3 Falls, which wasn't in the contract and that the match was over because The Pit Bulls couldn't continue, which meant that the Pit Bulls had to split up as a team. ECW Commissioner Tod Gordon confronted Alfonso, saying the match is over when he says it's over. Big Dick Dudley, then a member of Raven's Nest, made his way to the ring on crutches. Tod restarted the match, and Fonzie knocked him down. Big Dick Dudley entered the ring, Chokeslammed Dreamer, and left. Alfonso said, "I'm allowing the Chokeslam tonight, because Tommy Dreamer, you're dreaming baby, you never pinned Raven. The Chokeslam is on!" Cue The Edgar Winter Group's "Frankenstein," and heeeere's 911. Fonzie protests, but, 911 finally gets his hands on Alfonso and FINALLY Chokeslams him.note 
  • Heath Slater got this a lot in a 2012 angle where he kept bragging over his greatness and how he could beat anyone. Cue a litanty of legends from Sid to Vader to Rikishi to DDP, every one of whom left Heath in ruins.
    • Slater joined his 3MB partners Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal in calling out The Shield (JBL: "They've lost their ever-loving minds.") Dumb as that was, they topped it when Brock Lesnar came out and proceeded to destroy all three of them.
    • Notably subverted when Slater in 2016 challenged Brock, arguing he needed to prove himself to land a regular job. Slater openly acknowledged "you think I want to face Brock Lesnar? Everyone in this arena knows he's gonna whup my ass!" Rather, he had to for his family. While he was crushed, Slater got the nod from Paul Heyman for actually having the guts to challenge Brock and not back down.
  • On a more mundane note, those Jobbers who tried to slam or shoulderblock Kamala, Earthquake, Vader, etc.
  • Real Life case: Teddy Hart, an infamous Spot Monkey notorious for refusing to follow the script and doing insane high-flying moves just to show off. Doing these moves forces the other wrestlers to catch him unprepared, nearly getting everyone injured or killed. This blatant disregard for everyone's safety plus Teddy's primadonna attitude, have led him to be fired and blacklisted from several promotions, including WWE, TNA, and ROH (where the stunt took place) — which is a pity, because he does have a lot of talent, but until he grows a brain he isn't going anywhere.
  • Bo Dallas. A delusional motivational speaker who interrupts other wrestlers and tells them to "Bo-lieve!" — okay, fine, it's WWE. When he starts doing it to former World Champions and others on a similar level, you think he's either ballsy or a little lacking in self-preservation. When you do it to Brock Lesnar? As JBL says, he's "the dumbest man on the planet".
  • Lodi faced Goldberg on the March 16, 1998 WCW Monday Nitro and one of the signs he had with him read "GOLDBERG IS A MEATHEAD." He actually stood behind the referee and jumped up and down while holding the sign. The ref moved out of the way, Goldberg grabbed the sign and you can probably guess the rest.
  • Happens in situations involving The Undertaker a lot.
    • In early 2003 WWE, Big Show had been setting up crates in the ring week after week on SmackDown! for The Undertaker. On the February 6th episode, Taker opened the crate and out came Brother Love, Taker's original manager. BL tried to get Taker to "remember the lessons of love" and to get him to see Big Show's side of things. Taker, complete with a "thumbs down" of disgust, Tombstoned BL instead.
    • Steven Richards once offered The Undertaker membership in Right To Censor. Taker told him, "I think you, the Right to Censor, and all the politicians who support you, suck" and gave him The Last Ride for his efforts.
    • During Taker's search to figure out who was stalking his then-wife Sara, he confronted Kurt Angle on the June 11, 2001 Raw. Angle said that he was sorry that "some maniac" was stalking Taker's wife, and added, "First of all, I met your wife once - I didn't even like her! I didn't even find her attractive!" Taker punched Angle and gave him the Last Ride.
  • At the inaugural SummerSlam event, the Honky Tonk Man had no opponent because his intended adversary, Brutus Beefcake, had been injured. So, Honky Tonk Man demanded someone to come out and wrestle him for his Intercontinental Championship. The Ultimate Warrior promptly obliged and destroyed Honky Tonk Man, ending his reign as champion.

Alternative Title(s): Professional Wrestling


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