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The Reason You Suck Speech / The Mysterious Mr. Enter

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With so many episodes The Mysterious Mr. Enter had to sit through that he deems atrocious, it's not surprising that he has at least one scathing speech to blurt out.

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    Spongebob Squarepants 
Although he has given props to Spongebob Squarepants, more often than not, Spongebob was the target of his ire in his earlier reviews that gained him attention.

  • He gives one to SpongeBob in the middle of his first review of "One Coarse Meal".
    SpongeBob: Sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature.
    Mr. Enter: Good nature? SpongeBob, can we talk, just for a minute? Does ripping off someone's toenail fly in the face of your good nature? Does letting your pet be tormented by a monster fly in the face of your good nature? Does getting Squidward kicked out of the Cephalopod Lodge and upstaging him at the choir, for absolutely no reason at all, fly in the face of your good nature? How about invading his house and stealing his television show? SpongeBob, you have no good nature. Satan asks you for pointers. "Gone" is one of my favorite episodes because you are the living embodiment of evil. Just so we're clear, SpongeBob, the only good thing about "The Splinter" was that all of that was happening to you.
  • His closing of his review of "Stuck in the Wringer"
    Mr. Enter: (accompanied by Promise -- Reprise) Isn't it great that they're trying to teach kids such...valuable lessons in life? Alright you three—what's the word I'm looking for? Dipshits? No, that word is too good for you. Assholes? No that's not right. Fuckers? No, that's not right either. I'm just gonna call you three excuses for humanity until I find a description that verbally fits your crude, idiotic, and juvenile talentless asses! What, reality do you three live in?? I really want to know, I'm genuinely curious. In this reality, it's conventional wisdom that it takes an adult to write for children. What am I saying, that's not fair, children would make better writers than you three! Hell, infants would! My dog would! You mindless, degenerate hacks! You three may want to thank your "lucky stars" every second of every day that whatever the fuck you sold your souls to was stupid enough to give you your jobs. Because if you lose your job writing this trite shit, you'll most likely never work again. Not on television, but in any job. I don't know anyone who would lower themselves so substantially to even reluctantly want your demented, poisoned minds around. Just leave us all alone, and go back to the fucking sludge you came from.
  • His Top 10 Worst Patrick's a Prick episodes list has three.
  • He gives another one to the SpongeBob writers while reviewing "Demolition Doofus", calling them sick not just for coming up with the idea and Mrs. Puff trying to kill SpongeBob, but actually making it.
    Mrs. Puff: Why are you still ALIIIIIIIVE?!?!?!?!
    Mr. Enter: Not "Why are you still unhurt," not "Why are you still standing," it's "Why are you still alive." Th-There's no hope. Th-There really is no hope for these insane writers. Not just to come up with this kind of idea, but to go through with it and do it so thoroughly. That's probably my biggest problem here: how thoroughly they're committed to this stupid, stupid idea. Everyone keeps telling me this is a kids show. Who do the writers think they're writing for?! 'Cause it's not for children! It better not be for children! This is more than a messy plot line or inconstant characterization. Hell, it's not just the pure sadism expressed in countless other episodes!
  • A massive and scathing one is given to Casey Alexander in his infamous original "Pet Sitter Pat" review.
    "I love it how Casey Alexander talks like he's a big-shot with mountains of skill and experience, when all's he's ever done is Spongebob from season 4 onward, and Uncle Grandpa. Casey, you're not an artist. I know we live in the self-esteem generation, but you're not an artist. You don't make art! You make crap! You have always made crap! (clip of "Sand Castles in the Sand") The few miracles that just so happen to have your name in the credits don't change that! You have no talent, stop acting like you do, and maybe have have the slightest inkling of respect for you."

     Family Guy 
Unlike with Spongebob Squarepants, if Mr Enter has something to say about Family Guy, it's never positive.

  • His review of "Seahorse Seashell Party" has Mr. Enter calling out on the show for saying that you should stay in an abusive relationship for the abuser's benefit.
    "The first thing that I want to say, and I truly do mean it this time is... fuck you. Fuck you to hell and back YOU INSENSITIVE, IMMATURE MORONS! You are suggesting that people who are being abused should stay in abusive relationships for their abusers' benefit. And this isn't played for laughs like Plankton's suicide attempt. This is dead straight. It's the moral of the episode. It is NOT noble to take in someone else's shit and abuse. Yes, it takes a strong person to live in an abusive relationship, but it takes a stronger person to get out of it. If you're in an abusive relationship, then the best thing you could do is to get out of it. Tell someone; the authorities, your teacher, anyone. What about them and their benefit. Fuck them and their benefit. If someone is hurting you in such a way, they don't deserve to be a part of your life and never did in the first place. The only thing they deserve to be is a distant memory. But Family Guy, you would know that, wouldn't you? Because your very next episode was all about how domestic abuse was bad for everyone involved. I guess unless it's involving your Butt-Monkey, right? Making an episode like that isn't covering your ass, it's making you a hypocrite."
  • His review of "Herpe the Love Sore" has Mr. Enter delivering an absolutely brutal reprimanding to the show for depicting a group of jerkasses as being allowed to get away with their actions and getting paraded around like gods just for being American soldiers, and misusing satire for the sake of making those implications.
    "Why am I willing to tackle this and not something else? For one, Family Guy has tackled an issue so poorly, so tactless, so disrespectful, that almost anything I say about it won't be misconstrued. Let's start out with the obvious: it's not funny. Not in the slightest. Nothing about this episode is funny. Nothing about any of the Family Guy episodes I've reviewed are funny. That's always tossed my way whenever I try to cut through the bullshit here, but it's not funny. And satire is supposed to be funny. This was supposed to be satirical. I mean, that's what Family Guy is supposed to do, right? I mean, every time they tackle a serious issue and screw it up, it's satire, right? Just wait till I get to "Screams of Silence". No, really. They've handed me the guillotine to this excuse on a silver platter with that particular episode. If "Fresh Heir" is meant to be funny, "Screams of Silence" is meant to be funny. If "Seahorse Seashell Party" is meant to be funny, "Screams of Silence" is meant to be funny. If this is meant to be funny, "Screams of Silence" is meant to be funny. But, let's talk about the satire here; it's some of the most misdirected I've ever seen! What they're trying to satirize, I think, is that soldiers do horrendous things and get away with it. Do you think anyone condones their actions? On the base, at home, whatever. When people hear of soldiers going psycho, they're condemned beyond all belief. Even the biggest supporters of the military condemn them beyond all belief, if anything, because assholes like this make the military look bad. People who try to be assholes, and use being in the military to get away with being assholes, are still assholes! People will think that they're assholes! This doesn't change because they're in the military! It doesn't! You see, satire is hard because you need to completely and correctly understand an issue before you make fun of it. Family Guy doesn't. It's really tough to be funny with subjects like this, I'll admit it, but that's why you have to try your damnedest! When people celebrate the military, they're not celebrating assholes, and they're definitely not celebrating soldiers for the pure fact that they're soldiers. They're celebrating them because they risk their lives to protect their freedoms, not because they're getting involved in bar fights! And, no, at home, people don't look the other way when they do shit like this! I know I'm going on a bit here, but that's the main problem with Family Guy as a whole: it does not want to understand any of the issues that it wants to talk about! It takes time, effort and research, something that Family Guy doesn't want to spend time on doing! Oh, and this is just a nitpick, but Joe's a fucking police officer. I'm sure that someone broke a law somewhere."
  • His "Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q" review. Pretty much the entirety could count, but if we had to note one standout example, it would be the one he gave towards Quagmire's speech to Brenda, which is pretty much the reason Mr. Enter had to put up a unique Content Warning at the beginning of his review on how the episode made him angry.
    "Okay, all bets are off. Where do I even begin? Let's start with you, Quagmire. How this has affected your life. You're a convicted sex offender constantly treating women like objects, you are not one to talk. No one gives a Goddamn shit what you think, or how this affects you. But let's go on a little bit further. This entire episode conveys Brenda as incredibly damaged by Jeff's abuse, so saying that this is her fault is one of the most flagrant examples of victim blaming that I've ever seen! And yes, this is portrayed as a good and heartwarming moment. And if you're supposed to take this episode seriously, this is how you're supposed to treat your victims seriously. It implies that staying in an abusive relationship is the abused victim's choice. It's not true here, and for the vast majority of abuse cases, it's not true. And weird how this goes exactly against the previous episode's attitude that it's a good thing to stay in abusive relationships, and you are heroic for doing it. This episode has spent half of its entire run-time thoroughly convincing me that being in this relationship is not Brenda's choice. Because of Jeff's abuse, she does not have the psychological capacity to leave him anymore. While that does bring me to my final point, I want to stick it to Quagmire's speech one more time. According to Quagmire, you don't deserve to be called a woman if you're a victim of domestic abuse. You're below being a woman, you don't even deserve to be called a woman. Fuck off, Family Guy!! Fuck off and die! The people who wrote that can't... can't have thought that was a good idea. I hope to God that no one really thinks that about abuse victims. That is fucking horrifying! The only other option is that they don't fucking care about the issue they're portraying here. How much could the staff and writers really care about domestic violence if they portray the issue this poorly!? This is fucking disgraceful!!"
  • He gives one on the Family Guy episode, ''Peter-Assment'' on how poorly they portrayed Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male.
    "Never, in my entire life, thought I'd find a story that wasn't some fetish thing from the back corner of the Internet, that wanted you to sympathize with an attempted rapist. I mean, they're definitely trying to be sincere here at the end. This isn't a joke, it's how the story unwinds. Yeah, men can get sexually harassed and that's wrong, but if a woman wants to rape you, you should let her because she's probably just lonely. For a story that wants to play Reverse the Genders, it's created a despicably disgusting story. Angela, in this episode, is one of the most pathetic characters ever written. Not because she hasn't had sex for so long. I wouldn't care if she never had sex or if she always had sex. She attempted to rape someone, and thought that being lonely or horny or whatever was justification. There is no justification, for a man or a woman. Rape, attempted or otherwise, is one of the most unforgivable things you can do, and the people who made this episode should know better. If you're that damned horny, masturbate, buy yourself a fucking vibrator, or get yourself a prostitute; whether or not you consider them to be illegal, immoral, whatever. It's a hell of a lot better than trying to commit rape."
  • In his review Brian's a Bad Father he utterly tears into the episode's attempt at making the audience sympathize with Brian, who has been nothing but a selfish, arrogant, uncaring Jerkass to his own son.
    "Brian asks for a chance to redeem himself at the end of the episode and that he wants to be Dylan's father again. And then Dylan is never mentioned again. Ever. You know, the reason that sparked this whole episode? I guess this is a meta lesson: don't give people second chances because they don't fucking change. This episode is filled with good life lessons, isn't it? I'm not going to say don't give people or family second chances. I'm not going to say that in real life people don't change. What I am going to say is that you have to treat it on a case-by-case basis. Personally, I don't expect people to change. Some people do, but that's on them. They've got to want it, and for that you have to be valuable enough to them for them to want to change. If they don't value you in that way, they won't change for you. But that being said, most people don't seem to want to change. Brian Griffin does not want to change. He just wants back what he's lost, and learning that skill, separating those who want to change from those who just want back what they've lost, is an incredibly valuable and incredibly important skill to leading a happy life and not being abused and tugged around. There are a lot of Brian Griffins in the world. And remember, your story with them doesn't end with a hug in a sunset. It's the next day, when they're trying to become a writer on your show again. It's the next week, where they force you to defend their actions and get both of you fired. It's the next month, where they start saying they want nothing to do with you again after they made your life worse. When they've begun ignoring all contact with you because you can do nothing more for them.

    All I can say is fuck everything about this episode. Fuck Peter for being a dumbass. Fuck this episode for trying to make me sympathize with him. Fuck it trying to tell people- I'm sorry, specifically 14-year-olds -how to cut themselves. And fuck the editing too. Yeah, remember? This episode has deleted scenes. They actually chose to cut out plot and character-crucial moments and keep in the scene with Peter and the knife. Fuck this episode for trying to make me sympathize with one of Brian's more self-centered and sociopathic appearances. Fuck the dishonest character moments. And keep in mind that this is literally the third episode after Brian was brought back from the dead. Way to teach us all to be, what was it, grateful for what we have and be knowledgeable we could lose it at any time? That was the message of Brian's death and revival, right? Be grateful that your herpes-spreading, kid-abandoning asshole is still around to drink all your liquor and spout pretentious non-sequiturs while never having a real job. Fuck this episode and fuck Brian Griffin. Next time you get hit by a car, do us all a favor and stay dead."

  • Almost everything he has to say about Buck in his Chicken Little review is one. For example:
    "WOW! My FUCKING GOD! When I thought that I couldn't despise a character any more, Buck, do me a favor. Just, a semblance of a favor. Ask. One. QUESTION! No wait, ask one simple word. One. Simple. Fucking. Word! That word is why, ASK. WHY! Why would Chicken Little complain about aliens after so long of being beaten down by the world around him, and after FINALLY getting a reputation, and after FINALLY having YOUR APPROVAL!? Do you really think that he likes being ostracized? Being abandoned by his parent? HELL IF YOU KNOW, you fucking short-sighted cock!"
  • He gives one to Nickelodeon during the first few minutes of his "Fart Baby" review.
    "Guys, I want to have a very serious talk with you all. And like all serious talks, it's usually best open with a joke: Nickelodeon. That's all I really need because as far as I can tell, Nickelodeon is nothing more than a punchline now. In my "SpongeBob, You're Fired" review, I said that Nickelodeon needed to die. At the time I was debating how much I meant that sentence, but let me say for the record: NICKELODEON NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE. I have to ask what the hell happened to this network? For those just joining me, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. Once upon a time, Nicktoons fucking meant something." (cue a clip of "Pigeon Man")
  • He did this again in the Breadwinners review, when he found out that the show had reached No. 1 in its 4th week, and the site saying that the channel was "putting kids first in everything it does." Particularly noticeable is that he uses "fuck" and its derivatives 11 times.
    memo: Breadwinners, the latest original animated comedy from Nickelodeon's Burbank studio, has risen to the top-rated show for kids 2-11 in only its 4th week on the air.
    Mr. Enter: H-HOW? No seriously, someone tell me, someone just fucking tell me, how the fuck is this possible? It's not possible. Are people, really, this fucking stupid, or am I just going fucking crazy? Maybe I've died, and gone to hell, because this is just what I fucking expect!
    memo: It has built a diverse, global business by putting kids first in everything it does
    Mr. Enter: That's just a pathetic, vile lie that's not even worth laughing at. Yeah, insulting their fucking intelligence. Pandering bullshit. Exposing them to infected splinters, driving their favorite characters to suicide, rehashing the most heinous stories ever told. Sanding down any quality that manages to slip through under their watch. Yeah that's really putting kids first. No at best, they only care about the bottom fucking line. And at worst, they're actually fucking malicious! "They put kids first", you couldn't be anymore insulting if you spit in my face after slaughtering my dog in front of it. Even a cursory look will reveal that bullshit lie for what it is. You are BLIND AND STUPID IF YOU BELIEVE THIS! No, I'm gonna go on. When the dog shits on the carpet, you rub their noses on it, and show them exactly what they did wrong. Sara Bibel, isn't that a fitting name? If ANY of this shit is putting kids first, I'd hate to think how kids are under your care. Nickelodeon is one of the worst fucking companies in existence. Maybe that's because of Viacom, maybe it isn't, I don't fucking care. This honestly makes me feel like what I'm doing is completely in vain. Yeah, I know I'm not going to break through the thick skulls of people like Casey Alexander, but, it's the kind of moment that makes you realize that I've been shouting at a hurricane this whole time. I can yell, and scream, as loud as possible, and it won't make a fucking difference. Nick is gonna keep making these atrocities, and keep making them worse, and considering that this is the shit that people apparently WANT to see, who am I to complain? You'd think something would change by now, but, it's impossible. It's impossible to change anything...
  • Just about all of the "Over Two Rainbows" review is one long one to its creators. Some of the highlights:
    "Oh for the love of all things pleasant in this world, there are a shit ton of things you could do to make this clear! Close that pony’s mouth! Control where the audio is coming from! Show the camera on the blue one! HAVE HER MOUTH MOVE! I know that it’s tough to animate, it’s tough to draw, to make things look pleasant to the eye, have each character be fluid, have a story that has some sense of tension, and have sound effects that sound real, but dipshits, THIS IS THE JOB THAT YOU PICKED! Either put your all into it, or get a job as, oh I don’t know, MCDONALDS JANITORS! You’ll probably be paid more, but then again you probably aren’t qualified!"
    • Later:
      "What the fuck just happened!? No seriously, you have to convey this better. I mean if a full grown adult doesn't have the capability to process what your trying to convey, I don't think the shit on the bottom of your shoe has the capability to process it either. And that's a damn shame! because that's the only audience you'd ever get to watch this!
  • The review of "Tommy's Big Job" gives the show two of these for being an end-all result on believing that cartoons can only appeal to adults when they're full of shock humor.
    "Mr. Pickles, do you really want me to get offended? I can't be offended if I can't fucking care. You've given me no characters to gravitate to. Your setting never started anywhere sane or rational. Your jokes never made me laugh because each and every one of them is stupid and predictable. There was no effort and no potential for anything. You started me off with characters that we will never see again. You have a concept that's barely utilized. Your animation is lazy and off-putting. Give me one reason that I should care either way about your existence."
    "This show is like the worst student in a class: the student that copies off the failing tests of his friends when he couldn't even bother to care. Most of the time his attention is darting from window to window to the obscene shapes he's been drawing in his notebook. He's failing, but he doesn't even care that he's failing, because it's far too late for him to even try to pass. People wonder why adults are watching things like My Little Pony; if this is what adults are supposed to be watching, I'd rather gouge my eyes out. Adult cartoons need some serious help because more often than not, they tend to be like this. Shows like Mr. Pickles crop up when failures thrive. Right now, failures are thriving in adult cartoons. All you need is 22 minutes of shock humor with some "social commentary" deliberately designed to be "edgy", and BAM! You've got yourself a hit. Adult cartoons have the potential to explore the entirety of the human experience. They don't have to be insightful about it, but my God, they need to be at least adult about it! This is another reason why I tend to stick to kids shows; it's not only that I don't like watching this stuff, it's that with the current status quo, I all too often feel like I'm critiquing hentai for porn. I don't feel that this is what adult cartoons are supposed to be like. Disgust is actually a very useful emotion for the storyteller, but it needs context. When left alone, that's all you have, and I've been around the block, and it's not even enough to hold my attention anymore. You can make humor about all the complications of relationships; you don't have to be afraid about tackling any issue, and you could tell stories with layers of allegory. When you have the whole palette of human experience open to you, why do you choose to paint the entire canvas with shit brown? If you're not going to take this seriously, why should I take you seriously, Mr. Pickles?"
  • His review of Glenn Martin DDS has him tiredly giving a "the Reason the Bumbling Dad Trope Sucks" Speech:
    "The adults in the family are the Sitcom... I'd call them "staples", but at this point, they are the most cliched thing in history. Glenn Martin is the Dumbass Dad, and his wife is the woman too good for him. Get ready, 'cause this mini-rant is going to go on for quite a while. [inhale] Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Stan Smith, Goofy, Mr. Turner, Jack Fenton, Oscar Proud, Hugh Neutron, Dick Daring, Billy's dad from Billy & Mandy, Richard from Gumball, Bob Oblong, Fred Flintstone, Tim Taylor, Raymond, Hal, why am I even going on? Literally every sitcom and commercial since 1992. This cliche has been beaten to a pulp, buried into the ground, grown into a poison oak tree, been cut down, and burnt into toxic fumes. Just stop it. There's nothing new you can do with this character type. Literally everything has been done, by Homer Simpson alone. He's done virtually everything you can do with the idiot father trope three times over. You cannot make it funny anymore! You cannot make it unique anymore! It might not be so bad if it wasn't fucking everywhere! This isn't a sitcom "template", it's a stock and boring cliche. Yes, I know it was originally meant to subvert a cliche of the mother being an idiot and the father being down-to-earth. I-It doesn't fucking matter anymore. Sorry for that, that one's been boiling up inside me for a while now, just please stop this cliche."
  • Near the end of his review of "Space Circus," it has him giving one not to any of the characters nor the episode itself, but to the 1970s-era Moral Guardians for what they did to cartoons and how they almost destroyed the medium.
    "And we got our obligatory forced moral for the day. Are you happy parents? Oh, what's that, you're not watching this garbage? Just typical. Yeah, I firmly want to believe that no one in those parents groups actually watch any of the crap they up place on television, because, honestly, who in the right mind would?"
  • He gives three of these to Cartoon Network in his Toy-Based Cartoons: An Analysis page; the first being that the network wants to compete with Hasbro even though the former isn't even a toy company, the second pointing out the channel's staunch refusal to embrace its Periphery Demographic (as well as pointing out the channel's steadfast following to the Girl-Show Ghetto), and the third pointing out that there's other ways to make a show profitable without being Merchandise-Driven or Pandering to the Base.
    "And yet... well, let's be honest here, there's only one company that seems to have a problem: Cartoon Network. Not even Viacom seems to have this problem, Cartoon Network. Let me level with you, because you seem to be suffering from a very serious delusion. Your friends and family didn't want to tell you this because they were afraid you couldn't handle the truth. YOU ARE NOT A FUCKING TOY COMPANY. I don't know where this stupid idea weaseled its way into your head, but my God. Why does it seem like Cartoon Network wants to be everything BUT a cartoon network. I'm beginning to think that the reason they stopped getting live action shows was because they weren't making enough toys (there's actually legitimate evidence to that conclusion)."

    "You've heard the stories, haven't you? Tower Prep (not a cartoon, but whatever) was cancelled... not because it didn't sell enough toys, but because it didn't sell enough toys towards boys. They don't want shows with female protagonists because boys don't buy those toys, and they don't want to sell to girls... for some reason. I cannot wait for Star vs. the Forces of Evil to eclipse Adventure Time in popularity. I wouldn't exactly call this sexism. It's more like... stupidity. What, is the network afraid that girls have cooties or something?"

    "Cartoon Network, you don't want to go down that road. I've been down that road. It's called Breadwinners. Making those kinds of assertions is insulting to the audience that you're aiming for. Now I've gotten that quote, and many others like it, from various news sources. It quite frankly, made my brain rot. There will be a time to talk about all of this we-want-only-boy stuff later (and I'll be looking forward to the chance when I get to review your next addition to the Madballs series). I don't have time in this article. What I'll say is that... seeking only profit doesn't really work out when you're excluding a specific audience... a large audience. It's half the fucking population—"
  • His The Return of Slade review gives four of these, the most of any episode.
    Robin: If that clown has his way, all children's entertainment will be tainted.
    Mr. Enter: (shows a clip of Space Circus) I'm more more worried about children's entertainment if you had it your way.

    Beast Boy: We can't hold on to our childhood forever.
    Mr. Enter: Yes, you can. Yes you fucking can! Shows like Courage and Samurai Jack are made with such care and diligence that when people grow up with them, they look back on it and they get inspired, maybe to tell their own stories, maybe to become animators, or maybe to just keep moving forward. When the kids today look back at Teen Titans Go!, what will they think? I mean, people who regret 80's fashions don't really blame the fashions, and the irony is, that when people don't pull in to their childhood, instead of creating things like Gravity Falls or Steven Universe, they create things like Teen Titans Go!. I still hold onto my childhood and that makes me want to make cartoons, inspired by the ones as a child, the ones that still hold up because, as an adult, I can determine what works and what doesn't, and so many of them work. And that's just not a thing in animation; think of all the spiritual successors in video games going around on the indie scene, because people hold fondly of the games they played as children. If they didn't hold onto them, then these people wouldn't bother.

    Raven: No, the only way to stop him is to remind him of what he truly is.
    Mr. Enter: (calls Cartoon Network) Yes, Cartoon Network. I'm calling to try to get Teen Titans Go! cancelled. It seems to be under the delusion that its style and theories are the savior that cartoons need and can be the prevention of an art form maturing.
    Telephone Operator: Please buy five new toys to continue this conversation.
    Mr. Enter: Shit.

    Mr. Enter: Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention another fallacy they brought up. Just because people want more cartoons that can appeal to adults doesn't mean anyone is taking anything from kids! I mean, kids can still watch Friendship is Magic, Star vs. the Forces of Evil and Gravity Falls, et cetera. But that's what this episode is: one giant fallacy. Teen Titans Go!, I don't care that you make a kid's show. I care that you're bad at it, even under the apparent low, low standards of a kids show! Yep, kids will watch anything. They'll also eat anything. Should we let them eat lead paint chips? Sure, teaching kids that girls are inherently better than boys or that no one likes smart people or that you should avoid responsibility isn't going to make the lives of kids any worse. And I guess you want your kids constantly nagging for Teen Titans Go! toys. Kids might not have standards, which is why we need a little bit of extra care. We do this in all other areas of children's lives. What makes entertainment the exception!?
  • Near the end of his review of the Drawn Together Movie, he really chews out the film for not having a point, and comparing the lack of having a point to having a lack of a reason to exist, as well as chewing out the All Adult Animation Is South Park and Rated M for Money mentalities.
    Spanky Ham: This doesn't seem right. I mean, maybe we don't want a point. Don't you see? If I can't fart or vomit or fill up an ice tray with the afterbirth of Foxxy's miscarriage and hand them out as ice pops to terminally ill children on my hospital tours without making some kind of point, then maybe it's just not worth it.
    Mr. Enter: Maybe I would listen to what you have to say if this movie wasn't such a disgusting waste of time. Do you know why you should have a point? Because NO ONE WANTS TO SEE ANY OF THIS SHIT YOU THROW IN MY FUCKING FACE!
    Captain Hero: And I don't want to let dead chicks fuck me in my mouth for social commentary. I mean, what's wrong with just doing it 'cause it makes me feel good?
    Mr. Enter: Because it's disgusting as fuck! People like to laugh, think, and even be scared, but no one, anywhere, likes to be disgusted. The point of the emotion of disgust is keep us away from things. Don't have a point and be as raunchy as fuck, you'll be hated, despised, and yes, deserve to be ERASED! Or instead of preaching what you clearly hate, you could spend this time trying to be funny! And like I said, being funny is a point to existing! And by the way, personally, I've not been kind to things that literally have no points, even if they're not raunchy as fuck. Everything about this movie, every single piece of it, has been a much better argument that I can possibly conceive to why this logic doesn't work! It defeats itself. Why should you have a point? Because THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING TERRIBLE and it doesn't have a point! Why should you have a point? Because when you don't have a point you go around disgusting people and BORING PEOPLE! When shows exist just to shock, they always turn out terrible. Always! There are rules to comedy and if you fail at reaching them, then your comedy will fail!
  • In his review of "D.W.'s Very Bad Mood", he calls out the Reads on their terrible parenting of D.W. His first one is given to Dave:
    Francine: I didn't think she'd get so upset!
    Dave: It's not your fault, Francine.
    Mr. Enter: You're absolutely right! It's your fault! For not scolding your child when she was yelling and ranting at Arthur. It's your fault for completely ignoring the issue. Be parents to your children. But I forgot, your kid getting bullied in school is karma for hurting the one who could do no wrong. I'm surprised you guys don't pray to D.W. at night. There's gonna be a future episode where you start a whole religion around D.W., isn't there?
    • He later gives one to Jane:
      Jane: D.W., this being rude to everybody has got to stop!
      Mr. Enter: Well, to steal a quote from D.W., just what are you going to do about it? No, I'm serious. Dead serious. What are you gonna do about it?! You see, saying "stop doing this" or "stop doing that" isn't going to work if there's no weight behind it. D.W. knows you're not going to do anything to her at all. Hell, she's been rude to everyone, even her father, for three or four days, and has been slamming doors all night. And you haven't even given her time out, or five minutes in the fucking corner! Hell, you know what? Arthur and Francine, despite their failings, are better parents than you and your husband in this episode, because they're actually paying attention to your child!
  • In his Painbow review, he gives a pretty lengthy one to the execs for... well, a lot of things, starting with how "Horn, Sweet Horn" had a message that didn't exist, then going into things like how Sara Bellum was put on a bus and Miss Keane's breasts were removed because they were too sexual, but having the young Powerpuff Girls twerking was A-OK, and in the same episode Bellum was booted off, they introduced Bianca Bikini, a character that could be argued as a different stereotype. In addition to that, despite the show running on "Girl Power", they have the girls themselves get saved by the Mayor of all characters at least twice. He also mentioned the fact that, despite the old show going through seasonal rot, the movie failing financially, and things like Dance Pantsed being mostly panned, they still claim there was an overwhelming demand for this reboot that they didn't even ask the voice actors to reprise for, and made it primarily to sell more toys. There was a lot to chew out in the end of this review, to be honest.
  • In his review of Shark Tale, he gives one to the "Mopey-Dopey Love Talk" trope:
    "Why does this love struck blubbering annoy me? Because even shallow, lustful attraction is deeper than being tongue-tied. Because, from a storytelling perspective, dialouge is a limited resource, and this is the equivalent of driving a coal-powered hummer. Because it's annoying, because it makes me feel stupid for hearing it, because it drags the story to a halt, because in a visual medium it tells us no information except that the other character is attracted to them, which you can do using less distracting visual cues, because this has been overdone since the 80s, shall I go on?"
  • His review for Little Clowns Of Happytown has two, both complaining about how the show is Innocently Insensitive towards people with disabilities.
  • In his review of the Totally Spies! episode, "Totally Busted!", he gives one to the spies' mothers for being neglectful parents who still expect their kids to do everything they say.
    "You three are horrible! Some of the worst parents that I have seen in a cartoon for quite some time! "We need to get them to respect us again." Here's an idea: Maybe they'd respect you if you were actually in their fucking lives, instead of buying them their own house to get away from them! You don't get to complain about them not listening to you, you incompetent morons!"
  • He made a big one against Cartoon Network for their recent "if it doesn't sell toys, cancel it" mentality.
    "There's something that I want to say from the bottom of my heart to Cartoon Network as a network. Maybe you're not on the same page as everyone else but who knows. Maybe you're a little bit behind or you're on the wrong track entirely and are about to be hit by an oncoming train. I don't know. But I think this is important to understand if you wanna move forward: Cartoon Network — CARTOON. NETWORK. — you are NOT A TOY COMPANY. I'm sick and tired of hearing these network decisions from you specifically being entirely decided by whether or not something has sold enough toys. Young Justice was cancelled not because of Teen Titans Go!, but because one sold toys while the other didn't. Tower Prep, while not a cartoon, was cancelled because it didn't sell enough toys. Oh, I'm sorry; it DID sell toys. To girls. But they didn't want that. It's amazing how things change in five years. Green Lantern: cancelled for toys. Symbionic Titan: cancelled for toys. It's sad — it's really sad — when Hasbro, a literal toy company, respects their animation as animation more than the CARTOON NETWORK. Whether you like it or hate it, Friendship is Magic is at least respected by Hasbro, as was Littlest Pet Shop; both are shows that were made to sell toys."
  • It's lighter than most of his examples since the show in question is one of his current favorites but he does fairly viciously call out The Loud House episode "One of the Boys" for turning Lincoln's sisters into flat stereotypes of their genders for the sake of the plot and not only doing the same thing with their male counterparts but turning said counterparts into bullies for no reason (and in particular, calls out the swirlie scene, saying that it makes no sense that Lincoln wouldn't be safe from bullies in his own home). He's particularly peeved about this aspect of Luke (counterpart to Luna) and Loni (counterpart to Leni).
  • In the Re-Animated review, he gives an absolutely scathing one to Craig, especially since the movie expects its audience to sympathize with Craig's plight.
    Mr. Enter: Okay. Craig's plea to continue his friendship. The argument that Craig makes that is supposed to make all of the abuse seem worthwhile is that, with Jimmy gone, Craig has no one to hang with. Y'know, because he has one of the most repulsive personalities ever conceived for a character. Good, Craig, you deserve to have no one to hang with. Maybe you can finally learn something and start to better yourself. The only friend you had was a piece of wood that couldn't stand up to anybody.
    Jimmy: What about Logan and the Dakotas? Why can't you hang out with them?
    Craig: Dude, are you gonna make me say it? They don't like me. You're my only friend.
    Mr. Enter: Even by the loosest definition of friend, you two aren't friends. You constantly berated him, took advantage of him, and pushed him around! And the only reason that this movie gave me for why Jimmy hung around with you is that he was too stupid or pathetic to fight back. The only kind of "friend" you might have been is Facebook friends, but since this is 2006, Facebook didn't exist note . Now because I am so angry, I am going to think of a world where Facebook didn't exist to try and calm down. It's a nice thought, to be quite honest.
    Craig: You're the only one nice enough to put up with me. And now you're not even nice anymore.
    Mr. Enter: So you knew that you were an asshole all along, huh? It's just like, "I accept the fact that I'm an asshole, it's just who I am! It's me!" See, this is the kind of rage that a person knows their flaws and doesn't try to improve them can ignite! The moral of this movie is "don't be a Craig!"
  • His whole video titled "Talking About My Online Harassment", in which he calls out the other reviewers who had talked down on him. Just see for yourself.
  • The first episode of Technocracy, a series in which Mr. Enter discusses the practices of major social media sites, is just a long one towards YouTube, calling the website's crew out on every major screw-up they've made over the year, including introducing Google+ and forcing people to sign up for it so they can keep posting comments, forcing content creators to upload constantly or else be swept under the rug, and in particular their infamously broken copyright system that has gotten many channels and videos taken down. Listen to him going into detail here.
  • In a sort of sequel to the above Cyberharassment video, Mr. Enter did an entire video-long tirade against a Stalker with a Crush who has been harassing him for a year. The best one, however, would be the last one, which he ends up doing twice just in case his stalker doesn't take the hint:
    Mr. Enter: This is my ultimatum: I will never love you. At this point, I will never like you. I'm never even gonna stop hating you at this point. STOP. CONTACTING. ME. Get some help, get out of my life and get your own! If you contact me again in any way whatsoever, we go to stage 3: I contact law enforcement, the FBI and Social Security to tell them what you're doing with the government's money and what you're doing instead of looking for a job. At stage 4, I tell your family. I'll be sure to send my condolences on the outbreak of AIDS. If you think that I'm bluffing and I don't know who they are, try me. Or try that PayPal shit again! And see what else I can put that money towards!
    • The second one, just in case she didn't get the point is even better, since he does it in the flesh that time. So you know he's serious.
    Mr. Enter: This is my ultimatum: STOP CONTACTING ME. I will never love you. I will never like you. I will never even tolerate you. At this point, I will never even stop hating you. Get some help. Get out of my life, and get your own together. If you contact me in any way whatsoever, we go to stage 3: I contact the FBI, I contact law enforcement, and I contact social security. I'm sure that they'd love to hear about what you're doing with the government's money, and what you're doing in your time instead of looking for a job. At stage 4, I tell your family. LEAVE ME. THE FUCK. ALONE.


Example of: