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The Reason You Suck Speech / History of Power Rangers

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    Mighty Morphin Power Rangers 
  • In the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Season 2 episode of History of Power Rangers, Linkara rants about the poorly edited baby carriage sequence and how it illustrates just how dumb the people of Angel Grove are without teenagers.
    However, there’s one thing in particular I have to point out because it is a combination demonstration of something awesome, but also of just how ludicrous this show can get. There is a full three and a half minute sequence of a baby carriage going down a hill. Bare in mind that the average episode of Power Rangers (counting both theme song and ending theme) lasts about 20 minutes. A good chunk of the episode is now been devoted to this sequence and It’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen. First of all, this must be the biggest hill on the country because the stroller goes downhill the entire time. Secondly, I don’t care how big this hill is, a stroller and the cheap wheels on one simply don’t have enough mass of torque to go fast enough that these teens who are in peak physical health can’t catch up to it. And even if somehow it did, it goes into the grass, it would slow it down immensely. Speaking of the grass, my next point: the editing on this sequence is terrible, they don’t even try to speed up the carriage footage to make it look like it was going faster then it is, making it even sillier that nobody can’t catch up to it. And when it does go in the grass, they often cut to the front of the carriage so that we can see the baby inside and the fact that it’s still on the pavement.

    Fourth, the people of Angel Grove are apparently the dumbest pack of nitwits ever to inhabit a town. People keep jumping out of the way of the carriage, even when everyone’s screaming for them to stop the carriage. I could put my foot in front of it and stop it. What are they afraid of? That the carriage will run them over? Plus there’s the fact that nobody seems to be trying to help except for a bunch of teenagers. Hell, an older couple doesn’t even look up when people keep jumping all around them. This really paints a picture about this city. THAT TEENAGERS ARE THE ONLY COMPETENT PEOPLE LIVING HERE. Let’s face it, it’s a very long time before we finally see a police officer in the town, the military never steps in to fight the monsters. It’s expected that the Power Rangers will do it for them. And they’re the only ones to help out with charity and general cleanup. My god!!! These people deserve to be destroyed by Zedd.

    Power Rangers Turbo 

     Power Rangers Operation Overdrive 
  • In the Power Rangers Operation Overdrive episode of History of Power Rangers, Linkara gives a brutal one towards the Overdrive Rangers in regards of a certain episode.
    Okay, if I haven't made it clear by now, then allow me to do so: I. HATE. THIS. EPISODE! And a big part of why I hate it is the Overdrive team. In previous seasons, when the Rangers lose their powers or are put in great peril, they don't give a rat's ass! They'll keep on fighting, no matter the cost. (plays scenes from Power Rangers throughout various seasons where the rangers decide to keep fighting, despite their lack of powers)

    But this team of privileged dorks? As soon as they lose their powers, do they leap at an emergency to try to help? Do they run off and try to do altruistic things in spite of their lost powers? No! They return to their previous lives and the emotions they display don't come off like they want to resume their ranger duties out of a desire to battle against evil but rather, their lives are boring! Hell, Will is doing a service - trying to improve museum security systems - and even he doesn't find the work fulfilling. Season after season, we have seen rangers not giving a damn if they have their powers or not! They'll fight evil regardless of that! The true measure of being a power ranger isn't the powers. The powers are just a tool to use to do what's right. It's the classic superhero situation: A truly great hero is one who's willing to do the right thing even if they don't have anything that makes them special. That's why Bulk and Skull's Character Development was so damn important. But not these jackasses! They lose their powers, and suddenly they get the right to whine and moan about it! And don't give me any crap about how they learned to fight even without those powers. They don't! They pull a sword from a statue. That's the extent of them "fighting the good fight!" Hell, it takes Mack to even get them to do that. The rest were willing to give up right away!

    Once A Ranger is a terrible team-up episode. It makes the Overdrive team look like a bunch of self-centered, unlikable jerks with no real fighting prowess who give up at the drop of a hat. The Cardinal Sin of a team-up episode is making one team look better than the other instead of being equals. The past rangers come off so much better than them! It makes me wanna see a ranger season dedicated to those characters! Show me a season where Adam leads a bunch of veteran rangers who kick ass. That is awesome! And as I said earlier, it barely qualifies as a team-up! They're not even in the same room together most of the time!

     Power Rangers Samurai 
  • In his retrospect of Power Rangers Samurai, he does not like Mentor Ji at all. When he confiscated Antonio's Morpher as he believed that it was dangerous in his hands due to not having the proper training, that was the last straw...
    (chuckles with Tranquil Fury) Who the hell are you? No, seriously... Who the hell are you? You don't even have a first goddamn name, "Mentor!" And yet you get to dictate who is and isn't qualified to be a ranger? That's his Morpher, asshole! He's the only member of this team who actually chose — of his own free will — to do this crap! Yeah, that's something that's been bothering me about this team: This obligation put on this team that's never really been addressed. Sure the rangers express regret occasionally about wanting a normal life away from all of this, but they treat the whole thing like it's a Foregone Conclusion. They have no choice but to do this. Their families placed a massive responsibility on these children, and I do mean children. We see flashbacks to a lot of them as little kids and this job being thrust upon them.

    Every previous ranger team was given a choice. Sure, some of them were in training longer than others before they became rangers, but even they clearly chose the path they were on. This is all familial responsibilities that have been shoved onto them before they even knew how to spell. And before you say "Well, Jayden gave them a choice in the first episode," it's been hammered into them all their lives that they have to drop everything for this. It's both their destiny and their responsibility to do this, and to do otherwise would be a betrayal of that destiny and the expectations placed on them.

    One of the themes of that Power/Rangers short film apparently was about child soldiers. I call it horsecrap for every season note except this one. These characters clearly have a lot of issues as a result of this. Constantly overworking and berating themselves as a result of this responsibility. They're doing a lot better than many would, but it still was absolutely wrong.

    And then "Mentor Ji" comes along and gets to decide that Antonio was not worthy because his daddy ran a fish market instead of handing him a sword and telling him to fight demons? Even Jayden admitted that the time he spent with Antonio was the only time he felt like a normal kid, Ji. You denied him that chance! At least in SPD when Doggie Cruger denied ranger status at times, he had good reasons to worry about their development. Or concern about the future with the Dino Thunder rangers. You're some asshole in a robe who's a glorified butler for the team since I sure as hell don't see you out on the battlefield. Actually, I take that back. Even Spencer from Overdrive - an actual butler - was out on the field more than you! Up yours you self-righteous, sanctimonious sack of Gruumm. note 

     Power Rangers Megaforce 
  • While we could just say the entire review of Power Rangers Megaforce was one big "Reason You Suck" Speech, we get this after the appearance of the "New Powers".
    (Linkara growling in frustration) These are the suits from Dairanger, which was adapted into Mighty Morphin Season 2. Albeit ironically the full name is Gosei Sentai Dairanger, no relation of course. But yeah, aside from the white ranger, these suits have never been seen in Power Rangers before. And while admittedly, we still technically adapted that season, this is the first of these Sentai only teams in this season. The appearance of these Sentai only teams, in a season celebrating the 20th anniversary of Power Rangers. This, naturally upsets fans, primarily because, and, say it with me now. They. Are. NOT. POWER RANGERS!! And thus we return to our theme of this show, the bizarre form of laziness, because the only reason to include Sentai only rangers, is because of sheer laziness. They didn't want to film new sequences, edit out Sentai only teams, or find footage of Power Ranger teams that would of fit in just fine. Except of course, sometimes they do! There will be a multi ranger morph where one of them morphs into one that was originally a Sentai only ranger, and edit out that single one, but other times "nope, it's okay".

    There is no consistency about it. In fact, they even give some of these teams like "Prism Rangers" or "Squadron" or "Dragon Rangers", or some crap like that, assuming they even remember that because at one or two points, they actually change the names they gave them. The only other possible reason for their inclusion, as I said during Wild Force, was that apparently, again second hand information and I've heard rumors that it's not true, Producer Johnathon Tzactor is a fan boy of Super Sentai and didn't want them removed, which is an even worse explanation for their inclusion.

    But here's the most damning thing of all about this. I wouldn't even mind them using the Sentai footage like this, if they actually did something with it. This is an opportunity here. A glorious opportunity that allows them to save money by not having the edit out the Sentai teams, while also expanding the mythology. We know that there have been other teams before Mighty Morphin, and we know that there are Alien Rangers and other dimensions with it. You have Sentai only teams in this, ones that no Power Rangers fan has ever seen before? Well, do some world-building! Give us a back story for these teams. Have a previously unknown Ranger meet our heroes, and tell a story of a lost team of Power Rangers that nobody knows about. Have them say that, I don't know, their exploits were lost to history because of some great mind wipe or catastrophe, so ultimately their battle was useless, and that made them bitter and not want anyone to be Rangers anymore, or tell the same story to inspire the team. That even in spite of no one remembering them, it was still the right thing to do. Sure the footage of an unused Mighty Morphin isn't going to look as good in HD, but there are ways around it. You can make it an in-story explanation like, the aspect ratio is wrong because these are computer monitors that have borders around the footage the whole time, or the recording equipment of the era was different, or you could put a haze around it like it's a dream. Oh, tell us about the first Power Rangers, give us the origin of the Morphing Grid. In fact, I don't even think the Morphing Grid is mentioned at all at any point in either season of Megaforce! How do you do that?!? Even RPM, the series that takes place in a completely separate universe, managed to fit in their version of the Morphing Grid! How do you just forget the mythology of your own show in an anniversary season that's supposed to be celebrating that mythology!?! This is not difficult! If you just put in the slightest amount of effort into this, you can still do it on the cheap, and produce something worth everyone's time. But no. As Gosei said:

    Gosei: "There's a simple explanation for that"

    And that simple explanation is: New Powers. That's all we get.
  • Near the end of the review, he goes on a second one that borders on Tear Jerker territory, on just how far Megaforce was compared to the other seasons.
    You know what I find so fascinating? You'd think twenty years later with the evolution of television from the early '90s to today, that things would be better. The presentation would be vastly improved over what came before. As time has passed, this show has developed. Some seasons being more serialized than others. Some with a very clear endpoint in mind to them. Internal Character Development for as many of the people as they can. Bulk and Skull's evolution over six years. And then we get to this; no serialization, terrible writing, little if any character development, cheap attempts at nostalgia imagery, and yet not understanding why those elements worked. Why people actually cared about them, and why they're still talked about.

    This is not me being a fanboy for all the original stuff. As I've said, In Space is my favorite season. The one that ended that era. The original show had tons of problems; thirty-year-old teenagers, the episodes were ridiculous and formulaic, huge Plot Holes, the goody-good morality of heroes that turned them into cartoonish paragons instead of people. And yet it was charming. It was convincing, and embraced its silliness when it needed to. And when it needed to be serious, it was serious. Lord Zedd's introduction was three episodes, showing how dangerous this new enemy was. But if you really break it down, all he did was unleash a squad of putties and a single powerful monster. And yet, there's more dread and menace demonstrated by those two little things than an entire season's worth of Armada ships and X-Borgs. Because they weren't treated as something that they could destroy in the thousands, in a single stroke, while rambling about teamwork. And when Zordon gave them new Zords, it was treated with importance. That this was really the next step in the fight, the escalation in the conflict. Instead, it's Gosei randomly handing out Zords and weapons for no other reasons than he felt like it.

    This isn't a celebration of the history of Power Rangers! It's a mockery of it! An unintentional parody. There is no tension here. In Countdown to Destruction, it actually felt like the world was ending. This is why season finales since then have followed a similar pattern of destruction and overwhelming numbers. Because even if it's technically the same points over and over and over, there's a real sense of despair and hopelessness to see the base destroyed, armies of foot soldiers, and mass devastation. Because if nothing is treated like something to be worried about, why the hell should we care about it? I think the only time this wasn't played up to some degree was Jungle Fury. Because they were focusing on character stuff and badass martial arts instead. And it worked! We don't even get that here. One minute the rangers are crapping their pants about the possibility of millions of ships, and in the next minute, "Well that was easy"!
  • And finally. his closing thoughts:
    Here's the real problem with Samurai, and to a greater degree, Megaforce, in regards to the 'Neo-Saban Era', or however you wanna describe it. Television for children has evolved. We live in a world where shows like Avatar and Steven Universe are able to present so much emotion, depth, character development and complexities in their stories to a degree that, by and large, did not exist back when Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers was on the air. Exceptions existed of course, but more and more story-driven children's material is being produced nowadays. We've demanded better stuff for kids, and for the most part, kids are getting better stuff.

    But then there's Samurai and Megaforce. And when you have stories as simple as these, in order to compete with those shows and have a lasting effect that will make people want to come back for more and more, you need to do more with the characters if the overall story itself isn't gonna provide the complexity. But they're not! It's just 'This is bad guy! Hit bad guy! Now go and rest, our heroes!' It's unfair to the younger audiences that deserve better, and insulting to the adult audiences who have seen better from this franchise before.

    As a children's show, it's supposed to be giving lessons to kids, but they're the same kind of lessons that were done back in Mighty Morphin. Stuff like "Just ignore a bully! Words can't hurt you!" Hey guys, it's 20 years later and shockingly, we've discovered that's horsecrap, especially in the Internet age! "Save the Environment!" How? "I dunno, don't pollute or something. Save the environment!" Captain Planet had more complexity than this!

    Times have changed, but this show has not. The reason I did that whole big retrospective music video in RPM was because at that point, it really did feel like the show had come so far and done so much. If I had tried to do it here, 'Let's see how far we've come' would've been an ironic statement, since it felt like we were going backwards. There's your title for this right here: "There and back again, a Power Rangers tale."

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