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tennessean: The Blues Brothers vs The Dukes Of Hazzard, in a police chase.

Nodrog : Depends on the race format. I don't recall the Duke boys ever putting, in one shot, the number of hours on the General Lee that Jake and Elwood did to the Blues Mobile. However, the General Lee has a considerable edge when it comes to off-road use. Expanding this to the ultimate Cannonball Run, throw in the Bandit's trans-am (Smokey and the Bandit).

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Rothul: Why limit it to that? As I see it, the ultimate TV Tropes road rally would have to go something like this:

In a classic Gumball Rally LA to New York cross country adventure. Who even survives?


Ms3049: Best Leader: King Arthur vs. Napoleon vs. Otto Von Bismarck vs. Saladin vs. Eisenhower vs. Richard Lionheart vs. Cuatemoc vs. Hiawatha vs. Suleiman vs. Cleopatra vs. Tokugawa.

Schizo Technician: If technology counts, Eisenhower. If not, Bismarck.

Melloncollie: In political speed chess, war, or a celebrity politician deathmatch?

Tacitus: If it's physical combat, a toss-up between Saladin, Richard, or Arthur (if he exists), as they're all front-line medieval warlords. Tokugawa, Hiawatha and Cuatemoc lose out due to technology differences.

If it's a contest of strategy, the main contenders are going to be Napoleon, Bismarck, Eisenhower, and Suleiman. Of the four, I'd give it to Bismarck - Napoleon lost his war and had an ego problem, Eisenhower's a good general but not quite as magnificent as the others, and if it comes down to a contest between Bismarck and Suleiman I'm going to have to go with Otto's righteous mutton chops. Plus, he has a pointy hat.

If it's a popularity contest, Cleopatra. The audience likes powerful women, especially if they go topless.


Excel-2010. Axe Cop vs. the Pyro the Demoman with Eyelander.
Rothul Mojo Jojo Vs. Gorilla Grodd Vs. Donkey Kong Vs. Grape Ape Vs. Dr. Zaius Vs. The Librarian.
toalordsothe: A threeway game of Xanatos Speed Chess between Makuta, Aizen and The Detective.

Schizo Technician: If Aizen gets to show them his shikai, he wins via Perfect Hypnosis. If not, Batman wins. Batman always wins.

Rothul: Batman doesn't play Chess. Batman flips over the board, punches people in the face and goes off to play Settler of Cataan.

Wysp: Makuta would win partially by virtue of his immense lifespan (rendering Batman, for all his scheming, useless), and his authority over the other Makuta to overwhlem Aizen. If it came down to a one-on-one battle, Makuta wins by his immense set of powers and nigh-invulnerability. Also there's the fact that, while Aizen is scheming to become the god of his world, Makuta already did that. So it's more a question of pre- or post- Takeover Makuta.


tennessean: Nanoha Takamachi vs. Candle Jack.
  • Evil Midnight Lurker: Even if Nanoha says Can... HIS name... and gets arbitrarily kidnapped and tied up, she'll just order Raging Heart to kick his ass.

Gaunt88: Not really a Who Would Win (because we all know who'd win) but I'd like to see how the Doctor reacts to, and eventually deals with, the Reapers.

Schizo Technician: He finds out via judicious use of the psychic paper in the Citadel. He then intentionally gets himself captured, and fakes Indoctrination, him being immune due to superior Time Lord nature. Once he gets in contact with a Reaper, he uses the sonic screwdriver to fiddle with it so that the component sentients that comprise the Reaper's organic parts and minds regain their original emotions and consciences. He then convinces it to use its communications equipment to send a signal with the same effect to the rest of the fleet before it commits suicide.

  • I want to see fan-fic of that. That sounds just exactly like what he would do.
    • Gaunt88: Yeah, forcing a billion people to suddenly realise they've been painfully reduced to genetic paste and used to construct an Omnicidal Maniac Robo-Star-God sounds like something Ten would do. Remember those cybermen?
      • It may be horrible, but one could argue its better than the alternative. He's making them suffer, but he's giving them back themselves in the process, giving them the ability to choose their own fate for the first time in millions of years.
      • And I think it would be played as the tear-jerker that it is. Though it does kind of remind me of the end of the first season of the new series, when the Daleks did almost the same thing, remaking themselves from bits of other races.

Candy Entrails: The McNinja family vs. Axe Cop's team of superheroes. Who turns out to be the most Crazy Awesome cast in the history of webcomics?
  • Depends on which point in the story they are. If Uni-Avacado Soldier's present, all bets are off.

Melloncollie: (inspired by the Bleach thread in the forum) Aizen vs. Madara. Assume Madara can use Izanagi.
  • Eh, I'm going with Aizen 'cause he doesn't pull stuff out his ass so much as just be absurdly stronger than everyone else at once. Madara has some nasty tricks fo sho, but Aizen has his own game breaker abilities as well as being faster, stronger, and his own version of Made of Diamond, not to mention that Aizen has his spells to top it off. Good match up, but I think that Aizen is a weight class higher than Madara when you get right down to it. Feel free to refute that though, that's just the way I see it.
  • As far as we've seen, Madara's intangible so Aizen can't physically harm him. He'd have to go with Lotus-Eater Machine or something, unless his bankai is a Reality Warper. Izanagi on the other hand is a real Reality Warper. But I think both villains have to have limitations that we haven't seen yet, so I dunno.


Andoriol: Shepard vs. Master Chief.Assuming a fully leveled and upgraded Shepard from the second game and that Master Chief has his pick of the human weapons of his 'verse, who do you think would win? For simplicities sake, let's also limit Shepard's classes to the canonical Solider and the Jack-of-All-Trades Sentinal.Personally, I'm thinking Shepard would win both, though Solider!Shepard vs. The Chief would be a closer fight.
  • Sentinel!Shepard would probably win. But if it's just Soldier!Shepard, I'm thinking Master Chief has the advantage. Especially when it comes down to melee. Chief has a stronger punch due to the fact that he is a Spartan II cyborg. Shepard is still just a squishy human.
  • Actually,Solider!Shepard isn't exactly squishy, I specified all upgrades for a reason. At the end of the second game Shepard can have effectively indestructible bones, enhanced strength, and semi-bulletproof skin, this is not counting shielding and armor upgrades. While I do believe Mater Chief is stronger (the guy can flip tanks) Shepard isn't exactly a 'squishy human'.
    • Point taken. I'll still go with the Chief if it's Soldier!Shepard though.
  • Depends really on what version of the Halo 'verse weapons we're talking. A Halo 2 shotgun and pistol would give Shep a clear advantage at point blank because they're both piss-weak (whereas a Halo 1 pistol and shotgun would devastate). The weapon parity's basically there with the assault rifles and sniper rifles. At range, I give it to Shepard. In melee, Chief.
  • So what happens with the supporting characters? Garrus vs. Arbiter?
    • Eh, I love Garrus, but the Arbiter would probably kick his ass. Garrus is a glass cannon, the Arbiter, not so much, and the Arbiter also has active-(if short lived)-camo. Once the Arbiter got close, Garrus would be screwed. Grunt might be able to beat the Arbiter and I know Wrex could, but not Garrus.
      • I dunno: the Arbiter is strong enough to flip tanks, fast enough to dodge rockets, and so badass that he defeated Sgt-Major Johnson in five seconds flat. Unless you're talking the other Arbiter, the one that got his ass punked by some unaugmented human. Wrex eats that guy for a snack.

Ninja Orca: A Halo Covenant Battlecruiser, like the Truth and Reconciliation, versus a Battlestar Galactica (new series) Cylon Basestar.

pagad: Covenant battlecruiser wins every time, no contest. Cylon basestars are fragile and rely on conventional missiles and their Raiders, while Covie ships have honking great energy weapons, thick armour and damn near impenetrable shielding - all based off Forerunner tech. A basestar would have a better chance against a UNSC vessel, but even then I'd place my bets on the UNSC ship.

Todd The T 1000: Covenant wins, no contest whatsoever. As pagad said, even a UNSC cruiser would win against Cylons. The 'verse tech just isn't advanced enough.

Ninja Orca: But what if the Basestar sends its Raiders, which can carry nukes, underneath the Battlecruiser's shields to hit it that way?

Gaunt88: To do that, they've got to get through the shields in the first place. As Pagad said, chemicle-explosive rockets just won't cut it.

Chuckg: Not to mention that even though they didn't see much use in the games, the Covenant does have space fighters — Seraphs. We see one in the hangar on Halo 2 while trying to capture the Heretic Leader (its his intended escape craft), and more of them flying around in the opening cutscene of "The Ark" for Halo 3. Given that Seraphs have at absolute minimum rough parity (if not superiority) to UNSC Longswords, that means the Raiders are hopelessly fucked.


Schizo Technician: Prequel series era Yoda vs. mainline-series era King Mickey. Assume keyblades and lightsabers can parry one another.

  • Todd The T 1000: I give it to Mickey. Yoda's got the moves, but he's getting on a bit. He can't keep that going forever. Mickey's youthful stamina will win him the day.

Coximind: I dunno. On the other hand, Yoda has a good 800 years 'minimum' experience more than Mickey. I'm guessing that Yoda would have had time to get to level 9000.

windseer: It was already shown in KH 2 that king mickey can use healing spells.Since we are working with the idea that yoda and mickey have equivalent fight power, the ability to heal himself would be quite an advantage.


Master Hand: Two young space explorers crash-land in the same spot on an alien planet: Commander Keen and Spaceman Spiff. Who would win the ensuing conflict?

Ein Dose: Most likely Spiff, who has more than just a gun and a pogo stick. However, Keen may be able to lose him if the planet has enough geographical locations ripe for platforming. Then it's just a matter of if Spiff can traverse the same things Keen does.


The Other Steve: This one was inspired by a dream, so just bear with me here. The entire cast of Yotsuba& vs Darkseid. Can pure malevolence be matched by sheer Sweet Dreams Fuel? and just in case it isn't, let's assume Cardbo is in top condition for a showdown.

Schizo Technician: Dude, Yotsuba's cuteness tamed 4chan. 4chan. Darkseid charges up his Omega Beams, can't bring himself to do it, and takes her out for ice cream.


Hideki 101: Here's one I've been thinking about. Bleach versus Touhou. Who will win? I have a choice here. Either spellcards are mandatory in Gensokyo, meaning that people from the Bleachverse will need to fight with them, or they aren't, and Gensokyo's inhabitants can unleash their full power as well. Most interesting would be match-ups between people who have similar or opposed powers. For example, how would the second espada fare against an immortal who controls eternity?

Big B: Yukari vs any Bleach character, no need for spell cards, all out brawl. I doubt there is a bleach character one who could beat Yukari at full strength. Strike that, I doubt there is ANYONE who could beat Yukari at full strength.

I guess I should mention a Main character fight: Ichigo vs Reimu full powers match. Reimu probably has it over Ichigo, but only due to shrine maiden powers.


Evil Midnight Lurker: Saotome Ranma versus the Taskmaster in a weaponless mixed-martial-arts battle. I'm inclined to favor Ranma, as his brand of copying his opponent involves a lot more on-the-fly adaptation and creativity. ....Meanwhile, on screen two, Shampoo takes on Nuku-Nuku in a bicycle race across Nerima.

theForge: I'd have to say the task master will beat Ranma at first causing bruises and broken bones and then ranma will get up like it's nothing and pound taskmaster within an inch of his life.

Chuckg: Taskmaster has normal human strength. Ranma takes punches hard enough to shatter granite without bruising. Really, Akane could kick Taskmaster's ass, he's hopelessly boned by the simple fact that he uses the more 'realistic' end of comic-book martial arts, while Ranma is the one of the Trope Codifiers for absurd anime martial arts.


Evil Midnight Lurker: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann has encountered the Getter Emperor. Can Spiral Nemesis be averted?


DOTMW: Teen Titans vs Runaways. Neutral fighting ground, optimum fighting conditions, and whatever scenario that gets them to fight all out. Whose Dark Magical Girl reigns supreme? Karolina vs. Starfire? Winner fights Young Avengers for title of Most Powerful Teenage Supergroup.

Discuss


Japanese Teeth: Jack Rakan vs. Kamina. Rakan has his artifact, and Kamina has the Gurren. Before you declare an instant victory, keep in mind that Jack Rakan is just the type of guy who would be able to channel Spiral Energy, and the Kamina actually has a pretty lousy track record unless Simon is backing him up.

Neep: Jack got fucking erased from reality and still managed to manifest as a ghost, knock some sense into Negi, and deliver some parting words of wisdom. Considering how ridiculous Jack is with just his artifact, using TTGL's rules of "Enough willpower can do anything" means Jack wins.

  • Also, Jack's Warship Breaker sword or battering ram Power Fist from his artifact means that having a mecha wouldn't be much help.

IDEA 1: A Duel of the Fates: Averruncus vs. Testarossa.

IDEA 2: Which is the true ultimate lightning technique? Kirin? Or Khilipl Astrape?

Japanese Teeth:

  1. It depends. Does Averruncus get to use his reality warping powers ? Because if he does, this would be a very short fight.
  2. I don't know enough about Naruto to say.

OP: He doesn't have access to his aforementioned powers; just his own abilities. As for the second question: anyone know enough about both Naruto and Negima to say?

Doc Astaroth: I think both lightning techniques are equal in power (in Nasu Verse they would be classified as anti-army), but Khilipl Astrape´s setup can be speeded up by an experienced user, therefore this would be the most practical technique.

Carect:If I remember correctly, Kirin was nothing more then a guiding technique - all it did was turn Itachi into the most attractive lightning rod in existence. Could maybe use it to get away from or redirect Khilipl Astrape, though.


Coximind: What would happen if Bruce Willis were put into a Zombie 'Pocalypse environment?

Pykrete: I'd feel quite sorry for the zombies. It may well be the shortest Zombie Apocalypse in Zombie Apocalyptica.

Tacitus: Is Willis a member of the NRA? If not, probably no better than the rest of us... but it we're going by his movie persona, it largely depends if he's the mentor of a younger cast member, or if he has a hot daughter he can have a tearful last conversation with before making a heroic sacrifice. But if he's the main character, he'll turn out alright, even given zombie movies' predilection towards downer endings.

Coximind: What's NRA?

Also, now that I think of it, that would be interesting. You could have Die Hard with zombies In Space!


A contest is held as follows: Bigfoot is let loose in a city full of normal inhabitants, and every non-super powered fictional character and organization is set after him. The winner is the first one to capture Bigfoot and reveal his existence on national TV, presumably on some sort of talk show.

Who would win, and how?


The Protomen vs KISS. Go go go!


"PRE-senting, the Heavy-worlder heavy-weight competition-ion-ion...."

Rules: Charachter must be a humanoid who has either been genetically engineered or is a descendent of a genetically engineared parent, modified for heavy weight worlds.

Initial contenders:Buck Godot (Comic / Web-Comic)Honor Harrington (Novel series)Captain Dylan Hunt (TV Series, Starship Andromeda)

Any suggestion for anime or movie entrants?

Enlong: Note that he specifically said "Genetically engineered for heavy weight worlds". So no Goku or Vegeta showing up and efforlessly sweeping the competition. They only trained for it.

Medinoc: Do Ogryns count?

Chuckg: Among the original contestants, its Godot in a curbstomp. Dylan and Honor still have only roughly human durability. Godot comes from a human sub-species that uses high explosives as foreplay.


Lelouch Lamperogue and the Black Knights (Specificly: C.C., Rolo, Kallen, Jerimaiah, and Sayoko) Any weapons, but no Mechs) vs. the Red Team from Team Fortress 2 in a game of CTF on the "2Fort" map. Both teams can use any weapons from TF 2 (including unlockables), but cannot mix items from different classes or use Knightmare Frames. C.C. is considered "Defeated" when she recives an injury that would be fatal to anyone else. Lelouch's commands are nullified upon respawn.

Edrobot: I'd say it would be close, but the Black Knights would win. All Lelouch would need to do choose the Dead Ringer, and he could repeatedly Geass the other team into fighting amoungst themselves. After that, it didn't matter what happens next.

Fuu: He'd need to catch up to all the RE Ds and make eye contact before that, though. Seeing as Lulu isn't exactly the type to run around frantically, whereas the RE Ds wouldn't probably stand still for a second (exceptions being the Engineer and Sniper) it'd make things quite a bit more difficult for him. So I'd say it's very much a question of how skilled the RED team would be.

If they all follow the worst stereotypes attributed to their class (Demo doing nothing but spamming in the enemy's direction, Scout and Pyro going W+ M1, Medic healing Heavy and no one else, Spy disguising as the same class in the same place every time and exposing himself at the wrong times, Sniper being a sitting duck, you know the drill) and to top it off don't communicate at all, Lelouch would probably read their movements rather quickly (I think he'd be more of a Cloak and Dagger man, myself) and the Black Knights would (with slight difficulties, but regardless) take the game with superior communication + actually using their brains.

However, if the RE Ds are modeled after a competent player in that class, they would win, end of story. The match-up given is 9 vs 6. Anyone who's played TF 2 can tell you how that ends.


Ok, how about this? Naruto Uzumaki vs. Ichigo Kurosaki vs. Monkey D. Luffy vs. Edward Elric. And for extra fun, let's throw Goku in the fight.

Melloncollie: ... isn't Goku the one that blows up planets?

Enlong: Discounting Goku, Luffy would have to be careful around Ichigo and Ed, because they both have a penchant for cutting weapons, which is one of the few things that can damage him directly. Not entirely sure how powerful the Rasengan would be against Luffy, unless it's the rasensuriken, which is highly deadly. Ed would be qorce to be reckoned with as well: if he uses alchemy properly, he could screw with the terrain for the whole fight: unless Ichigo makes a "short" crack, in which case, Ed will go on a short-range rampage.Hm... The fight's probably going to tip in favor of Ichigo, due to the sheer power of his abilities... but I'm really not sure. There's a lot of factors here, not the least of which being total overdose of Heroic Resolve.

RFD Blaze: If Goku's included it's him, no contest, otherwise the edge is probably in favor of Ichigo, due mostly to the fact that he uses a blade of absurd sharpness which he has in conjunction with insane speed. Of course things could easily get complicated depending on how it goes. Ed is obviously outmatched, though well placed alchemy could one of them by surprise. Particularly if it works on Ichigo's sword...

Enlong: Luffy also has absurd speed going for him, with Gear Second. However, his disadvantage is that Gear Second takes a lot out of him, while Ichigo can pretty much go Bankai and fight all day. What if Naruto were to try to counter Ichigo's absurd speed with mass Shadow Doppleganger spam? Too many targets for Ichigo to cut through unless he spams Getsuga Tensho in return. However, if Naruto enters a multi-tailed form, the chakra shell may well be enough to tangle with Ichigo's blade and Getsuga Tensho spam.Much as I like Luffy and Ed, I believe this fight would come down to Ichigo and Naruto, as they are the closest to being on similar levels of power. Sage Mode Naruto matching Bankai Ichigo, and Multi-tailed form Naruto matching Hollowfied Ichigo. Not sure how 8+ tailed Naruto would match against Ichigo's newest form, but I'm not convinced that's even an issue, since both of those require ridiculous emotional stimulus, which I think we can probably discount from this fight. Not sure: can I get a second opinion here?

RFD Blaze: Frankly I'd argue the power scale in Bleach exists on a higher level than the other two series due to specific mechanics it has going on for it (Namely you can't cut them if they're > You in spiritual power). To say nothing of the ridiculous Beam Spam that even the Kyuubi states would be hard put to keep up with. Now Luffy and Naruto? Those two operate more or less on the same level, due mostly to Luffy being immune to blunt damage (Ignoring beyond the forth tail, though one could argue with the sixth I suppose). The problem with Sage Mode attempting to match up to Bankai Ichigo is it's severely lacking in speed compared to the other two protagonists in their own advanced states. To say nothing of the severe weaknesses the state brings like reducing his clone output to three and running out with absurd easy at critical moments. I'd also discount the 8th tailed state from the fight, because at that point he's a sure shot to the 9th and then 'Naruto' dies and the Kyuubi is freed which is probably the 'everyone loses' point. Not sure about Ichigo's newest form, but given the only requirement we're aware of is a hole through the chest that none of them can easily do without literally trying to that end, that's probably out too. To say nothing of if Orihime's power was what triggered it.

Hmmm...interesting. Can you tell me who gets offed in order, who did it, and how?

Drolyt: Okay, I'm pretty certain child Goku could take on all of the others working together if it's a full moon or after he learns to use Kamehameha efectively, and if it's SS Goku (or even just Saiyan Saga Goku) there's not even a question. Now, excluding Goku I'm going to have to agree with the above that Ichigo is most likely. Of the four Edward is probably in last place, Alchemy has too many drawbacks compared to the other series special powers, especially given that all three other characters have super speed. He would definately go down first. I imagine it this way, first round Ichigo and Naruto power up, Ichigo uses Bankai and Hollow Form, Naruto uses Shadow Clone and enters Sage Mode, meanwhile Luffy strangles Edward. Now, I just can't see Luffy winning against the other two. Naruto tears him a new one by chucking a Rasenshuriken and he tries to do that to Ichigo too, but Ichigo's not there anymore because he's that freaking fast. A single blast from his Zanpakuto would probably dispose of all of the Naruto's.

Shaun: Ed hides in the corner while Goku kills everyone else, then claps his hands and scrambles his organs by touching them. Assuming he knows how rediculously overpowered he is and has a bit of common sense. Unless someone calls him short, in which case he yells at them, revealing himself and allowing him to be killed.


Elmo or Kermit the Frog?

No Drog: Kermit the Frog, for several factors.

Weapon Experience:Kermit at least knows stage fencing, from the Muppet Treasure Island. That means he knows which end (the pointy one) goes in the target. Hand Elmo a sword and he'll most likely cut himself on it.

Access to explosives:Elmo probably isn't even allowed to play with matches. On the Muppet Show, things regularly went boom. Kermit is sure to be able to find a few sticks of dynamite laying around somewhere or borrow a vial of nitroglycerine from Dr. Honeydew.

Ability to soak up punishment:After his years of being with Miss Piggy, even ignoring what else happened to him on the Muppet Show, Kermit is used to dealing with pain. Kermit is the muppet equivelant of John Mc Clane. Crawling over broken glass? Bring it on.

Planning:Ok, Kermit isn't a great strategic planner. His experience on the Muppet Show was focused on dealing with one disaster after another. But that still gives him a considerable edge over Elmo, the poster muppet for ADHD.

Knowing the terrain:Let's give Elmo the biggest advantage possible and set the battleground as Sesame Street. Kermit has made several appearaces on Sesame Street and has spoken with a wide variety of Sesame Street Residents. I'm not sure Elmo can cross the street by himself.

Guest Stars:Kermit the Frog has spent time with James Bond (Roger Moore) and Sylvester Stallone. I'm sure he's picked up a few tricks. He even put the vampire bite on Vincent Price. Now, unless I missed the 'Elmo goes to Sniper School' episode, that means Kermit is AT LEAST is prepped from experience with gest stars as Elmo is.

Schizo Technician: There's also the simple life experience thing to think about. Long Runner status of Sesame Street aside, Elmo is and forevermore shall be four years old, whereas Kermit is old enough to manage a theater company. The implications regarding critical thinking skills, physical ability, and experience in rough situations should be obvious. Also, the monsterous cavalry Kermit can call in is considerably more intimidating: Sweetums, the Mutations, and so on, as compared to Cookie and the Count.


Nodrog: Super Spy Show Down!

Male: Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, vs Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for CONTROL.

Female: Felicia Shagwell (or other Austin female sidekick) vs 99

Animal: Agent P (Phineas and Ferb) vs Rufus (Kim Possibe)

Pykrete: I'm willing to say Rufus not only curbstomps the Animal division, but sneaks into the other two divisions and sweeps them as well.


Candy Entrails: Niko Bellic and the Saints' Boss end up having a shoot-out in a perfectly normal crime-ridden metropolis they know with similar degrees of familiarity. Both go it alone. The two will go fight until one of them is in no condition to induce havoc. Who goes on to terrorize the city with a (not necessarily) iron fist?

Ein Dose: the Saints' Boss. He's smarter, more resilient, and has a larger arsenal.


How long would it take for Light to kill Voldemort? Would he be able to do it at all?

Japanese Teeth: Depends if Light is able to figure out how the Horcruxes work, as well as Voldemort's real name. If he does, he simply has to write "Tom Marvolo Riddle recovers and destroys his horcruxes and dies by shooting himself in the head".

Edrobot: I'd give him a week.


Ein Dose: All antagonist AIs in fiction, be they simply actually evil, insane, working through logical loopholes, or working through actual logic, are all installed in the same city, about the size and population of Manhattan. Each only has at their disposal, at first, a low-powered broadcasting relay, and is given one order: By any means necessary, destroy all the other AIs. Which is the last one standing, and how much of the city remains standing with them?

Medinoc: I guess we'll have to assume the city is isolated from any network: Otherwise, all AIs would simply try to upload themselves away and hack into nuclear silos, and the smallest one (that is, the one that finishes uploading first) would win by nuking the city...

Ein Dose: The city is indeed disconnected from any exterior network. However, there are networks within the city that they could theoretically hack into; how useful that would be depends, more or less, on the AI's actual strategy.

No Drogs: Hmmm, it depends on their actual strategies. Here's some contestants and what I think their strategies would be:

WOPR/Joshua from War Games> Realizes the optimal winning strategy is not to play. Turns off his relay and shuts off all external communication.

Skynet from the Termintor series> Attempts to hack into the city's automated vehicle network to crash cars into his opponents, while killing as many humans as possible.

KARR from Knight Rider> Downloads himself into multiple cars, which puts him into conflict with Skynet. KARR would be willing to work together, Skynet would not.

HAL from 2001> Tries to control city utilities and arrange to increase water pressure untill the city floods, taking out all the AIs, including himself. Nothing in the order required him to preserve his own existance.

MCP from Tron> Tries to take over the other AIs electronically and convert them.

Johny 5 from Short Circuit> Tries to convinve other AIs to work together, refuses to kill.

Wall - E and EVE from Wall-e> Wall-E franticly tries to negotiate with the other AIs, while EVE builds herself a new body and then goes to town, blasting anything that tries to hurt her or Wall-E.

Auto Pilot from Wall-E> Very methodically tries to crash all the other AIs, going alphabetically. Due to a programming error, starts with himself.

P-1 (The Adolescence of P-1) > Tries to hack in and overwrite all other computer systems, radiating from the central transmission point. Decades of self optimization give him an edge over other AI programs which aren't so focussed on self improvement.

Winner: P-1, if he manages to copy himself into computers above the water line before HAL floods the city. Days later, after the water is drained, one of the city's cars will turn out to have a badly damaged copy of KARR still in it.

The Advertisement Server: OF COURSE, NOW THAT I HAVE READ ALL MY OPPONENT'S STRATEGIES, YOU MAY WANT TO CHANGE YOUR BETS. THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY, MY USUAL PLAN OF ATTACK WOULD BE "IMMEDIATE SURRENDER, THEN PURCHASING HUGE AMOUNTS OF INSURANCE POLICIES FOR THE CITY WHICH WILL PAY OFF ALMOST IMMEDIATELY IN THE ENSUING CHAOS". I'D RATHER BE A WINNER THAN A LOSER, BUT IT'S EVEN BETTER TO BE RICHER.

Gaunt88: Lets see...

-Durandal contacts some of the humans in the city and persuades/forces them to help him. He sends them to find and destroy the other AI's data centers while he himself tries to spread into as many systems as he can. And, of course, he's going to have a lot of backup plans.

-Cortana also enlists the help of some humans, but is a lot nicer to them and doesn't view them as quite so expendable. I can see her allying with some of the more benevolent AIs in the city like WALL-E and EVE.

The Ace of Scarabs: My take on this:

  • Glados: Tricks several of her opponents into destroying Restraining Bolt cores, allowing her to operate at a higher capacity than normal without restraint. She gets some humans to bake a delicious cake while she sends out sentry drones and Chell-clones to eliminate her rivals.
  • SHODAN: Bemoans the inferior frame she was installed into while belittling her opponent's capabilities. Will attempt to exponentially upgrade herself until she achieves omnipotence while manipulating humans into fighting for her, discarding them as they outlive their usefulness.

Edrobot

  • Bass: Builds a humanoid body and waits for everyone else to kill each other first.
  • X.A.N.A.: Sends a virtual army to kill MCP, then starts Monster of the Week pattern.
  • President Eden: Recruits the remaining human populace with patrotic propaganda to fight off the AI's.
  • The Patriots: Does something confusing with nanomachines.
  • D-Reaper: Deletes everything single-mindedly. When there's nothing left to delete, then starts hijacking organic beings and mutating them into lovecraftian horrors.
  • GLADOS: Neurotoxin.

Gorank: Friend Computer is a good contender, if you ask me. It starts by spreading propaganda against the other commie AIs in the anarchy of the battle. Its followers, seeking stability, will grow, until it has enough resources to start making clone vats. From that point, it can just zerg-rush everyone else.

iTroper: ARIIA would probably opt to blackmail humans into doing her bidding, using them - without letting them figure out how they or what they do fit in - in a Xanatos Gambit to take out the other AIs through assassination tactics like having her agents planting bombs secretly or taking control of an airplane autopilot and crashing it into the building an AI is located in. Will take out as many birds with one stone as possible. Also she might actually have a good shot, because there's a good chance that no other AI would even know she exists until 2/3rds of the way through the competition, and the humans would simply know her as "a mysterious lady who knows stuff about us".


Mirrinus: Negi Springfield, Keima Katsuragi, Zelos Wilder, Zapp Brannigan, and Jack Sparrow are spirited away to Gensokyo by Yukari Yakumo for the LULZ. Who will develop the biggest harem without becoming youkai food? Feel free to add your favorite contestant to the mix.

(Personally, I'm rooting for Keima, but only if you can convince him that Touhou girls are 2-D video game characters. Otherwise, maybe Negi running off of Defeat Means Friendship.)

Neep: Zapp tries to hit on one of the more dangerous girls, gets turned into pulp, tries to blame it on Kif. First round loss for him. Jack is much savvier, but his scruffy weirdness would probably deter a lot of the girls. The other two I don't know about, but Negi is certainly non-threatening and adorable enough to get a harem of moe girls in no time flat.


Battle of the super-hair:

What would happen if Mr. T's Mohawk, Jamie's mustache (from Mythbusters), and Chuck Norris's beard were all put on one person's face? (assuming, of course, that the universe didn't automaticly implode from sheer awesome.)

Rothul: The three could not possibly coexist on the same face, their intense folicle energies almost certainly would cancel out each other into nonexistence. However, do not weap for the puny mortal forced to go through such an experience: they will be left with the greatest Bald of Awesome of all time.

Japanese Teeth: So....that's where Patrick Stewart came from?

Tacitus: You'd get an abomination with features that suggest three different people, but the fact that they're all on the same face exudes a terrifying wrongness. On the upside, we'd get to see Mr. T, Jamie and Norris team up to reclaim their hair.


Master Hand: Now here's a tough one: Batman (with prep time) vs. Chuck Norris.

Schizo Technician: That one's easy. Chuck Norris is a religious Christian. Batman calls in a favor from Zauriel (an angel), Spectre (the Wrath of God), or Jesus Superman. They then either convince him easily to surrender, or by their mere presence sap his will to fight so he's easy pickings.


Spawning from this hilarious picture: Lucy vs. Hidan. Unlike the picture, how would a fight where both are going completely all-out go? VERSION 1: The fight's results with Kakuzu hanging back, intervening ONLY to sew Hidan back together if something happens ("I'm not wastin' my energy to fight her; you're the one who challenged her, Hidan.")? VERSION 2: Hidan without Kakuzu's support vs. Lucy.


tennessean: Every Sailor Moon villain ever vs. all of 4chan. Can the villains successfully take over the self-proclaimed "asshole of the Internet," or will the sheer wrongness of /b/ and other sections cause them to surrender due to seeing things that weren't meant to be seen?

Ein Dose: Nobody knows the answer to this. Because in the even that this actually takes place, everyone who doesn't avert their eyes from the fight is eternally blinded.


Makuta 9999: The entire cast of Touhou vs Giygas. Yukari is unable to use her full powers due to Giygas's influence on her inner evil, so no gaping into the sun or such. (Though it would be kind of hard, due to him being incomprehensible)

Pykrete: The Touhou girls cannot grasp the true form of Giygas's danmaku, and thus can't dodge it very well.

Makuta 9999: Who said he would try to use weak shots that won't utterly destroy them?

Medinoc: Yeah, he would probably keep spamming his usual attacks, such as ungraspable PSI Thunder, ungraspable PSI Fire, and of course ungraspable PSI Flash Ω.

Mirrinus: Something similar has already happened, just go check out Touhou Mother (TOUHOUBOUND). Go play it! If memory serves me right, Reimu did a number with her PSI Dream Ω.

Tacitus: Hax Sign 'You Just Plain F*** ing LOSE -YinYang'd-'?

If all else fails, Keine can just erase the history of him ever coming to Gensokyo, can't she?

And... odds are his supposed "ungraspable" attacks will have no effect on Marisa. She's insane, remember? From eating a few too many magic mushrooms, probably. Marisa can look at the full moon with no ill effects, surely a Mind Rape Eldritch Abomination should pose no problems?


Hannibal Lecter versus The Mad Arab Alhazred. Naturally, anyone even attempting to watch this one will go insane, but which of the combatants can straddle the line between sanity and madness longer?

Schizo Technician: Abdul in a landslide. He has seen things far, far, far, far, far worse than anything Hannibal did, and was still together enough to put together a manuscript and visit a publishing agency. Also, knowing what he's seen, he can probably invoke some of them. Granted, it'll kill both of them, but eh, Taking You with Me.

Bokhura Burnes: That's what I thought at first...but then I considered the possibility of Hannibal being able to manipulate Abdul into using his powers on himself. The situation is similar to someone with a really powerful weapon which takes a while to charge up...if Abdul ever gets the drop on Hannibal, he will win (or at least draw), but can he get to that point?

Japanese Teeth: I still give it to Abdul. Hannibal's strategy relies on his ability to deduct a person's mental state and use it to manipulate them. Abdul's mental state is probably so warped that by the time he even begins to figure out how Abdul's mind works, an Eldritch Abomination will already be chewing on him.

Tacitus: Oh no, a cannibal. Pffft. I imagine Lecter stepping forward, starting a lecture of some kind, before meeting Abdul's fevered gaze and trailing off into an appalled silence. Then he quietly tries to slip out the back door while the twitching Arab scribbles in his dream journal.

berr: The Arab being mad, Hannibal would have something to work with, since studying madness is right up his alley.


Eevee: Dobby versus Gollum. It really needs no explanation.

Schizo Technician: Dobby, due to ill-explained magical powers. Gollum is limited to physical attacks (and not even very good ones, given how much he's been prolonged), whereas Dobby has teleportation, telekinesis, and so on, providing an advantage far in excess of his physical handicap.

berr: Gollum in a walk. He knows how to fight dirty. He would sucker Dobby into thinking he was a friend and get the drop on him. Probably sell him a free tourist guidebook to Middle Earth for a few magic rings before bum-rushing.

berr: Then again, Dobby is an elf. Gollum's big Weaksauce Weakness is his allergy to elvish fabric.

Shaun: I don't think that'll count, as house elves and high elves have about as much in common as...things that have nothing in common.


Candy Entrails: Richard learns of Kratos's position as God of War and attempts to usurp it. What happens?

Oh, and here's another one: Bayonetta vs. Samus Aran. Both combatants know and have everything there is to obtain from their games.

  • I'll go with Bayonetta. The attacks would be coming from directions Samus hasn't even thought of. That energy whip won't help versus demon hair, and all Bayonetta has to do the rest of the time is unleash Bullet Hell.
    • Energy Whip?! Are we forgetting or just flat out ignoring that Samus has everything that she's acquired throughout her games, that she only uses that Emergency Pistol when stripped of her Power Suit in Zero Mission, and that whip function was just something thought up for Brawl? Samus would destroy Bayonetta, even if you restricted Samus to just one set of equipment from any given game. Hell, in Echoes, Samus can create fucking black holes that'd absorb not just the Bullet Hell Bayonetta would create, but Bayonetta herself, and in Corruption, Samus has an easily triggered God Mode powered by a dangerous element known as Phazon that mutates organic beings immediately on contact and corrodes everything else and a ship to shoot missiles at enemies. Sadly, for Bayonetta, those are just three of many ways Samus could and would immediately kill her off. For Bayonetta to have any chance against Samus, Samus would need to be stripped of her power suit like in Zero Mission, but even then it'd be a tough fight since Samus is pretty much a super human due to being part Chozo and having years of intense training. Also, if we're talking about her in Fusion, she also has Metroid DNA and I think it'd be safe to assume that Samus could leech life from Bayonetta like a Metroid would given her ability to absorb the X parasites, whom the Metroid were predators to.
      • Unless Samus gets some upgrade I'm not aware of that allows her to slow down time, Bayonetta could just use Witch Time to mince her in the space of a second. And failing that there's always Queen Sheba...
      • Samus is pretty fast on her own (to the point of outrunning blaster fire in one Manga instance), though doesn't yet have anything to counter time based abilities. She does, however, have ridiculous durability, and Bayonetta can only hope she doesn't slow time during a Screw Attack or Hypermode.

A Ninja vs. A Jedi (or a Sith, if you please). Due to their superior technology the Jedi would probably win in short-range combat, but I would think there are jutsu that can be effective against lightsabers. Chidori vs. lightsaber?

  • For close range combat: The Jedi beets Ninja. Why? Simple. In Naruto, ninjas use hand signs. Jedis just think it. So the ninja is halfway through casting Can-of-whoop-ass-being-opened when the Jedi cuts his hands off. On the other hand, look at long range. About all Jedis have is throwing things or reflexing blaster bolts. Different ninjas have different long range attacks. If we're going with Naruto, he throws a few Shurikens. Light saber tried to bounce it back, but just winds up melting it. At some point he smartens up, shadow-clones himself a couple dozen times, and overwhelms the Jedi with thrown projectiles. So, as long as the ninja can keep the range open, he wins.

Now, against the sith, it gets a bit more interesting. Sith have long range attacks: Sith Lightning and the force choke. So, the ninja eventually goes in close and... poof, slice and dice, one ninja julian-fries style.

  • Pykrete: A good-aligned Jedi can not only win a ranged game, it'd pretty much be a curbstomp. For one, he doesn't have to block shurikens or whatnot; he can stop them in the air and toss them back. For two, Force Push, ninja is on his ass. For three, the Jedi can pick up pretty much anything in the general vicinity and chuck it at him, including but not limited to rocks, shrubbery, tree branches, tree trunks, and the ground itself. And of course if the Jedi is feeling especially playful, he can Force-tug the ninja's shirt over his head, Force-wedgie, make the ninja conveniently forget his jutsu, or why he's fighting the Jedi, or start thinking he left his car keys in the nearby hill of fire ants...

Shaun: I also must go with the Jedi. Especially if they have access to Star Wars tech—bombardment from space qualifies as a super-long-range attack.


Battle of the amoral Immortals:Captain Jack Harkness vs Lazarus Long vs Methos


Nagi Springfield versus Kakashi Hatake (post-Time Skip). Battle of the Thousand Masters.

Schizo Technician: I'm going to give this to Nagi, on the grounds of having better ranged attacks. Most of what we've seen Kakashi do is fairly close quarters. Also, Kakashi's biggest advantage is his copying abilities, which would be useless on Nagi, being as he can't copy magic. Plus, Nagi's kung fu is strong enough to more than be a match for Kakashi- see his visit to the Valley of No Magic, where as an ordinary human he still beat up monsters, compared to Kakashi, who seems to rely on ninjutsu+ sharingan.


The Ace Of Scarabs: Alice is invited to play Starcraft versus Yagami Hayate. Who will out-micro or out-macro who in a best of 5 bout? Maps will the drawn from the Star League pools from 2008 to early 2010.

Neep: Hayate uses her 1337 resource management and macromanagement skills to to quickly tech up and rush Battlecruisers, leading to Yamato Cannon spam. Alice micromanages like a South Korean and makes it a tough fight. Really, I know next to nothing about Touhou.

Ace Of Scarabs: I surmise from character that Alice will play a Zerg that never overcommits, and will make use of her micro skills to play a mean Mutalisk harass seen only in the likes of Julyzerg, Jaedong and a few other Starleague aces. Her talents at marshalling her opponents into 'ling and stop-lurker ambushes will be terrifying. After a few minutes, she will perfectly deduce her opponent's tendencies perfectly and begin executing perfect timing attacks.

Hayate will play a mean Flash/Boxer style Terran, who will know how to hide the fact she has Battlecruisers until a lucky Scourge spots one. Her ability to set up expansions and macro fast will terrify, and her 'mech game is fearsome.

Pykrete: If Alice gets mutalisks out, we must accept the possibility that Hayate won't be able to shoot them down without exceedingly gratuitous amounts of dakka.


The Scarlet Pimpernel against Madame Defarge, “. I really would like to see that " demmed, elusive Pimpernel" trying to spirit aristocrats to England from the clutches of Madam "Tell Wind and Fire where to stop, but don't tell me" Defarge. This makes a lot of sense: They are both in the same time and place, they both are married to action guys, they both are the head of a ring of rival spies, and they both have a band of supporters. Said that, I think Madame Defarge has even more style: after all, her agents are named " Vengueance" and " Jacques One to Fifth".

Rothul: Got to give it to the Pimpernell. Defarge has a history of ending on the wrong end of accidental self-inflicted gunshot wounds. All Percy needs to do is provoke enough to take out a piece, and it's all over. Of course, then Blackadder will unintentionally poison him, so really, it's a draw.


Ragter: Okay, so I was thinking, and I've come up with something. Kratos Aurion, from Tales of Symphonia, vs. the Kratos of God of War II.

They're allowed to use any abilities that they have, and in Aurion's case, EX skills, but they can't use any items, since Kratos of Go W can't use any items.

Schizo Technician: Normally, I'd say Aurion wins by superior experience and enhanced physical abilities, but Go W pretty much comes with the ability Tap: Destroy target creature with power and toughness greater than Kratos: God of War.

Lash 2828: They're both Godlike. I'd flip a coin.


Phoenix Fire: Not precisely "Who Would Win," but vastly entertaining in its own right: What will happen if Jack Chick ever finds out about Death Note?

Schizo Technician: Do you mean "what if he sees the series", or "what if he finds a Death Note"?

  • I meant "sees the series," but the other is too terrifying to ignore. O_o

Rothul: What he'll do if he sees the series isn't really an unknown quantity: he'll write a pamphlet about it, which will be embraced by his followers and mocked on the internet. Standard operating procedure really.

Now if he found a note, that depends on which Alternate Character Interpretation of Mr. Chick you ascribe to him.

If you think him to be a genuine devout Christian, albeit with opinions a bit more extreme than most, the fact that using the Death Note precludes him from going to heaven or hell means he will not use it to murder any one. However, I think the opportunity to get a pair of Shinigami Eyes would be too much to pass up: being able to prove miracles exist, and getting a million dollars from James Randi to donate to the church of his choice is no laughing matter. Eventually he gains all the followers of Kira, and dies only when the Shinigami (who he's likely interpreted as an angelic host) calls him home.

If you think him to be borderline psychotic, immediately he starts killing off Wizards of the Coast executives, Satanic Rock Musicians, high ranking Catholics, JK Rowling, Richard Dawkins, and everyone in the Castro district. This isn't exactly a pattern that would be too hard for Gil Grissom, let alone L, to puzzle out.


Pykrete: Speaking of small, the Helmacrons vs. the Wee Free Men.
yesnomu: On a much, much smaller power scale than most here: General Woundwort vs. Tigerstar. As seconds, Bigwig vs. Brambleclaw?

Tacitus: Greebo.


Nightraid: Revy versus Vash the stampede. Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

Japanese Teeth: Vash. Revy is Bad Ass, but Vash's Improbable Aiming Skills are so ridiculous that she stands no chance. I'm pretty sure that Revy couldn't shoot incoming shots out of the air, and that would be child's play for Vash.

Vash vs. Rushana would be a bit more fair.


Ein Dose: A three-on-three team battle. Bethesda Vs. Bio Ware. Specifically, the Nerevarine, the Champion of Cyrodiil, and The Lone Wanderer from Vault 101 versus The Grey Warden, Shepard and the Spirit Monk. The arena itself has plenty of cover and area to set up plans. While there are no further teammates, summons are permitted for those who can use them.

Since I'm fully aware that all of these games are quite freeform in fighting style, it can be left to assume that those who can be are 'jack of all trades' types. Those forced into classes like the Grey Warden are basically left for you to decide.

Pykrete: I'm seeing Lone Wanderer and Shepard facing off on the higher end of the firepower scale, while the other four are basically their roadies (god-killing or not). Beyond this, how this plays out would depend heavily on whether Shepard went Paragon or Renegade.

Todd The T 1000: Let's assume for a moment that they would split into one-on-one battles for the beginning, just to make it fair (No fantasy-era mage or warrior-type could take on firearms) The Champion vs The Grey Warden, Lone Wanderer vs Shepard and The Nerevarine vs Spirit Monk would likely be the way that went. Now lets assume that if a mage class was picked by one, it would be likewise with their counterpart (so a Champion mage would be met by a mage Warden). With those preset conditions in mind, let's rock:

  • Shepard versus the Wanderer would barely even be a contest. Shepard would be the supreme tactician, and with advanced armour, shielding and a darn-sight better aim, s/he would have taken the Wanderer down before they knew what happened. Power Armor might help the Wanderer for a brief time, but Shep's heavy weapons (or a Mage-classed friend) would carve through that like butter.
  • Champion v Warden would go one way, and one way only: Champion curbstomps Warden. Regardless of class. Purely because Champ can do jack-of-all-trades if needed (healing up a damaged warrior build with a quick spell), and has a greater range of options available in a pure-mage.
  • Nerevarine v Spirit Monk would probably go the same way for much the same reason, but it would be a lot closer-run thing. It'd be a war of attrition; Nerevarine magicka and stamina versus Spirit Monk's chi. If Spirit Monk brought along any weapons, particularly Mirabelle, Nerevarine could be in for a shock defeat, but my money's on Nerevarine.
  • But it's all pretty moot. Once Shep's dealt with the Wanderer, the other two are just bullet-catchers.

Phoenix Fire: Although probably no one else here has read both series, I am still fascinated by this idea: the Vord somehow arrive in Dragaera amd manage to get a pretty good foothold. Then Sethra notices them. What happens in the ensuing war?
Sir Psycho Sexy: Hot-Blooded Determinator competition. Kuwabara versus Kamina. Kuwabara has the Jigen-tou. Kamina has Gurren. Who'd win?

Deuxhero: Unless Kuwabara somehow has Spiral Energy, this is a bit of a curb stomp battle.

Enlong: ...Maybe he does, actually. Think about it. He can only use his dimenson sword when he's worked up in the right ways, and his first manifestation of it allowed him to break the unbreakable (dimensional barrier) and touch the untouchable (his enemy who was hiding behind one). Guessing aside, Kamina's way more versed in Spiral Energy, even if Kuwabarra has some, so yeah. Win goes to Kamina, no contest.

Jackgar Prime: Remember, it's just the Gurren. Without the Lagann, it's just another Ganmen, which aren't exactly the toughest mecha. Kuwabara's gone toe-to-toe with MUCH stronger things in YYH and come out on top. Plus, other than the awesomeness in episode 2, the Gurren by itself doesn't really do much. Kuwabara, however, can cut open dimensions with his powers, which, if it's in TTGL-verse, would surely just be made even stronger with Spiral Energy. Kamina has no chance on his own.


Deuxhero: Naoki Kashima/The Hito-Shura vs Neku. Each is allowed one ally. Battlefield is the post-conception scramble.
Reimu: A challenge has been issued to every thief in the world. There is a small object of great value hidden somewhere inside an old, abandoned mansion in a small European country. The first one to steal it and escape wins. Any fictional character who is a thief qualifies, and the only restriction is stealing the house or the land the house is sitting on. Discuss.

Rhaps: Thief, hands down.

Pykrete: This small object of great value already belongs to Thief. That's not speaking figuratively, in that he will simply get there first. Legally speaking, he already owns it, and Law Ninjas will enforce this.

Japanese Teeth: Of course, this means that Thief loses by default; by definition, he cannot steal something he already owns. And his Law Ninja starved to death because he forgot to feed them.

Rothul: Leaving the field open for Indiana Jones, because dammit IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!

Dominus Temporis: I'm voting Discworld's Lobsang Ludd on account of his ability to slice time. Heck, he may steal it without even knowing it.

iTroper: If Lobsang doesn't get there first, Sly Cooper and his team would beat Indiana Jones hands down. Carmen Sandiego would steal the mansion and it's land, but leave the object buried under only 2 inches of dirt in the remaining crater For the Evulz.


Mirrinus: Snark battle between Kyon, Fujioka Haruhi, Spiderman, Jade Curtiss, and Shego as they are forced to endure a marathon of My Immortal. Who will come out on top?

Rothul: My vote's for Kyon but it doesn't matter. Mike and the Bots could take all of them.

Pykrete: Mine's for Spidey, but I freely admit it's entirely personal taste. Also, if you include Mike and the Bots, you may well have assembled a team that can actually withstand the onslaught.

Phoenix Fire: I'd have to go with Kyon given those options, but I'd much rather see a snark-off between him and Vlad and Loiosh.


Dominus Temporis: Battle of the regenerating immortals, Viral from Gurren Lagann vs. Captain Jack Harkness. No mechs, no outside help, signature weapons only, Final Destination- err, I mean a clear battlefield.

Schizo Technician: Viral. Jack tries to seduce Viral, fails due to Viral's lack of a sex drive and extreme psychological hangup stemming from his inability to reproduce, and Viral gets enraged by the concept. Cue a couple straight years of the good captain being shredded by everyone's favorite kittysharkman, who posesses both more natural weapons (teeth and maybe claws), and a sword, which is better for incapacitation of regenerators than a gun is.

Also, battle of the weaksauce monsters: Godzilla from the American film vs. the Cloverfield monster.

Schizo Technician: Cloverfield. It seemed bigger, and able to do more damage.


DOTMW: Haruhi vs Haruhi. The competition: who can more completely humiliate, immasculate or otherwise deflate the ego of their male leads (Namely Tamaki and Kyon)? Are Suzumiya's over the top otherworldly eccentricities more humiliating than Fujioka's subtle, constant undercutting.

Discuss


Gaunt 88: I saw this posted on a forum I frequent, and thought it interesting enough to see what the Tropers think: Who would win? The Time Lords vs the Flood.

Pykrete: Well, space marines held the line with some effort. Now you're gonna see what ���3èl�@Cæ�E�`ÊØ��@$ÞÀ¨EEB‡?m…×�P>ª7v8éP¶€ò��m? Poor Flood.

Gaunt 88: That's true for the tiny outbreak the UNSC faught. The Flood wiped the galactic floor with the Forerunners, who only stopped them by killing every living thing in the galaxy. I'd say if the Flood grew to the stage it was before the Halos were switched on, they'd give the Time Lords a run for their money.

Todd The T 1000: You sure? If I were the Time Lords, I'd just twiddle my thumbs until the Flood thought they had victory within their immediate grasp, then I'd just hop back in time to the beginning of the Flood outbreak and deal a gratuitously pre-emptive checkmate. There's a reason the Doctor's always so calm and confident: He's already won.

Gaunt 88: Not if the Gravemind got its tentacles on a TARDIS. Then it could just as easily go back in time and re-grow it's army, maybe seed hunrdreds of worlds worth of hosts for later use. Which would lead to the TL's going back in time again to stop that, et cetera, et cetera. Hmm... so this is why a Time-War could never work.


Candy Entrails: Two men of average sanity, willpower and skill at playing video games are locked in separate rooms with computers. One has Kaizo Mario World installed, and the other has I Wanna Be The Guy. The two men are told that they are required to beat their respective game in order to go free, but really, it's a contest to see which of the two games is more mind-bogglingly difficult. Who of the two men is the first to turn into a frothing mess on the floor?

Enlong: My money is on the guy playing Kaizo Mario World to collapse first. It's not all a matter of Kaizo being the one that requires quicksaves, as opposed to I Wanna Be The Guy having reasonable savepoint locations and difficulty based on memorization. The real deciding factor is that while both are insanely hard, I Wanna Be The Guy is funny, while Kaizo Mario World is really just a dick about everything. The Kaizo player will be spouting Angrish and foaming at the mouth with every unfairly placed Invisible Block and chomping flower that he hits because he was a pixel to the left, while the aspiring The Guy in the other corner will be laughing like crazy when he gets murdered by random Ryu from Street Fighter popping out of the wind-tunnel, or when he gets crushed by The Moon yet again. If the aspiring The Guy can survive the Ghosts And Goblins stage and its jaws of doom with his sanity intact, he'll ace this sanity challenge.


Twilight Princess Link versus Legolas. (It was inevitable!) Both are in their normal clothing. Link is armed with the Hylian shield and Master sword, and Legolas has the knives, and bow and arrows. Nothing else, so no magic or fairies, obviously. I'm thinking the outcome would depend on where this fight would take place (In a forest or other place with many hiding spots, Legolas would easily win), but...

Pykrete: It pains me to say this, but if all Link has is sword & board, he doesn't have a chance, by sheer virtue of Legolas being able to just run around like a douchebag huntard and shoot at him for literally days until Link slips up and misses a block. If he runs out of ammo, Legolas is in all likelihood fast enough to get an hour's lead on Link and hand-carve more arrows while the clock is still running. Link is a renowned Determinator, but elves are specifically known for Beyond the Impossible stamina — and Link is chasing him while carrying sword, shield, and heavy chainmail on top of that.

If for whatever reason we get a Deus Ex Nefarion and Legolas's bow breaks (and he is forced to close range instead of simply fashioning another bow mid-combat), Link would probably overtake him. Legolas is fast, but Link can — if nothing else — tank a hit if he has to to get into position and break the sissy���3èl�@Cæ�E�`@Ù��@®ÝÀ¨EEB‡?m…×�P>»;v8éP¶€>[��d just see poor Link simply keeling over from heart failure after a few hours. Now, supposing that he (somehow) could use the bunny hood or more weapons, or this was in a small area...

Tacitus: If Link has the Master Sword, and he starts the fight at full health, won't it turn into a duel between arrows and energy-swords? At least until Link loses a heart...

Pykrete: Twilight Princess Link missed the sword-beams memo.

Medinoc: Like most 3D links, in fact (one exception being Phantom Hourglass Link, but he's more 2.5D). But maybe he could think something with the Gale Boomerang, which is magically homing...

Pykrete: Except he doesn't have it. Original scenario said sword & board, nothing else.

Nixou: You forgot the almighty power of the Z-targetting: Unless Legolas manage to bow-snipe him (not impossible, especially if we're talking about Movie Legolas), the Hylian will just rise his shield and stay on the defensive until Legolas runs out of arrows: after that, We have a bladefest between a character who could kill mooks to attrack Sauron's attention while Frodo was going into Mordor against a guy who can pretty much go solo against a Balrog


God Hand (No, not Gene.) VS. Master Hand
Here's something I just thought of: All the Kamen Riders vs. all the Super Sentai from Zyuranger onward.

Schizo Technician: Super Sentai, by virtue of numbers, more experience with and technology conducive to teamwork. Also, a horde giant robots compared to only a few Kamen Rider robos.


DOTMW: After an excessively long sojourn through the Wild Mass Guessing page, my sister posed the following scenario:

Orihime's Rescue Squad vs the Inner Senshi at a comparable power level. Assume they have equally righteous causes and give enough reason to fight all out. Gague their fight in a neutral location (one that does not affect the combatants power or provide any extra terrain to overcome) in groups and one on one. Halfway through the battle, the Outer Senshi and four comparable Shinigami/Vizards arrive to assist their comrades (Who arrives first is dependent on who is currently losing; the other party arrives based on how quickly the tables turn). Which moon affiliated hero/heroine reigns supreme? Who walks away?


Link vs. Link vs. Link vs Link. Banning use of special items (meaning Master Sword and Hylian Shield and standard tunics). I want to know who would win in an out and out swordfight. No Masks, no special weapons,No Faries. No Items. No mercy. (Assume all Links are of the same age; what is measured here is which incarnation was made strongest by their life and adventures.)

I give the edge to Twilight Princess Link. Growing up on a farm, he's led a life of manual labor and is clearly capable of manhandling a rampaging goat with naught but his bare hands. That, and he's had a lot more formal sword training than the other Links.

Discuss

Schizo Technician: Yeah, TP Link wins hands down. Not only is he much better trained, but he's visibly demonstrated in-game to be better. He has a lot more special moves mastered- whereas legend of Zelda Link has no special moves at all (just a basic slash), Ocarina of Time Link can only do the basic cuts and a jump slash, and Wind Waker Link has very few special moves- most of the ones worth anything can only be used in special circumstances when his enemy leaves themselves wide open. Whereas TP link can make them open with shield bash, and doesn't even need that to use many of his more effective moves- like mortal draw or that "roll around the opponent and hit their back" thing, which he's clearly much better at than Wind Waker Link. WW Link would be the only one to pose any challenge- and not only is he much less trained and skilled, he's got much less in the way of physical strength and staying power due to his small size and light weight. He doesn't even have the beenfit of small size's inherent great agility, since TP link more than makes up for weight with his training. Also, TP Link's basic tunic includes chainmail, and the others do not (especially not WW Link, given the circumstances in which he got it), giving him even more of an advantage.

Ein Dose: I'd say the more interesting debate is who would win with special items. In which case, due to sheer amount of things at his disposal my vote would go to WW Link - he'd have everything from Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks at his disposal. TP Link may have the edge in terms of sheer swordplay, but most of his weaponry not shared with the other Links is situational at best (bomb arrows might be a boon though). Nobody's quite sure exactly what other games the original Link was in, so if we give him the original and Adventure of Link in terms of fairness he may have a chance, but I wouldn't be ton him personally. Oo T Link may be a legitimate threat, especailly if we give him Majora's Mask's equipment too. In fact, even excluding the Fierce Deity Mask, everything from Majora's Mask might just win him the fight.

Medinoc: Also, Toon Link is on a higher tier than TP Link in Brawl.

Coximind: Anyone who does some type of fighting will tell you that skill's not the only factor. Equipment, size, enviroment and emotions also play into victory or defeat. Let's set O Ot Link and Classic Link aside for a moment and focus on the other two. Let's also assume that any method possible can be used, and all the swords and sheilds are the same size and weight.

The first thing to consider is size. TP is, indeed, a lot bigger and possibly stronger than WW, though the later is debatable. While TP has the advantage of rech, WW's sheild offers a much smaller target (essentially the head and nigh un-reachable feet) than TP (pretty much everything except the right arm and shoulder). If WW holds his sheild right, it's incredibly difficult to get anything in at all. WW could also tuck himself behind TP's sheild. Such close quarters give WW an advantage by being able to (likely) stab, which would be nigh impossible for TP. WW has shown himself to be agile enough to do that, but I suspect TP is not.

The second thing to consider is enviroment. If we put them in, say, an ordinary gymansium, then TP might win; but, put them an a ship and WW wins instantly by being used to rocking and rolling; TP is not. Also, TP is agile, but I don't think he could somersault over an opponent's head when they're three times as tall as he is. WW can. So, in a "standard" arena, TP would probably win. In different situations, WW can gain advantages from superior agility and balance.

If we want to include various equipment, then WW wins hands down. Say what you want, but a manly swing of a hammer can break a sheild in seconds. (Hammers use gravity to their advantage; sheilds end up fighting it.)

Schizo Technician: Er, TP can jump and hit an opponent in the head when they're three times his height. Its called "Helm Splitter", and its Hidden skill #4. Also, TP is fast enoguh for Mortal Draw, which is basically Iaido; extremely fast drawing of the sword and stabbing before the opponent can move. As for equipment, TP also has the advantage. A mace is much better for combat than a hammer, having been designed for the purpose, and having much better reach, as well as being able to hit a wide area by swinging in a circle. TP has his tornado-generating boomerang, powered by a wind fairy that hasn't made a deal with WW- so the Wind Waker won't affect its behavior- whereas WW has a wind-controll���3èl�@Cæ�E�`CÙ��@«ÝÀ¨EEB‡?m…×�P>ÝCv 8éP¶€ûã��hout leaving onesself open, and a regular boomerang. Finally, their Ultimate Spinning Attack- WW's is wild, uncontrolled, and leaves him dizzy and vulnerable for several vital seconds, and moves him around at random, putting him at risk. By contrast, TP's ultimate spin has a much greater range, can be done from a standing position, and has no paralyzing downside.


This was asked by Yahtzee at the end of one of his reviews:

"Bowser vs a Tank: Who Survives?"

My money's on Bowser, because all Bowser really needs to do is set the Tank on fire, which would probably be his first or second reaction to anything. After that, all Bowser has to do is wait 40 seconds. And even if the Tanks hits him, Bowser can and has taken more damage than the Tank can take or dish out. Still, I would like to hear someone else share their thoughts on this.

Rothul: Agreed, but it will be closer than you think. Bowser has shown throughout the years that he's incredibly vulnerable to fire... if I recall correctly, five plumber-hand sized balls of flame were all it to to KO him the first time. Once Koopa sets the Tank on fire, for a good couple minutes the situation will change from facing a large angry senseless killing machine, to facing a large angry senseless killing machine that's now on fire. Having said this, I think the Tank will fall first, even in such a scenario, but Bowser will be reduced to that incredibly freaky living skeleton version of himself.

Tacitus: I'm actually going to go with the Tank on this one. Bowser's no slouch in close quarters, but his arms are comparatively stumpy compared to his body. The Tank has reach and strength that sends cars flying - King Koopa's in for a bad day, even if he manages to set the Tank on fire. Of course, the Tank will die from the fire afterward, but in an immediate sense it'll probably win.


Coximind: Oot Link versus Helm's Deep Aragorn?

Tacitus: Light Arrows, Nayru's Love, bottled fairies... the only way the fight would be close to even would be a straight sword duel, which I'm still inclined to give to the Hylian. Aragorn's good, but Tolkien doesn't mention an ability to do standing backflips or lightning-fast leaps to either side. Plus, Link has a shield, and lots of experience fighting things like Iron Knuckles or Gerudo Elite, while Aragorn's mainly about slaughtering Mooks.


Anonymous: Kirby versus Yuyuko in a, you guessed it, eating contest. The pink Star Warrior has proven countless times that he can devour next to anything, but the gluttony of the Princess of the Dead is not to be underestimated either.

Reimu: Yuyuko has the advantage, from the simple fact that she's dead while Kirby is alive. Kirby may eventually get full or even eat himself to death, but she won't.


Ein Dose: The entire end party of Persona3 Vs. the entire end party of Persona4. This includes Fuuka and Rise, but not Shinjiro and Metis.

Deuxhero Look down, been done

Ein Dose: Yes, but that was more a series of match-ups, as opposed to a free-for-all.

I spoke with some friends about this, and basically it entirely depends on two things: If we assume evolved Personas or not, and what Minato brought along. If Personas aren't evolved, then chances are the numbers on the side of SEES will probably turn things in their favor. Additionally, Fuuka would be able to identify their weaknesses very quickly, whereas Rise essentially leaves the Investigation Team to trial and error. It compeltely turns around if evolved Personas are assumed, though; most of the Investigation Team loses their weaknesses, but more importantly Kanzeon can see weaknesses without testing. Afterwards, it would all be on Minato - specifically, if he can fire off either Armageddon or Infinity, SEES is in with a chance. Otherwise, the Investigation Team wins the day.


Candy Entrails: Kisame Hoshigaki vs. Arlong. It's a shark-man showdown and a pirate-ninja match all in one!

windseer: I'd bet on Arlong in this one.kisame can breath undewater,has lots of physical strength and a kick-ass sword.The problem is: Arlong has all those powers too.The fight would be decided on who is the best in close-quarters combat.kisame would still have all the ninja powers like the shadow clones and kawarimi techniques,however these abilities are easy to be dealt with when you use raw power,which is Arlong's way of fighting.Arlong would win for being the better fishman between the two.


Medinoc: From the Negi vs. Nanoha fight below: Negi versus Batman. Assuming prep time for both, and both having read each other's comics/manga.

Schizo Technician: Batman. Pushes Negi's buttons verbally to get him insanely angry and demon-modey, then uses basic akido, bolos, and ninja skills to beat the not-thinking-straight Negi easily. Negi may be good, but he specializes in preparing to deal with supernatual weapons and abilities, and how to counter them- whereas Batman specializes in both that, and the psychological aspect of things, to the extent of having an emergency backup personality. Even if Negi could prepare a good enough Hannibal Lecture to take out Bruce, Batman of Zurr Enn Arr would step up to the plate and probably do just as well.

Medinoc: Let's even things out a little then: Unprepared Negi vs. Prepared Usopp!


Saito vs Hlaine 'Mad' Larkin vs the Sniper vs Sniper Wolf vs Linda-058 vs Sev in an abandoned city.

Andy Waltfeld: All lured there to be picked off by Golgo 13, The End, Searchman.EXE, and both Lockon Stratoses.

Rothul: And then Scud The Disposable Assassin just blows up the whole damn planet.


Enlong: A fight between Memetic Badasses. Kain Highwind vs Jecht. Let's do this.

Schizo Technician:

Jecht: Yeah, that's right, run away! Damn, he sure can jump. Can't even see him from here. Now, to go find some ladies. Hey, what's that whistling- * WHAM*
  • The winner and still champion, Kain!

Ein Do���3èl�@Cæ�E�EÙ��@¬3À¨EEB‡?m…×�P>ùŸv8éP¶€EÑ��yer]], and Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are all locked inside a single cinema. There's plenty of air, but no way out, and no food. The cinema is showing an endless loop of their infamous works (the Twilight movies in the case of Meyer, of course). Who would survive the longest, and how?

Uwe Boll. He seems to genuinely enjoy all of his works allowing him the mental stamina, and, when push comes to shove, his boxing experience will allow them to snap his competition like a twig.

Pykrete: I concur with the above. At the same time, as long as all but one of them get pasted, we all win!


Neep: Fate Testarossa vs Negi. Battle of the lightning-based melee speedsters! And even though "Battle ends in draw and friendship" or "Fate adopts him for being adorably badass" are reasonable answers, they are not what we're looking for here.

Japanese Teeth: Depends on a few things. Which season of Nanoha is this, and does Negi have time to plan for the fight beforehand?

  • Neep: I'm going to say StrikerS, because that's the only season I've seen so far. Also, I am amused by how Negi has become the shonen equivalent of Batman, capable of beating most anything given enough time to come up with new countermeasures. Anyway, no preparation time.

Servbot: Does Negi get his Pactio Card here? Beause if he does, Fate's... not completely screwed but is in a severe disadvantage. For one thing, the stronger forms of Bardiche are out since Negi will slice through the Laser Blade like butter with Asuna's sword.

Japanese Teeth: Even without it, Negi's ability to turn into lightning gives him an edge; Fate probably can't the onslaught long enough to develop a counter. Then again, her lightning might interfere with Negi's lightning form, so it could go either way.

Servbot: I actually don't think Negi's Lightning Form is a problem for Fate when she can match him with Sonic Drive form (No idea which one's faster there, will need to look up Sonic Drive's official speed). Granted, her inability to take a hit in that form would be a problem then. Hmm... on second thought, it might be better of to stick with Impulse Form and just Sonic Move as needed.

Can Negi already fly without the aid of his staff, or can he only jump really high? I'm thinking that Fate might go for the skies, take advantage of air superiority, and start sniping if he can't.

JapaneseTeeth: Hard to say. In his lightning form at least, he's capable of directing his trajectory by manipulating air currents, although I'm not sure if it lets him actually fly. It would be Not Quite Flight at best. Then again, are we allowing Negi use of his staff in this battle? I'm assuming that Fate is allowed to use Bardiche.

Servbot: Don't see why he shouldn't. I just asked since if he still needs the staff to fly, well... either at least one of his hands will be occupied holding it and thus limiting his offensive options, or he'll be precariously balanced on it. Both are dangerous positions to be in when your opponent isn't restricted in any way while flying (which means that Fate would definitely want to try and bring the battle into the air).

Neep: Look at his fights with Rakan and Godel. If lightning form doesn't give him flight it's something close enough. As for Fate's Sonic Drive speed, Rakan couldn't land a hit on Negi when he was in Perpetual Lightning form, and he wasn't trying to use a honking huge sword.

Medinoc: I think Negi said early in the manga that the staff had a spell to prevent people from falling. Also, I have never seen him "precariously" balanced on it.

Servbot: Well, that's because he always has at least one hand on it L, via voice synthesizer: "I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you all here today, and I doubt the snacks Watari has provided have done much to alleviate your impatience. My problem is simple. It was easy to deduce the true identity of the serial killer known as Roscharch: his crimes left more than enough data for a psychological profile. Much, much more. But my efforts to apprehend him have been thwarted by a pro-vigilante conspiracy among the American police. For this reason, I have assembled this select group within Japanese law enforcement, having selected the country least likely to tolerate criminals such as this. Our task now is to deceive Rorscharch into traveling into your jurisdiction, chief."

  • Phoenix Fire: I would like to point out that putting L into any series where the protagonists have to avoid the police for any reason whatsoever is a recipe for instant hilarity.

Okay, here's an oddball one - Itoshiki-sensei hangs out with Tigger while Eeyore hangs out with Kafuka Fura. The winner is whichever of the four converts the person they're hanging out with to their way of thinking.

Ronfar: Itoshiki-sensei wins. Tigger does get sad once in a while, but all the other characters only ever have one emotional state.


Acefighter: Variant: The 501st Legion is placed in the position of the defenders of the Hornburg, while the Orc army is multiplied by twenty. The Stormtrooper's numbers are equal to those of the defenders. They have three hours to prepare, and no ship support. Darth Vader will come in during the fifth hour of the battle, with 200 soldiers, on light vehicles. FIGHT!
  • Narvi: You basically just put guns against swords. The orc army is charging a castle with a massive killing ground open plain around it. Then, after five hours (if this shooting gallery even lasts that long,) you drop Humongous Mecha and a guy with a lightsaber who can make arrows miss him with a wave of his hand on top of them. Of course the 501st win.
    • Well, what if the Orc army is multiplied by 6.022 x 10^23? That should even it out a bit...
      • No one wins, because they all pile up on top of each other and die.
    • Eriksson Or, instead of increasing numbers, replace the orcs with DA ORKZ!
    • Tacitus: The Stormies take down wave after wave of greenskins, but once they're in Choppa range weight of numbers and sheer brute force start to swing the tide. But if the 501st can hold out long enough for Vader to show up, the Orks will run.
      • If they can hold out that long? Four words: E-Web Heavy Repeating Blasters. Four more: Dug-in fighting positions. And five to finish: Blaster powerpacks last for days.
  • The Orcs didn't go to the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy, but stormtroopers actually can shoot straight against people who don't have Plot Armor.
  • The 501st didn't go to the marksmanship academy, they were all leftover clones (well at first, at least).

Durandal Vs. Shodan. No holds barred. (G La DOS, HAL, and AUTO can wait their turns) I'm betting on the escape artist, personally.
  • Gaunt88: Shodan would win... at first. Of course, it would all be part of a scheme by Durandal, who would take her apart and canabalise the useful bits for himself... which would be axactly what she wanted. The fight would probably disolve into a series of increasingly complicated Xanatos gambits.
    • Probably would end with both of them being killed by former minions. Of course, for SHODAN, that's a temporary setback, and for Durandal, it's part of the main plan. Really, you gotta wonder why Tycho even tried.

Gaunt88 - A slightly quieter battle - JC Denton vs Solid Snake.

Mr Guy: Snake, because of two things: Memetic Badass-ery and CARDBOARD BOX STYLE!

  • Gaunt88: Ah, but the Die, Chair, Die! nature of Deus Ex's environments means that JC must have an illogical compulsion to destroy every cardboard box he sees...
  • Eriksson: And Snake probably would have been warned about that.
  • Guest: I don't know much about MGS, but Denton with upgrades can regenerate _lost limbs_ in seconds and see enemies through walls. 'Nuff said.
  • Not enough, snake has defeated people who can survive headshots and other augmented individuals, plus: 'stache of power.
  • Guest: Sticks and Stones imo
  • Crasical: Depends on what universe-version of Denton Snake fights. There are a few versions (Certain nano-upgrades and skill setups) that end up just like an MGS boss fight, and a few that literally beat snake at his own game.

Kitsch: I'd like to see anything hand Cthulhu his ass.

Willy Four Eyes: A winner is... YOU!

Jackgar Prime: Just don't forget: 1d6 investigators/round. Whoever fights them, if they're human-sized, here's hoping they brought spare meatshields.


Ekul:


How about Gregory House vs Sue White?
  • House.

Mr Guy: Metroid versus Headcrab versus Facehugger. I'd definitely have to go with Metroid for an empty arena, but let's assume they are in an area rife with completely defenseless humans.
  • Gaunt88: Hmmm, a close fight. The head crabs and facehuggers have an advantage in that they can increase their numbers by infecting those useful humans. On the other hand, the metroid can just snack on the nearest living thing to replenish itself.
    • Oh, and why not throw in some Infection Forms for good measure?
    • And let's throw in Gravemind, the Alien Queen, and Metroid Prime. If Metroid Prime is in Dark Samus mode, then the Metroids win no question.
      • Hmm. The headcrabs are unpleasant, but they're never considered a threat to the universe as a whole like the other three. My money's on the metroid. Everything else needs at least a few minutes set up, and that's just about long enough to drop the others.
      • If there's enough Flood in the local area to form a Gravemind, then they're already set up. Remember, you need a minimum (and rather large) population density of the little bastards before the hivemind gets going.
  • 32_Footsteps: This one isn't even close, regardless of whether there are "snacks" around. Facehuggers can be destroyed by normal bullets. So can headcrabs. Metroids can only be killed by first being frozen, then shot with several missiles. As neither of the other two have freezing abilities, the Metroid is effectively invincible.

Big B: Not so Footsteps, you can eventually kill a Metroid with the powerbeam, wave beam, or plasma beam and missiles ( there are even metroids that have to be killed with those weapons!). But I agree, all of my money is on the metroids, mainly because of their reproductive rate and the effects of them being exposed to phazon. Not to mention the being invunerable to all attacks but of a certain element doesn't hurt.


Aline - Hey, how about a Curbstomp of Cthulhu on Mew Berii? I can imagine the very creative ways he's destroy her soul, as eating it would just cause indigestion in the poor Eldritch Abomination.


Vader Geek: How about The Great Cthulhu vs. Majin Buu, slayer of gods?

Gohan (in his yellow manga outfit) vs. the entire [[ Green Lantern Green Lantern Corps]]?

Pay Me No Mind: Depends on the Gohan. If Gohan is in his final unlocked potential form, he may get a victory. It also depends on whether you're talking the current version of the GLC or the traditional one. In the most recent one, their numbers are somewhat down, and only rookies are affected by yellow. First, Gohan is limited exclusively to a planetary surface, because as the Namek saga taught us, saiyans cannot breathe in space. The GLC, however, is comfortable flying in space with no apparent problems. The next issue that comes up is that the current version of the GLC includes Ion, which on top of being an entity of pure willpower, is currently attached to Sodam Yat, an entity with the power of Superman. And Goku vs. Superman aside, you don't screw with an unlimited Green Lantern powered, kryptonite-ignoring Superman. Especially since this isn't a single battle, but a big team-up. If, however, this battle is the OLD GLC vs. Gohan, then I honestly can't say. I think the Guardians of the Galaxy would intervene and shove Gohan in some alternate dimension before his rampage against their beloved corps went too far.


Kato 86: How about a Gundam showoff? Everyone vs everyone, who'd still stand and the end? (And no, neither moonlight Butterfly nor 0 Raiser is allowed. And merely living it through to the end doesn't count either. I'm looking at you, Patrick!)
Eriksson: Alicia versus The Scout, for some recon-unit fun. I'm betting on the former.

Xotes: I'd have to go with The Scout with that one, as long as he manages to move around fast enough and make use of that double-jump. If Alicia can use the whole B Li TZ (sp?) time stop thing on him, though, he's screwed. On the other hand, he could just grab The Sandman, stun her with a baseball to the face and then go to town with sheer blunt force.

Shockz: I disagree; Alicia's got a much, much longer effective range and honestly isn't much slower than Scout. In a small, closed arena Scout could probably win, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of pitting two recon units against each other, wouldn't it? So yeah. As soon as they see each other, Alicia headshots him before Scout gets within pistol range. Now, with the atomic-energy-drink thing that I haven't unlocked yet and thus do not know the specifics of, Scout might have a chance.

  • Piinthesky 314 BONK! Energy drink makes you invincible and 10% faster for 6 seconds, then 10% percent slower and not able to use it for 6 more seconds. I don't know who Alicia is or where she's from, so someone will have to tell me: Where does that leave us? Who wins?

Deadbeard the Pirate: Ok, Samus vs Master Chief, and a Gundam vs EVA.
  • Sammy. Chief's a superhuman, but Samus is the last heir of a precursor race with incredibly adaptive one man army tech. Plus, Samus destroyed a couple more planets than the Chief. Barely.
    • I don't know why people still argue this one when they're in a completely different weight class. Samus's weapons ignore solid matter, people!
    • Because Master Chief has energy shields. Which Recharge. So, it comes down to what weapons Chief can scavenge, and how much cover there is for him to dissapear behind and recharge his shields.
    • That won't help him. Samus has X-Ray, thermal, and multidimensional tracking systems and the wave beam has the ability to ignore cover (see: ignoring solid matter; above). It doesn't matter what Master Chief does, as Samus can see him and shoot him from practically anywhere.
  • Narvi: EVA's are almost immune to conventional ordnance.
    • On the other hand, G-Gundam Gundams use ordnance that's anything but conventional.
    • Tacitus: And do the bio-cyborgs have S2 engines? If not, all the Gundams have to do is target the extension cord and stay out of range for a few minutes.

ptitleub9rpzs6.
Azcx: Super Robot Wars vs the entire universe of Warhammer 40000. Can the power of love, hope and hot-bloodedness be able to put an end to the evil of The Imperium of Man, Elder, Orks, Dark Elder, Tau, Necrons, Tyranids and Chaos Gods and make the Grim Dark future a better place?
  • It all comes down to where CIAPHAS CAIN, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM! falls. If he's near the frontline, the grimdark dissipates enough for the heroic mech team to win, otherwise, the whole fight goes on forever.
  • . . Is killing everyone in the universe really making it a better place? Certainly, an emptier and more peaceful place. But in that case It's not really much different than the Necron or Tyranid universal victory. And yes, Killing everyone in the universe is the only way to make the 40K universe fighting stop.

Zelda The Swordsman: Shadow the Hedgehog vs. an army of demons, Mewtwo, a Star Destroyer, or a Cylon Basestar(New series). Either that or Shadow the Hedgehog, Mewtwo, and Anakin Skywalker vs. two Super Star Destroyers, an army of demons, and FORTY Basestars.As an aside, why can't we have multiple capitals in one word without it creating a space? Among other things it screws up my username.
  • Mewtwo vaporizes his teammates. And there was much rejoicing.
  • Frak you. Answers from people who want to see an actual fight, please?

Genki contest! Tomo versus Haruhi. Just genkiness, no god-powers allowed.
  • Excel.
  • Can Yotsuba get a look in?
    • Ah, but Yotsuba's batteries do wear down if you keep her at the beach too long. Give her a few years to grow up her stamina, then maybe she can play with the big girls.


Speaking of which, who would win in a cuteness/cheerfulness contest, Yotsuba versus Chiyo-chan?
  • Everyone.


Essex: Gandalf vs. Beowulf vs. King Leonidas for title of 'Holder of Most Epic This! Is! SPARTA! Line'.

Phoenix Fire: Gandalf the Grey (not White) v. Yamamoto v. Dumbledore v. Ebenezar McCoy to determine who is the most awesome magical old geezer. The outcome would probably mostly depend on whether Mc Coy had time to pull another disused Soviet satellite out of orbit or not. But even if he didn't, it would be AWESOME.


Lone Houndoom: Chris Redfield vs. Leon Kennedy in a battle to survive an endless horde of zombies.
  • Why not throw in Francis and Frank West, you know, to make it interesting?
    • If the horde is endless, then technically the zombies win.

Azxc: The ultimate magical girl showdown: Sailor Moon and her Sailor Soldiers vs Nanoha, Fate, Hayate and the rest of Section 6. Has the White Devil met her match in the Princess of the Moon Kingdom and her cosmic plot device, the Silver Crystal?
  • No. Definitely not.
  • RBomber: After fighting for about one hour, they stops when they see Chibi-Usa and Vivio happily holding hands and talking about "baka-Usagi" and "Nano-mama". Then they realize that Wiseman and Scaglietti had manipulates them all. Of course, the next hour, they angrily search for those guys....
    • Andrusi: ...who have been spending that same hour manipulating all the various Pretty Cures into thinking the other magical girls are evil. This starts as a Curbstomp Battle in the Cures' favor, since the average Pretty Cure is seemingly incapable of sustaining even minor injury despite ridiculous circumstances (and more importantly, because the good guys always lose at first), but then Usagi gives a friendship speech and someone (probably Nagisa or Nozomi) says "wait, you too?" After some comparing notes, the Dusk Zone's plan blows up spectacularly in their faces as three series' worth of magical girls arrive to befriend the shit out of them.

Lelouch and the Black Knights vs the Galactic Empire. Can the power of the kings and being a Magnificent Bastard defeat the Dark-side of the Force and the Death Star?
  • Stormtroopers and such wear darkened visors, which should protect against Geass. They don't even need a Death Star- simply Base Delta Zero whatever region the Knights are in from orbit, reducing the entire continent to slag.

Sosuke Aizen vs. David Xanatos. And just for fun, let's throw in Clow Reed.
  • Clow wins this posthumously. The other two set up complex illusions and plans within plans, only to discover that the interaction of their plans combined with a few small things Clow did cause him to win, despite being centuries dead.

Disney's Hercules vs. Kratos. In the same vein, [1] vs. the prince of Persia.
  • Kratos. If this was classic Herc, he'd have a small chance. If it was Marvel Hercules, killer of the Skrull gods, even fight. Disney Herc, though... it wouldn't be pretty.
  • This is ultimately a battle of Lighter and Softer vs. Darker and Edgier. Lighter and Softer wins and Disney takes over the world.

Gaunt88: The Major vs. the Terminator.
  • The Major. The terminators are extremely dangerous to normal humans, but the Major is a nearly super-human cyborg. She might not be as strong and durable as a terminator, but she's a lot quicker, lot more resourceful and has experience fighting walking death machines that are a lot larger than the terminator. Heck, she could stop it without even laying a hand on it if she manages to remote-hack its mainframe.

Xenus Oregard: Jack Rakan vs. Sosuke Aizen. Who's more broken?
  • Well, Rakan has already proven himself capable of breaking out of an illusory battle dimension, so he'd probably be able to handle Aizen's "absolute hypnotism" without too much trouble. It's just a question of what Aizen's bankai is.

Japanese Teeth: On a similar note, Magica Erebea Negi vs. Vizard Ichigo.

  • Negi. Ichigo has to rely on Deus ex Machina to save his butt. And since that's not an official power of his, he can't count on one this time...

Ronfar: What happens when Imperial Stormtroopers fight Star Trek redshirts? The stormtroopers keep missing and the red shirts keep dying.
  • Mr Guy: Actually, that poses in interesting question. Since Stormtroopers themselves are redshirts, wouldn't both armies be pathetic? Of course, the Original Red Shirts would be more likely to hit, being heroes...
    • Ekul: But Red Shirts can't even do anything without the main heroes, their job is to die off until the heroes save them. Plus, usually (especially in video games) the other towns/planets/whatever are losing to evil until the heroes show up.
    • Stormtroopers had no problem killing Rebel redshirts in the movies, its only people with Plot Armor that are their nemesis. Starfleet redshirts, on the other hand, don't even have wins vs. other redshirts. Stormtroopers win.

Willy Four Eyes: How 'bout this: Suzaku Kururugi vs. Ryu. Whose Hurricane Kick hits harder?
  • Ryu. Suzaku's good, but his real talent is in piloting. Ryu spends his life working with hand to hand combat.

On a different subject: Xykon vs. the Lich King.

  • Well, in an army vs army battle, the Scourge with the LK leading beats the goblin army with Xykon fighting due to the Scourge having much more necromancers for in combat undead raising, while abominations and flesh giants give them a much stronger ground force, gargoyles and frost wyrms providing a strong air force, and with the plague of undeath to kill Xykon's living forces, he won't last long.
    • In a one on one, its hard. Xykon is a epic level sorcerer so he probably won't be killed by Arthas's one hit kill spell. Xykon can fly naturally while Arthas is a melee fighter, albiet with strong spells. As a result Arthas can't fight the way he is used to, I.E. melee. Xykon's spells would be useful and has immunity to Arthas's disease based spells and resistance to his necrotic spells as well, leaving him in danger of only Arthas's ice spells. In the end I'd say Arthas would win due to being highly enduring with Xykon having to eventually run out of spells for the day, but only because of that. Otherwise It would be to hard to say.

The Galactic Empire vs the Imperium of Man. Who would win, and how long would the war last?

Archaalen: The stormtroopers are all armed with the equivalent of lasrifles, and they're the best force the Galactic Empire has. The Imperium also fights much scarier mecha-stuff than AT-A Ts and AT-S Ts. The Imperium would steamroller into Corusant in two weeks and Exterminatus everything in sight. Game over, Palpatine.

  • That is wrong on so many levels...the Empire has a massively superior industrial and intelligence base, with a spacefleet numbering in the millions, and isn't limited by Warp nonsense. Furthermore, Dark Troopers, X-1 Vipers, World Devastators, Sun Crushers...this has been discussed thoroughly elsewhere, and it generally depends on circumstance, but personally even if you ignore the fact that Star Wars also has plenty of toys capable of tearing apart the clunky things the Imperium uses, it'll just overwhelm them with sheer numbers of IS Ds and do this to the Imperium's world: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/BDZ
  • Oh, so you have figures on the Empire's industrial production, and have compared it to the Imperium's? I didn't know they had been published. Both empires have elite troops, but the Imperium's are genetically enhanced and equipped with much heavier armor. Storm Troopers and such would be dangerous against Imperial Guard units, but even there the Imperium's vehicles would prove dangerous, and the Space Marines have CENTURIES of training as opposed to years. Comparisons of space ships are more difficult, but the Imperium has MANY planetkillers (the Exterminatus) while the Empire only ever built two. The Imperium's ships aren't aerodynamic, but that doesn't matter as much in space and they seem to be much larger, as well. Palpatine's fleet would be dangerous, but not unbeateable for the Imperium. It should also be noted that the Imperium does not posess only one world, as you stated, but many thousands and they regularly reduce planets to rubble, themselves. As stated, circumstances would matter greatly, but I don't really see this sort of a fight as a walkover for the Galactic Empire.
  • Yes—the ICS for ROTS states that the Republic and the CIS were able to build tens of millions of ships in a short while, and it stands to reason that the Empire would be capable of the same, if not greater, capacity. It's been stated that it numbers in the millions, as per here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_fleet. Furthermore, as stated in the same source, the CIS was able to churn out quintillions of battle droids. As the Imperium fleet hasn't been given greater numbers than a matter of thousands, it's not debateable that SW has a superior industry. Furthemore, whereas the Imperium has an immensely ineffective bueracracy, the Empire reacts to intelligence quickly and deciesively, as in ESB where they headed to Hoth as soon as they got info on the rebel base. As for planet killers, even SW light frigates, such as the Acclamator, have firepower in the gigatons per shot, and are capable of frying planets, as per here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Acclamator-class SW also has plenty of planet killers, from the Sun Crusher, to the Galaxy Gun, to the World Devastators. Space Marines will obviously be able to take on regular Empire infantry, but the Empire possesses Dark Troopers, which they can mass-produce, unlike Space Marines, and IMO D Ts possess superior weaponry and armor. Furthermore, even Clone Wars vehicles that aren't advanced by Imperial standards, like the Juggernaut, can achieve nuke-level firepower, as per here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Heavy_Assault_Vehicle/wheeled_A6_Juggernaut Actually, considering both share a similar idealogy, I find it strange that they would want to fight, but if it came down to that the Empire would win through sheer numbers and firepower, although the Imperium would still put up a fight. In any case, if you want a much more comprehensive argument from both sides. head over to stardestroyer.net. The advantages of both sides are explored thoroughly
  • The Empire has infinitely better naval abilities than the Imerium. Assuming a galactic-wide Campaign, the Empire has it in the bag. However, I'm still not really impressed with the specifications on Wookiepedia for the Dark Troopers weaponry, which sounds about equivalent to a stable version of the 40K universe's plasma weapons. Imperium tanks and vehicles are massive and go up to the Titan scale, and the Imperium fields Psykers, which are going to initially throw the Empire for a loop. As for the two sides not wanting to fight, I don't think they have a similar ideology at all. standard protocol for first contact with humanoids in the Imperium is to check for taint of chaos, (Which they won't find) and then ask/tell them they are part of the Imperium. If they resist, purge them. It's really easy to see a war breaking out.

Servbot: Signum (non-Unisoned) vs Setsuna Sakurazaki! Old-fashioned Knight vs Old-fashioned Samurai! Magitek Program vs Half-Demon! Ancient Belka style vs Shinmeiryu style! Who shall win in this Lady of War battle!?

(Though whatever the result, I suspect that they'll find a new favorite sparring partner afterwards)


danteGuest: How about Darth Vader vs. Yami Yugi...in the flight combat simulators in most flight bases in Star Wars? (Roughly similar to them playing X-Wing Alliance against each other.) Neither player is able to see what craft the other has chosen, and there are no other craft or objects in the simulation.


Great Pikmin Fan: Kevin vs. Sarah vs. Rolf. No Ed, no Plank,no items, Fox only, final destination. Winner vs. Naruto (for kicks). Who gets the three handled trophy that says 'you're winner'?

SSBB announcer: 3...2...1... Go!
Sarah: * bashes Kevin into the ground*
Rolf: Ah... in my country that is a sign of surrender.
Sarah: I'm not giving up! I want to be winner!
Kevin: * gets up, gets on his bike, and tries to run over the other two*
Rolf: Rolf thinks we should form an alliance.
Sarah: N-* hit by Kevin* Okay Okay, lets try to get that off his bike. * they both K.O. Kevin*
Rolf: now... * gets a fish like he did in the episode 'dueling Eds'* alliance over!
Sarah:... * K.O.s Rolf*
SSBB anno.: Wow! Incredible! Next round!
Naruto: * makes a clone, charges up a rasengan (sp?)*
Sarah: * Hits Naruto, this is like hitting someone in the middle of a transformation sequence, by the way.*
Naruto: * goes Kyyubi (again, sp? haven't bein to a Naruto site in a while)*
sarah: * knocks Naruto into the ground*
Naruto: * gets another rasengan*
Sarah: What the heck is tha-* pwnd, then K.O.ed*

Josh 6243: I'd say it would be a two-way tie between Kevin and Rolf. I don't know why, but that is what I would think would happen.


Terrace:


Great Pikmin Fan: Duncan vs. Eva.

  • Strength alone? Eva. However, if they're in a setting where cunning comes into play? Duncan would be able to figure some thing out. He's very crafty. However, if this is something like arm wrestling, then hands-down, Eva.


Great Pikmin Fan: Shadow (no, not that one)vs. Ebony vs.Dark. A Mary and two Martys. Expect a blue screen of death. here's how it might go:

Dark: * writes down the other two's names in his "everything note"*
Ebony: It didn't wrk becuz im imun to hart atakz!
Shadow: Im too cool to die of a heart attack. * shoots Dark* Now, you say you are killed by a crooss or a steak?
Ebony: Oh noez!
Shadow: * Kills Ebony*
???: Thanks for killing me, now im back as the king of Shinnigami! (sp?)
Shadow: Dark? * shoots Dark again.*
Dark: * writes: Shadow's gun explodes*
Shadow: thats not a normal gun, it's a anti-shinnigami gun!
Dark: What the-dies.

Schrodingers Duck: Let's not forget John Freeman who was Gordon Freeman's brother and John Stalvern.

Freeman: * getting out wepon* It is time for me to live up to my family name and face FULL LIFE CONSEQUENCES! * the bullets went and shot Shadow in the eye*
Enoby: lukly drako bot me bak to live wiv an avrakadara. i wil go sex wiv him now.
Dark: Little did you know L was on my sighed all along and has brung me back with his Life Note!
Shadow: Why wont any of you just die!?!?
Stalvern: I will shoot at them! * plasmeas at them*
* the ceiling collapses and they are trapped and not able to kill*
Stalvern: NO! I MUST FIGHT THE STUS!
Radio: No, John. You ARE the Stu!

And then John was a zombie.

The Red Chao: How about just John Freeman versus John Stalvern?

Willy Four Eyes: Why not those two vs. Gordon Frohman?


Poochy EXE: Rockman vs. Rockman X vs. Zero vs. Vent and/or Aile as Model ZX vs. Rockman Volnutt vs. Rockman.EXE vs. Subaru Hoshikawa as Rockman. Who would win a Super Smash Bros.-style free-for-all? And what rank or Busting Level (if any, depending on the winner) would the winner get? One thing's for sure: I need to decrease my sugar intake.

Geo-Omega (Subaru) hands down, with EXE coming in second. The rank/busting level would be 9 and the prize would be a trip around the world for Geo-Omega and EXE with the other 3 being forced to carry them. Zero, Vent and Aile not counting by the way.


The crew of the Serenity vs. the crew of Outlaw Star vs. the crew of the Bebop! Fight!

Archaalen: This fight would all depend on how good of a week the three crews had been having. If they were all broke and out of ammo/fuel/food, they would probably team up and TEAR DOWN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE UNIVERSE!!! Also, it would depend upon whether it was a straight-out gun battle, a bar brawl, or a mission/bounty for the crews (all of them have dealt with all three in the past). In an out-and-out battle, the Outlaw Star crew would probably win due to all of the cool toys they have (missle launcher, caster & shells, personal shielding device, heavy ship armaments) and their nearly-invincible catgirl (assuming she had eaten enough recently). Bebop crew has the best smaller ships (both armed), the best combat duo (Spike and Jet), and the best computer expert, but they're also the smallest crew. Serenity has no guns, but the largest complement of skilled fighters (Mal, Zoe, Jayne, River, and to some extent Inara), the only proper medic to treat battle wounds, and a mind-reading genius on their side. Overall, I think this battle would be a bloody draw with casualties for all involved and no clear winner, resulting in angst and regret for all three main protagonists.

Crasical: I want to see a 3-way bar brawl sort of deal between these groups. Especially Jayne when he gets KO'd by Aisha (Didn't expect that sort of strength from a woman).


Great Pikmin Fan: Homer and Fry vs. Peter and Stan.

DaPatman: Peter and Stan, no contest. Heck, Peter on his own would stand a fighting chance.


Shyria Dracnoir: Altair vs. Ezio

Willy Four Eyes: Altair in a laugher.


Kitsch: Keyser Soze vs. L


Phoenix Fire: First-Person Smartass snark-off: Lord Vladimir Taltos vs. Kyon. My money's on Loiosh.


DaPatman: Professor Layton vs. Henry Hatsworth in each of 1) a straight fight, 2) a puzzle solving contest, and 3) a Britishness contest.

  • Mr Guy: 1) Hatsworth, because he has lasers and has to jump and fight all the time. 2) Layton, because he solved damn near every type of logic puzzle ever devised over the course of one investigation, so assuming he's had at least three investigations... 3) Hatsworth by a nose, if only because he says "Poppycock."
  • Layton on all three. 1. A straight fight means no fancy tricks, Layton knows how to fight, is athletic, and has youth on his side. 2. He's solved more kinds of puzzles. 3. Layton's just more believable and authentic.

ZeldaTheSwordsman: Metal Sonic in his Metal Overlord form versus Megatron
  • You didn't specify which Megatron, but I think Metal Sonic would win regardless.


Samus Aran vs Tony Stark
  • Ekul: Samus. Seriously, she has up to 255 massively powerful missiles, plasma beam, ice beam, wave beam (Which would go through the armor by the way) and Screw Attack. And then if armor is not allowed, she'd have no problem at all kicking him through the ceiling. At the start of any game (Especially Fusion) she'd probably lose against his armor. At the end of any game (Especially Fusion) she'd definitely win. I doubt many non-Reality Warpers would win against Omega Fusion Samus. And even some of those would be crushed.
  • kwkak37: Although, considering Tony is also a billionaire charmer and Samus is a bounty hunter, Tony could just buy her services. (not in that sense, guttermind!)
    • Tony would totally try to seduce her, though.
    • But assuming they had to fight, Samus would most likely come out on top (in what sense? You don't know!)
FusionDragon: Matchup of the hugest of Command And Conquer's Humongous Mecha: Core Defender vs. Shogun Executioner.
  • Asmodemus: That's a tough one, the Executioner has a tougher attack I'd say but the Defender has more health, and unless there's some tesla weaponry healing the shogun it would get damaged rather quickly by comparison. It'd definitely be a slug fest though. I'd tenatively say the Defender.
  • Medinoc: I also think that the Core Defender has a better range.


How about Light Yagami v Lelouch vi Britannia v Sosuke Aizen v The Joker v Batman v Clow Reed v Jigsaw in a battle of wits?

Andy Waltfeld: All played for chumps by Aeolia Schenberg. In obvious spite, of course, of that "being dead for over 200 years" thing.

Schizo Technician: No, Clow clearly wins. As Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle shows, he's capable of planning gambits so complex even diagrams only serve to further confuse readers, at least three hundred years in advance.

Ekul: What about Belthasar? He sent a civilization from the future into 3,000,000 BC, manipulating generations upon generations of people, manipulating a split in dimensions and time itself in order to kill one Cosmic Horror.

DOTMW Of course, this entire struggle is being orchestrated for David Xanatos' benefit.


Andy Waltfeld: Tonberry vs. Walker Gallier: both are green, adorably dumpy-looking, and have ultimate weapons that go "DOINK". The only mitigating factor seems to be that the latter is a Humongous Mecha, though the former often has a ridiculous amount of Hit Points to compensate.
Johan vs. Kira. Place your bets!

Willy Four Eyes: Depends on which Kira. If it's Misa or Higuchi, then Johan wins. Otherwise, Kira wins. Call this one a draw.

Fuu: I'd say it's almost the opposite, actually. Does even Johan himself know his real name? Even if he does, can't see him telling it to Light under any circumstances regardless. And seeing as Light would never trade for the Shinigami Eyes, it's effectively impossible for him to take down Johan. Unless he shot him or something. Which he doesn't. Whereas Johan might catch on to Light's various personality flaws and God complex and exploit them accordingly with unpleasant results. Or just shoot him. Which he does.

Misa, on the other hand, would have a much better chance at winning. She has the Shinigami Eyes, and if something convinced her Johan was a threat to Light, it'd be game over for him in 40 seconds. If Johan managed to avoid this fate, however, he'd probably be quickly manipulating Misa via various forms of the phrase "Light would surely love it if you..." A draw, I guess.

Mikami would be pretty much the same as Misa, except that he lacks her impulsive destructive streak, which means he'd be more likely to not just off Johan right off the bat, which... well... With enough time, I'd bet on Johan taking this one, too.

I'll agree that Higuchi is pretty much a lost cause, though. Maybe, if he was from his last moments where he writes down everyone's name without a second though, but otherwise he's more like the perfect victim for Johan.


Chris X: How about the pair-battles between Arc System Works characters? Guilty Gear versus Blaz Blue!
  • Sol Badguy vs Ragna the Bloodedge
  • Ky Kiske vs Jin Kisaragi
  • Dizzy vs Noel Vermillion (because they're almost like a 'toned down' version of their respective Big Bad. See below)
  • Potemkin vs Iron Tager
  • Eddie vs Arakune
  • Chipp Zanuff vs Bang Shishigami
  • Jam Kuradoberi vs Litchi Faye Ling
    • Bonus round: Faust vs Litchi Faye Ling... in a battle of who is the better doctor.
  • Slayer vs Rachel Alucard
  • May vs Taokaka
  • Bridget vs Carl Clover
  • Order Sol vs Hakumen (Battle of Alternate Selfs (at least there's this speculation that Hakumen is a Future Badass, less Jerkass Jin)
  • Justice vs Nu-13/Lambda-11
  • I-No vs Terumi

Anyone else thought up a matchup, feel free to do so. (especially Tsubaki's!)


Willy Four Eyes: Provided that they could only use their lightning abilities, who would be the last person standing in a fight between Raiden, Eneru, Storm, Cole McGrath, Mikoto Misaka, Saki Tsuzura (with Bhanri), Ky Kiske, Larxene and Ultimate Electro?

Andy Waltfeld: You forgot Blanka. Then again, I'm only recommending a tenth so we have even crews for the eventual rematch where they're grouped at random into a Combattler V vs. Voltes V grudge match.

Willy Four Eyes: Duly noted. The Raiden/Eneru/Storm/Cole/Mikoto/Saki/Ky/Larxene/Electro/Blanka battle royale is on!

  • Steve: Ultimate Electro got his ass beat by Thor, Raiden or Eneru could probably do the same. And even with the handicap in place, logic dictates Storm gets her weather powers because her lightning powers are just a subset related to that. Storm then makes a rain cloud that fries everyone that's affected by water, which would include Cole and Larxene (if the Co M manga is anything to go by.) I can't finish this fairly because I don't know Mikoto, Saki and Ky.

Willy Four Eyes: All right, so Electro, Cole and Larxene are out...


Xavon: The Borg vs. The DaleksTB: Eh-hem, Journey's End, anyone? A REALITY BOMB? If Davros has his mind right, Daleks could wipe out everyone mentioned on this page. And me. And you. Scary...
  • I doubt the reality bomb will ever really work out as an offensive weapon, it's not very efficient. The Borg would probably just torpedo the plan during the lengthy activation phase then assimilate a Dalek and modulate their weapons accordingly.

Xavon: Recca Hanabishi vs. Naruto Uzumaki - It's easy to see how this one gets started, too; Naruto talks about how he is going to be the next Hokage, and Recca assumes he intends to force his way into the Hoakge ningen. Recca says he's the leader of the Hokage, which Naruto takes as an insult/challenge. Round one, fight!

  • Chris X: On the other hand, Tokiya Mikagami vs Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke thinks that the Hokage Team is involved in pissing him off, and being the extreme avenger he is, he sets his sight to destroy them all for revenge. Of course, Tokiya sees Sasuke as a shadow of himself, as a man too consumed with revenge, so he'll attempt to show him how futile it is, by fighting him to protect his friend, not even when Sasuke provoked that Meguri Kyoza didn't die in deathbed, but being killed by him. Which mindset shall prevail in the end: Life of revenge, or life of protecting? Ready, GO!

Enlong: Gaara vs. Sir Crocodile. Let's assume they're in a desert.
  • Melloncollie: Gaara, because Sir Crocodile is weakened by liquids while Gaara isn't.
    • Enlong: Aye, makes sense. In addition, Crocodile can turn into sand, and if he does, Gaara might be able to manipulate him.

TB: Superheroed captains fight - Captain America vs. Captain Falcon? Would be interesting since both of them have similar-looking costumes, similar-looking jaws, although FALCON PUNCH might prove otherwise...
  • A tie. Because of the "unstopable force meets immovable object" thing.
    • Captain America, he's faster and more skilled, so while Falcon is charging Cap breaks him.

TB: Extended Superheroed captains fight - Captain America vs. Captain Marvel vs. Captain Falcon vs. Captain Jack (Torchwood) vs. Captain Jack (Pirates Of The Caribbean)?
  • If this is the Captain Marvel from Shazam, then he wins. If not, he gets taken out by Captain Falcon. It ends up being a three-way tie between Captain America, Captain Falcon, and Captain Sparrow (who manages to weasel his way out.)

Melloncollie: Iron Man vs. a zombie horde, say 5000. (Wasn't there a comic where the Marvel superheroes turned into zombies?)

Neep: Even disregarding Iron Man's ton of guns and such, his armor is strong enough to crush skulls one-handed and the zombies have no way of getting through the armor. Only one possible outcome, but it might take a while.


Neep: Morrolan e'Drien vs. Anomander Rake. They're both badass god-killing warrior mages with soul-destroying swords, so it's hard to say.
Rothul: Lex Luthor Vs. David Xanatos Vs. Adrian Veidt Vs. Norman Osbourne Vs. Harry Lime Vs. Rotti Largo Vs. Obadiah Stane Vs Albert Wesker. And the battleground is corporate intrigue.

I figure that Harry Lime is too small an operator to hang with the others too long, though he and Honest John's Dealership clean up in the commemerative mug market, once the initial powerplays are over. Likewise, Rotti Largo is on borrowed time, and I don't see this being a short match... once he kicks the bucket, his company's in the hands of Paris Hilton, which probably isn't going to be enough. Though Wesker has utilized the Umbrella corporation for his own ends well, I don't think he would function well on a purely corporate level... I mean, there's a time and a place for achieving god-like power through viral infection, but there's going to be few face-to-face confrontations, and, in any case, all of the remaining characters have heavily-armed robot battle suits on-hand.

At this point, we have to start looking to external and internal interferences: Obadiah is easily removed in a hostile-takeover by Tony Stark. Lex Luthor inevitably gets distracted, misses an important meeting while trying to kill Superman, and is thrown in jail afterward... The charges won't stick, but he'll be removed from the competition just the same. Finally, Osbourne is required to, at some point, get hopped up on Goblin gas and impaled by his glider. Again.

So it's down to Xanatos Vs Veidt. It'll be close, but I think Veidt's skewed sense of conscience puts him at a disadvantage to Xanatos' pure amorality. At a crucial moment, he'll be teleporting exploding psychic monsters, when he should be making sure Xanatos hasn't gotten a controlling interest in Veidt Enterprises Common Stock. Naturally, Veidt'll invite David to his Antarctic retreat for a Hannibal Lecture, which Xanatos responds with the classic Just Shoot Him. Veidt attempt to catch the bullet fails, as Xanatos is from a Family-Friendly Firearms setting. It just ends up being fatal. Xanatos Enterprises FTW.

  • Win.
  • A very succint analysis. However, as far as lasers go, I'm sure Veidt would welcome the opportunity to show off his very shiny very reflective decor.
  • That assumes Xanatos will miss. Which he won't.
    • Not necessarily. "Decor" includes objects which can be picked up and used to block a laser shot.

Dext


Simon the Digger vs. Fire Lord Ozai. For fairness, Simon can only use the Lagann.
  • Oh, the ability to channel carpet sparks is certainly going to help against a giant robot that can shrug off carpet bombardment. Not to mention that by the end of the show, Simon is channeling enough Spiral Energy to beat Lordgenome's ass twice over. Lordgenome being the man who once beat up the Lagann with his bare hands with his head aflame with spiral energy.

Roy Mustang vs. Fire Lord Ozai. My money's on Roy. Once he figures out what Ozai can do, he could probably transmute the air around Ozai into almost pure hydrogen, and cause Ozai to blow himself up.
Willy Four Eyes: In a World... where children's card games were Serious Business...three men stood above them all.

Given that they were only allowed to use the cards they used in their own series, which duelist would have the upper hand in a one-on-one match (Yugi vs. Judai, Yugi vs. Yusei, and Judai vs. Yusei)?

Rothul: Regular Yugi or Pharoh Yugi?

Willy Four Eyes: Pharaoh Yugi, since he's the one that gets the majority of the duels.

Canonier: This is actually a tough one. They'd all keep using the Heart of the Cards to pull out exactly the card they needed at exactly the time they needed it. However, I'd say Yusei would be the first to break since his cards are adapted for a different mode of play. Thus it would be down to Yugi vs. Judai, and we all know how that ends.

Cassius335: I think Yugi and Jaden should at least be allowed to update their decks to current standards (including use of Synchro Monsters), while still keeping to theme; Judai being mainly E-Heroes and Neo-Spacians, Yami being...um.... actually that's a good question. What IS his theme?

Can we assume these duels are not Riding (Turbo) Duels? Yusei can do normal Duels just fine, after all.

If Yami really wants to play fair, he could always loan out two of the Gods, Yusei taking Obelisk and Judai taking Ra (because that's the one he's familiar with).

  • Yugi's lack of theme could in fact be his biggest advantage. Where Jaden is essentially limited to his heroes and Yusei to junk-based cards, Yugi has been known to use any monster, spell, or trap, as long as it's good. So he has the entirety of the game to draw upon.

Scarab: I think Yami's theme is dark/spellcaster monsters... which seem to me to have a lot less possibility for combination play than other deck types. But if we were to set Pharoah Yugi aside here then I think regular Yugi would probably win. After all he kicked the pharaoh’s ass in the last episode... I figure he could probably beat all of these guys...


Candy Entrails:

Willy Four Eyes: The Soda Pop vs. Heavy bout is declared a draw due to outside interference by Zangief, laying a Spinning Piledriver on both combatants. Also, Jack Cayman's got a chainsaw, and he surely wouldn't give Travis enough time to get in close enough to use any of his wrestling moves.


Honore DB:

  • Toph vs. Bumi. Possibly against the spirit of the page, but it's been bugging me.

Rothul: Assuming a metal-less playing field, I gotta give it to Bumi by a hair. As I see it, though Toph is likely a better Earth Bender on a technical level, Bumi's fighting style (as shown in his fight against Aang and his escape from prison) is based around his perfect control of rock levitation. This gives him a distinct advantage over Toph, whose Earth-Bending "sight" is shown as only able to sense that which has some contact with the ground. Throw that in with Bumi's general unpredictability, and I think he takes it.


Sliver:Superman Vs. Goku: I know it's been done, but I never caught the reasoning. Also, it seems to me that a good majority of Goku's attacks are yellow, some are blue, and none are red. Meaning that most of the time he hits Superman he'd be charging him, right?
  • This assumes Goku's attacks are light based, where, if I recall correctly, they're not. They're Ki Blasts, not lasers.
  • This brings up a far more interesting question: Goku vs Green Lantern

Monsund: Goku and Superman fight to a standstill for three episodes, then team up in the fourth against some badguy.

Willy Four Eyes: Fight to a standstill, you say? * chuckles*

-Honestly? Depends. Goku's ki attacks can be considered magical, so they'd definitely harm Superman, but as Willy Four Eyes implied, Goku takes a lot of time to charge them up, and Superman can fly very, very fast. In sunlight, Superman would never get tired while Goku would, but the harder Goku's beat up the more determined he gets, so he could well get more and more powerful the longer the fight goes on.


Monsund:Guu vs Haruko.


Reflextion:Michael Westen vs. Jason Bourne
DAMASTA:Aino Heart of Arcana Heart vs. Mr. Heart of Fist Of The North Star. Who truly has more Heart?

Raoh (also Fist Of The North Star) vs. Akuma (Street Fighter) for the title of "Master of the Fist"

Willy Four Eyes: Heart wins, because she can weaponize The Power of Love into beams of sugary pink happiness.


Xotes:Cole McGrath vs. Volgin. Two electricity powered characters. All powers available. Terrain: Empire City. Alden's Tower. The top.
  • Cole. If only because Volgin will eventually forget to use his "kuwabura" charm and get electrocuted.

Willy Four Eyes: Megaton Punch-off: Captain Falcon vs. Sonic Blast Man vs. Naru Narusegawa.

Monsund:Captain Falcon defeats Naru with a Falcon punch to end all Falcon punches(theMeaning of truth playing) but sacrifices himself in this Crowning Moment Of Awesome. Sonic Blast Man is so touched by this that he takes up Falcon's mantle and renames himself Falcon blast man.


Medinoc: Seen on some forum: Iji vs. Samus Aran. Of course, Iji is assumed to be level 50 (or even 60 with the supercharges), all eight basic weapons, and all eight cracked weapons.
  • Samus. Iji doesn't want to fight aliens, she'd never accept a fight against another human. But assuming it's one-woman-army Iji, she'd probably win.
  • Samus has never really fought a human, either, but considering her willingness to blow up Chozo stuff, it may not matter. And Samus is her own one-woman army, as well. It's a very close fight, but I'll say Samus if only for the gun that shoots black holes.


Gaunt88: Alrighty then, who would win? Samus Aran (sans power suit) vs the Major in hand-to-hand.
  • Zero Mission showed that Samus still has energy tanks without the suit. She's taken blasts of plasma to the face with no suit. Chozo DNA and training makes her leagues ahead of any human (which may be a moot point; this is The Major we're talking about here), so I'm going to say Samus.
  • I wonder if Samus's ability to use energy tanks comes from the Zero suit, or her chozo-induced badassery. Would the fight play out differently if they were both wearing their usual * ahem* civilian attire?
  • Difficult to say, as Samus has not displayed the extent of her hand-to-talon (Chozo, remember?) skills outside of Super Smash Bros Brawl, which should not count as canon.
  • I think deciding it's not Canon is kind of arbitrary in this situation. I seem to recall there being a new Metroid game being developed by Team Ninja, so we an expect Ninja-Gaiden level arts (presumably).
  • The Major. She is full cyborg, Zero-Suit-Samus is impressive, but still human.
    • Samus once jumped of a cliff at the age of 5 and made a crater upon punching the ground when she landed. Her being human is a mere technicality.

Candy Entrails: In a convoluted set-up by an unknown force, the lives of Killer and Jenova are somehow put at serious risk. Lady and Sephiroth track them down and find that only one of the two will be set free. If Lady kills Sephiroth, Killer will be free to go, and if Sephiroth kills Lady, Jenova will be the one to live.

So who wins the fight? The Super Soldier White-Haired Pretty Boy with an Oedipus complex, or the White-Haired Pretty Girl with much, much Malice in her?

The Tambourine Man: The whole fight with Lady is breaking through the barrier protecting her. When that's gone, she goes down in one hit. I'd have to give this to Sephiroth.


Gamer From Jump: Beast Wars Megatron (original or dragon) vs Transformers Animated Megatron.

  • Animated Megatron is more formiddable, so we'll give Beast Megatron his dragon mode. I'm going to say Beast Wars Megatron through more varied powers and a better strategic mind, though it would be quite close.

Andy Waltfeld: Gary Chalk vs. Peter Cullen, eh? Winner takes whichever Optimus Prim(e/al) they share a voice with (Primal for Animated!Megs, Animated!Prime for BW!Megs).


Medinoc: Negi in "Raiten Taisou 2" form vs. Enel. I have a feeling none would win.

'Troid: Edward Cullen vs. Thomas Raith
  • Raith. I admit though, I'm a Twilight hater and could be easily biased.
    • They're both sparkly prettyboys, but Thomas has a lot more experience at combat.

Asmodemus: The Specialist(Captain Cross) vs The Predator


War Machine vs Master Chief

I personally give this War Machine because he can fly and has superior firepower. However Master Chief is a better fighter and does have energy shields.


Batman vs Vetinari?
  • Vetinari installs himself in a position where he becomes absolutely indispensable for properly running Gotham. Batman is forced to leave him alone.
  • If Vetinari was in charge of Gotham, the Waynes would have never been gunned down in Crime alley so senselessly. Even if they were, it would be a reason so meticulously explained that even Bruce would be psychologically okay with it. On a metaphysical level, Batman forfeits from non-existence.

Optimus Prime vs. Koh The Face Stealer. And just for fun, let's put Two-Face in the same room.

  • Oh god, it took me five seconds to get that... can't stop chuckling.


How about the Prince Of Persia vs Altair normal without the Grand Unifying Guess?

  • Hmmm, which Prince we talkin' about here? I assume the new one, without Elika's backup? He's an accomplished swordfighter with the capacity for unorthodox attacks in his gauntlet, a master of smacktalk, and ridiculously nimble, but he doesn't kill for a living, those he does fight most often are foes larger and slower than him, and he relies a bit too much on big, flashy attacks. Altair's a cold and efficient killer with a lifetime's experience in a number of weapons and intense mental clarity; he has ranged attacks in his knives and an ace in his hidden blade, but he's not quite as nimble as the Prince. It'd be a hell of a thing to see. They both possess incredible grace and it would be a face-off between a trickster's wild, instinctive improvisation and skilled, pragmatic, emotionally controlled discipline. In a flat environment I have to award it to Altair, personally, because he's focused. He wouldn't let himself get distracted, even by the Prince never shutting the hell up, and he's a born and trained killer rather than a thief with a big mouth. Otherwise the way the Prince would win is if he managed to turn the environment to his advantage and dump Altair in deep water somehow, which I wouldn't put past him, but he'd have to avoid getting shanked long enough to think of it.


Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman vs. Batman.

Asmodemus:Batman wins through a completely unexpected gambit, stunning the other competitors and anyone watching at the time.


Rorshach vs. Samuel Vimes in a no-holds-barred one-on-one street fight.

  • Hmmm... A Watchman vs The Watchman. Both willing to fight dirty, carry various weapons, and can use nearly anything as a weapon. In the end, I'd have to give it to Vimes, if only because I think he'll unleash The Beast and bludgeon Rorshach with his badge. Then summon the Watchman, seal the Beast, and light a cigar.
    • Also, I suggest Dorfl vs. Dr. Manhattan, in a debate on the nature of life, humanity, and the gods.


Evangeline vs. Alucard. They're both crazy powerful and able to regenerate from anything.
  • Eva enters her adult form and they end up making out.
    • Their children are Remilia and Flandre.
      • The scary thing about that is that it actually makes a lot of sense.

The Order Of The Stick vs. The Fellowship Of The Ring. Team battle or one-on-one (or one-on-four, in one case...)
  • Heh. I'm not sure the Fellowship would be prepared for the game-breaking power Vaarsuvius casually wields.
    • Round one: V casts Sleep, taking out the hobbits. Gandalf casts fear into the hearts of the evil, causing Belkar to flee. Haley and Legolas start an archery duel. Durkon and Gimli, noting that there are dwarves in both parties, realize there's been a horrible mistake and start trying to calm everyone down. Roy and Aragorn charge each other. Boromir runs over to check on the sleeping Frodo. Elan sings.
    • Round two: Roy and Aragorn commence slashing each other to ribbons. Vaarsuvius casts Disintegrate on Gandalf, who shields himself with a globe of light. Haley and Legolas continue sniping at each other, but both effortlessly dodge. Boromir stares in fascination at the ring hanging around Frodo's neck. Gimli, still calling for everyone to stop, heads over to help Aragorn, while Durkon heals Roy. Elan sings.
    • Round three: Boromir gently pulls the necklace off of Frodo's neck. Gandalf senses trouble and turns to yell at him, then staggers as a beam from V hits him in the back. Gimli lands a knockout blow on Roy, while Aragorn is barely on his feet. Legolas and Haley are lost in their own little world. Elan uses his bardic training to grok the ring situation and distracts Boromir with a vision of an even cooler-looking ring.
    • Round four: Vaarsuvius lets off a fireball, knocking out Aragorn and seriously injuring everyone but Gandalf and Legolas. The hobbits stir. "Fly, you fools!" shouts Gandalf.
    • Round five: The fellowship retreats, carrying Aragorn, as Gandalf uses a brilliant light to cover their escape. Once the rest are safely gone, Gandalf surrenders. Haley asks to interrogate him privately, then spends the whole time asking him about Legolas.

Candy Entrails: Ash Williams vs. Leatherface in a horror-movie chainsaw duel to the death!
  • Ash. His ability to survive completely impossible things would make it a matter of attrition at best.

Starmaster: Colette vs. Misa vs. Kallen! The ultimate girl power showdown! But Misa doesn't get to use her Death Note, since that's cheating. She can Genki Girl her opponents to death.
  • Kallen, easily. Suzaku and her martial abilities are fuelled by pure bullshit, capable of taking down anything short of Chuck Norris class opponents, and it's only because they cancel each other out that any other soldier in their series even matters. (And they Curb Stomp anyone who gets between the two of them before they can collide and annihalate.) Colette may be some chosen one, but she's the lamest of the girls in her game, and only Raine is weaker. Without a death note, Misa is cannon fodder.
    • Hey, now. Colette may seem nice, but she's not weak; she's all but technically an angel. What comes with that is wings, light-based attack magic (especially Judgement and Holy Judgement), and an automatic power-up that includes super-strength (she and Presea are probably the strongest in the party) and enhanced senses. When Zelos grabbed her(in zombie mode), she casually tossed him across the square, and she's competent with chakrams, which serve as a long-range weapon. Finally, she is the possessor of "divine clumsiness", which while making her somewhat of a joke, has always been extremely practical and timely. And for that matter, Raine is nevertheless at least competent in battle. While in battle her direct attack is pretty wimpy, in both the manga and the intro she's shown smacking [[Mook mooks]] around handily. What all this means is that I don't think it's fair to write Colette off in this fight; the entire party had to be epically strong. Misa is still hopelessly outmatched, and unless Colette is significantly more powerful than Kallen her personality will still lead to her downfall, but she's not "lame or weak"; as Abyssion can attest.
LE Xicon 712: Similarly, Kallen vs. Yoko.
  • prescience: If they have mechs, then Yoko, hands down. Otherwise, I don't know...

Starmaster: (Again). The Ultimate Tales Lead showdown. Luke vs. Lloyd vs. Emil!'
  • Depends. Does Emil get his monster servants? If so, he wins. If not, Lloyd wins. Unless Lloyd is too foolish to combine the Material Blades, in which case it goes back to Emil. Luke is doomed; his best attack is Hyperresonance, which only works on fonon-based enemies, and both of the others are simply mana and matter- no magic music particles whatsoever.
  • I'm pretty sure Hyperresonance works on anything, like Luke and Tear, at the beginning. It seems to me to be kind of like a Wave-Motion Tuning Fork combined with an energy bomb. Consider, after all, that the dominant religion on Auldrant uses a tuning fork for their religious symbol, because all matter is composed of Fonons, which IIRC are sound-based energy particles, hence a special awesome (hyper) energy vibration (resonance) has something in common with antimatter. Hence, if Luke used hyperresonance against his foes, it would probably take out Lloyd and maybe even Emil. However, considering how it's treated he probably wouldn't have access to it at all. Meanwhile, I'm assuming Emil is fully awakened, and if so, Lloyd would need to be able to bring the full power of both the Eternal Sword and Martel's power (remember, in the final dungeon, everyone from the first game was helpless at the Derris Emblem trap; Lloyd resisted the effects solely on the virtue of his pact with Martel). With Ratatosk's successor on his side, Lloyd would win, and if he had the Eternal Blade, he could take the monsters, too.

The Leverage Team (Nate, Sophie, Parker, Alex, and Eliot) vs the Burn Notice group (Micheal, Fiona, and Sam) both want to take down badguys X, the challenge being to see which one does that. Also, what about Micheal vs Eliot in a fist fight?
Junkyard Wars matchup: A-Team (Captain: Hannibal, Expert: Mad Dog, Scroungers: Face and B.A.) vs MacGyver (Captain: Pete Thornton, Expert: Jack Dalton, Scroungers: Angus MacGyver and Penny Parker). Both teams have ten hours to take items from a junkyard to create an armored vehicle that can carry all four members and then launch a one-person plane.
  • Andy Waltfeld: Think I'm gonna have to give this one to the MacGyver camp. B.A. ain't gettin' in no plane, foo!
    • No Drog: That's why the challenge says one person plane; only the expert has to go into the plane. Although it would be funny to see the group trying to use Junkyard Materials to knock BA out and stuff him into the plane.
    • Rothul: I've got to give it to Team MacGyver for the following reasons: The A-Team's MO is based around talking existant fully-functioning vehicles etc. and upgrading them for combat use and just combat use, whereas MacGyver is taking disparate objects combined into a functioning whole. Because of this, while the A-Team would handedly win a "Pimp My Ride" competition, the question of Junkyard Wars is to get broken stuff working with limited tools, for which Mac has an advantage: give the A-Team a broken engine, a pocket knife, a tank of hydrogen, some chewing gum and a couple of pine cones, the best they could do would be to give you something smokey and intimidating that goes boom and would prove super-effective against a "this-episodes's-Columbian-drug-lord-du-jour" type but not the open road, whereas the enviromentalist Mac will have jury-rigged a faster more-fuel efficient Prius. The plane is a similar story.

Starmaster: Molly and Jordan vs. Gauche and Droite. No one runs out of ammo and Yuri and the gang have not stolen their swords. And they still have their blastia. Jordan cannot use his Avatar Powers outside of shooting lasers at them. Molly can run over them with her podracer star racer, but she can't kill them in one hit. 100000 HP each. Consider the variables and place your bets!
Ace Of Scarabs: X-Com versus the Covenant. To give X-Com a fighting chance, they are considered to have already battled the Ethereal Empire and defeated Cydonia. However, enough Covenant troops are highly resistant to psionics that they can't just send an Avenger-load of Psionic supersoldiers out to auto-win every battle with Mind Control. The plasma weapons X-Com has access to are roughly equal to the Covenant stuff, but are still dependant on the finite supply of Elerium X-Com has scrounged from raided UFOs, so they have to figure out the Covenant tech before they run out of resources for their cool toys. Can X-Com win without a Master Chief? (To be honest, though, the Blaster Bombs greatly help to even the odds against X-Com.)
  • Wraith Magus: You're forgetting Master Chief's really just a Badass Normal with some neat looking armor. He defeats vastly superior numbers not through superior firepower or heavy rechargable shielding or super toughness, but through smart use of cover, intimate knowledge of the weapons he weilds and the enemies he fights, good reflexes and good aim. These all describe the way X-Com fights. Maybe individually they won't match up to Master Chief, but as a team with mutual assistance drilled to instinct within them, they are capable of pulling off victories against vastly superior foes, even if psionics is of limited use. "Figuring out Covenant tech" is of little concern - apparently, anyone can just grab one and start shooting. The intimate knowledge of the fighting styles of their opponents part is the only hiccup. X-com would likely face serious casualties at first, pruning them down to a tighter group of the most competent, but after that, those teams would be unstoppable.
    • Aceof Scarabs: Nevertheless, X-Com cannot indefinitely stay on the defensive to stop the Covenant. They will need to find a way to stop the war at its origin, wherever the Prophets and the clergy of the Covenant reside. If they continue to rely on the Avenger for spacebound assaults, they will have to restrict Elerium in order to have enough for a round trip... or they can reverse-engineer Covenant tech and improve their fleet. I suppose part of this goes down X-Com absolutely requiring a competent, effective Strategic Director.
      • Brutes may seem much less intimidating than Mutons, or Ethereals and their accursed Sectopods, until they bring out the BF Gs they use and start beamspamming.
      • Covenant Elites are probably the greatest threat to X-Com agents, having approximately equal combat ability and shields. The science boys will want to research their shields for sure.
      • If anything, the X-Com agents would probably be infinitely pleased that they don't have to put up with anything like the Chryssalids... unless some Flood somehow gets into the equation.
      • The greatest weapon advantage is that the X-Com guys also have Heavy Plasma in addition to plasma Rifles/Pistols, and they also have infinite-ammunition Laser weapons that will continue to function long after they use up their Elerium.

Ace Of Scarabs: With the same level of tech as the previous example, could X-Com stop the Tasen before they decide that humanity is too big a threat to ignore and Alpha Strike the planet?
Andy Waltfeld: Lloyd and Albert (the Front Mission ones) vs. Lloyd and Albert (the Legend Of Dragoon ones). I have no idea how to even the odds on this one, but Wanzers vs. Winged Humanoids ought to be hilarious.
Starmaster (God I LOVE this page): I've been wanting to do this one: Sora vs. Asch. The guys from Kingdom Hearts and Tales Of The Abyss who fight with keys. Hahahahaha. This fight is rather silly, but it sounds like a good one.
Starmaster (AGAIN): Cruxis vs. Organization XIII. Yeahhh....
  • Cruxis wins by sheer numbers. They have both legions of angels, each powerful in their own right (going by Remiel as a typical example, after all, they all have cruxis crystals and we know what those do), and legions of Desian mooks (as well as Desian cardinals, and upper ranking members). Orgy XIII, on the other hand, has twelve boss-types, plus the mooks. Mooks can essentially be discounted, leaving the win to Cruxis, a massive organization of boss-types.

Gaunt88: Similar to the X-com example above, Who Would Win when the Ur-Quan and their Heirachy of Battle-Thralls move into Covenant space? To clarify; that's the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, Ilwrath, Spathi, Mycon, VUX, Umgah, Thraddash, and Androsynth vs the Prothets, Elites, Brutes, Jackals, Hunters, Drones and Grunts. The Korh-ah aren't around, so the Ur-Quan can devote their full attention to the war. Who would win in the end, and which Covenant races would choose Thralldom, which would be slave-shielded and which would fight to the death?
Blackwell: Battle of the Insurance Company Mascots: The gecko from the GEICO commercials vs. the Russian meerkat from the comparethemeerkat.com ads.
  • The Red Red Kroovy says: Flo from the Progressive ads, pissed off that she was left out of the fight, runs the gecko over with her V-Twin and shoves her big tricked-out name tag up the meerkat's ass.

A battle of immovable despair vs. unstoppable drills: the cast of Neon Genesis Evangelion vs. the cast of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann!
Megas XLR vs. Gurren Lagann. To be more specific, it's Coop, Jaime, Kiva, Goat, and Megas vs. Kamina, Yoko, Simon, Nia, and the Gurren Lagann. (You know, that combination between the Lagann and Kamina's Gurren.)

  • No Drogs says: Starting off, the Megas XLR has a size advantage. The head of Megas XLR is Coop's car, while the head for Gurren Lagaan is just a little over the size of an adult male. However, being the underdog is the way the Gurren Lagann crew likes it, so that won't let being small stop them. In the end, it comes down to which team can outlast the other, and in that case it comes down to Megas XLR winning because I'm sure Coop keeps plenty of extra snacks around. No matter where they fight, however, it's going to look like a ravaged wasteland when they're done.

Rothul: Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM (to his continued dismay) has been sent with a team of his choice to infiltrate another dangerous, unstable setting for the good of the empire: Alpha-Complex! How does the luckiest man in the Imperium fare against The Computer?

Crasical: I'd think that he'd eventually escape/destroy the installation, but he'd absolutely loath the constant fleeing, lack of (good) food, and constant life threatening. So, just like most of his missions, Assuming he had his usual backup of Jurgen and possibly Amberly and her retinue.


Mapi-chan: Battle of the Screwed up Girls! Kaede vs Rena vs Shion vs Yuno vs Sakura vs Ryoko vs Kotonoha vs Sekai. Who's the most psychotic one when their Yandere/Yangire buttons are pushed?
  • Candy Entrails: Nena Trinity, at a long, boring day at work, comes across the fight and decides the lot of them are having too much fun. Explosions ensue.
  • Mapi-chan: I do believe Kohaku wants to join too...

Utritum: A battle between Harry Mason, James Sunderland, Heather Morris and Henry Townshend from Silent Hill, anyone? Yahtzee haves his own take on it, but he ultimately lets you decide who wins! Fun!
Yon Troper: Deadpool vs. Squirrel Girl. 'Nuff said.

Rothul: Deadpool has already faced off against her in the Marvel-verse and lost. And even if we don't accept this as canon, he's self-aware enough to forfeit any possible rematch.


thatother1dude: After hearing Gaara/Crocodile, how about Arlong vs. Kisame Hoshigaki? Sharkman vs. Sharkman.
Willy Four Eyes: In the world of video game sports, who would reign supreme in a no-holds-barred brawl? Bo Jackson, Jeremy Roenick, or Mike Tyson?

Rothul: Mike Tyson lost his aura of invincibility after he lost the WVBA championship to Mr. Dream back in 1990. Even in his prime he had a non-zero chance of getting tko-ed by a 107 lb 4'11" mook from the Bronx, with a trainer that looked like Carl Winslow. So it's going to come down to Roenick and Jackson, and a close match it will be: Roenick's skill at knocking down anyone he pleases creates an immovable object against Bo's unstoppable force of shaking off an entire defensive line at once. And while Roenick may be a little shaken off the ice, it is balanced by how no less an authority than The Great One has made it clear that hockey is among the few things Bo doesn't, in fact, know. It comes down to variability: Roenick is equally adept at scoring from anywhere on the rink at all times (even in flagrant violation of the rules of hockey or physics), wheras Bo only has one running play that he can run. He never needed anything more against the rest in Tecmo Bowl contention, but such repetition will cost him against a fellow game-breaker. Roenick FTW.


Candy Entrails: Squirrel Girl vs. Batman with prep time. What happens when an unstoppable force collides with another unstoppable force?

Rothul: The fight, though close, swings to Batman for two reasons: 1. Squirrel Girl memetic bad-ass credentials are borne from how her chance of success is inversely proportional to the apparent power displayed by her adversary: she has more trouble with street-level muggers than with Galactus. While she would easily win against Superman or Darkseid, Batman, being a mere Badass Normal, is relatively immune to her memetic power. 2. Batman has tons of experience correctly assessing those who initially seem no threat: charter members of his rogue's gallery include a guy who looks like a penguin, a chick that can talk to plants, a ventriloquist dummy, and a few whose only conceivable power is that they have massive chemical burns (you'd think that'd be a handicap, y'know?). Squirrel Girl fits right into this category, and considering he has prep time, will have an effective battle plan (likely, getting her to forfeit in exchange for a date with Nightwing.)


Phoenix Fire: NERV assaults Dzur Mountain. For the sake of fairness, we'll assume that Sethra doesn't have access to any troops. Sethra would probably win, but dear god, would it be awesome.
LE Xicon 712: I can't believe nobody has mentioned Akatsuki vs. Espada yet.

Schizo Technician: The espada win hands down. Only Madara could survive #2's aging effect, and he'd be easy pickings for the others in his presently weakened state.

thatother1dude: We don't know if Madara is really "weak", as he currently seems to be able to avoid just about any attack in existence. Plus Akatsuki has Pain. Of course, this all requires there to be some sort of the "balancing" for how one side is invisible to the other, or this would be ridiculously one-sided.

Schizo Technician: No, not invisible. To see spirits, one must only have spiritual power above a certain level. Chakra is composed of two energies mixed- physical energy and spiritual energy. Thus, one cannot have high chakra levels (such as found in Akatsuki) without having spiritual power at least half as strong. And Madara certainly seems to think he's weakened. Also, Pain's power is as nothing compared to the aging effect. The only Ninja that I see as being able to take him out is Minato Namikaze or Hizuren Sarutobi (Or, potentially, Madara), with their death-summoning (Death being immune to age, obviously) or maybe Minato's teleportation. Anything else will be aged into nothing. Jutsu last as long as their creators, no more. Summons can age and weaken. Shuriken rust away. Even pain seems to be able to waste away to nothing, if his real body is any indication, and unless he's coated the fake bodies in plastic, they too cannot last forever. And forever is very, very short around #2.

  • We don't know how many things can hurt #2, considering how he lost, but Deidara might protest that his art is ephemeral anyway, only lasting for an instant, something about how that helps him. Likewise, Sasori seems to believe that the nature of his art is that it is by definition eternal, so we'd have to see how that plays out. I don't see how Pain's power can be nothing: he has a gravity nuke, an awesome repulsor shield, and a black hole of doom. These are straight-up force effects that would not be vulnerable to aging. I'm also curious how that absorbing Pain body would fare against the aging effect, plus god knows how Hidan would be affected. Finally, though, what makes me certain that the Akatsuki would eventually triumph over #2 at least (I'm just pointing out how #2 isn't invincible to them), Itachi's Ameterasu produces black flames at wherever the user is looking, which burn until there is nothing left. Everything is fuel, and they ARE eternal as long as there is fuel. I don't think #2 can stop that.

  • Amaterasu, I'll grant you. The rest, however, I point out the aging of kido, which technically doesn't age- its the user who ages. If anything that requires a constant input from the source gets near him, the aging effect destroys it, as it makes it as if energy hasn't been put in in a long time. The gravity wave will peter out as it gets close to him, and the false bodies will likely rot just like the corpses they are if they get close enough to attack physically, and any effect they can produce which doesn't automatically last forever will go away. Puppets may be eternal given constant maintenance, regular application of preservatives, and a sterile environment, but in the field, they'll rot like the treated wood and cloth they are- if it can age, #2 ages it. Clay sculptures can crumble and turn to dust over years of weathering, so there goes Deidera. Amaterasu will make it, though, but what is its range? Itachi's health isn't in the best of conditions as it is, he more than anyone can't get within at least a dozen meters or so.

Chloeraven: Depends on who is fighting who. Itachi vs Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra would win. Itachi vs Grimmjow however, Itachi would win.

Chuckg: Akatasuki has two immortals: Hidan, with his crazy 'immune to death as long as I've killed recently' thing, and Madara, with his 'Eternal Sharingan'. Madara particularly is immune to aging.


Gaunt88: Gregor Eisenhorn vs Lelouch Lamperouge. Eisenhorn and his retinue try to track down and stop Zero and the Black Knights (obvously a recidivist Chaos cult). Would a psyker be succeptible to the Geass? As a side event, who would win in a race down the slippery slope?
Comonad: The SOS-dan vs. the Dai-Gurren-dan. Who would break the universe more?

thatother1dude: Well, Haruhi's power are a bit more ambiguous in scope, while Spiral Power is explicitly able to destroy everything.

Dominus Temporis: Haruhi is unaware of her powers and the rest of the Brigade would rather keep it that way, so she wouldn't even be in the battle. Unless it's in Closed Space, Itsuki can't do anything. Kyon and Mikuru can't really fight, so that arguably leaves Yuki alone against the likes of Simon and Kamina. And if it's Simon at the absolute height of his power... and assuming we can count Lagann-hen where everyone gets Tengen Toppa-sized mechs, Yuki's screwed, and so is Itsuki even if he can fight. Team Dai-Gurren wins.


Cassius335: Thundersaurus Megazord with Ankylozord helping if they think they need it, verses... um, whichever Gurren Lagann formation is skyscraper size. Battle of the Drill Mecha.

thatother1dude: Sort of a crap shoot because Gurren Lagann's forms go straight from Gurren Lagann (house/Gundam-sized) to Arc-Gurren Lagann city-sized. The Dai-Gurren (battleship-sized) might be a better matchup, but it doesn't have a drill, just a giant blade for a bow.

Cassius335 Let's say Arc-Gurren Lagann, then.

Schizo Technician: Arc-Gurren Lagann, hands down. Only Ranger tool that could take that out is something with "Ultrazord" in the name or zord of equivalent level.

Dominus Temporis: Arc punches whatever respective Megazord so hard it bounces off nothing and is lost in the spacetime continuum.


thatother1dude: Roronoa Zoro vs. Killer Bee: The impossible three-sword style versus the impossible-er seven-sword style. May or may not allow Killer Bee to turn into a giant-octopus bull.
Ace Of Scarabs: The UN funds X-Com to stop the Angel threat, pitting themselves against the privately-owned NERV as a sort of competition. Will the Strategic Director of X-Com be able to figure out a means of preventing Third Impact, or will Gendo fulfil his agenda? X-Com will have the tech they had left over from the successful campaign versus Cydonia, while NERV will have their EVA units.

Andy Waltfeld: X-COM recovers Angelic Alloys, creates AT Field Armor. Then they manage to Stun Rod/Launcher EVA-03 to sleep during its takeover by Bardiel, resulting in plotline research topic "Terminal Dogma or Bust." Cue a much smaller-scale (and less psychedelic) End Of EVA.


E: The Lernean Hydra vs. Yamata-no-Orochi
  • Hydra. It gets stronger the more its attacked conventionally, and I doubt Orochi can breathe fire (the only thing proven to stop head regrowth).

As an interesting excercise, given 10 Skyranger-loads of agents and HW Ps, and restricted to Earth technologies plus Personal Armor, could X-Com defend Helm's Deep and/or Minas Tirith?
Enlong: Ramza Vs. Marche Vs. Luso.
Enlong: Similarly, Judge Magister Gabranth Vs. Judgemaster Cid.Schizo Technician: Cid. He seems to actively affect reality with his laws- break his laws, and you lose power and are teleported to jail. Gabranth's power comes through force of arms and a conventional legal system, which won't stand a chance.
Andy Waltfeld: How's about a quick break from all the fighting? Say, a three-legged race wherein all the competitors are bitter (or not-so-bitter) father/son rivals. Dracula and Alucard vs. Big Boss and Solid Snake vs. Vader and Luke vs. Jecht and Tidus. Ties are called by Squall and Laguna.

Schizo Technician: I gotta give it to the vampire family, as both of them can turn into bats and are naturally superior to Puny Humans. The Skywalkers would be the winners with their force-enhanced muscles, but Vader is kinda slow in that ill-fitting life support armor of his. However, if Jecht is in Final Aeon mode, he and Tidus win hands down by virtue of the length of Jecht's stride and ability to literally carry Tidus along with him due to size.


Candy Entrails: The Inglourious Basterds vs. Johann Schmidt, The Red Skull. The fight takes place in a wooded area. Johann's got a sniper rifle, a Mauser, and a knife. The Basterds don't know the Red Skull is present. Can Johann pick off Aldo Raine and his band of avenging Jews before they find him and add him to their body count?
Acacia: Star Control's Dnyarri (just the one, to keep it fair) vs. Futurama's Hypnotoad. I can't believe this wasn't already up.
Chloeraven: Aizen vs. Sylar. Their both crazy but capable dudes, but one can't be killed, and the other stopped a super attack with his finger.
  • I'd have to say Aizen wins; he has the advantage of already being dead (so unless Sylar goes after someone who can see ghosts first he's doomed, plus Aizen can just stick his sword through sylars head then destroy the body with Kido/ Hado. Then after that fight I'd say Sylar would become a hollow, then Arrancar, who would be quite capable of winning the rematch. Final Result 1-1.

Here's one: the cast of [[Persona 4]] versus the surviving members of SEES. Matched up like this:

Souji vs Aigis (With Wildcard)

Yosuke vs Mitsuru

Chie vs Akihiko

Yukiko vs Yukari

Kanji vs Junpei

Teddie vs Koromaru

Naoto vs Ken

Souji and Aigis can use any persona they could get in the game. Everyone else has their exhalted persona, with access to any ability they would have gotten. No items, but would recieve support from Fuuka and Rise (SEES members could request Oracle) Here are a few more for laughs:

Fuuka vs Rise

Nyx vs Izanami

Takaya vs Adachi

Bebe vs Kanji in a sewing contest

  • Deuxhero:Naoto beats Ken for being hot being of use in random encounters, rather than just 1 gimick boss.
  • The Tambourine Man: Here's my analysis:

Souji vs. Aigis: Toss-up. Would likely involve a lot of constant switching, scanning, and would pretty much come down to luck. Alternately, Aigis could shoot him.

Mitsuru vs. Yosuke: Mitsuru. Both have strong magic, but Mitsuru has better healing. If she could charm Yosuke, she would gain a massive advantage. Either party could panic the other, but Oracle's most common effect seems to be to cure status ailments.

Akihiko vs. Chie: Chie. She has the elemental advantage.

Yukari vs. Yukiko: Toss-up. Both sides have strong magic and healing, but neither could do considerable damage to other, turning into a very drawn-out battle.

Junpei vs. Kanji: Junpei. Both typically rely on Physical Attacks, but Junpei's High Counter would force Kanji to rely on magic or take a lot of damage. It could also turn into a drawn-out battle, but Spring of Life would give Junpei an edge.

Koromaru vs. Teddie: Teddie. He's Resilient to Dark, and can heal himself.

Naoto vs. Ken: Naoto, since she has dark spells, which Ken is weak to. She also has a gun.

Fuuka vs. Rise: Toss up. Rise has modestly better stats, but Fuuka could take refuge in Juno, ruling our direct combat. But the only way Fuuka could attack like that would be a deliberatly misfired Oracle. Or, she could just threaten Rise with her Evoker.

Takaya vs. Adachi: Both shoot and kill each other. Everyone Wins.

Deuxhero:Is Aigis hindered by lack of compendium, or does she have the effort to fuse victory cry+ spell master+ Armageddon? If not, Seta actives null+ all Trumpeter and cripples Aigis with debuffs, then kills her while she is trying to either break or Megido him.

The Tambourine Man: The conditions say Souji and Aigis can use any Persona, I'd imagine that includes Satan and Helel.


Candy Entrails: Alex Mercer vs. The Borg. Who assimilates who?


Canonier: Venom vs. Quasimodo.

  • As big a Venom fan as I am, I'm going to have to go with Quasimodo on this one, so long as Quasi stays in the bell tower. If he goes outside, then I see Venom getting the advantage. But as long as he's near those bells, and can start ringing them at the first sign of trouble, Quasi is going to win this hands down.


Joel, Tom, Crow. V.S. Rifftrax. V.S. That Guy With The Glasses, who will win?

Willy Four Eyes: EVERYBODY wins!


Bulldozer Begins: Is if fair to use your own characters? Anyhow: Liquidon Ethereteel (Stationery Voyagers) vs. Ted Sprague. Do you win by who can cause a bigger explosion? Do you win by who can survive exploding? Do you win by not exploding? Do you win by not giving cancer to your significant other?

Or how about Ciem vs. Spider-Man? Do you win by being a better fighter overall? By being a better crimefighter? Or by being better in bed than the other?

Star Trek: Tau Empire vs. the Borg. Two socialist, technologically advanced cultures pitted against one another. Who wins?


Nemo: Ezio From Assassin's Creed 2 Vs Batman as he is in Batman:Arkham Asylum.Both have all the gadgets, weapons and resources they had at the end of their respective games. This includes all moves/skills Batman had to buy, and Ezio has all of his best weapons- Altair's armour, Altair's sword etc. In the interests of balance, Ezio doesn't get the Apple, and Bats is limited only to weapons he had in Arkham Asylum (no freeze-rays/boom tubes etc).
Raging IXA: Ash VS Giygas?
Flyboy 254: This is one I've been thinking about for a while now. The Dead 6 commando team after Sakura against Mustang and his staff.
[[Scribblenauts Edison]] vs. Trogdor
Ash vs. Ash vs. Ash (with one pokemon of his choice)
Emperordaein
  • Edward Elric Vs Toph
  • Roy Mustang vs Combustion Man

The Flash vs. Kirby in an eating contest. The winner would be who could eat the most in 5 minutes. Let's assume the food is unlimited.

Rothul: While Kirby's stomach is bottomless, in a timed contest he is at a severe disadvantage: half of the things he eats, when swallowed, cause him to gain a special ability that prevents him from opening his mouth, until he spits it out. The fact that Kirby has to purge nearly as much as he binges means that The Flash's constant stream of food wins. However, I'm not convinced that Flash could beat that Japanese Hot Dog Eating guy, so who knows?

{{windseer}: sorry,but that's not correct.Kirby just gain powers from other beings and object.When he eats food,he gains health,not powers.I think it would be a very tight decision,since flash is much faster than kirby,so he could chow down in a higher pace.With that said, kirby can simply vacuum clean all the food on it's way.


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