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  • There was a LoadingReadyRun video involving Paul denying having a family of tiny people living under his hat. The commentary discusses the trope.
    Matt: Heh, it would be pretty funny, though. Like, where would they go to the bathroom?
    Paul: Oh... uh... ooh... I have to go now... because... I have a fire... stuck... in my pants...
    (Paul turns and flees from the room)
  • Rooster Teeth Shorts:
    • Burnie insists he wouldn't want a Henckman Brothers Model 607 Trapdoor.
    • Gus's volunteer trip to the Gulf Coast was totally not a secret vacation to Hawaii.
  • Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog has Dr. Horrible, Clark Kenting as Billy, bump into his arch-nemesis. "We're meeting now for the first time!"
    • "What a crazy random happenstance!"
    • Played for Drama at the end in "Everything You Ever". "And I am fiii-ine..."
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  • Commentary! The Musical has Felicia Day say "I certainly wasn't thinking about how cute Nathan is!"
  • From episode 5 of Horrible People:
    Arturo: Where do you think you're going with that turkey baster?
    Michael: Out of my way.
    Arturo: But that doesn't belong to you.
    Michael: Look, Arturo, it's not like I'm going to jack off into this thing and fill it full of semen so I can impregnate one of your female guests.
    Arturo: I think that's exactly what you are going to do.
  • Shortly after The Onion was sold to a Chinese company, an article was written entitled "Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families" that takes this trope to its logical conclusion by stating that nothing happened to some Tibetan protesters, then explaining, in great detail, precisely what didn't happen to them.
    According to the great and trustworthy Chinese government, the eternal silencing of demonstrators was in no way carried out at 6:15 p.m., shortly after dusk, by officers of the People's Armed Police. Moreover, at this time, noxious gases were not at all fired into the teeming crowd, especially not at the children, who failed to fall like sacks of flour onto the pavement below. "Stop, you can't do this," a Tibetan woman reportedly cried as though she were being violently detained, which, as noted, was impossible. "Where are you taking me? Get your hands off me!"
  • Spelljammer: "Oortling Central Command (Terraspace) press release to Surviving Members of the Spelljammer Mail List. Not that there was any reason to panic, anyway."
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  • Ask a Ninja:
    Q: Do ninjas ever get lonely?
    A: You mean are there nights when I sit alone in a cave, eating Cheez-Whiz out of a can, naming my weapons and making little costumes for them, so we can put on elaborate theatric productions. [beat] No, I don't know what you're talking about. I've got friends.
  • That Guy with the Glasses:
    • During a charity drive, one of the viewers asked about the possibility of another Spooning With Spoony video. Spoony immediately flew into a rage about how it was never, ever happening. He had actually filmed said episode just hours earlier, and it was released the next week.
    • Associate TGWTG producer Cinema Snob wants us to know that under no circumstances should anyone think that he owns a copy of Weekend at Bernie's. He's too classy for that.
    • Also, the Christmas horror movie Elves:
      Movie Protagonist: [to her cat] You're the only friend I have left!
      Snob: [glances at Lloyd, his Siamese] Psh, whatever... I have friends! This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way.
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  • From CollegeHumor's Hardly Working, "I repeat, just testing the alarm in the event of a widespread fire in the basement. No fires today, though." Then the building manager makes an announcement about Stick Towels Under Your Doors Day (with crackling flames heard in the background), causing Jake to lampshade why such a day even exists, but all of the others are Too Dumb to Live, since they think Jake is trying to tell a joke that they obviously don't like.
  • Cerberus Daily News is supposedly the comments section of an online newspaper in the Mass Effect universe. Two hundred years previously, that universe suffered a Robot Rebellion. The robots are still out there, and may or may not be spying on the rest of the galaxy. One of the posters in the comments goes by the screen name "Inconspicuous_Organic," and constantly says that he's a "robust human specimen." (He's fooling nobody, but he's not harmful enough to justify booting.)
  • ALT1977 would like you to know that their company definitely wasn't founded by rogue time travelers from 33 years in the future. Also, time travel is impossible, and will never happen. Especially not 33 years from now.
  • From Awkward.:
    Lester: Home so soon?
    Alex: I didn't come from anywhere suspicious.
  • This Cracked article, in which the editor routinely interrupts the testimony of the other writers to strenuously and insistently deny that he had any reason to murder nor any ability or plans to murder the deceased columnist in question, who he probably didn't even see that night and even if he did he certainly didn't intend to murder him. He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't even notice when the actual killer nonchalantly confesses to committing the deed.
  • The Nostalgia Chick:
    • A Running Gag in the "Top 11 Villainesses" countdown. She'll lie very badly that "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed up as [this character] for Halloween"; cut to a picture of her cosplaying, soundtracked with a scream.
    • One of The Nostalgia Chick's recurring characters, Dr. Tease, has a tendency to do this too.
    Nostalgia Chick: Where's Dr. Block?
    Dr. Tease: Oh, uh—not in space.
    • Subverted another time, when she responds "Not indisposed because she and Nella are really the same person." A few episodes later we see Dr. Block, and the Chick is confused because she assumed that they were.
  • The Evil Atheist Conspiracy doesn't exist.
    That's the most important thing to keep in mind when discussing the evil Atheist conspiracy (or eAc as its members call it, that is, if it had any members, which it doesn't, since it doesn't really exist). In fact, you can probably just disregard that first paragraph altogether.
  • From David Mitchell's Soapbox:
    "I do not have OCD. I've checked. Three or four hundred times. And I definitely don't. I stop myself catching it by washing my hands an even number of times. But I'm aware I'm at an at-risk group... I don't care about the odd pound, either, but I want the books balanced, only for the same reasons that if I saw two piles of actual books, I would want them literally balanced. It's neater that way. It's better. How can they not see that?"
  • The Chaser's War on Everything with this gem
  • This joke OK Cupid profile (at least, we all hope it's a joke). Starts with, "I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder."... It Gets Worse.
  • "My name is Olan Rogers. I am not an astronaut, a geophysicist, nor am I dragon slayer."
  • "G is for Giraffe. An animal I have never licked. Never. Never."
  • This parody advertisement for New Girl insists that Zooey Deschanel is "definitely one hundred percent human" with human friends that she would "never dream of eating or enslaving."
  • This message board commenter states "I don’t have a secret stash of illegally taped sex."
  • In Hitherby Dragons "Meredith's Fairy Tale", a witch gives Meredith some tea leaves that are in no way cursed.
  • Happens quite often to Aidric Carter, partly because he's a rebel on the run from a dystopian government.
    Aidric: "Uuuuh, no worries! Nothing to see here! Poor kid took a nasty and extremely unlikely spill that was in no way related to me, that's all!"
  • This post at The Panda's Thumb, discusses an e-mail they received titled "A legitimate question about Evolution with no agenda."
  • Skippy's List has examples:
    151. The proper way to report to my Commander is "Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"
  • The parody Twitter Not A Cop. He just wants to know what illegal crimes you're committing. And because he's a fellow lawbreaker like yourself, not because he's an undercover cop or anything...
  • Quinn in Demo Reel is not a member of the IRA and isn't going to answer any more questions.
  • SCP Foundation:
    • That time somebody pushed Dr. Clef into SCP-682's enclosure was a freak accident and in no way an attempt to kill him. Additionally, the high-speed introduction of the guilty party's face to a table shortly afterward, resulting in a snapped neck, was the result of 682 somehow breaching containment, then promptly returning to its cell. Without disappearing from the camera feed at any point. It was definitely not Dr. Clef.
    • Similarly, when Doctor Kondraki was interviewing Doctor Clef following a very serious containment breach, "Dr. Clef accidentally fell out of his chair and struck his head nine times against the corner of the desk, fracturing his skull and snapping his neck between the second and third vertebrae."
  • Yogscast: Episode 12 from Simon Lane, Lewis Brindley, and Duncan Jones' Voltz Pack series has this little gem:
    <Sips_> hey come check out our cool base guys
    <Sips_> i promise that there's no crazy wormhole thing under our base continually killing us
    • The series Yoglabs is full of this.
  • One of's Harry Potter book jacket disguises declares this book has "no wizards or anything like that."
  • This unblock request at The Other Wiki (lampshaded immediately thereafter).
  • A staple gag on RiffTrax. In the short Three Magic Words, Bill does a particularly epic version in song:
    Bill: "We're not going to strangle you and say a prayer to Lucifer and sacrifice you on the kitchen floor! On the floor! By the Door! We won't dis-em-bowel you on the kitchen floor!"
  • As the writers of Snopes will tell you, this trope is a good rule of thumb for determining if a rumor spawned in a chain email is actually true. If the writer of said email feels the need to preface it with "This is not a hoax!", it probably is.
  • Parodied in a real-life scene in Noob. Kevin (Sparadrap) tries to "kidnap" Stanislas (Arthéon) while wearing a Paper-Thin Disguise. Stanislas recognizes Kevin immediately, calling him "Sparadrap". The answer he gets : "No, no, mister, I'm not Sparadrap! You must be confusing me with another priest in another MMORPG.".
  • In episode 29 of Welcome to Night Vale, there is a disturbingly specific denial of rampant cannibalism. Neither the first nor the last instance of this trope in, by far.
    • Most of the time, these denials come on the behalf of the Mayor, the Council, or the Sheriff's Secret Police. Cecil, for his part, usually tries to be as honest as he's allowed. That said, in the episode 'Cookies', he gives perhaps the most obvious instance of this trope in the entire show, when he tries to reassure everyone that his comments about Girl Scouts needing to hide in the desert was just for hide-and-go-seek, and not about them having to survive an attack from the evil Strexcorp.
    You would never need to hide for those reasons. Why would I even say that? Why would I say anything? Words? No! These are just strange noises I'm making with my face. Strange noises!
    • Before one episode, Night Vale producer Joseph Fink invited fans to a party to celebrate a year of broadcasting the show, where they would certainly not be replaced by "exact duplicates created to do our bidding."
  • The Neopets Staff would like to remind you that there is no such place as Jelly World, and the very idea of it is silly.
  • From the Cracked video, "Sex Offender Shuffle," Arthur Chase's rap features the lines, "I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase / That's a different Arthur Chase."
  • In episode 9 of The Music Video Show. ""You don't see me taking a bunch of Creed albums, putting them in a garbage truck and setting the truck on fire." To be fair, the battery for the camera died before he could do it.
  • SF Debris: Parody Janeway is prone to this.
    "My father died, too, and I totally have an alibi and everything."
  • Ray in the very first episode of Achievement Hunter Minecraft Series does this when he discovers the house they buy was now covered in lava. Gavin, the one who did it, pulls this as well, claiming he was nowhere near it... until a Creeper attacked.
  • In the FAQ of the Pac-Man Dossier:
    Q: Where can I download a copy of the Pac-Man ROMs?
    A: The Pac-Man ROMs are under copyright to NAMCO Bandai, LTD and are their intellectual property. I cannot legally provide you with them, and I certainly cannot recommend that you go to Google right away and search for “pacman puckman ROMs MAME32” because you would probably find them after a little searching.
  • On Lewis Brindley and Simon Lane's fourth series of Trouble in Terrorist Town note , Hat Films' Ross has a bad case of this mixed with Implausible Deniability, something he's become renowned for. He starts by shooting Sips, Duncan Jones (after telling them "poop into mouth", a euphemism for the "Eat Shit" meme that Ross started) and then Lewis. After the alarm is raised due to Ross missing his first few shots at Lewis, he continues to deny it, while firing on the innocents.
    Ross: [after having killed Duncan] Poop into mouth.
    [Ross then wanders out, as Lewis enters to discover there's blood everywhere]
    Lewis: Ross? [promptly gets shot at] Ross is shooting at me!
    Ross: No I'm not! I'm not trying to make you eat shit at all! [keeps firing]
    Lewis: It's definitely Ross, he's shooting me!
    Ross: It's not me! It's not me! It's not me! Who is it?
  • Cracked: "Greatest Customer Feedback Ever Sent to McDonald's": A man found in a ball-pit that he filled with lube claims to have been mistaken for a pedophile. His excuses are extremely convoluted. He even wore a "I Am Not A Child Predator" t-shirt. Either he's a crazy stupid pedophile or a crazy stupid Manchild. Either way, it's not looking so good for him.
  • There is no Usenet cabal. There has never been a USENET cabal. Any claims that a person or administrator might be part of such a cabal are unfounded and spurious. Similarly, there is no Lumber Cartel, and moustachio'd people named Eric are not in any way a hacker organization.
  • Even This Very Wiki is not immune...
  • Many of the pictures on The Comically Serious site come across this way. For example...
  • This Not Always Right post is such a perfect example it makes you wonder if the guy rehearsed it before.
  • Totally Not Robots is a subreddit about humans pretending to be robots but failing badly (by doing every stereotypical robot trope as well as calling anyone who doesn't get the joke a robot).
  • Not this X-Men: First Class meme pic.
  • Jane in Outside Xbox regularly runs into this due to her status as the Token Evil Teammate. Lampshaded in the "Halo Wars 2" Show of the Week episode, where after a sentence where she twice emphasises that she isn't in touch with aliens and they're not asking her to send messages, Andy comments that her denials are "weirdly specific".
    • Over in the Outside Xtra sibling channel, Luke runs into this when he's caught in the midst of drawing Bowsette-style art for a weekly quiz:
      Luke: We're doing normal things! I'm a normal adult man!
  • Comedian Andrew O'Neill references this trope in his video I'm not being racist but... . In summary, he demonstrates that the phrase renders anything suspicious and disturbing, such that if you preface a genuinely non-racist statement with it, it invites it to be interpreted as racist.
  • In the Ultra Fast Pony episode "Bummer In The City", Rarity says all of the following without so much as pausing for breath:
    Thanks, it's as soft as a newborn baby's skin, which has nothing to do with all those babies that went missing I don't know how those skeletons got there what are you a cop I don't have to answer any of these questions I know my rights.
  • Jessica of Fat, French and Fabulous may or may not have broken into a house after getting stranded on the side of the road. She may or may not have also accidentally let out the corgi.
  • In "Very Fast Death Factor" by YouTube channel Periodic Videos, the presenter has a flask containing enough algal bloom toxin to kill 350 people. He ends the video by saying "We're not interested in killing 350 people."
  • The joke website Ted Cruz For Human President is this trope in a nutshell. One example:
    Ted Cruz is only one being and not several. - Guy Manderson


Example of: