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Skewed Priorities / Web Original

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  • From El Chigüire Bipolar: Broken bus glass replaces shooting victim in emergency room.
  • In the Halo ARG HUNT the TRUTH, after Mshak Moradi regains Waypointnote  access after months of being forced to go without:
    Mshak: "Wow, I have a lot of unread messages. Oh no..."
    Maya: "What?"
    Mshak: "The unthinkable has happened! I fell off the leaderboards at Unggoy Farmer."
    Maya: "MSHAK!"
    Mshak: "One billion percent focused!"
  • Not Always Right exhibits numerous cases of this:
    • This woman dodges falling glass for a bunch of flowers.
    • This woman demands that a technician be sent to her house, which was in an earthquake zone.
    • I don't care about floods! Where's my package?
    • This customer wants her cat food. Who cares if the building burns down first? Admittedly, the customer apparently thought he was making up the fire to get out of helping her.
    • This woman asks about her computer despite a tornado warning going off.
    • This woman wonders why no copiers are working, despite everything, herself included, being in ankle-deep water.
    • This customer complains about a package even though deliveries are delayed due to bad weather.
    • This person complains about having to walk an extra block due to an iced-over sidewalk. Thankfully, she got the point when someone else told her that a boy was injured walking across that sidewalk.
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    • This customer can't believe that a store is still open despite a snowstorm. As for them, they came out there to make a return.
    • A thunderstorm interfered with my television service? I still want my television service!
    • This woman insists on going down a closed road despite an officer telling her of the danger.
    • There's a hurricane? Forget that, where's my television service?
    • This woman braves a tornado to get to a store.
    • This man demands his photos, even if the roads are too dangerous due to ice storms!
    • This man values his daughter's harp over his own life. His wife doesn't.
    • This guy would rather argue over the price of a duffel bag than take his wife — who is visibly in labor — to hospital.
    • I don't have backups of my financial system? Screw that, how can I make these error messages go away so I don't have to hit Enter all the time?
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    • £1.36 for some cauliflower? I can't afford that at all! I'll have some £5 lottery tickets instead!
    • This woman will take advantage of discounted prices, broken finger be damned!
    • This woman's concern for her one-month-old baby being locked inside her car during a very hot day immediately disappears when it turns out the only way anyone can get inside the kind of car she has is by smashing a window.
    • This submitter actually has to point out to a problem customer the sheer stupidity of refusing to show her ID to a video game store's cashier, because she automatically assumes the cashier is an illegal immigrant who will steal it, but immediately giving it to the first complete stranger who offers to check it for them.
    • "No, he just wants military satellites to be able to track his model airplane's precise location... but he's afraid of e-commerce."
    • This customer asks to return a Playboy-themed game that she bought for her 8-year-old — not because it's pornographic, but because it requires lots of reading and he can't read very well.
    • This customer admits that she's planning to adopt a pair of cats and then leave them to fend for themselves in a dead relative's large house. Or she's going to live with the cats at that house and let her son fend for himself and the cat they already have at their apartment; she keeps changing her story. She, of course, then has the nerve to accuse the worker of not caring about the animals, because he won't sell them to people who won't actually take care of them.
    • This woman, in need of a flight reschedule, insists on waiting another 24 hours for a flight through Charlotte, because their airport has a Cinnabon.
    • This customer thinks that going to the salon daily is more than treating her son's asthma, which has been acting up for five days.
    • This fast-food chain is more interested in staying open during the lunch rush than keeping the store from burning down.
    • This customer, upon seeing a taxicab involved in an accident, is only concerned with the fact that the taxicab might be the one he called.
    • Could you give that woman CPR somewhere else? I need my ink.
    • Perhaps golf brings out the worst in people, as some believe that finishing a game is more important than the livelihoods or lives of others.
  • In The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles, the Ottawa REDBLACKS' official branding guidelines insists that the team name must always be written in all-caps—and whenever possible, in one thousand point font. The REDBLACKS follow this guideline even when they're presenting a legal argument to Parliament—so their legal documents wind up thousands of pages long, and mostly illegible. Parliament takes one look at this nonsense, and throws their case out.
  • Those Aren't Muskets: "Sleeves". This guy doesn't wear sleeves. His friends give him an intervention for his sleeve-less-ness because they're worried sick about him. They even say he might lose his job. Two of his friends are an alcoholic and a heroin addict. The worst part is he actually does lose his job because of it.
  • Twig: In the middle of a populist revolt, Sylvester opts to use the crisis to pressure his superiors to give the Lambsbridge Gang shiny badges rather than secure tangible power. Later he develops a Villainous Crush on Reverend Mauer, the charismatic rebel leader, and immediately alters to plan to be sure that Mauer is aware of him and sees him as a Worthy Opponent.
  • Walfas:
  • In Worm 21.6, Taylor attacks a gang of criminals inside their hideout. The villains were relaxing while one of the team, Hemorrhagia, prepares a meal for the team to share. Taylor, of course, attacks by flooding the lair with bugs — every single villain is immediately engulfed in a cloud of millions of biting and stinging insects. This attack has, in the past, nearly killed multiple high-profile or nigh-indestructible capes. Hemorrhagia's reaction?
    "No!" Hemorrhagia shouted, trying to cover her chili with a lid, "No, no, fuck you, no!"


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