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Shut Up Hannibal / Web Original

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  • In The Angry Video Game Nerd episode about A Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy Krueger says that nobody is forcing the Nerd to play bad games but himself, making the Nerd Not So Different, but the Nerd just cuts him off with a gut bustingly hilarious reply of "Go yank your cock through your ass, you fucking butt mongrel" and showing off his Power Glove, which he uses to destroy Freddy. The nightmare is ended, but the real battle had just begun.
  • Atop the Fourth Wall
    • Linkara does not use words to shut up any "Hannibals" out there. He punches 'em in the gut while screaming "I AM A MAN!!!".
    • At the conclusion of the first "Mechakara" storyline, Pollo rebuffs the entreaties of the evil version of himself from another dimension and chooses to help Linkara defeat him, giving this gem in response to his other's outrage:
      Mechakara: If you side with him, our kind may not survive!
      Pollo: Maybe, but you're kind of an asshole.
    • When reviewing Action Comics #775, the basis for Superman vs. the Elite, Linkara responds to Manchester Black saying, "Now be a good little dream and say, 'I understand, Mr. Black,'" with this:
      Linkara: Of course, of course. (clears throat) Up yours, Dick Nose. Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I said that wrong. (clears throat again) Cram it, Puss Lips.
  • In episode 15 of the Ask That Guy with the Glasses... well, something like this happens. (For bonus points, this comes in the wake of a particularly lengthy and disturbing rant about starving a Furby to death.) That Guy responds to a question down the vein of "how do I know I'm real, and not a product of my own imagination?" with unusual vitriol, until it descends into a self-serving rant about himself and his own twisted villainy.
    That Guy: ...I don't say this often, but you are wrong, and I am right. I mean, suppose I was the figment of someone else's dream and that the dreamer out there was actually a good, rational person with — eugh! — a conscience. I mean, wouldn't he have gotten rid of me a long time ago? I mean, wouldn't he have the decency to get rid of such concentrated evil like me? No! No! There is no dreamer, and evil. Always. Wins. Thus showing that there is no good in the world, and evil is always rewarded. That's the way it is, and that's the way I always (poof)
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  • On the final episode of Robo Girl, the villain is explaining the mind-screwing origin of The Host to the protagonist when she grabs her throat, saying, "You talk too much!"
  • In an extended scene of The Nostalgia Critic's Moulin Rouge! review, The Nostalgia Chick bitches about why her "friends" even stick around. Nella replied promptly "because you pay me!"
  • There Will Be Brawl: Luigi punches Ganondorf in the face after he tries to corrupt him with mind games.
    Ganondorf: What possessed you in that ally way to deliver such a potent artifact to such a dangerous man? What did you...?
    Luigi: [punch] I've had enough... [punch] ...Of your-a head games! [punch]
    • Unfortunately, the 'Dorf, was unfazed. And fought back.
    • This comes immediately after giving shutting up "End of Days" (Olimar). "Cut the crazy."
  • An awesome villain to villain example from I'm a Marvel... and I'm a DC's "Happy Hour" finale:
    Lex Luthor: Say goodbye to the world you know! From this moment on, you are all at the mercy of Lex Luthor, the greatest criminal mind of our—
    Green Goblin: AHHHH, SHUT UP! (knocks him down with a pumpkin bomb)
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  • At the end of Spoony's review of Ultima IX, the Guardian offers Spoony three choices: destroy the Black Gate, eventually driving away his friends and fans; embrace madness and end humanity's suffering through death; or go through the Black Gate and become one with the Guardian, their combined power making any world theirs for the taking. Spoony responds with a seeming non-sequitir:
    Guardian: I guess we all know how this ends, don't we Avatar?
    Guardian: ...What?
    Guardian: What are you dribbiling about?
    Spoony: Well my friend... That's a Paladin. (Dramatic Gun Cock) (BLAM).
  • In Interlude 26a of Worm, Golem finally has his showdown with Jack Slash, only to find that Jack's more interested in messing with his head than fighting him, at least right away. So we get this:
    Golem: Stop talking, Jack. You’re not that clever, not as sharp as you like to think. You talked to me about keystones? Bullshit. You’re a sad, pathetic killer with delusions of grandeur.
  • In Ask King Sombra: Sombra's Enemy Within (who actually behaves like Canon!King Sombra) from "Ask King Sombra" tries to tell him he's weak. He replies by reminding it that last time it was in control, they got blown up by a baby dragon and a 'pretty pink princess' and that it will listen to him because it needs a willing host and he's its only possible choice.
  • Near the end of season 12 of Red vs. Blue, Agent Washington gets tired of Locus trying to convince him they are Not So Different. He points out that all of Locus' rationalizations are his attempts to hide from the fact that all of his actions are his own responsibility, and that while Wash screwed up in the past, he at least is trying to make up for it now. Consummate Professional Cold Sniper Locus' response? Tackling Washington.
  • RWBY: In "No Brakes", Roman gives Blake a Breaking Speech about how she's Not So Different from the White Fang and should change sides, as the rest of Team RWBY don't trust her anyway. It doesn't take:
    Roman: "Do you really think a little bow on top is gonna make people forget what you were? What you've done?"
    *Weiss tumbles through the door, injured and unconscious, followed by her attacker*
    *Blake kicks him in the face and runs to help Weiss*
  • Laura Hollis in Carmilla has a few of these. Her Shut Up, Hannibal! to Carmilla in S1E05 does much to establish her strength of character and her The Determinator personality.
    Laura: No.
    Carmilla: What?
    Laura: No, I'm not just gonna give up. Maybe you're right, maybe I am a child: a 19-year-old who never left her city limits before she got here. Who thought that university was gonna be some big adventure full of books to read and parties to dance at. Who never thought anything bad could actually happen. Well...turns out the world doesn't work exactly how I thought it would. My university is creepy, and parties are full of numbskulls getting hammered, and girls go missing and nobody seems to care, and maybe that's just the way it is, but that does not mean that I have to accept it. I deserve better. Betty deserves better. Hell...even you deserve better.
  • Rip Van Winkle of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged gets a spectacular one from Alucard when she calls him a "racist, cis-gendered, patriarch-propagating, misogynistic pig".
    Alucard: [catches one of Rip's bullets with his teeth] The funny thing is... [crushes the bullet] in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the 40s, I hate everyone equally, and there's no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference. So in other words, Ms. Van Winkle, CH-CH-CH-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE! [socks Rip across the jaw]
  • The Adventure Zone
    • Magnus delivers one of these to the Animus Bell, a Grand Relic that tries to enthrall people into using it.
    Animus Bell: How would you like to live forever?
    Magnus: I'd hate it. Shut the fuck up.
    • In "Dust," the murderer tries to convince the party that Jeremiah's death was a small price to pay in exchange for saving Dry River from the specter of government corruption. After a short back-and-forth of arguing about it, Errol ends it by saying "Why are we having this fucking conversation? You killed a boy in the street."
  • Early on in Swarm on the Somme, a Grex infectee addresses Allied command, and tells them that they cannot win and should therefore just save everyone a lot of trouble by surrendering now. Winston Churchill responds by emptying a revolver into him, while stating that they don't negotiate with cockroaches.
  • Dreamscape: Drake and Keedran freeze the Overlord of Evil in the middle of his Evil Gloating a couple times in "The Mystery of Melinda".
  • Happened on a meta level in Ruby Quest: Weaver intended for Filbert to give a Hannibal Lecture and The Final Temptation to the protagonists at the end. He never got the chance; the players responded to seeing him again by having Tom beat him to death before he could even speak.


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