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Series / New Kids

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New Kids is a series of comedy sketches from the Netherlands about five antisocial youths from the village of Maaskantje who drive around in a tacky green Opel Manta, listen to happy hardcore, and have a very outdated fashion sense. Their first appearance was on the sketch series "De Pulpshow", but eventually grew into its own series of shorts on Comedy Central. Shortly thereafter, two films based on New Kids were released, New Kids: Turbo and New Kids: Nitro. The creators of the series, Flip van der Kuil and Steffan Haars, who both played characters on the series, have ended the series, but nevertheless still remains a staple in Dutch media.

Note: Not to be confused with the ones on the block.

New Kids contains examples of:

  • '80s Hair: Where do we begin with the mullets and mustaches?
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: At the end of the movie New Kids Turbo, the guys are put in front of a judge, listing all their committed felonies. Inbetween charges of vandalism and theft are charges of unpaid parking tickets and exceeding the speed limit.
  • Berserk Button: Do not ever touch Richard's beer!
  • Black Comedy: People occasionally snuff it for a joke.
  • Call-Back: Steffan & Flip's third film, Bros Before Hos features a few references to the New Kids series, such as the posters clearly seen in the shops and the parody of the shootout from the first film during the credits. Bonus points for featuring most of the cast from the series.
  • Car Fu: A common way to kill characters in the series off is to have them run over by a vehicle, which is later lampshaded in the second movie.
    He got hit by a car? That's getting common around here.
  • Cordon Bleugh Chef: Henk, owner of 't Pleintje. He deep-fries bun rolls and Bounty bars, both while they're still in their wrapping. His typical Dutch food seems to be okay, though.
  • Creator Provincialism: Steffan (the actor who plays Robbie, as well as one of the directors/writers) & Tim Haars (the actor who plays Gerrie) were both born and raised in Maaskantje.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: At the end of the movie New Kids Turbo, this gets inverted and Played for Laughs. When being charged with and found guilty of multiple crimes, which alongside some minor ones include 39 accounts of attempted murder, they are ultimately sentenced with... 240 hours of community service each.
  • Drives Like Crazy: The Red One in New Kids: Turbo where he's renamed Crazy Mongo and turns out to be a truck driver. He ends up taking out the entire special force at the end by running them over with a beer truck. Whether he did that intentionally remains unclear.
  • Genre Shift:
    • The first two seasons resembled a sketch show being viewed on a television set by the five New Kids. The third season, however, dropped the sketches entirely and focused on the five New Kids going about their daily business.
    • Could also relate to the movies, as Turbo was more true to the series than Nitro, down to the soundtrack (Turbo kept the original Happy Hardcore, Nitro tried to shift to Eurodance)
  • Greasy Spoon: 't Pleintje is the Dutch variant of this, offering a variety of typical Dutch fast food as take-aways. The snack bar was a a real place not in Maaskantje, but in Schijndel (see Small Town Rivalry) before it was demolished in early 2020.
  • Impressive Pyrotechnics: Always commented by Richard, for example, when he watches a gas station blow up while sitting right opposite it or a missile strikes Schijndel in Turbo.
    "Such a fireball, boy! Bam!"
  • Intimate Telecommunications: In New Kids: Turbo, despite having a girlfriend, Rikkert is still a virgin and so desperate that he tries to ask a phone sex lady to come to Maaskantje for a date.
  • Obligatory Swearing: The Dutch can be quite unashamedly foul-mouthed, but New Kids takes this up to eleven by sometimes using swear words as full stops (unless "jonge" = "boy" serves as a full stop).
    • This is even more hilarious in the German dub which tries to translate Dutch expletives literally. The translation of "kut", the most common swear word in New Kids, alternates between what amounts to "cunt" and what amounts to "pussy" while always meaning the same.
  • Police Are Useless: Adrie, seemingly the only cop in town, is particularly inept at his job, showing this by accidentally shooting himself with his own gun, running people over (see Car Fu above), constantly trashing the squad car in Nitro, and letting the New Kids constantly push him around.
  • Put on a Bus: There was originally a sixth member of the New Kids named Danny played by Peter Vernhout. He was later booted out of the group for reasons unknown. He made minor roles in both the films, though, both of which involve him dying.
  • Reset Button: Many characters in the series have been shot, blown up, fired, etc. only to return later in the series.
  • Rich Language, Poor Language: In the German dub, the New Kids are dubbed by their own actors, thick Dutch accents and all. Everyone else has proper German voice-actors.
  • Running Gag: Whenever someone steps on a street in Maaskantje, they're run over.
  • Small Town Rivalry: Shown throughout the series, with Maaskantje going up against the neighboring village of Schijndel.
  • Sex as Rite-of-Passage: Rikkert feels rather uneasy about still being a virgin, so it's a great relief for him to lose his virginity with his girlfriend even if said "sex" only consists of putting it in once for a few seconds.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: In the first movie, the five guys stop at a barn to get some weapons, only to find out that the farmer is a Neo Nazi who obtained the weapons by handing hidden Jews over to the Nazis. Gerrie ends up accidentally shooting him.
  • Ultimate Job Security:
    • In one of the sketches, Gerrie takes a forklift from his work, which ultimately ends up with a coworker getting killed as a result. Despite this, he keeps his job until the first movie, where he looses it by driving the forks through a television.
    • Adrie the cop, who loses his job in the first film by running over a family with a police van. He is later given his job back in the second film, only to lose it again.
    • Robbie and Richard, both of whom are maintenance workers at the local park. Neither are seen doing any actual work and are finally fired in Turbo after their boss catches Richard's dog gnawing at a hoe.

Alternative Title(s): New Kids Turbo, New Kids Nitro