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Series / Lock, Stock...

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The TV series spin-of of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels which aired on Channel 4 in 2000. None of the actors or characters from the film returned, but it was very much a Spiritual Successor — a Strictly Formula crime caper comedy set in East London, with four lads, a menacing London Gangster of whom they frequently ran afoul, Cluster F Bombs, Cockney slang and witty dialogue coming out the ears. The series consists of one 90-minute TV movie followed by six 50-minute episodes; each episode title begins with the words "Lock, Stock and", with the rest of the title referring to the MacGuffin of the week (or one of them at any rate). Guy Ritchie, who was working on Snatch. at the time when this series was being made, is credited as one of the writers of the first episode, in addition to being an executive producer along with Matthew Vaughn and, err, Chris Evans (not that one).

Lock, Stock and a Fuckin' Tropes List

  • Actor Allusion: Crime boss Miami Vice's business interests naturally extend to the local drug trade. He's played by Ralph Brown, who is best known for playing Danny the Dealer in Withnail and I.
  • Aerosol Flamethrower: This is the preferred weapon for Firebug.
  • Afro Asskicker: Bunny, the cocaine-snorting mook in "Lock, Stock and One Big Bullock", sports an inmpressive 'fro.
  • The Alcoholic: All three Russians in "Lock, Stock and One Big Bullock". Vodka is their drink of choice (obviously), and they have a seemingly endless supply.
  • The Alleged Car: Lee's Triumph Stag — Truth in Television as they had a reputation for unreliability. It breaks down in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves", setting off a whole storyline as the lads, in their desperation to get back to London, steal the next vehicle they see ... which happens to be the van containing Miami's racehorse. In later episodes, the lads have a different car.
  • All Men Are Perverts: The lads are established as this very early on in the first episode, when they, being the owners of a pub, have come up with a way to get attractive women to perform stripteases in front of them for free.
    Jamie: [enters the pub and walks past several pretty women and a sign saying "Auditions", into a room in which a woman is stripping in front of Lee, Bacon, Moon and a video camera] What's goin' on?
    Lee: We're auditionin' erotic dancers.
    Jamie: We ain't gonna have strippers in 'ere.
    Lee: I know that. But they don't.
    [Jamie smiles]
  • Artistic License: In "Lock, Stock and One Big Bullock", the titular MacGuffin is clearly a mature bull, and it is implied that Moon's relatives are planning to make a lot of money from him by breeding. However, a bullock — which is what the animal is stated to be in the title — is a young castrated bull.
  • Asshole Victim: Barry Blue (a.k.a. Broadmoor Barry), a psychotic loan shark who is said to have killed his pet rottweiler "because it looked at him funny", may be many things ... but he's not a grass. That, however, is what Miami has him killed for after Trevor backs up Lee's unfounded accusation about Barry being an informant; both men have good reasons for wanting him out of the picture Trevor because he's just had a severe beating from the guy, and Lee because he foolishly borrowed money from him and can't repay.
  • Badass Longcoat: The lads are sometimes seen wearing black leather overcoats.
  • Bald of Evil: Miami Vice, the local crime boss, is a ruthless, hard-as-nails villain ... and bald. Same goes for Firebug. Nefarious is evidently trying to invoke this trope, as is Miami's underling Trevor.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: The porno movies the lads get hold of in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves" all involve sex with animals. Some of them have Parallel Porn Titles like Beauty and the Farmyard Beast. The following reactions occur when they show one of the films to Nefarious in the hope of selling the lot to him:
    Jamie: Bloody hell.
    Bacon: Bloody hell. That's not faked, is it?
    Nefarious: Jesus, that's a donkey, innit?
    Bacon: No, it's an 'orse.
    Jamie: Nice 'orse, that. Thoroughbred.
  • Binge Montage: Happens a few times, notably with the hen party in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves" (which ends with all eighteen of the ladies comatose thanks to the knock-off "Bacradi") and in "Lock, Stock and Two Sips" with the lads getting drunk with the titular old villain.
  • Black Comedy Animal Cruelty: We have a racehorse that gets painted in order to disguise it and a bull that gets fed vodka. Both played for laughs.
  • Bland-Name Product: The Dutch guys are purveyors of very dodgy knock-off brands like "Vagira" (imitation viagra, which triggers a fatal heart attack for anyone unfortunate enough to take it) and "Bacradi" (a colourless spirit note  which renders an entire hen party unconscious, and when they do wake up they all have no memory of the previous 24 hours).
  • A Bloody Mess: An odd variation in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves", since it is blood, albeit animal blood from a bucket left lying around in Nefarious' meat locker.
  • Bottomless Magazines: Averted when the Russians go after Miami; after killing two of his mooks with More Dakka, they turn to the man himself only for their guns to go 'click' because they've used up all their ammo.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Lee's narration monologue at the start of "Lock, Stock and Two Sips" includes an example of this.
  • Britain Is Only London: East London, specifically; Miami Vice and Three Feet routinely tool up whenever they have to cross the River. That said, in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves" the horse race is at Fontwell Park in Sussex, in addition to which the lads subsequently venture beyond the M25 again in order to visit Moon's family, whose travelling fairground is in Kent.
  • British Brevity: The series consists of a 90-minute TV movie ("Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves") followed by six 50-minute episodes.
  • Call-Back: In "Lock, Stock and Two Hundred Smoking Kalashnikovs", the lads turn up at Nefarious's place in a van, offering to sell him the contents. He asks if it's "another horse", referring to when they did the same thing in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves".
  • Captain Obvious: Just when Bacon asks Two Sips why he's called that, the guy necks a pint in two gulps.
  • Car Cushion: A van cushion for Larry Harmless; to add insult to injury, it's his van.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Lee is introduced as one of these in the first episode ("Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves"), although this aspect of his character is rarely touched upon. When he does get a snog off Tanya, his reaction is one of shock and surprise (although given the context, it 's hardly a romantic gesture).
    Bacon: Lee's passion is for the ladies. Shame it's not a two-way street.
  • Character Narrator: The lads take it in turns to be this in some but not all episodes.
  • Chekhov's Gun: If a gun is brandished, it will get fired more often than not, even if it's just the once. Same goes for the anti-tank missile.
  • Christmas Every Day: It's the motto of Lapland, Miami's Christmas-themed strip club that the lads like to frequent. And yes, the strippers all wear Sexy Santa Dresses at the start of their acts, at any rate.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Its a spin-off from Guy Ritchie's movie, so there's plenty of this.
  • Colorblind Casting: No mention is made of the fact that one of the four lads (Bacon) is black. Also possibly at play with Firebug (who's black) being the uncle of Lee (who's white), although he could be an uncle by marriage.
  • Con Man: Robbie Rossi, purveyor of knock-off designer clothing which will later get seized by heavies posing as customs men. He makes the mistake of trying this on Miami Vice, and that's the last we see of Robbie.
  • Cool Car: A few examples, most notably Miami's Rolls-Royce and the vintage Armstrong Siddeley that everyone's so keen to get their hands on in "Lock, Stock and a Fistful of Jack and Jills".
  • Counterfeit Cash: In "Lock, Stock and a Fistful of Jack and Jills", a bag-load of it is repeatedly swapped over with an identical bag containing a million quids-worth of real money. Larry Harmless ends up inadvertently using the fake money to pay off an enemy, with fatal results, while the Dutchies set fire to the real money in the belief that it's the fake stuff.
  • Crappy Carnival: The fairground in Kent run by Moon's dodgy relatives.
  • Delivery Guy Infiltration: "Lock, Stock and Two Hundred Smoking Kalashnikovs" has an assassin disguised as a pizza delivery boy, complete with a moped that he uses as his getaway vehicle.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Quite a few of the predicaments that the lads find themselves in are the direct result of their own poor decision-making. Why, for example, would they want to buy knock-off viagra pills from the Dutchies after seeing what their "Bacradi" did?
  • Dirty Cop: Miami has two senior Metropolitan Police officers (recognisably an Assistant Commissioner and a Chief Superintendent, going by the epaulettes on their uniforms) on his payroll.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: When Three Feet and Trevor get beaten up when they pay a visit to Eddie the Diamond's bar in "Lock, Stock and Two Hundred Smoking Kalashnikovs", Miami calls in every local villain he can think of, bribes the police to look the other way and buys a vanload of AK47s (hence the episode's title) and an anti-tank missile in order to take Eddie down. Things do not go according to plan because the lads inadvertently steal the guns, but the intent is clearly there.
  • The Don: Miami Vice, who controls all the crime in East London ... which happens to be where the lads' pub is located.
  • Drinking Game: You wouldn't want to bet against Bacon in a vodka derby. Especially when one of his opponent's shots has been switched for turpentine.
  • The Dragon: Three Feet, Miami Vice's enforcer.
  • Episode Finishes the Title: Each episode is entitled "Lock, Stock and [MacGuffin of the Week]".
  • Everyone Went to School Together: All four of the lads, plus Tanya and Robbie Rossi.
  • Expy: Most of the characters are this to characters from the movie. The main gang consists of four lads who are small-time criminals engaging in various schemes and scams; in both the movie and the TV series, one of them is a chef, and one of them is called Bacon. They often interact with a fence who is of Greek ethnicity note  and invariably cross paths with the local crime boss, who has a scary enforcer. Plus, there's a gang of sharply-dressed yardies whose leader is known for setting people on fire if they displease him.
  • Filth: Hoo boy. The show has strippers, a brothel, a sex shop and a couple of plots involving the distribution of pornographic videos. At one point, the lads even try to make their own porno movie. And there's a watch which has a penis as the minute hand; apparently, it's a collector's item.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: The four main lads:
    • Bacon is Phlegmatic — straightforward, laid-back and sensible.
    • Jamie is Choleric — opportunistic, business-minded and impulsive.
    • Lee is Sanguine — eager, optimistic and naive.
    • Moon is Melancholic — pessimistic, anxious and fussy.
  • Friends Are Chosen, Family Aren't: You can't blame Moon for wanting to have as little as possible to do with his Roguish Romani relatives; he doesn't even object when his friends describe them in fairly derogatory terms.
    Bacon: When are your family going to understand, they ain't fit to mix in normal society?
  • Fun with Subtitles: While the lads recall the time the "Bacradi" knocked out an entire hen party, the Dutch guys (who supplied said knock-off booze) laughingly mutter to each other in their own language:
    Johann: They were lucky. How many died in Utrecht?
    Jordi: Twenty four.
  • Gilligan Cut: Used a few times.
    • When the lads go to the races in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves", Jamie bets Moon £20 that he can sweet-talk his way into the VIP enclosure. Cut to ... Jamie handing Moon £20 in front of two burly security guards.
    • In "Lock, Stock and Two Sips", Jamie tells the other lads that Uncle Keith's condition of lending him the money to pay off Miami is that they've got to put an expat mate of his up in the pub for a few days as he's got to lie low when he gets back to London due to his being a marked man. Lee asks if they've got to go to "City or Stansted" to pick him up (referring to the two smallest of London's five airports note ). Jamie replies that it's not that simple. Cut to ... the four lads in a rowing boat, meeting up with a dilapidated trawler somewhere on the Thames Estuary. At night.
  • Grievous Bottley Harm: Attempted by Johann and Jordi when Firebug confronts them; as he's got a gun, though, they've got no chance.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Robbie Rossi is a Con Man whose favoured scam, the "Limehouse Lag" (he sells dodgy goods in bulk and then steals them back using heavies posing as customs men, leaving the mark with no money and no goods), is recognised by Miami as being a scam run by Robbie's dad back in The '80s. Miami claims to have run Rossi senior out of London for this (explaining why Robbie's family moved Oop North), and it is implied that he has Robbie killed for coming back to London and running the same scam.
    • We also see a mother-daughter example with Tanya, who works as a stripper in Lapland; Moira, her mum, owns 10% of said strip club and is implied to have been a stripper herself back in the day.
  • London Gangster: The main antagonist, Miami Vice, is one of these. So's Larry Harmless.
  • MacGuffin: Several per episode, one of them usually forming the second part of the title. Drugs, guns, porno movies, a racehorse, a vintage car full of money and a very angry bull are but half-a-dozen examples.
  • Man on Fire: Anyone who annoys Firebug gets set on fire.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: Trevor, one of Miami's underlings, comes across as this — the guy even breaks out into a sweat when tasked with doing anything villainous. That said, when he does screw up he doesn't try to pin the blame on anyone else, which Miami respects. Barbie also counts she's Miami's secretary and invariably comes across as a woman who just happens to work for a villain rather than being an actual villain herself.
  • Mob War: When he thinks that Eddie the Diamond is muscling in on his patch, Miami engages in one of these. Turns out, though, that Miami is actually getting caught in the crossfire between Nefarious and a gang of Turks who are trying to run him off the manor and thus secure a monopoly on the local kebab shops.
  • Mood Whiplash: Happens in "Lock, Stock and Spaghetti Sauce" when Johann and Jaap joke around and play You Talkin' to Me? with Heinrich's gun, only to hand it back to Heinrich ... who uses it to shoot himself. The Dutchies, hitherto happy-go-lucky if somewhat immoral characters, cross the Despair Event Horizon as a result of this and are noticeably in shock for the rest of the episode.
  • More Dakka: It's the only way Bunny and Macca know how, probably because they're always off their tits on cocaine. Which is why Miami decides that their services are no longer required. Nefarious and Kouros also invoke this to get back at the Turks, once they get hold of the AK47s.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Tanya, one of the girls who works in Miami's strip club. Other girls are seen flashing their assets in scenes set in said club, but she's the one who gets the most screen time.
  • My Local: A variation, as the protagonists own the pub. It's called the Lock, providing a partial Title Drop.
  • Mystery Meat: Kouros from the kebab shop is in no way fussed about what sort of meat goes into his kebabs; at one point he refers to trapping pigeons on the roof because he's low on chicken. When the lads go into the meat business in "Lock, Stock and One Big Bullock", he becomes one of their customers and doesn't mind that a box of what he's told is rabbit meat contains at least one cat collar. That said, he does ask them to provide him with lamb "from actual lambs" for a family event.
  • National Stereotypes: The Greeks run a kebab shop (and are feuding with some Turks who also run a kebab shop), the Dutchies are stoners, the Russians are psychos who drink vodka straight from the bottle, and the German has a mullet.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: The Dutchies aren't as dumb as they look — in their first scene, they drug a van driver and steal everything from the back of his vehicle — but they are more trouble than they're worth (in the incident in question, the stuff they stole happens to belong to a certain Mr. Vice).
  • Oh, Crap!: In "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves", the lads have this reaction when Miami describes his missing pornographic watch ... which Lee's wearing on his wrist.
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: Eddie the Diamond is a young white man with the speech pattern and dress sense of Ali G. Despite this, he is the leader of a gang made up entirely of young black men, which may well make him an example of a Mighty Whitey, albeit one who claims N-Word Privileges.
  • The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: The Lock — the pub that the lads run — is hardly ever seen to be open for business; they themselves are often seen to be drinking there, and they'll use it as a base for their various hustles, but it's rare for them to have any actual customers. An early scene in "Lock, Stock and Two Sips", in which it's stated that they've been doing a roaring trade of late, is an exception.
  • Prison Episode: "Lock, Stock and a Good Slopping Out" — in which Miami gets Bacon, Jamie and Lee sent to prison on trumped-up charges so that they can obtain that particular episode's MacGuffin ... which is in the possession of an acquaintance of Miami's who's doing time. Moon gets out of going to prison on account of his (pre-existing) criminal record, a detail that Miami circumvents by getting him a job in the prison as the chef who runs the cookery course for the cons.
  • Punny Name: Being a London Gangster, Larry Harmless is anything but. This trope is also at play with the prison the lads get sent to in "Lock, Stock and a Good Slopping Out" it's called HMP Nickham ('nick' being British police/criminal slang for 'arrest').
  • Pyromaniac: Firebug has a tendency of setting people ablaze.
  • Replacement Goldfish: Even on a series this short. The two Dutchmen in "Lock, Stock and Four Stolen Hooves" are Johann and Jordi. Subsequently, Jordi is replaced by Jaap (played by a pre-Office Martin Freeman).
  • Scary Black Man: Firebug, a.k.a. Lee's Uncle Doug, is this even before you factor in his pyromania.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Robbie Rossi — "the shoes were Kenzo, the suit was Armani, the shirt was Turnbull & Asser". Although they could be knock-offs, given his line of business. Firebug also counts as one of these.
  • Shotgun Wedding: When the lads get the job of filming a wedding in "Lock, Stock and Spaghetti Sauce", it's one of these — the bride is visibly pregnant and a fight breaks out among the two families. The lads get more than they bargained for as they are called in to help when the groom tries to do a runner; after frog-marching him into the church, they are rewarded with sexual favours from the bridesmaids.
  • Shout-Out: Miami's name is obviously this to the TV show, although when he's introduced on stage during the charity gig in "Lock, Stock and Two Sips", the band plays the theme from Hawaii Five-O. When chewing out Bunny and Macca (who seemingly can't do a job without cocaine and excessive gunfire), he invokes Scarface...
    Miami: You all think you're fuckin' Al Pacino! I can't think of a single job when you haven't killed someone.
    • Miami 's Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow looks very similar to Harold Shand's one in The Long Good Friday.
    • A poster for Get Carter can be seen adorning one of the walls in the pub.
  • Smoking Is Cool: Most characters smoke and make it look like this. The lads smoke cigarettes, while Miami Vice likes big cigars.
  • Taking the Bullet: Three Feet does this for Miami, although it turns out the gunman was actually trying to hit Nefarious.
  • Those Two Guys. The Dutchies — Johann and Jordi (later Johann and Jaap).
  • Torture Technician: Three Feet fancies himself as one of these to the point of having put together a DIY circuit board to electrocute his victims, although Miami quickly loses his patience with this method since the thing doesn't work half the time.
  • Traumatic Haircut: Barbie, Miami's secretary, is subjected to this more than once by her employer's enemies. It never ends well for them when they catch up with Miami himself.
  • Undying Loyalty: Three Feet to Miami, to the point of quite literally Taking the Bullet. Also, Kouros displays this to Nefarious; when he thinks that he's been killed by Firebug, he has no hesitation in attacking the latter, who's carrying a gun, with a meat cleaver.
  • Villains Out Shopping: Miami likes to unwind by practicing his golf swing in his warehouse or at a driving range (although he sometimes combines business with pleasure by using a mook who's displeased him as a target). For putting, he'll use the office.
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: Two Sips is introduced as throwing up; justified, since he's no sailor and has just come to London from Bilbao on a fishing trawler.
  • Writers Cannot Do Math: At play in "Lock, Stock and Two Hundred Smoking Kalashnikovs", given that Miami only buys four dozen (48) of them for his turf war.
  • The Yardies: Firebug and his crew. As with Rory Breaker and his gang in the film, they are classier and more sharply-dressed than most examples.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: Taffy the alcoholic Welshman is given one simple task by Larry Harmless. When he fails, he's buried alive in concrete.