Virginia: But you know we're not allowed pets or other nuisances here. It's in the lease, "No pets or other nuisances".
Clover: Can't think why they let you live here, then.
— Virginia Watter trying to tell off Clover Mason, "A New Lease"
It's Awfully Bad for Your Eyes, Darling... is a Britcom that aired on BBC1 in 1971, starring Jane Carr, Jennifer Croxton, Elizabeth Knight, and Joanna Lumley.
The series followed the misadventures of four posh female flatmates - Clover Mason (Knight); a ditzy blonde with her head in the clouds; Gillian Page-Wood (Carr), better known as "Pudding" due to her love for eating; Samantha Ryder-Ross (Lumley), who has a sexual appetite that could rival Pudding's appetite; and Virginia Watter (Croxton), who is the most sensible, if not much too bossy for her own good. Frequent visitors to the flat include wannabe actor Bobby Dutton (Jeremy Lloyd), Samantha's boyfriend; and Dominic (Jonathan Cecil), Virginia's boyfriend.
Critics didn't like the series, considering it a lesser version of series such as The Liver Birds and Take Three Girls, and so the series was never repeated. All of the episodes are now lost, barring the first, "A New Lease".
The series is mostly forgotten in the modern day, but it was on set where Jeremy Lloyd first met David Croft and pitched Are You Being Served? to him; AYBS? debuted the following year, and the two would go on to create 'Allo 'Allo! in The '80s.
These Tropes are Awfully Bad for Your Eyes, Darling:
- Accidental Murder: When discussing what to do with the passed-out Kenneth in "A New Lease", Virginia tells the others to leave him on the fire escape. Clover is against this, worrying he might fall out, to which Pudding adds that they'll be had up for manslaughter.
- Added Alliterative Appeal:
- When Virginia asks if there has been any post in "A New Lease", Pudding tells Samantha that she's expecting another "passion-packed postcard".
- In the same episode, Clover tells Hugo that Pudding's been having the most "terrible time with her tummy".
- Agony of the Feet: Bobby tries to wear Kenneth's shoes in "A New Lease", but has to take them off as they are too small:Bobby: Has anyone got a boyfriend with bigger feet? These shoes have crippled mine.
- Alliterative Name: Bernard Boxer, a One-Shot Character from "The Making of Pudding".
- Alliterative Title: Episode two is titled "Sweet Sunday".
- Big Eater: Pudding earned her nickname as she is so fond of food.
- British Brevity: Only a Pilot and six episodes were produced in one year.
- Buxom Beauty Standard:
- In "A New Lease", Samantha grumpily remembers Bobby dancing cheek to cheek with "Miss Dairy Produce, with the biggest chest I've ever seen".
- Also from "A New Lease", Hugo can't help himself from looking down at Samantha's cleavage every time she talks to him.
- Comically Missing the Point: After Pudding quotes Ernest Dowson in "A New Lease", Samantha asks her who said that, only for a confused Pudding to reply that she did.
- Disguised in Drag: In the Pilot, Bobby is disguised as one of Samantha's female flatmates to stop her mummy from meeting him.
- The Ditz: Clover is a terrible case, going about her business with not a second thought in her head. For example, in "A New Lease", when she finds her friend Kenneth drunk and passed out in her hallway, she starts cooing over how cute he looks as one would to a newborn baby.
- Double Entendre: On the topic of coffee in "A New Lease", Pudding tells Virginia that Samantha needs it. An annoyed Virginia responds that Samantha always needs it.
- Dumb Blonde: Clover is blonde and could best be described as the ditzy one of the four flatmates:Clover: "Dear Miss Mason..."? Oh, that's me.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: The Pilot didn't include Clover and had Anna Palk playing Virginia instead of Jennifer Croxton.
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: In "A New Lease", the girls are visited by encyclopædia salesman Hugo and mistake him for their landlord, Horatio. When Horatio does arrive, they don't believe who he is and tell him they already saw him and signed a lease. It's only when Clover reads what they signed, discovering they agreed to buy twenty-four leather-bound encyclopædias and that Horatio actually is their landlord.
- Fowl-Mouthed Parrot: Before Horatio the landlord's visit in "A New Lease", Clover worries that her mynah bird Morris might say something obscene.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Samantha, Pudding, and Clover aren't too fond of Virginia, finding her bossy, demanding, and just not fun to be around.
- Get Out!: After the vacuum Bobby promised to fix in "A New Lease" malfunctions and blows up the fuse box, Samantha tells him to get out of the flat.
- The Ghost: Roger, a friend of Samantha's who writes to her in "A New Lease" that he's going to prison.
- Green-Eyed Monster: In "A New Lease", Samantha reminds Bobby of a large-chested girl he danced with at the party the night prior in a very jealous manner.
- Hangover Sensitivity: After a wild party, Samantha, Clover, and Bobby spend the start of "A New Lease" in pain with terrible headaches:Pudding: How do ya feel?Samantha: My tongue tastes of rancid moss, my skull's being split to pieces with an axe, but apart from that, I'm alright.
- Irony: Pudding tells Samantha off for being greedy in "A New Lease", despite the fact that she's called "Pudding" solely due to the fact that she eats so much.
- Last-Name Basis: Hugo from "A New Lease" calls Clover "Miss Mason" out of respect as she is a possible customer.
- Meaningful Name: Gillian is nicknamed "Pudding", thanks to her love for food.
- Mistaken Identity: When the girls are expecting a visit from their landlord, Horatio, in "A New Lease", encyclopædia salesman Hugo comes to the door answering a letter from Clover, leading the girls to mistake him for their landlord. When Horatio does arrive, the girls have no clue who he is and are incredibly rude to him.
- No Full Name Given: We don't get to find out Dominic's surname.
- No Sympathy: When Virginia finds a hungover Clover in her bed in "A New Lease", she cares little for her troubles and more that she's in her bed rather than her own.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Pudding's real name is "Gillian", only she's hardly ever called that.
- Only Sane Woman: Virginia is the responsible flatmate and has to try to keep the others in line. Notably, she's the only one to not attend the party in "A New Lease" and spends the next morning giving them all a dressing down for their behaviour that night.
- Pain to the Ass: In "A New Lease", Hugo tries to sit on the girls' sofa, only to accidentally sit on a wine bottle and whine in pain.
- Pilot: The series had one aired a few months before the series. Notably, Elizabeth Knight's Clover was missing, while Virginia was played by Anna Palk instead of Jennifer Croxton.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Despite quoting him, Pudding is unfamiliar with Ernest Dowson in "A New Lease":Pudding: Ah, the days of wine and roses. They are not long.Samantha: Who said that?Pudding: I did?
- Pretty in Mink: After receiving three letters from Yorkshire in "A New Lease", Samantha remarks they're probably from her mummy, asking for her fur coat back.
- Pun: Two examples in "A New Lease":
- After Clover mentions Morris, her mynah bird, was fed maraschino cherries, Samantha jokes that its illegal to feed alcohol to minors.
- When Horatio smells something funny, he gets told what it is:Horatio: Well, what is that disgusting smell?Pudding: Oh, I've just remembered - it's Bobby's shoes. I left them in the oven.Bobby: So, if necessary, I can leave hotfoot. (Beat) No?
- Punny Name: In "A New Lease", Clover gets a mynah bird she names "Morris", which amuses Pudding as a Morris Minor is a type of car.
- Really Gets Around: While dating Bobby, Samantha still has a long line of men she is getting with. In "A New Lease", she tells Pudding that after their last party, she has dates lined up every single night for the next fortnight.
- Roommate Com: The series follows four posh female flatmates who are all wildly different to one another.
- Short-Runners: The series only aired a Pilot and six episodes in one year.
- Shout-Out:
- In "A New Lease", Pudding quotes Ernest Dowson's poem, "Vitae Summa Brevis".
- When Virginia reads an overdue letter from the library in "A New Lease":Virginia: "The librarian wishes to remind you that the following books are now overdue: Portnoy's Complaint, Lady Chatterley's Lover, The Sensuous Woman, and the Kinsey Report".Pudding: I remember that last one. It said that married couples do it 2.8 times a week.Clover: I wonder what they do on the .8 occasion...
- Before the girls' landlord, Horatio, arrives in "A New Lease", Virginia instructs Pudding to stand with both feet wide apart to cover wine stains on the floor, and with her hands over the cigarette burns on the sofa. Samantha watches her do so, and after seeing the bent-over position she's in, compares it to "something out of the Karma Sutra".
- The fourth episode takes its title from the play The Man Who Came to Dinner.
- Slut-Shaming: Virginia is always taking cracks at Samantha's need for constant sex. For example, in "A New Lease":Pudding: Will you lend us some of your coffee?Virginia: No.Pudding: Samantha needs it.Virginia: Samantha always needs it.
- Small Name, Big Ego: As shown in "A New Lease", Bobby thinks himself to be a famous actor. Samantha takes none of this and reminds him that only his nose appeared in a Captain Birdseye commercial.
- Sticky Fingers: As revealed in "A New Lease", Samantha has a habit of taking clothes from the other girls and stuffing them in her bed.
- Stuff Blowing Up: In "A New Lease", Bobby tries to show the girls their vacuum after he fixed it. He plugs it into the wall, only for it to spray him with dust and debris, followed by the fuse box on the wall exploding.
- Trash of the Titans: After a wild party in "A New Lease", the girl's flat is overcome with rubbish and mess, which is bad as their landlord Horatio is coming that day to renew their lease:Horatio: You're not fit to live in a pigsty. Look at this place!
- Trivial Title: The series' title comes from a line in "A New Lease", the first episode:Virginia: God, look at this lot! "Final demand"!Clover: Oh, I shouldn't read any of those.Samantha: They're awfully bad for your eyes, darling.
- Upper-Class Twit: Bobby is best described as a "toffee-nosed swinger".
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: As revealed in "A New Lease", Virginia keeps postcards from Dominic in her bra.
- What Did I Do Last Night?: At the start of "A New Lease", Bobby struggles to remember what he did during the party the night before.
