Moe: Greetings and salutations! For we are the Three Stooges. I'm Moe.
Larry: I'm Larry.
Curly: I'm Curly. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Moe: Quiet, you apple-head!
Moe: Why you...
Larry: Hey, you guys, quit stallin'. We got a page to talk about.
Moe (to Larry): For once in your life, you're right. (to Curly) Remind me to kill you later!
Curly: Soitently! I'll make a note of it. (He searches his pockets) I ain't a got pencil or paper.
Moe: Never mind. (he slaps Curly)
Curly: Oh! I didn't do nothin'!
Larry: Come on, quit stallin'!
Moe: Gonna start that again? (he hits Larry on the head) Now, as I was saying, this is a "self-demonstrating" article...
Curly: If it's self-demonstratin', we shouldn't have to be doin' this at all. (Moe slaps him) Oh! Hmmph!
Moe: It's 'cause we're demonstrating our selves, you numbskull! Now, shaddup!
Larry: Yeah! (Moe glares at him) I will, too.
Moe: Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. We'll be talkin' about all our escapades on this here page. Almost everything we can stuff in.
Curly: I'd rather have the cranberry sauce kept outta the stuffing. (Moe eyepokes him) Ow-hoh-oh-oh! I can't see, I can't see!
Moe & Larry: What the matter?
Curly: I got my eyes closed. (Moe flicks his nose) Ooh! Hmmph! Ruff!
Moe: Quiet, Airedale!
Larry: Yeah, quiet!
Moe: You stay outta this! (he head-clunks Larry)
Now, this is a page about us listin' almost everything about us, and we'll be talkin' about 'em down there! So quit lookin' here and start readin' those tropes down there!
Larry: Also, we'll only be talkin' about ourselves, and ourselves only; Shemp, Besser, and Curly-Joe won't be talked about. If ya want, you can help us add more know-how about us guys.
These tropes are woith readin'. They're informative, they're knowledgeable, they're even mediocre.
- Accidental Athlete:Larry: We were once mistaken for three famous horsemen from Bolder Dam.
Moe: But we didn't know about it, and when being asked to play football, this guy paid us, and we needed the money anyway.
- Acrofatic:Curly: For a guy like me, I'm pretty light on my feet. I even ran down to the bottom floor of an apartment building to catch a cake.
- Adolf Hitlarious:
- Adults Dressed as Children:
- All Just a Dream:
- Amusing Injuries:Curly: Every biff, every bopp, every sic, every sock, every...
Moe: That's enough! No matter how many times we get hurt, we're still in one piece.
- Bears Are Bad News:Curly: Bare in mind, we had some hard luck not runnin' into any bears when we hit the woods.
- Berserk Button:
- Broke Episode:Moe: We're usually flat broke and down on our luck.
Curly: We usually have to rely on solutions to make a quick buck, or by finding some food we can snatch.
- Butt-Monkey:Larry: As Moe said, we're down on our luck and usually have fate against us.
- The Cameo:Curly: We had a small role as subway workers that drilled through that lady's floor.
Moe: And a downright macrobiotic one as those firefighters!
Curly: I don't remember that one.
Larry: Like I said, we ain't talkin' about that!
- Catchphrase:Moe: We have many from five to 6⅞.
- Moe: I have...
- Larry: Mine are:
- "Leave 'im alone!" whenever Moe picks on Curly. Yet, guess what I get when I say that.
- And I also had "Hey, what's goin' on around here?".
- Curly: If you think that's good, you ain't read nothin' yet.
- "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."
- "I'm a victim of soicumstance!"
- "Hey, Moe, hey, Larry!"
- Chubby Mama, Skinny Papa:Larry: I had a few infatuations with big gals. They're light on their feet, but heavy to carry.
- Deadpan Snarker:Larry: My common habit.
Moe: Quit braggin'. (he eyepokes him)
- Department of Redundancy Department:Curly: We tend to say the same meaning in many different sayings, adjectives, even nouns, and let's not forget about phrases. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
- Disguised in Drag:Moe: Our common trick to get away from the cops or others.
- D.I.Y. Disaster:Larry: Everything we do is outta whack! One of us is crazy and it's not you...wait.
- Dope Slap:Moe: And how! Allow me to demonstrate. (slaps Curly)
Curly: Ow! What didja do that for?!
Moe: Oh, you know what you did!
- Einstein Hair:Larry: Does my hair really look like Einstein's?
Moe: You don't think like him. (He hits him on the head)
- Extreme Omnivore:Curly: I never heard of it.
Moe: Neither have I.
Larry: Yeah, thinkin' about what it means makes me wanna have burnt toast and a rotten egg.
Moe: Why would ya eat that?
Larry: I got a tapeworm and that's good enough for 'im.
- Eye Poke:Larry: Don't get us started on that.
Moe: Quiet, porcupine. (cue eyepoke)
- Fat Idiot:Curly: Listen, you! On behalf of that phrase, I resent that!
- Flowery Insults:Moe: I don't insult 'em that much, you nitwit!
- Food Fight:Larry: Whenever we're at a party at a classy joint, it always ends up with throwin' pies.
- Hard Head:
- He-Man Woman Hater:
- Jerkass:Moe: Who?
Moe: Oh, yeah?
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold:Moe: ...well, I know I can be rough to you guys, but I know when I am.
Larry: Sometimes, I wonder.
Moe: Oh, ungrateful, eh? (he slaps him)
- Karma Houdini:Moe: We always get away... (snapping his fingers) ...like that. Almost.
- Lethal Chef:Curly: Are you kiddin'? My cookin' is to die for!
Moe: It probably meant "legal".
Curly: Oh, that's different.
- Malaproper:Curly: Malaproper? I had experience with mallards. As long as they're properly raised.
- Manchild:Curly: We're not children, but we are men!
- Mirror-Cracking Ugly:Moe: This frizzle-top breaks more mirrors that way.
- The Movie:
- Never My Fault:Larry: I don't see why Moe can't see it's usually his fault when we all do somethin' stupid.
Moe: Why, I'll show you somethin' that is my fault, you chowderhead! (hits Larry on the head)
- New Job as the Plot Demands:Moe: In most of our little crusades, we keep ending up gettin' a new job whenever we make a mess of everything.
- Pig Latin:Moe: Arrylay n-day I arey expert-says at-lay is-thay.Translation
Larry: Eahyay, veney ouyay ancay derstandunyay ityay onyay ouryay ownay.Translation
- Plank Gag:Moe: I don't know why I ever let you muttonheads carry ladders or planks. It always ends with me gettin' hit in the face!
Curly: I'm a victim of soicumstance! Am I supposed to have eyes in the back of my head?
- Pungeon Master:Curly: You never can tell when I say somethin' witty. But I don't have to explain it. Nyuk, nyuk... (Moe slaps him on the back of that head) Oh!
Moe: Always clownin'.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here:Larry: You said it! We do it all the time for whenever we run from the law, a gang, a business, and further more...
Moe: That's enough.
- Slapstick:Moe: Our specialty.
Curly: We even got our own image on the main page!
- Stock Footage:Moe: We just happen to get into similar situations more than once, that's all.
- Vitriolic Best Buds:Moe: Even though we're rough on each other, we're always stickin' together. As the saying goes: all for one...
Larry: ...one for all...
Curly: Every man for himself!
(Moe and Larry glare at him)
- Moe: Well, what are ya still doin' here? You read all there is on this page!
Larry: Come on, beat it! Stay here too long, you'll wind up waistin' your life!
Curly: Soitenly! Besides, there are plenty of other pages you can visit down there, too.