(For best effect, read in the voice of a very whiny Lewis Lovhaug.)
Finally I got my own page here on TV Tropes! What took 'em so long? It doesn't matter now, let me introduce you. My name is Clark Kent but you no doubt all know me as Superboy-Prime, and I'm quite obviously the most capable superhero in existence!
I came from Earth-Prime, an Earth where all superheroes were just comic book characters. I had a normal life and even a girlfriend. Somewhere along the line, I found out one day I had developed powers exactly like Superman's. Still not sure how that happened. So, natch, I decided to to become a superhero. I was the real-life Superboy! But all of that went to hell thanks to the First Crisis that erased my Earth and entire universe from existence. Being the awesome guy that I am, I helped other superheroes, including my personal hero Superman to stop Anti-Monitor, to save the whole of creation. Pretty awesome of me, right? I was saved by Alexander Luthor Jr. from Earth-3 and we were dropped into a "paradise" Pocket Dimension, along with Superman and Lois Lane from Earth-2
But all of those years of solitude, missing my Earth, and seeing how the superheroes I admired messed up again and again, I started getting antsy and frustrated. Especially that emo imposter Conner Kent! That guy has it made! I woulda given anything to have what he has, that selfish, ineffectual asshole! Eventually, Alex and old man Supes finally agreed that we had to do something about it. So, when the Second Crisis started, we took the first chance we got and busted out of our prison dimension. Alex helped orchestrate scheme with Batman's Brother Eye, and stirred the pot with the already dysfunctional superhero community, and I got to work reclaiming my rightful place as Superboy and beat Connor's sorry ass to prove it, to finally get him out of the picture! Then the loser Teen Titans came along picking a fight! And I lost my damn patience! I'd had to watch the heroes I sacrificed my entire home for keep messing up, and now they were attacking me! What was I doing wrong!? Well, not gonna lie, I lost my cool, and I ended up killing at least a quarter of the team by accident, but as far as I'm concerned, they asked for it! As if things couldn't get bad enough, The Speedsters, including Barry Allen (who I thought was dead), yanked me into and imprisoned me in the Speed Force and left me to rot! Natch, I busted my way outta there! The Speed Force may be damn powerful, but I'm Superboy, which means there's nothing I can't do! I spent a good 8 years in there, but time works differently, so, Bart aged up into a 20 something and took up Allen's suit, where I forged this badass solar-absorbing armor that looked like the Anti-Monitor's, and joined Alex to watch him reconstruct the Multiverse, and finally get my home back. So, I set out to put the multiverse right, the way it was supposed to be. I was going to make everything perfect, no matter how many of these fakersI had to kill to do it!
I could tell you more about my life and how those stupid "superheroes" ruined it, but that's what Wikipedia and the DC Database are for. So, you better read up and stop bothering me! Oh, and some tropers made a section about me in Superman's Rogues Gallery! I'm not a villain, you self-righteous dickheads! I'm SUPERBOY!
Publications where I appeared:
- DC Comics Presents #87, my first documented appearance, including my origins, my Earth and my first encounter with the original Superman.
- Crisis on Infinite Earths, I showed up near the end to help take down the Anti-Monitor. And then that monster blew my dimension to hell. That still stings.
- Infinite Crisis, my comeback and FaceHeel Turn. Hey, if doing the right thing makes me a bad guy, then I'm a bad guy!
- Sinestro Corps War, where I was freed for that pink mustached dude with the Yellow Power Ring to be part of his knobjob corps. And you know what? I like being bad, it makes me happy.
- Countdown to Final Crisis, after the stupid sacrifice of one of Green Lanterns' Guardians, I journeyed into The Multiverse, temporarily aged up into adulthood, trying to find my Earth-Prime, slaughtering other copycats of Superman in the process. I'd say it's fun, but those fatass fanboys won't stop bitching at me about it. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't my best moment. At the same time, gimme a damn break, s'hardly the worst thing I ever did.
- Legion of 3 Worlds, where I came back in the future where I was treated like a god by the Legion of Supervillains, where I fought 3 Legions and finally I could fight against Superman. And worse, those bastards brought the losers Conner and Bart back to life.
- Blackest Night, where a zombified version of my good ol' buddy Alex Luthor came to sucker me into helping his slimy, lying ass again, but gave me my powers and even my armor back. But, all in all, I...I finally figured out being evil really wasn't working out for me anymore. Laurie, my last real best friend from my old life helped me figure it out.
- Teen Titans, my last appearance, where I was ripped off my Earth by those Titans. They just can't leave me the hell alone, can they!? And well, that ended up being the last time I showed up before good ol' Barry Allen went and broke the damn timestream up, and rebooted everything over again. Thankfully, you guys finally cut me some slack and try to ignore this shitpiece, in favor of letting me have a happy ending. Y'know, I guess you guys aren't half bad after all.
This website slung me these pretentious "examples":
- Conner. Freaking. Kent. He isn't even a real Kryptonian! He's a freaking clone! Of your Superman. As if that wasn't bad enough, he actually got a team, parents, and respect. Everything I wanted!
- Also those stupid Green Lanterns who locked me in a Power Ring-created prison. Asshats, all of 'em!
- And the Speedsters! God, I h-h-hate the Speedsters!
- Ax-Crazy: Hey! I'm a real superhero! You wanna talk crazy? Take a look at the crappy universes DC's got out now!
- Badass Cape: Oh yeah, especially with my Anti-Monitor Armor. Totally cool.
- Berserk Button: I'M SUPERBOY! You even think about calling Connor the "real one", and I'll rip your freaking head off!
- The Berserker: What can I say? These stupid fakers piss me off.
- Beware the Superboy-Prime: You better believe it, punkass.
- Beyond the Impossible: I broke the walls of the pocket universe and I changed the reality, and after I freed from that place I realigned and even destroy planets by myself. Nah, I'm yanking ya.
- Blood Knight: Well hey, it's fun killing these pathetic imposters!
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": I carved it right into my chest.
- The Brute: I did the dirty work for my so-called "friend" Alexander Luthor Jr. Can't believe that asshole suckered me into it again!
- Can't Un-Hear It: So help me god, if you read all of this in Linkara's voice! That dumbass geek is just jealous!
- Chest Insignia: Every Superman's got one.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: After Barry messed up the timestream again and they rebooted everything with the The New 52, they just freaking forgot about me!? THIS IS BULLSHIT!!
- Cloning Blues: I took of what was left of Match, a clone of Conner, who was ''already'' a clone himself (wtf?) and I made 3 more at my service just to stick it to that pink-faced schmuck. SUCK IT, LOSER!
- Comic Books Are Real: Given that my world was more or less a depiction of the "real world", I eventually got to see all of my heroes I grew up reading about in comics actually come to lift when I got involved in the First Crisis. To say I was severely let down would be a damn Understatement.
- Department of Redundancy Department: I'll kill you! I'll kill you to DEATH! There I said it, you freakin' happy?
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Being depowered and useless for my own plans, I just killed off the Anti-Monitor for real◊. I can't tell if it actually happened or not.
- The Dragon: Just for fun in the time I was part of Sinestro Corps, serving as the herald of the Anti-Monitor. Could you believe it?
- Expy: That Kryptonian noid from The New 52 called H'El is probably the closest they're gonna get to me. Eh, can't win em all.
- FaceHeel Turn: Again, those fakers from Earth-1 went bad, not me!
- For Halloween, I Am Going as Myself: Kind of. After all of those years bullying me as "Superboy", finally I made the Cosplay for Halloween when the Halley Comet passed... and then the Crisis appeared and my once-hidden powers activated, and I became the real deal!
- A God Am I: I was considered this for the Legion of Super-Villains. I gotta say, I can't argue with that! Especially during my tenure as the Time Trapper.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Since that pretentious phony old prick (Earth-1 Superman) said I wasn't worthy of my suit, I just scraped the S symbol into my chest with my bare hands.
- He Who Fights Monsters: I was a good guy before, but these self-promclaimed superheroes screwed everything up, so I came back to fix what they did wrong... my own way.
- Hero-Worshipper: Superman and all the League were my heroes when I was a kid. Shame they turned out to be disappointments for real.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: I'm not angry all the time, SHUT UP!
- In-Series Nickname: My friends in my dimension called me "Superboy", as I was named after a comic book character. But later, when I got stuck in Earth-1, all these fakers call me "Prime". As if it wasn't bad enough they ruined my dreams, they won't even call me Superman!
- Immune to Bullets: Dude, I'm Superman! What were you expecting?
- It's All About Me: What's wrong with that? I'm the only real superhero! I'm Superman! Why shouldn't it be about me?
- Love Interest: Laurie Lemmon, my first and only love. She loved me despite anything bad I ever did. And with her, things actually turned out okay.
- Names To Run Away From Very Fast: Yeah, you'd better back away from that screen, loser.
- Never My Fault: It's really not when you actually stop and think about it. Since some stuck-up, fake-ass DC writer who can't take criticism because of their terribly thin skin, they write me to do all these horrible things, it's really not MY fault, it's THEIRS. After all, no such thing as bad characters, just BAD WRITERS.
- No Fourth Wall: I came from a world that all the superheroes were fictional characters, you don't have to say it to me again!◊ Also, I almost kicked Dan DiDio's ass if it wasn't for those stupid Black Lantern zombies!
- Omnicidal Maniac: OK, you're clearly overexaggerating here.
- Pet the Dog: Believe it or not, I'm capable of compassion. The last time I appear, I'm gently hugging my friend Laurie. Guess even a dude like me can get happy ending after all.
- Powered Armor: I was powerful before, comes with having Kryptonian DNA, but thanks to my own version of the Anti-Monitor Armor, I became really freaking strong! I even killed the really old Superman!
- Psycho Rangers: I was part of Sinestro Corps for a while... until they failed to help me get what I wanted.
- Psychopathic Manchild: I'M NOT A FREAKING KID! And I'm not psychotic!
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Yeah, you don't have to say it again, TV Tropes, I got it◊.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: If I can't have my dimension back, these imposters won't have theirs.
- Shoulders of Doom: Thanks to my badass Anti-Monitor Armor.
- During my prison time in the Speed Force, I created a Powered Armor that fed me yellow sun radiation all the time, based on the Anti-Monitor's, but I added the S to make it look badass.
- And when I was inside The Multiverse grown up as "Superman-Prime", I was wearing that black uniform similar to when your Superman came Back from the Dead. I don't like talking about it.
- When I came back to my Earth-Prime, I was wearing the bloody Superman logo also from the event above.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Small name? SMALL NAME!? I'M SUPERBOY, goddamnit!
- Stupid Evil: WHO ARE YOU CALLING STUPID?! YOU'RE STUPID! I'LL KILL YOU!!!
- Time Travel: Becoming the Time Trapper. THAT was some epic shit right there.
- Troll: Those stupid fanboys from DC forums call me one. I'm not kidding! I'm freaking Superboy! Why would I lie about that!?
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: I was a good guy, I swear. They did this to me, and that's why I want to destroy them!
- With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: I'm not insane! Those fake superheroes are! That's why I'll Kill 'Em All, you dumbass!
- You Are Not Alone: Apart of me, there was another superhuman called as "Ultraa" that came for the same Earth. Also, turns out the Legion of Super-Heroes were real on my world to. Yeah, wish I'd known before I whupped their ass.