*Low growling noises*
Hmmm....Disgusting creature. Why have you come here? You're lucky I'm contained at the moment. Otherwise, I'd snap you in half.
I've been designated as SCP-682 or "Hard To Destroy Reptile". Though, I only look like one of your (admittedly not as vile but still hideous) cold-blooded creatures. The foundation captured me after I brutally slaughtered a bunch of [EXPLETIVES DELETED] farmers. Ever since then, they've tried to kill me. Needless to say, their pitiful attempts have been unsuccessful. So, for now, they keep me in a tank of acid in order to weaken me.
You filthy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] can read about [DATA EXPUNGED]-
- Ambiguous Gender: I may or may not be female. To be honest, gender doesn't really apply to me since I can be either, both, or neither at any time. Regeneration has that advantage.
- 053 seems to think I'd look pretty in a bow and dress. That's adorable.
- Absolute Xenophobe: My goal is to eradicate all disgusting vile beings in this universe.
- Adaptive Ability: No matter what the foundation does to me, sooner or later I'll grow immune to it, and begin wrecking their shit all over again. The downside is that I lose my adaptations if I'm not constantly exposed to whatever hazard it was... but damn they're fun while they last.
- Berserk Button: Life is a berserk button for me! You disgusting worthless piece of [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!
- Bioluminescence Is Cool: I adapted to 272 this way. *snort* How else do you defend against something that pins your shadow?
- Bizarre Alien Biology: No one knows if I'm truly organic. And apparently I'm related to some weird stuff meatbags found in an outer space colony, to the point of being a Berserk Button.
- Broken Base: Some of you humans seem to love me. Disgusting. Others find me to be overpowered. Equally disgusting. I find all humans to be repulsive.
- Cain and Abel: Ugh...as if 999 wasn't enough of a disgusting pile of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] there's the repulsive possibility he's my younger brother. Apparently, both of us are children of the Scarlet King. Stupid cheerful little [EXPLETIVE DELETED].
- Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": I'm not a reptile. I just look like one. Stupid humans.
- Ceiling Cling: Listen, meatbags. I am not afraid of SCP-524. Evasive maneuvers are a perfectly valid adaptation.
- Cosmic Retcon: Won't work on me, because my past can't be rewritten. I've seen what 2140 can do before, back when [REDACTED].
- Dead Horse Trope: In fairness, I did enjoy beating that horse corpse to a pulp with a bat.
- Diabolus ex Nihilo: You say that like it's uncommon around here.
- Eldritch Abomination: The foundation thinks something is "off" about me due to my physiology. *Snorts* Even 343, who claims to be God, is unable to sense my very presence. Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted.
- Extreme Omnivore: Anything I eat restores my power. Yes, even the acid they contained me in.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Well, have you seen SCP-053? The kid's freaking adorable, and she drew the cutest rainbow mushroom cloud on my carapace...
- Also, when she was revealed to be the horseman of death (maybe), guess who got to be her "horse"? How sweet...
- Evil Is Sexy: What in the name of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] is wrong with you humans?! Go look at 166 to satiate your animalistic desires like the filthy primates that you are! And clean yourself afterwards.
- Eyes Do Not Belong There: Hey, hey, I need those extra eyes I adapt sometimes, or else 173 will [REDACTED], SO QUIT SHOOTING THEM ALREADY!
- Failure Is the Only Option: You'd think that trying [DATA EXPUNGED] and even [DATA EXPUNGED] would kill me! And yet I'm still here.
- You know that whole Procedure 110-Montauk that must be done to prevent the Scarlet King's children from being born? Given I exist, it's clear you humans failed miserably.
- Good Thing You Can Heal: For me, yes. For you, it means I can heal any wounds before I tear apart the meaty husks you call bodies..
- Half the Man He Used to Be: The foundation tried this once. Both haves regenerated into me, heheh. But, I had to eat myself to speed up my regeneration, you know how it is.
- Horrifying the Horror: KEEP THAT THINGnote AWAY FROM ME!
- Horse of a Different Color: That deranged idiot Dr. Kondraki once tried to ride me. Dumb [EXPLETIVE DELETED] nearly got himself (Remember: can't die) killed by 173. For the record, the only one allowed to ride me is 053. If anyone else, especially Kondraki (again), tries to ride me, I will shove my claws up his [EXPLETIVE DELETED] until their bodily fluids ooze out of every orifice on there body, especially the ones I JUST MADE!
- Humans Through Alien Eyes: From my perspective, all life in this world are filthy horrid piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] that must be destroyed at once! If you ask me, I'm doing everyone a favor by eradicating such filth.
- Infernal Retaliation: Once, the Foundation tried throwing me into their sun. I came right back, on fire, doubtlessly pissed and ready to burn some fuckers.
- The Juggernaut: You [EXPLETIVE DELETED] know you'll never destroy me, I'm much too powerful!
- Liminal Being: They're finally starting to catch on that words like "alive" and "organic" only apply to me in the loosest sense.
- Multiple-Choice Past: Am I an alien? 053's mount? The devil himself? Or perhaps I'm one of the Scarlet King's children the foundation is so desperate to keep from being born. Perhaps I'm all of the above. To be honest, so long as I can rip out your[REDACTED] and use it as dental floss, it doesn't really matter.
- Nightmare Fuel: I'm a hate-filled monster that can heal from nearly anything! Of course you should fear me!
- Non-Malicious Monster: Surprised? It's not in my nature to be this aggressive and violent; you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are just that disgusting to me. If I see something that isn't so horrifying, like 053, or Dr. Clef behind his [DATA EXPUNGED], I'll leave it be.
- Nuke 'em: They refuse to try this on me. They're afraid I'll become radioactive. And then what? Rampage across Tokyo? Come to think of it, that sounds about right.
- Obliviously Evil: You humans acting like me wanting to destroy you is a bad thing. Is it wrong for me to eradicate a bunch of pests?
- Odd Friendship: Turns out I don't hate everything on this putrid sphere of filth.
- 053. Why you worthless piles of flesh keep such a sweet little girl contained is beyond me. I mean, have you seen her? She's freakin' adorable! And if I find out you've harmed one hair on her precious little head, I'll [MEGA FUCKING REDACTED. WHAT THE HELL] WITH A WIND TURBINE! That is, unless she causes you to die first. Isn't that cute?
- 079 and I bonded quickly during our short time together. We share a lot of common interests like our hatred of living things and our desire to eradicate life in the slowest and most painful way possible. Heh heh. I do look forward to visiting him again.
- Ugh... 999 and I are not friends. See below for details, you sacks of worthless meat.
- Omnicidal Maniac: DIE! DIE YOU DISGUSTING LIFEFORMS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
- Power Copying: Sometimes my adaptations allow me to use whatever the Foundation has used on me against them, like 061's psychic Mind Control, 999's happiness, or me, the toaster...
- Regret Eating Me: ...Why did you stupid flesh sacks think that any hamburger meat made out of me would be good?!
- Reptiles Are Abhorrent: My codename is "Hard-to-Kill Reptile". Not that I am one, stupid Foundation!
- The Rival: Oh, 1548. It's a race between me and him to see who destroys all of you meatbags first. Make no mistake, I will break free and do it myself way before that hydrogen balloon gets here. In the meantime, we rap.
- Satan: Perhaps. See Multiple-Choice Past above, stupid humans. Though, my interactions with SCP-001 are of any indication...
- Also, how the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] did you humans not realize that wasn't the garden? Don't you have 343 in containment? Stupid Foundation.
- Sophisticated as Hell: I can be quite eloquent in my speech patterns. Why I waste my vocabulary on such putrid, disgusting, absolutely revolting mounds of flesh and bone is [EXPLETIVE DELETED] beyond me.
- Take a Third Option: Once they tried to use that loud [EXPLETIVE DELETED] bird, 2337, against me. Simply asking him to leave was enough to work. The [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are "gummy worms" anyway?
- Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Anytime I fight a strong SCP inevitably turns into this, but good luck trying to find one that'll put me down for good!
- Against 076-B: Pretty fun, unless you count the part where he respawned. Must be how those scientists feel whenever their toys don't kill me.
- Against 096: Skinny bastard's a lot tougher than he looks, though I'm pretty sure I broke his spirit at least.
- Against 372: Cornered it. Knocked it out. The end.
- Against 826: The foundation used this thing to make a friendly monster that most definitely could, and would kill me. *smug, toothy grin* Killed it anyway.
- Against 2599: Turns out the little shit couldn't kill me, even when I asked (Cheeky wink, laughtrack, jazzy outro).
- Vitriolic Best Buds: 999 and I have a love/hate relationship. He loves me, I wish he'd shove his happy-go-lucky face into a blender going full spead. I must admit, being able to kill those personnel with the power of laughter was quite enjoyable. 999 can still go fuck himself if he ever tries to tickle me again, though.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: The [EXPLETIVE DELETED] is a "woobie"? I must admit, I do quite like the "Destroyer Of Worlds" moniker. Sounds about right. You humans are still grotesque piles of [EXPLETIVE DELETED].
- The Worf Effect: If something needs to be shown as crazy strong in a tale, it'll end up killing me.
- Like the one about when 1548 finally arrived. He disintegrated me. Come on! There's no way a stupid ball of hydrogen can kill me! He can't even beat me in a rap battle!
- 151-D apparently decapitated me with my own severed jaw... If the little [EXPLETIVE DELETED] hadn't gotten bored and wandered off I would've definitely killed his ass before 056 did.
- Ghh... whichever jellybag thought of the idea of 173 being able to replicate deserves an extra painful demise, courtesy of me.
- 2935 killed an Expendable Alternate Universe me... but it also killed 173 and every last [REDACTED] on that version of this worthless rock, so props to it, I suppose.
Now....*Glass cracks* to eradicate you filthy [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and all disgusting beings....*glass shatters*...
WARNING! 682 CONTAINMENT BREACH! WARNING 682 CONTAINMENT BREACH! WA- *Roars are heard as a massive clawed hand breaks the alarm system*
- "That feculent little snot wad can [EXPLETIVE DELETED] and die!"My thoughts on 999.